Does it ever scare you to open yourself up to someone?

[Mia62]

I mean...open totally...all your inner thoughts and mechanics of how you work?

When was the last time you let yourself be totally open to someone else? Are you still close to that person? If you don't allow yourself to open up...what is it that stops you?

 

[modest mouse]

Its apparent that your new ID didnt come with a coupon for Brain Booster.

 

[His_kitty]

Yes, which is why I rarely do it.


The last time, and only full time I ever have was 2 years ago and we are still close and speak often.

What stops me are the barrier's of self protection I've built up through the years.

 

[st4nton]

I mean...open totally...all your inner thoughts and mechanics of how you work?

When was the last time you let yourself be totally open to someone else? Are you still close to that person? If you don't allow yourself to open up...what is it that stops you?

uh, yeah

i think everyone has this problem at some point.. its just a matter of how you choose to go from there.

 

[Mia62]

Its apparent that your new ID didnt come with a coupon for Brain Booster.

That's ok, dearest, we all know you ongoing ID never had Brain Boosters. I forgive you.

 

[Freya]

I rarely do. When I feel as if someone is probing too hard into things I'd rather keep buried, I literally shake. I can't speak, I get clammy and sweaty, and I tremble. I have never opened up to anyone 100% and doubt I ever will. The person in my life I have opened up to most, is my best friend, who is the least judgemental person I know, and she doesn't know 40% of what I've done and had done to me.

Some days I wish I could. I wish I could find that one person who I trust more than any other, and just let the poison spew, but I can't see it ever happening, and so it'll continue to eat me away from the inside until it kills me one day.

 

[roxanne69]

I rarely do. When I feel as if someone is probing too hard into things I'd rather keep buried, I literally shake. I can't speak, I get clammy and sweaty, and I tremble. I have never opened up to anyone 100% and doubt I ever will. The person in my life I have opened up to most, is my best friend, who is the least judgemental person I know, and she doesn't know 40% of what I've done and had done to me.

Some days I wish I could. I wish I could find that one person who I trust more than any other, and just let the poison spew, but I can't see it ever happening, and so it'll continue to eat me away from the inside until it kills me one day.

Freya you need a hug (((((((Freya)))))))))))))

 

[Mia62]

That's what I mean, Freya. Why let it eat you up? My best friend knows absolutely everything about me...and she still would like me to be the godmother of her baby. I am just in a very contemplative mood these days...thinking out loud, I guess.

 

[Cherry]

It feels like some vitriol is called for. Now I must prowl for a victim or resort to maiming a small animal.

Decisons, decisions.

Its apparent that your new ID didnt come with a coupon for Brain Booster.

Well, looks like the mice are safe tonight.



As for the question ...

I've found the trust in love finally to show all there is of me (warts and all). It was a long time coming and a relief when he loved me just the same.

 

[Ice Cold]

To quote Kramer from Seinfeld, "It's all about levels."


I'll open up, but a little bit each time... see how it progressess, and if I feel comfortable a little more... if not... that is a far as it ever goes... the most so far probably was 50 %.

 

[Freya]

That's what I mean, Freya. Why let it eat you up? My best friend knows absolutely everything about me...and she still would like me to be the godmother of her baby. I am just in a very contemplative mood these days...thinking out loud, I guess.

Because I can't. Literally. It won't come out. And mine trails through my entire life - so the years of practice of keeping it buried, work against that too. And it just builds up higher and higher every year that passes. I'd love to think that one day I'll fall in love, and be able to let go, but I'm really not that optimistic. I don't believe I'm capable of love, so I don't see myself ever having that chance.



Thanks Rox - back'atcha!

 

[427cobra]

I mean...open totally...all your inner thoughts and mechanics of how you work?

When was the last time you let yourself be totally open to someone else? Are you still close to that person? If you don't allow yourself to open up...what is it that stops you?

Opening up is a risk to be sure, but the potential profits from it more than outweigh the pitfalls. It's been a while since I've let anybody in, mainly becuase I'm not interested in having anybody close right now. I prefer my own company and privacy for the time being. Without risk there can be no reward, so go for it I say!

 

[Mia62]

I don't believe I'm capable of love, so I don't see myself ever having that chance.

See, now this is where I have hope for you. Someone has to.

 

[Jewelz]

I have always been too open and honest and trusting. I have let people in and get close to me more than I should have. I don't think that will happen much at all any more. I have built walls and there are only a select few that are on the inside of that wall and close to my heart. They are only there because I know they will protect it and not splinter it.

 

[Lost Cause]

Not really......

If I'm in a viable relationship, I see no reason to hold back anything. I'm comfortable with me, and if someone else makes a judgment on what I say or do, that's their problem. What is in my past, is my past, not theirs. My last GF knows all there is to know about me. Just like my past wives and GFs, we are all friends, more like brother & sister friendships.

 

[cybergirly]

I think everyone has to have things that are just thiers, things that they would never share with anyone. Does that mean I don't open up? No, I'm very open about 97% of who and what I am. But some things are MINE rather they be good or bad doesn't matter, it's those things that make me who I am.

 

[Kitte]

I had decided I was never going to open up to anyone again. I worked very hard to remove my walls and it turned very ugly. But...I decided since they were down. I might as well take a chance. I have let new friends into my life. I have let old friends see parts of me I never did before.

Letting people see the real you is scary, but I have learned all I am is me...I cant be something else....because then I am not being honest. So it hurts sometimes...ALOT.... but as Henry Rollins says.....

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

Sure, hence its never happening.

 

[Cherry]

You know, sometimes Freya ...

The very most horrible things that we cannot admit, and we fear that nobody else in the world would ever comprehend or shudder at the thought of hearing, are things that others would embrace you for.

We can be our own worst critic.

I can remember once, a very dear friend crying that a terrible secret would come out during her divorce proceedings ... she cried because she thought that it would make me hate her.

Unconditionally, I told her ... "There is nothing that could ever make me love you less. I don't care what it is. Tell me and get it off your chest."

When she did, I hugged her tight and whispered, "There, that wasn't so bad, was it? And, I still love you."

I would guess that someone who loves you would feel the same way about your nightmares.

 

[modest mouse]

That's ok, dearest, we all know you ongoing ID never had Brain Boosters. I forgive you.

This comeback is agaisnt teh grain of the premise and therefore almsot as lame as my juvenile swipe at you.

 

[Freya]

See, now this is where I have hope for you. Someone has to.

Thanks hun. I know I'm capable of love - as I love people in my life. I just don't think I'm capable of sustaining a love relationship with a man. I don't trust, dont' open up, and don't believe - in myself or others.

I'd like to think it'll change one day, but I'm 33 now and haven't ever been awfully close to it - and whenever I have opened my mind to the potential of it, it's been kicked back to reality pretty quickly.

 

[Lost Cause]

Hold back what you feel you need to....

Just as long as it doesn't turn chronic......

Most are forever trapped by ill memories, denying themselves present happiness, as well as future contentment.

Some memories bring back the fragrance of a long ago love, or a Grandmother's afternoon of baking.

Memories are what we make them, regarded as an ancient fable, or a weapon of pain against a transgressor.

Be a good steward of your memories, as not another set exists in the entire universe, try and nurture the good, and parole the bad.

Never let your present be clouded at the same time by the past, a memory that denies you the pleasure of now.

 

[Freya]

You know, sometimes Freya ...

The very most horrible things that we cannot admit, and we fear that nobody else in the world would ever comprehend or shudder at the thought of hearing, are things that others would embrace you for.

We can be our own worst critic.

I can remember once, a very dear friend crying that a terrible secret would come out during her divorce proceedings ... she cried because she thought that it would make me hate her.

Unconditionally, I told her ... "There is nothing that could ever make me love you less. I don't care what it is. Tell me and get it off your chest."

When she did, I hugged her tight and whispered, "There, that wasn't so bad, was it? And, I still love you."

I would guess that someone who loves you would feel the same way about your nightmares.

My best friend - maybe. But she knows enough about me for now. The rest is a simmering seed of poison, and it's permanently wedged somewhere deep down, where I'm not even sure I can get at it if I wanted to. And to be honest - if I hate myself so much for what's contained in that, I can't seriously expect that a man won't feel the same. And I don't think I'm capable of having the kind of trust required for someone to prove me wrong.

 

[Captain Howdy]

it's kinda like on a need to know thing. not every1 will ever understand where i have been or where i am comeing from. so its all like a puzzel, every1 hase a piece, very few have all the pieces. but i know there are a few that have all the pieces to make a clear picture. those people i call true friends.

 

[Mia62]

I don't trust, dont' open up, and don't believe - in myself or others.

That is the part that will change if you let it.