Does your lover hate fetish or Bondage Too

[vicdamize]

I Live In southern Cali "the inland empire" and I was wondering does anyone else have the same situation as I do... My wife,
"great looking gal by the way" and fun when she wants to be...
despises fetish or bondage, No matter how many times I explain to her how important this is too me she fails to see the relivence.
I have emassed a great deal of fine gear and never get to use it with her. So like possibly some of you, end up playing alone. This sucks!!! I wanna hear from anyone else who feels the same way I do. Married, attached, whatever... I just wanna hear your thoughts. How do you deal? I often feel like I married the wrong gal. But with kids, a home and a great deal of time invested already I just cant come to bailing out. We are young...in our early 30s and I am going to introduce my wife to someone who might be able to help us inderstand how to live in harmany...
Perhaps a couple I meet on this network can help. Something needs to chainge...

Can You Help us?
Can you help me?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Lady Emerald has a similar thread. It is quite full of opinion and information. I have no advice or opinion to offer either of you. All I can do is empathize.

 

[Lady Emerald]

Hey Vic, welcome to the club. I'm thinking we maybe ought to start a support group for all the spouses/partners in out situation. No one has any answers as far as I can see. There have been one or two "happy ever afters" where the couple both explored aspects of D/s together. But, mostly it seems a struggle. The thread Rose mentioned is at
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=200608

 

[catalina_francisco]

'Life wasn't meant to be easy' so the saying goes..as does 'most things worth having take more than a little work'.

C

 

[Shadowsdream]

vicdamize...

Does your wife say WHY she hates what you love?
What turns her off to the entire scenerio?
Does the conversation stay in an unargumentative zone or is it instant confrontational?
Where has she gotten the information that has led her to her stance on it?
......

sometimes walking backwards to the source of her displeasure with this form of erotica can be the first step to walking forward to an solution.

 

[Etoile]

[hijack]
The title of this thread made me giggle. The way it's capitalized, "Bondage Too" reminded me of the preteen clothing/accessory store "Limited Too" (an offshoot of The Limited) and I was thinking how on earth did they get into that line of work?!
[/hijack]

 

[SexyChele]

As usual, Shadowsdream offers excellent advice. I would add to that by asking if your interest in fetish and/or bondage came before or after your relationship with your wife. Also, if your wife is not (yet??) into this type of play, why expend the money on gear?

Your wife could have a number of different reasons why she is not into this kind of action, and all of it is valid. I know what worked for me in the beginning was to take tiny steps. And also, not for very long lengths of time. At first I would "test", telling him to stop just to see if he would.

This can be a hot issue with people who feel strongly about it. It is best to try to find out what the source of the issues are. And to do it in a way that is non-confrontational and not blaming.

 

[erotic4play]

Re..

It does suck.. look for some one to share your thought's and desires with and build on that. Soem one you can trust who wants you want. Life is short go after what you need, life is what you nake it. So make it the best you can!

 

[Pure]

I'm sorry, but when I see two different 'plight' threads launched on the same day

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=203815

and two different ads for playmates, some secret and extramarital, I have trouble with the 'vicdamized' self label.

With all this compassion flowing, I must strike a discordant note: the appearance, based on limited evidence, is of a person--trying for diplomacy here-- more deserving of the handle HighlySelfInvolved, with a big thirst for attention. The appropriate 'advice', based on what's here, then is for him to 'do his own thing' while exiting the current on-paper marriage. Call it my wild misanthropic imagination, but somehow I picture that he's already getting his kinks indulged in r.l., quite well, thank you.

J.

 

[Never]

Hate to break the BDSM bubble here but maybe you shouldn't post pictures of your wife's face on a porn site without her permission.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

This guy is 100% phoney, and looking for someone to fuck, nothing more...we are wasting our time trying to advise someone who is looking for cyber and r/l play partners and nothing more.

Fucking trolls.

 

[Never]

Hey.. I'm looking for cyber and r/l play partners and I don't like people jumping onto my territory. Scram vicdamize.

 

[Netzach]

Boy I'm just dying to play with this person. He seems like a giver.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Boy I'm just dying to play with this person. He seems like a giver.

If that is what you call someone who thinks with their dick alone..yep he is a giver, but not the sort I find enticing. Like some mental activity sometimes!! LOL.

C

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Boy I'm just dying to play with this person. He seems like a giver.

Yeah, he's surely a giver...probably herpes.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Hey.. I'm looking for cyber and r/l play partners and I don't like people jumping onto my territory. Scram vicdamize.

Easy, greasy!! I doubt loverboy here is gonna take anything from you...nobody worth having, anyways.