Does your spouse know ...

[49greg]

i have been writing for awhile but never posted anything. i bought a i pad and put a writing app on it. husband was playing around and opened it found my story. he was pissed off stopped talking to me left for 3weeks. but i keep emailing him what I was writing. he got over it and come home but wont talk to me about it.

That's the kind of reaction I was expecting, but I guess the way she found out kind of softened it. I'm retired, she's younger and is still working, so I do most of the housework. A few months ago she was complaining about how I wasn't keeping the place up to snuff and went on and on about what was I doing with all that time I had. I had no defense on the housework front so I told her I was writing stories to post on-line.

Both of us have wanted to write, but haven't ever finished anything, so she was a little surprised. I think both of us have always felt that "writing" is a worthwhile thing to do. So I got a little bit off the hook for not being a very good househusband. Only later she asked to see the stories, that's when I told her I wrote erotica. She said "you write porn!?" LOL. Says she doesn't want to read it.

I guess using it as an excuse to not vacuum often enough or clean the bathroom softened the blow. My next step (suggested by a fellow author I correspond with) is to ask her for ideas. Then I can get her to edit/proofread. - She's an English Major and also is way smarter than me so it would be a great partnership.

She's mentioned in passing about my writing "smut", just dropped a comment once or twice. And now that I think of it she did find out my 'nome de plume' while making sure that I wasn't using my real name. Hmmmm maybe she does read my stuff. I should write something far out in a story about two people like us ... see if she mentions something similar some time LOL.

I still had to improve on the housework front. Thank god she's not an ass. I'm sorry your husband reacted the way he did.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Get rid of the bitch.

 

[mikoli5763]

Wouldn't have done it if she hadn't.

Yes, my wife knows that I write erotic stories (Not smut!), knows my early stories used us as basis for characters (Extra marital activities are all fiction!), and the category (LW) that most of my stories go in. She has read a few, but not all, said she liked all but one of the ones she's read, and tells me she's proud of me for being able to write. The only negative thing she's said is she can't brag about my writing to her family and friends because of the subject matter and their uptight attitudes. I'm sure there or other couples like we are, but I've not met any that I know of, in that we keep no secrets, tell the truth always, (Yes, even to the one "Does this make my ass look big?"), and have each other's backs against any and everybody; family included. I told her I was going to try and write erotic and asked if she was okay with it. If she'd told me she was not happy with my choice of subject matter, I wouldn't have written the first word. I so glad she was okay with it! I do enjoy writing and hope to continue and to improve.

 

[glynndah]

No one knows. It's my secret.

 

[StrangeLife]

...we keep no secrets, tell the truth always...

Not to make you worry or anything, but do you ever watch the Maury Show?

 

[jdnunyer]

I'm impressed by everyone who's told their spouse, especially those who write edgier stuff. I'm happily single, so that's not an issue for me, but it took me years to tell anyone I know IRL. I eventually told both my brothers, but only one knows that I write incest, and he hasn't read any. I don't think I'll be telling anyone else either.

 

[bashfullyshameless]

My girlfriend knows, supports and often gives my stories a once-over before I post them.

Pretty much everyone in my life outside of my job knows about my writing. Few of my friends read my stuff on Lit, but many of them have read my novels. Writing has become a much bigger part of my life than my day job. I eventually ran into a spot where I kinda had to tell my mother that my books were paying my bills, and then she just HAD to read it, and damn if the girlfriend's step-mother didn't have exactly the same opinion... yeah. Awkward. Perfectly supportive and non-judgmental, but awkward.


I should note, though, that I live in Seattle and my social circles are all generally very sex-positive.

 

[TE999]

My wife has read all of my non-erotic stories and likes them. She knows I also write 'smut', doesn't approve, won't read it, but chooses to ignore it and not bust my chops about it. She kids me once and awhile about 'porn' and that's about it. No one else in our separate or mutual acquaintance knows about my 'smut' and I don't think they'd read it anyway, yet a lot of them have read my non-erotic stories and liked them. Can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself (pace' Rick Nelson).

 

[SandraMustard]

Of course my husband knows because he's my first line editor, but no one else like our adult children or our siblings. The odd thing about our family is our son is a screen writer and and has produced some racy movie shorts. He wants to write a book too; probably would be flabbergasted to know I have published novel to my credit.

 

[_Lynn_]

Well, the question is does your spouse know . . . I don't have a spouse, but my other half knows what I write and supports me fully. In fact, one of the novels I'm writing now was his idea.

My ex read everything posted here on Lit. He didn't say much, just commented on a couple that I have in the non-erotic category. That's about what I expected from him.

 

[DeYaKen]

Yes she knows. She doesn't like it but she knows the sites I contribute to and the type of story I write. She is curious. I tell her about the feedback I get, only the good stuff of course, and she is tempted to look. As soon as she sees the site has adult content she will go no further.

She did look across at my screen while I was writing and went into a huff. She said she'd read one word and that it was disgusting. That word was pussy.

From things she has said, I get the feeling things would be different if I got paid.

 

[PennLady]

From things she has said, I get the feeling things would be different if I got paid.

LOL I know that feeling. My mom found out about my stories, and she's a little weirded out, but she liked it when I was selling them. She's read a couple of the tamer ones. She started reading a nonhuman one and got grossed out when a vampire was beheaded.

 

[handysr]

I've got to say that I am really shocked to see the number of people who said their partner would (or had) such a massive negative reaction.

My wife does know that I write, and she has read most of my stories, but she really liked only about half of them. Even though she knew from the get-go that they were just pretend, it took her a while to understand it was fiction and not something I was trying to subtely talk her into doing. Because of that, my character's sex lives were 1000x better than my own, which led to more stories.

A few friends and family know that I write also, but as far as I know none of them know my screen names. I haven't heard of a negative reaction from them, even though they may not be the most open-minded.

 

[GorgeousGeekGirl]

My husband has no interest in sex and discourages me from having any interest. So no, he doesn't know because while I'm past caring about his opinion, I don't want to listen to non stop yelling for weeks.

 

[cfuhrer]

Yup, he knows.
I don't think he's read it, but he knows it's here and he knows where to find it.
He also knows I edit for other writers here and have other of my own works in the pipeline.

 

[DeYaKen]

My husband has no interest in sex and discourages me from having any interest. So no, he doesn't know because while I'm past caring about his opinion, I don't want to listen to non stop yelling for weeks.

How sad. It begs the question, if you are beyond caring about his opinion, why are you still together?

As I said my wife knows and started off dismissing it. She would be very embarrassed if her friends from church knew about it so I don't post anywhere under my real name. I used to have a photo on my profile but took it down because I didn't want to embarrass her.

I would love it if she could read my stories and give me an objective opinion. Now just as I have accepted that it's never going to happen, she's asked me to load the latest offering onto my kindle for her to read.

 

[driphoney]

LIT writers are the bravest of the brave hiding behind their fake pix and names.

Except you, of course. But your comment is still valid. I’ve met a handful regulars here, and most actually are who they appear to be and how they come across. One is faking a whole lot, which is sad.

I, myself, put up a veil here. I’m a (now) single female, I don’t need any weirdo porn creepers appearing in my real life or being a threat to my very real family. Priorities.

As for answering the question, my former husband knows and has always been fine with it. Some friends know.

 

[SouthernPeaches]

Nope

Husband does not know. Actually, after 22 years he apparently does not know me at all.
He never wanted to watch porn with me, or visit a strip club. He is embarrassed by the idea.
I've kept a veil over my sexual ideology, and that includes writing erotica.
I have a wild streak AND I love to write, so LIT is natural to me. I write technical pieces for a living.
I also write poetry and songs..... and stories that include things like cocks and orgasms. It gives me joy, and life offers too little of that particular amenity.

Some friends know and seem to enjoy my stories. They are not embarrassed at all!

 

[sr71plt]

Chances are good that he's been visiting strip clubs--just not with you.

 

[SouthernPeaches]

Chances are good that he's been visiting strip clubs--just not with you.

Maybe so, in fact I hope so.
I've sure been visiting strip clubs without him!
;-)

 

[LovesNipples]

Wife doesn't know.

My wife has no idea that I write sex stories. I don't know if i want her to know, as her physical features are frequently those of one of my characters. No, I don;t want her to be kidnapped by a bus load of convicts and gang raped, but i love her body so it is what i use for my central character.

 

[driphoney]

My husband has no interest in sex and discourages me from having any interest. So no, he doesn't know because while I'm past caring about his opinion, I don't want to listen to non stop yelling for weeks.

Why does this sound so familiar? And why does bumping into a female hanging on a porn board while have a hubby with “no interest” also look so, umm, familiar?

What a rough, hard lesson I’ve lived the last several years. You ever want to talk, I’m just a pm away.

 

[patientlee]

LOL I know that feeling. My mom found out about my stories, and she's a little weirded out, but she liked it when I was selling them. She's read a couple of the tamer ones. She started reading a nonhuman one and got grossed out when a vampire was beheaded.

My mother found out when I used her computer to check my email. We agreed to never speak of it again. That was not a good day!

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

My mother found out when I used her computer to check my email. We agreed to never speak of it again. That was not a good day!

OMG! I don't even want to think how that would go over, Mom's little boy writing filth. She'd probably drag me to confession immediately.

Thank god for my Samsung tablet, gmail and dropbox. I have access everywhere, as long as there's wireless. No borrowing computers for me.