Does it mean I'm "Bi"?

[mary102938]

I am married and have never had a physical relationship with another woman. However, after reading some threads on Lit, I have acctually found myself a little excited thinking about another woman teaching me some things in the sexual realm. Does that mean that I am "Bi"?

 

[bw08641]

Maybe you are "Bi-curious"? Is it something you fantasize about or have just been thinking about out of curiosity?

 

[blklthrjkt]

Why put a label on it?

 

[spreadwide]

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't EVER consider leaving my husband for ANYONE, but that doesn't mean I can't fantasize about other women playing with me and maybe even have a physical play time with them.

 

[emap]

Mary it means you are alive.

Everybody has thoughts about things they have never done. Do you think about parachuting? Do you think about jumping off of a bridge with one of those cords? Men almost always think about having sex with another man, if they would or not being a seperate subject. I say almost because some people male and female have no interest in sex.

Thinking about being with another woman is normal and healthy, bring it up with your husband, can make for interesting roleplaying while doing oral sex on you.

 

[human_male]

I agree with the don't put a label on it, don't worry about it, enjoy it and don't cheat philosophy.

 

[Etoile]

emap, your answers are always so awesome.

 

[emap]

Actually just in here, usually I don't finish my thought or statement well. I like to leave gaps and see who the total moron is. Not to mention almost anytime I actually put everything in too other sections I have posted in, nobody says anything else which is boring.

Helps that you are a gorgeous gal.

Mostly I do full thoughts in here because this is a rather serious subject and toying with people bearing their soul is mean and nasty and usually I don't like doing that. Not to say I don't have humor in my posts anyway.

 

[mary102938]

Thank you!

You guys have such great responses! I appreciate your help and support. It really helps to have people tell you their thoughts when you are not really sure if what you're feeling is normal or not. Then again...what's normal. right?

 

[da_bombdiggidy]

What is next???

Hey Mary, just curious on a funny side of life, what if we did confirm it? I could just imagine a doctor on this board saying, "According to our litmus test, you have score a 100% as bisexual! Congratulations, your bi."

What would you do next? Move out of the straight neighborhood. Put funny rainbow stickers on your car. Would you do a dance like this banana? Would all your sisters or women in your family need to start wearing a lead apron when you came over in case your gay-dar started acting up?

Serious, this board can't give you permission to start seeing women. I don't know if anyone here would even come close to be qualified to diagnose someone sexual preference.

Emap's point is just so dead on. IMO, I think you really need to figure out what you like. Just because you like to read it, doesn't mean you would do it. Here is some interesting questions but again isn't going to prove anything. Have you ever viewed lesbian porn? How does that make you feel? Do you just watch or do you fantasize it happening to you? Do you like just f/f scenes or do you like groups scenes.

You don't have to answer these questions here, although inquiring minds do want to know. LOL

 

[mary102938]

Well, I have not watched any lesbian porn or anything like that, but I guess I have been very curious lately and even at night while lying in bed, I think about different scenerios or maybe they are fantasies, I don't know. Some include bondage, like a woman breaks into my home and ties me to the bed and forces me to kiss her breasts and suck them, etc. Maybe I think about the forced fantasies because I feel that gives me an 'excuse' in my mind to do it...because I had no choice. Does this make ANY sense? LOL

 

[spreadwide]

Well, I have not watched any lesbian porn or anything like that, but I guess I have been very curious lately and even at night while lying in bed, I think about different scenerios or maybe they are fantasies, I don't know. Some include bondage, like a woman breaks into my home and ties me to the bed and forces me to kiss her breasts and suck them, etc. Maybe I think about the forced fantasies because I feel that gives me an 'excuse' in my mind to do it...because I had no choice. Does this make ANY sense? LOL

That is how it started with me. I fantasized about it, first, then a friend of mine let me talk to her about it and we eventually played around some, though nothing serious enough to affect my marriage or anything.

 

[CoupleFromOhio]

I am bisexual too however.............

If you want to know what label this is? This is called "latent bisexual" which means one am completely straight in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it. I truly believe that there are more "latent bisexuals". Welcome to my world of bisexual. There is no simple definition of bisexuality, and bisexual people are a very diverse group.

 

[emap]

If you want a label then latent bisexual is a fitting one I suppose. Just keep in mind, everyone fantasizes about having a sexual relationship with a same sex partner. Not uncommon to fantasize about alien sexual encounters either.

I have fantasies about being a guy sleeping with a guy, or woman. Doesn't mean I am actually a guy in a woman's body who is gay, I just have fantasies. The human mind does not have a sexuality, it is not male or female it is simply that, a mind, it goes on flights of fancy when you are tired, bored, asleep, horny, hungry, and anything I happen to have missed.

The problems and labels only come when you start talking to people about it and thinking it makes you something. It only means you are alive.

If you say were sitting in session with Freud he would probably tell you you have a problem with your mother, or rather an unresolved issue. Of course probably not really but well Freud rather did have issues of his own.

That is my whole point though, people are way to eager to apply a label to everything shut it up in a cubbyhole and forget about it. Best to not even worry about it and enjoy it when comes up in your flights of fantasy again.

Of course if you find yourself attracted to women and wanting to chase them down and ask them out on a date, then you sorta need a label. If you don't get a label then people get mad because they want to know if you want to be with another woman for life or just flings.

 

[lynnh]

Very Normal

Like you Mary I have had found the stories of f-f on Literotica very hot and there is nothing unusual about that. I have watched porn with husband and get turned on with the girl girl scenes. I think in America we are all way too uptight and it is the government and society both that DO NOT WANT US TO BE FREE, whether sexually or otherwise. They want us to all be off balance and be good little consumers.

Feel whatever you feel and do watch some GOOD erotic films I recommend EUROPEAN above American.

Good thing you brought this topic up you are NOT alone.

 

[SamFrench]

Mary it means you are alive.

Everybody has thoughts about things they have never done. Do you think about parachuting? Do you think about jumping off of a bridge with one of those cords? Men almost always think about having sex with another man, if they would or not being a seperate subject. I say almost because some people male and female have no interest in sex.

Thinking about being with another woman is normal and healthy, bring it up with your husband, can make for interesting roleplaying while doing oral sex on you.

if i can add a man's perspective. my wife hid her feelings for a while until i found the true object of her desires (other than me, lol) a coworker. seeing them together was very hot. we had another experience and it was even more intense. the other woman looked like Andi McDowell and i know my wife was really smitten with her. speaking for myself only, i'm glad i was able to be there when she let herself explore those fantasies. i'm secure enough in our relationship that i'm not worried about ending up like Mr. Gellar on Friends (remember Ross' first wife?).

and forget the labels. even if you did use the label "bi", would it make you more or less of a person? it's all good as long as no one gets hurt.

 

[mary102938]

I see what you mean by the "labels." I guess I was asking if only bi-sexual's have these types of thoughts or fantasies. I don't think I could handle seeing my husband with someone else, but I wouldn't be upset if I found out he had other fantasies because I do feel that is normal. I have been thinking more about exploring a fantasy with another woman online, first, and see how that goes.

 

[spreadwide]

I have been thinking more about exploring a fantasy with another woman online, first, and see how that goes.

Way to go, Mary!!! Follow your heart and see where it takes you. Again, it's not like you have to choose between your husband and another woman. You are simply fulfilling a fantasy for you. In fact, it just might make your love-making with your husband that much more exciting. So, what type of fantasy are you considering online? If you don't mind me asking?

 

[mary102938]

So, what type of fantasy are you considering online? If you don't mind me asking?

Well, this might not be possible, but I might be interested in letting another woman Dominate me via emails. I would NOT be interested in doing this with a man. But it would need to be a woman that could be patient and bring me along slowly at first, until I got my feet wet so to speak. I kind of fantasize where a woman would email me things to do that would slowly bring me out more and more in a sexual way. NOTE: I will NOT be sending any pics so don't ask. But if someone is interested, I suppose they could PM me and we will see.

 

[spreadwide]

I do not see why it would not be possible. I have heard of people doing that. Like you said, though, you need to lay down some ground rules for yourself so you can go at your own pace and really open up to who you really are or want to be. Don't let anyone push you, but at the same time, you need to learn to expand your boundaries as far as you feel comfortable.

 

[mary102938]

I am nervous about it, but I figure I might as well see how far it goes and enjoy the ride, right?

 

[misshum]

Sweetie, if I were not so busy with other things right now, I would be interested. We could have fun together but I would bring you along slowly. Hope you find someone!

 

[SamFrench]

I do not see why it would not be possible. I have heard of people doing that. Like you said, though, you need to lay down some ground rules for yourself so you can go at your own pace and really open up to who you really are or want to be. Don't let anyone push you, but at the same time, you need to learn to expand your boundaries as far as you feel comfortable.

words of wisdom. the biggest risk i see people taking is thinking that the online stuff is real and getting swept up by it. if you get too deep or serious, just take a break. the nice thing about doing it online is that you don't have to face that person at work over the coffee pot or in a staff meeting. you can go as far as you like and at the end of the night you can shut down your computer and go take out your arousal and lucky hubby, with no risk or recriminations. feel free to ask anything from a man's perspective, and i'm sure Spreadwide will be more than happy to give you the woman's view. we're all friends here. if your hubby is open to talking about it, i would include him on it as much as possible. it'll give you a shoulder to lean on. and who knows, he may be having the same thoughts, wanting to see you explore that part of your sexuality. i know i did and still do.

 

[SamFrench]

Sweetie, if I were not so busy with other things right now, I would be interested. We could have fun together but I would bring you along slowly. Hope you find someone!

since i'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, ummm, would i do? just kidding. couldn't resist.

one more thing, you'd be surprised how few husbands use the bi curious thing to get in bed with another woman. if he truly loves you like i suspect from your comments, he just wants to see you happy and fulfilled. i didn't sleep with either of the women my wife played with. it just made me want her all the more, seeing her so fully aroused. the sex with her afterwards was more incredible than i thought possible.

 

[mary102938]

Thanks, Sam and Spreadwide. I appreciate your help and advice. Trust me, I am so new at this and nervous, that I plan to take it easy. But it is a little exciting....maybe even erotic!