Does it last forever?

[Kajira Callista]

Something im interested in finding out more about is how long the average D/s or M/s relationship lasts. It is not very often that I have heard the happily ever after story in this lifestyle, so i was wondering how many ppl here know ppl or have met ppl in a permanent long standing Ds or M/s relationship. All personal opinions are welcome here as i see it as a way to sort things and come up ith my own answer to satisfy my curiosity about this.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Though I think there is the potential for the BDSM relationship to last successfully in the vanilla sense possibly more so than the average vanilla type, I think like all realtionships it cannot be defined as a guarantee one way or another for either vanilla or BDSM. I have heard of many BDSM relationships which have passed the 10 year figure, some 20, and some longer, some from posters here who are in long term commitments.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

Well that sounds hopeful..thank you catalina

 

[bunny bondage]

nothing lasts forever

 

[Justina123]

Ditto what catalina said- I know couples who have been together all varying lengths of time. Some have had a D/s or bdsm aspect to their lives all along, some "discovered" it together after many years of marriage, etc. Then there are the "newbies" like Sir and I...we talk in terms of retirement plans, being sure our estate planning is done together, etc. etc... and how the home decor will change radically, in at least one room, once the last child is on his own!

- justina

 

[Rantalith]

The longest D/s relationship I was in was for a little over 10 years.
It ended due to her parents failing health and she had to move to be with them. I could not relocate to be with her.

 

[willowthwisp]

nothing lasts forever

Nothing, as it is, lasts forever. We're supposed to be in a constant state of change, hopefully in a good way, growing, evolving. Those changes can happen within a relationship, BDSM and all. Its the ones that can't withstand the growing that seem to come to an end, no matter how 'committed'.

 

[James G 5]

What, as opposed to 'nilla relationships that hardly ever last for long?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Nothing, as it is, lasts forever. We're supposed to be in a constant state of change, hopefully in a good way, growing, evolving. Those changes can happen within a relationship, BDSM and all. Its the ones that can't withstand the growing that seem to come to an end, no matter how 'committed'.

I love the way you have said this which is so true and yet missed by many who have lived through a failed relationship. It takes work to survive the changes but is worth the sweat and time to make the effort.

Catalina

 

[Master_Wiccanman]

I love the way you have said this which is so true and yet missed by many who have lived through a failed relationship. It takes work to survive the changes but is worth the sweat and time to make the effort.

Catalina

That which doesn't kill us...makes us stronger.....
I have lived through failed relationships and abuse... I am a survivor.....and Yes , it is worth all the blood sweat and tears to eventually come out the other end of the tunnel and scream " I am Alive"....

 

[D's mariposa]

The longest bdsm relationship I have seen is (doing the math here...) is 16 years. They started dating when we were all in college, married the year we graduated, and are still together now.

Now that's in a traditional sense. One other thing that I've noticed is that when we break up, we still tend to be friends. Perhaps its because of all the communications skills we learn in this lifestyle. Sometimes it's just a courtesy thing. BDSM communities seem to be small and when two (or more ) people break up in a small community like this and none of them want to leave, they learn to live together. But frequently, even when people are no longer lovers they still managed to remain friends.

note, the above was written without the benefit of coffee. If any clarification is needed please be kind!

 

[Kajira Callista]

I've noticed that also. You will forever be bonded someway i suppose. And i dont see too many ending in anger or with two ppl disliking each other, which is nice. Thanks everyone, for your input. I think the answer i got was, with two ppl willing to work hard and change together... it can last a long time.

 

[James G 5]

I've noticed that also. You will forever be bonded someway i suppose. And i dont see too many ending in anger or with two ppl disliking each other, which is nice. Thanks everyone, for your input. I think the answer i got was, with two ppl willing to work hard and change together... it can last a long time.

But again, that's true for ANY relationship

 

[Kajira Callista]

I kinda think that M/s is a deep bond, deeper then any other. You become connected in a way that most ppl dont in other relationships. And thats just my opinion.

 

[James G 5]

I kinda think that M/s is a deep bond, deeper then any other. You become connected in a way that most ppl dont in other relationships. And thats just my opinion.

I was refering specifically to this cooment

I think the answer i got was, with two ppl willing to work hard and change together... it can last a long time

Not saying some relationships couldn't be deeper or stronger than others

 

[Kajira Callista]

OH hehe...well yeah thats true, but it doesnt seem that ppl are often willing to work at things and change together. I guess what im saying is ppl find it easier to move on then to stay and actually work at making it work, something i dont understand all to well but suppose i will have to learn to accept.

 

[spankableBelle]

OH hehe...well yeah thats true, but it doesnt seem that ppl are often willing to work at things and change together. I guess what im saying is ppl find it easier to move on then to stay and actually work at making it work, something i dont understand all to well but suppose i will have to learn to accept.

How long is long enough to stay and work at making it work? Or how long is not long enough?

Just my own curious question i suppose to the 'ppl find it easier to move on then to stay and actually work at making it work...' comment...


belle

 

[Kajira Callista]

I dont know belle....im trying to figure that out too.

 

[Georgia Girl]

If your partner speaks to your soul

If you can't imagine them not being a part of your life

If the first thing you think of when something significant happens is telling them


These and a million other reasons are ones that say "stay and figure out what the problem is". Communication is so vital in any relationship but especially in one that includes power exchange.

 

[Kajira Callista]

What if someone is all those things to you. But you aren't sure you are all those things to them?

 

[ethereal~minx]

QUOTE]Originally posted by Kajira Callista
What if someone is all those things to you. But you aren't sure you are all those things to them? [/QUOTE]


don't worry about tomorrows and enjoy the present..***** has a funny way of working out (synchronicity) when you let go and live the joys of today. *smiles* and that goes for both sides...

boy~ this is a tough lesson for me~ to stop focusing on an outcome~to stop living in the tomorrow in your head~~
false expectations appearing real~~ we have no idea how things will turn out

 

[cellis]

There are no guarantees. There is just now. I try to live each day as if it is all I have with Himself. I don't know when it will end, but it will eventually because of things beyond both our control.

I would make myself more crazy than I already do now, worrying about how long we have. It makes me too sad to think of it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

There are no guarantees. There is just now. I try to live each day as if it is all I have with Himself. I don't know when it will end, but it will eventually because of things beyond both our control.

I would make myself more crazy than I already do now, worrying about how long we have. It makes me too sad to think of it.

Along this thought path I found a beautiful quote last week from an unknown clever and wise person:

The past is history
The future is a mystery
But right now is a gift
Which is why it's called the present.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

Along this thought path I found a beautiful quote last week from an unknown clever and wise person:

The past is history
The future is a mystery
But right now is a gift
Which is why it's called the present.

Catalina

He stole it from Buddha and then did his own paraphrasing:

Yesterday is a memory
Tomorrow is a fantasy
Today is reality.

But it is a nice thought. And pretty hard to learn to live in this moment.

 

[DVS]

I kinda think that M/s is a deep bond, deeper then any other. You become connected in a way that most ppl dont in other relationships. And thats just my opinion.

I noticed you mention a gag in the text under your AV. Gags interest me. Women, bound with gags stuffed in their mouths interest me, too.

Yes, I'm kinky, but aren't we all? It's sometimes difficult to find someone who likes what you like. And, I feel the closer the two are in their kinky selves, the more of a lasting bond they have together.