Does narrowmindedness bug you?

[DVS]

Does narrow-mindedness bug you? Well, does it? The below link takes you to a collarme profile, so if you don't have your own profile there, I forewarn you that you might not be able to view it. Sorry.

For those who can't, I'll give you the basics, so you won't be missing that much. And before I get too far into it, this is NOT a political thread and I don't want politics to take it over. Being a democrat or a republican is just a personal choice...forcing your choice onto another is not necessary.

First, this lady is a submissive. Obviously, just a sexual submissive, and not a social one. There's nothing wrong with that, but she is limiting her options so much, she might not find what (who) she is looking for in a Dom.

In her HARD limits, the first on the list is republicans. First of all, that's not very liberal minded of her. Sure, she has the right to do this, but does being a republican make you a bad Dom? I don't think so. Also, does being a republican mean you can't socialize with a democrat? I know that's not the case, because I have no problem with it and do it quite often.

This lady goes on to say another of her hard limits is relocation. I don't see that as something I would put in my limits list, but I don't see myself relocating, either. I guess it could then be considered a HARD limit, but in a strange sort of way. I guess she's saying there is no way in hell she'll be relocating from her southern California life.

Her list of HARD limits continues with the obvious..."inclusion of children, scat, and things which might necessitate the services of a fully staffed ER or OR..."

Actually, my most favorite sub in the entire world is a democrat. She and I disagree quite a bit, as far as politics are concerned, but in the sexual area, we are VERY compatible. Politics don't get in the way, at all.

This lady could be seriously limiting her options. Why, her most compatible Dom could be in the republican fold. I can see it now...
I could have her naked, bound and my hand holding the crop, flogger, switch or button to the electrical torture device (use your imagination), and asking her questions of the political persuasion. Something like "who's your favorite president?" OR "Who's your LEAST favorite president?"

Maybe you see where I’m going with this. She must answer in the way I require, or she suffers, physically. She did say her "interests" include bondage (mental and physical), so wouldn't this sort of treatment be included? Cruel and unusual punishment, you might say?

Yes, I'm bored, and this just struck me as a way to pass some time. She has a perfect right to put anything she wants in her HARD limit list. And, I wouldn't ever match up with her, because she lives way too far away for me. I couldn't even afford a short visit to California, on my present income. And, if she lists relocation as a HARD limit, I'm sure visits to the mid-west are probably up there, too. LOL. And, because I'm a republican...never these two people shall meet.

OK, I'm not going to get deep into possible reasons she could have for making such limit demands. I guess politics could be her avocation in life and I could then see why she might not want to socialize with someone of the other party.

Some people feel VERY strongly about their political views. I understand that. I feel that way, at times, too. But, it doesn't dictate my life. It just all struck me as a little strange, is all, in a humorous sort of way. I thought I'd ask if the rest of you would be so limiting, for this or other reasons, in your quest for a compatible partner. Or, is it me? Maybe I'm not as conservative minded as I thought?

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/154582/details.htm

 

[Lilith]

While I would/have found myself very amused with conservative republican subs, I would never choose one as a life partner. My political views are too much a part of my everyday life to go through life with someone who sees things so very different from me. It's not where I choose to expend my energy. So I can understand someone saying that is a hard limit if they are looking for a mate, be they Dom or sub. For me, for fun, I can enjoy the company of anyone I mesh with regardlous of political views, but there is something very sweet about seeing a man participate in acts/say things, that totally contradict their supposed beliefs.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes it does, but perhaps she is being wise in regards to politics if she is seeking something more than a temporary thing. I have been in relationships with men who did not share my political views, or worse, had no political view of their own, and it got frustrating and tiring over time whenever anything arose that involved politics and they either didn't care or tried to get me to change to their persuasion assuming because I was female I was incapable of knowing what I was thinking. Given I see politics in every facet of our lives, and unfortunately these days not great politics, it would drive me nuts to be sub to someone who had a complete opposite philosophy and perhaps expected me to adopt it also. Friends are OK for having opposing views, but not a permanent relationship in a D/s sense.

That being said, I do find a lot of people do not have realistic expectations when seeking another for a serious relationship. It amazes me when someone who has been looking unsuccessfully for a longtime insists on thinking they will still find someone living just around the corner and won't consider anyone who lives more than 30 minutes drive away, if that. Perhaps it comes from living all my life in Oz where to get almost anywhere you can expect to have to travel far and wide that I didn't ever hold onto the comfortable idea that the one for me was necessarily going to be local...kept an open mind on it, but didn't bank on it being a reality so opened my options to the world.

Then don't get me onto those multitude of profiles from subs who state they have NO limits, will do anything, then type a long list of things they won't do right down to the most miniscule such as change their hair style or try spanking etc., so by the time they finish all they really are willing to do is have sex, the way they like it and when they say it is OK, and on occasion act submissive as long as it does not require any of the things on their mile long list and they can say once agaqin when and what is OK. Just makes me wonder what they think submission is sometimes.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

Yes it does, but perhaps she is being wise in regards to politics if she is seeking something more than a temporary thing. I have been in relationships with men who did not share my political views, or worse, had no political view of their own, and it got frustrating and tiring over time whenever anything arose that involved politics and they either didn't care or tried to get me to change to their persuasion assuming because I was female I was incapable of knowing what I was thinking. Given I see politics in every facet of our lives, and unfortunately these days not great politics, it would drive me nuts to be sub to someone who had a complete opposite philosophy and perhaps expected me to adopt it also. Friends are OK for having opposing views, but not a permanent relationship in a D/s sense.

I personally agree. I'm friends with lots of democrats and liberals, but that's cause I don't live with them. We can agree to disagree. It's not that easy when you're living with the person.

Frankly, if (god forbid) something happened to K - I would be looking for another relationship. I am not a casual fuck type person. And I would be looking for someone who has the similar beliefs as me. I would not be willing to consider someone who doesn't. (Please note - I said SIMILAR.) That's cause I don't feel that a relationship can work if they don't have similar beliefs. *shrugs* I'm sure there are people who don't agree - I don't care. That's what I think.

 

[Netzach]

I will only interact in a D/s way with a conservative republican ready to demonstrate trickle-up economics, bigtime. If you're a pervert and you're willing to ignore the stench of institutionalized sexual repression I can like you, I can talk to you, but I will never for the life of me understand how ya do it.

 

[His_pita]

I want to be with my Dom forever, so I need us to have similar beliefs. My Dom is very much like me, but with just enough differences to keep things interesting and fun. Like I'm Protestant and he is Catholic. We’re sort of in the middle with politics, with me leaning a little more to the right and him a little more to the left. I love FOX news and he watches CNN. OK, that one did push my hard limit just a bit.

 

[FurryFury]

Yes, narrow mindedness bugs me. However putting a political party limit seems really stupid to me rather than narrow minded. No offense to anyone but there are things that are so much more important in a relationship to me. I really don't mind agreeing to disagree on something like that. Frankly I'm sick of the predominantly two party system we currently have here in the states. Each year the two parties blend more and more into each other and offer few choices I find acceptable.

She's not bad looking though. She kind of reminds me of my cousin who lives in LA.

But you know what REALLY bugs me, in a good way? Those hot things you write DVS!!!

That is one reason why I always check out your posts when I see your name.

Oh and even though I closed my account at Collarme I can see it! He he!

My husband btw, always voted the straight republican ticket. Until we got together that is. You might say I opened his eyes. On the surface we were very different about a LOT of important things. By getting to know one another and listen we found out we are far more alike than anyone would have guessed. I am not the type to try and change another person. I am the type to love them the way they are but I will communicate with them about what I believe and why. Sometimes they decide to change their views though I by no means demand it. Sometimes I do and sometimes we both just disagree.

Fury

 

[serijules]

Yes, narrowmindedness bugs me.

I don't think having a certain preference towards something is being narrowminded, unless you think that anyone that is opposite of you is obviously too stupid to associate with.

I'm not religious. I could never be closely involved with someone that was openly religious, because my views on religion are not very pleasant.

I have zero interest in politics. I know very little about it. I would not want to be involved with someone that gets all up in arms and pissy every time politics are discussed. It annoys the crap outta me.

Those things don't make me narrow minded. I don't think Catholics are horrible people whom I could never befriend. I just wouldn't want to be a part of their daily lives and have to deal with church and praying and all that stuff. It would make me unhappy, and them unhappy because I wouldn't have any desire to be a part of that part of their lives. Nothing they could do or say would change my views, nor would anything I do or say change theirs. Why waste the time? I think marrying/being with them anyhow and then complaining when nothing changes is more narrowminded than realizing and accepting your limits and preferences. Its like when people that know they are submissive and know they have no desire to live without D/s in their lives go out and marry complete and total vanillas, and then get upset when they have no outlet for their submission and end up cheating.

Not to say you have to be 100% compatible, but there are some things that are just very important to people and that will not be easily changed or easily adapted. Religion and Politics are biggies to many people. Others, not so much so.

Seems pretty logical to me *shrugs*

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip>First, this lady is a submissive. Obviously, just a sexual submissive, and not a social one. There's nothing wrong with that, but she is limiting her options so much, she might not find what (who) she is looking for in a Dom.

Okay, so it's not Hillary... but could easily be someone who works for her - therefore, the hard limit on Republicans...

 

[Xelebes]

Yes it does, but perhaps she is being wise in regards to politics if she is seeking something more than a temporary thing. I have been in relationships with men who did not share my political views, or worse, had no political view of their own, and it got frustrating and tiring over time whenever anything arose that involved politics and they either didn't care or tried to get me to change to their persuasion assuming because I was female I was incapable of knowing what I was thinking. Given I see politics in every facet of our lives, and unfortunately these days not great politics, it would drive me nuts to be sub to someone who had a complete opposite philosophy and perhaps expected me to adopt it also. Friends are OK for having opposing views, but not a permanent relationship in a D/s sense.

That being said, I do find a lot of people do not have realistic expectations when seeking another for a serious relationship. It amazes me when someone who has been looking unsuccessfully for a longtime insists on thinking they will still find someone living just around the corner and won't consider anyone who lives more than 30 minutes drive away, if that. Perhaps it comes from living all my life in Oz where to get almost anywhere you can expect to have to travel far and wide that I didn't ever hold onto the comfortable idea that the one for me was necessarily going to be local...kept an open mind on it, but didn't bank on it being a reality so opened my options to the world.

Then don't get me onto those multitude of profiles from subs who state they have NO limits, will do anything, then type a long list of things they won't do right down to the most miniscule such as change their hair style or try spanking etc., so by the time they finish all they really are willing to do is have sex, the way they like it and when they say it is OK, and on occasion act submissive as long as it does not require any of the things on their mile long list and they can say once agaqin when and what is OK. Just makes me wonder what they think submission is sometimes.

Catalina

You and I were just not meant to be. Shattup already!

 

[catalina_francisco]

You and I were just not meant to be. Shattup already!

LOL, I have a great way to deal with boys like you....does require a bit of lube, a latex glove on my hand, and a lot of groaning on thir part though!!

Catalina

 

[brioche]

Does narrow-mindedness bug you?

Yes.

Well, does it?

i said yes, dammit.

brioche (fully expecting a for this one. This is what happens when you wake up at 2 am and start posting)

 

[Private_Label]

Well, in this day and age, saying Liberal and Democrat is a bit redundant.

I'm a bit of Libertairian philosophy (I am not the rabid dog that some people are from this group - I agree with the basic pronciples though) who is currently voting democrat for a few reasons; who lives with an avowed republican (Well so was I until I went away to college - not that it makes a difference), and another who is republican but not as vocal. I love them both dearly and they love me, so what is the big deal with political preference. Shoot didn't two senators from across the aile get married? Just fodder for discussions.

Some of the things she mentions should be a given (children - really now!).

Shoot- it sounds as if she is a "Southern" gal living on the edge in California.

As much as she talks about her hard limits she really doesn't give enough of an insight into who she is outside of her Political leanings.

Given her likes - she won't need the ER for cardiac arrhymia; however, she might need it for abrasions or burns (wax play, floggers, buggy whips). Evidently she has never heard of aftercare. And if she is that worried about the ER/OR why is she looking to play at all? Sometimes just having plain vanilla sex can cause a heart attack in a succeptible person.

I say we find her a nice Libertairan with a big ol' six shooter he likes to play with. Or we introduce her to Marquis... No that wouldn't be fair to Marquis. Although he'd lawyer her into submission pretty fast I think.

DVS, maybe her hard limits come from her age - some women do not age gracefully, and I'm not talking about looks.

 

[FLButtSlut]

Her political views are obviously very important to her. She didn't say she won't talk (or play if she does that) with other political parties, just doesn't want long term involvement.

Personally, I don't strong enough feelings about politics to care one way or the other. I think it is all a load of crap.

I don't, however, see it as narrowmindedness. We all have a right, and an obligation to ourselves, to try and find someone we think we can be compatible with. She can't be compatible (at least she doesn't believe so) with a republican.

She actually posts quite a bit on the forum at CM and it appears that she is involved with someone anyway, so I don't really get that part at all.

Incidentally, she claims to have graduated from medical school, so that might have something to do with her hard limits regarding edge play and risky behavior.

 

[DVS]

LOL, I have a great way to deal with boys like you....does require a bit of lube, a latex glove on my hand, and a lot of groaning on thir part though!!

Catalina

To use a slangish phrase...it seems he's been thinking with his ass. And what you have mentioned in response could change his narrowminded attitude for him. Well, at least widen his perspective a little.

 

[Recidiva]

Something like "who's your favorite president?" OR "Who's your LEAST favorite president?"

Well, this could work. I mean, if you're going to tease this woman by asking her to admit she likes Bush it could just work.

But I'm pretty evil.

The narrow minded are just easy to mess with.

I don't mind them, without them I wouldn't have any fun at all and I wouldn't get to say the things I can't say to normal people I might respect

 

[DVS]

Yes.



i said yes, dammit.

brioche (fully expecting a for this one. This is what happens when you wake up at 2 am and start posting)

Are you putting words in my mouth? I've got something to put in yours. And, I think I'm going to pack it in there, too.

 

[Miss Trickery]

well everyone has their 'matches' - from vanilla to D/s - when it's not all about sex, people want their partners to fit a sort of standard that they have built up. I know people who weigh personal politics very heavily as if it were something like sexuality. For instance: A certain woman may not want to be with a man because he's bi - another woman may not want to be with a man because he's a republican.

Somewhat shallow to me, but to each, his/her own. People have the right to decide what is right for themselves... and pursue that - unless of course it's unlawful. I was in a relationship with a girl - where we connected on so many different levels. Sex was the best for both of us, we enjoyed each other's company more than any other person, we seemed to be the best for each other - but there were a few things (really little things - things I didn't think would be so important - like me wanting to be with her as often as I could?) In the end she distanced herself because of these little things that I would not have expected a person to forego everything else we had for.

It is a shame when someone who seems so right for you - ends up not realizing the same potential that you see. I suppose then you would have to try to put yourself in their shoes... but may never really understand why.

 

[DVS]

Well, in this day and age, saying Liberal and Democrat is a bit redundant.

I'm a bit of Libertairian philosophy (I am not the rabid dog that some people are from this group - I agree with the basic pronciples though) who is currently voting democrat for a few reasons; who lives with an avowed republican (Well so was I until I went away to college - not that it makes a difference), and another who is republican but not as vocal. I love them both dearly and they love me, so what is the big deal with political preference. Shoot didn't two senators from across the aile get married? Just fodder for discussions.

Some of the things she mentions should be a given (children - really now!).

Shoot- it sounds as if she is a "Southern" gal living on the edge in California.

As much as she talks about her hard limits she really doesn't give enough of an insight into who she is outside of her Political leanings.

Given her likes - she won't need the ER for cardiac arrhymia; however, she might need it for abrasions or burns (wax play, floggers, buggy whips). Evidently she has never heard of aftercare. And if she is that worried about the ER/OR why is she looking to play at all? Sometimes just having plain vanilla sex can cause a heart attack in a succeptible person.

I say we find her a nice Libertairan with a big ol' six shooter he likes to play with. Or we introduce her to Marquis... No that wouldn't be fair to Marquis. Although he'd lawyer her into submission pretty fast I think.

DVS, maybe her hard limits come from her age - some women do not age gracefully, and I'm not talking about looks.

Well, I don't understand it, either, but she does have her rights to do as she wants, as long as it's legal. And as far as I know, limiting your friends to one political party is perfectly legal.

Now, I know there are extremes on both sides of the fence. Maybe the republicans she has met have been on the edge? There are extreme liberals and extreme conservatives. Anyone with views to the extreme are not for me, either. Even extreme conservatives are scary. Those on the extreme go out of their way to bash anyone who doesn't agree with their views. Living with someone like that would get old VERY fast.

But, sensible people who disagree politically shouldn't have that much of a problem getting along. I know there are senators who go out socially with those of the other party. There ARE other things in the world to talk about, you know. I personally don't like talking politics that much. Maybe she should have requested someone who isn't on the extreme edge, instead of mentioning it in a blanket statement, like she did.

If she is a hard line liberal, I could see her in constant battle with a conservative with the same hard line feelings. But, it isn't unheard of to find couples with opposing political views finding other ways to share their time.

I think what she meant by mentioning the ER statement was breath play and/maybe knife play or cutting? But I do agree with you that vigous sex alone can wind you up in the ER, if not the morgue. I'm sure it's happened many times.

 

[Miss Trickery]

But I do agree with you that vigous sex alone can wind you up in the ER, if not the morgue. I'm sure it's happened many times.

I was going at it with my man once... having just had my 10th orgasm in that one session... then *blank*. When I came to, he was holding me, shaking me a little. Apparently I had passed out - it was so crazy intense I suppose my body and mind just gave out lol. So I was out for like 10 minutes and he was going to put my clothes back on and take me to the ER... it would have been hilarious to watch him tell the doctor, "I was fully f**king her like a high octane sex machine when she just passed out..."

Fun fun... but I would welcome that all over again... just disappointed that I wasn't able to stick around for more enjoyment lol. Cuz apparently he was still going at it after I went quite... i'm turned on...

...ok back to the regularly scheduled programming...

 

[DVS]

Her political views are obviously very important to her. She didn't say she won't talk (or play if she does that) with other political parties, just doesn't want long term involvement.

Oh no...she made republicans HARD limits. "Hard" limits are things (or people) don't want to be associated with...period. It she had said republicans were in her "soft" limits list, that might have been better.

Personally, I don't strong enough feelings about politics to care one way or the other. I think it is all a load of crap.

Now, if you partnered up with an extreme liberal or conservative, you opinion could change. You could hear so much policital gunk coming from one direction that you would soon prefer to go the other direction for some peace and quite.

I don't, however, see it as narrowmindedness. We all have a right, and an obligation to ourselves, to try and find someone we think we can be compatible with. She can't be compatible (at least she doesn't believe so) with a republican.

Very true, what you say, here. But, I see her choice of cutting certain people out of her available partners as narrowing her choice. I see that as either narrowminded thinking or even being conservative in her scope of suters.

But, I didn't want this thread to be narrowminded, either. I was wondering if there are other things someone might see as narrowminded, such as not liking native americans or blacks, perhaps. I guess some can be fine with certain races in other ways, as long as sex isn't involved.

My parents would see this as just the way things should be...blacks with blacks, whites with whites, etc. All races should stick with their own kind. The thought process behind that was to keep a people pure and strong. I don't see it that way, but my parent's generation did. I don't care what race my partner is, as long as we are compatible. Even long term, that is fine with me.

I wonder if women prefer men with a full head of hair or is a beard good or bad? I have no preference for hair color, although I do enjoy longer hair on a woman. But, it's not something I would ever call a limit.

i've never been sexual with anyone who has an artificial limb. I wonder how I would react? I'd hope it wouldn't bother me, but there are just some things you don't know until you are confronted with it. Blindness? Deafness? Scars from an accident? Just how narrowminded would we be...really?

She actually posts quite a bit on the forum at CM and it appears that she is involved with someone anyway, so I don't really get that part at all.

There seems to be a lot of people with profiles on Collarme that already have a partner. They say they are just wanting to talk to others with like interests, but I wonder. As for me, if and when I find someone, my profile will come down.

Incidentally, she claims to have graduated from medical school, so that might have something to do with her hard limits regarding edge play and risky behavior.

Yes, professionals who have seen it in their professional lives and maybe far too often do sometimes consider it too risky.

Just like I think police tend to be more aware of guns in the house, and keep them secure and mechanics harp more about changing the oil in the car, regularly. And my father was an optometrist and he would always tell us to turn on more light behind us, when we were reading or watching TV. He knew it was bad for our eyes. The professionals know the consequences of doing things incorrectly, and risky behavior is reckless.

But, I've also known a few nurses who were into more risky or rough play, too. And, I've known a few good Catholic girls who rebel against the church and get pretty damn kinky. So, I guess there are exceptions to everything.

I'm glad that I don't live too far from a Catholic college for girls.

 

[DVS]

Okay, so it's not Hillary... but could easily be someone who works for her - therefore, the hard limit on Republicans...

You know...having Hillary naked and tied up in my basement has a kinky little sexual urge behind it. I'm not set against liberals, but for some reason I would enjoy keeping her in her place...well, keeping her in MY place. I guess Bill isn't a Dom. Personally I see her as a Domme in government life, but not if she's in my basement.

 

[DVS]

I was going at it with my man once... having just had my 10th orgasm in that one session... then *blank*. When I came to, he was holding me, shaking me a little. Apparently I had passed out - it was so crazy intense I suppose my body and mind just gave out lol. So I was out for like 10 minutes and he was going to put my clothes back on and take me to the ER... it would have been hilarious to watch him tell the doctor, "I was fully f**king her like a high octane sex machine when she just passed out..."

Fun fun... but I would welcome that all over again... just disappointed that I wasn't able to stick around for more enjoyment lol. Cuz apparently he was still going at it after I went quite... i'm turned on...

...ok back to the regularly scheduled programming...

I guess he knew you were till breathing and thought to put your clothes back on you. He could have gone into a panic and just wrapped you up in a sheet and off to the ER you'd gone...rope burns and all.


Oh, by the way...10 orgasms? Jesus Christ! Sounds like he could give lessons. Care to elaborate?

 

[DVS]

My short answer to the initial question; Yes

I try to be as open minded & open hearted as possible in life. To me, tolerance is a sacred virtue.

Not just "putting up with differences" but having reverence for them... actually listening and being respectful of other points of view.

It sounds like a lot of work and it is; to be truthful I fall far short of that goal frequently, and while I certainly allow other people to have their own opinions, I often don't bother to listen, which I suppose is better than arguing with them.

I tend to be very argumentative by nature, part of how I was raised I suspect. I do try to supress it, but often times I find myself playing devil's advocate, arguing with someone with the mere hope of getting them to accept that a viewpoint other than their own is valid, whether or not it is right or agreed with.

One of my best friends is a Republican (whereas I hate politics in general, but can be described as a Libertarian who votes Democratic). I absolutely loathe talking politics, particularly with him, as he has a habit of turning political statements into personal attacks.

Last year he and had a rough spot in our friendship while my union was in negotiation for the new contract (Yep, I support unions, almost universaly, almost blindly... mostly because I won't be bothered to look up the specifics of every squabble between a union and a company, and also because I hate the social divide between the have-nots and the have-way-to-fucking-much's of the world.)

In anycase, he and I didn't talk for about four months after he told me that not only my union, but I personally was a parasite on the company that I worked for (oh and that if I didn't have a union, maybe I'd get the time off I'd requested and recieve better pay and benefits).

I have since made the observation that although tolerance may be a sacred virtue in my life, I myself have very little of it at times.

I'm not particularly narrow minded.... just lazy, but I am a hypocrit (and I hate Hypocrits)

A very honest post and I think we all have many of these feelings. How we deal with what we experience is key. Doing the right thing maybe isn't always the right thing.

 

[DVS]

Well, this could work. I mean, if you're going to tease this woman by asking her to admit she likes Bush it could just work.

But I'm pretty evil.

The narrow minded are just easy to mess with.

I don't mind them, without them I wouldn't have any fun at all and I wouldn't get to say the things I can't say to normal people I might respect

You sound like you think a lot like me. I can be pretty evil, too. I enjoy a woman with a strong opinion, because she's more fun to control. She fights me, she struggles and swears I won't break her. I love tormenting her mind because she has one. I enjoy telling her my plans because she is more likely to fight and complain that much more.

But, in the end, she is mine and while we are nothing but two sweaty bodies trying to catch our breath, I think she is glad that I won the battle.