Does anyone know what's going on here?

[gauchecritic]

Still writing my Valentines effort, yes I know the deadline is today, but I need some one to read this part and tell me if it needs more explanation. Do you have to work too hard to work out what's going on or will you just backclick?

On leaving the café to return to Mr. Schwenkel’s the feeling of dread that Ollie was expecting failed to materialise. She realised too that she hadn’t followed her normal ritual of smoking at least two cigarettes with her mug of tea.

Maybe I don’t need to do this. As she reached for the packet of cigarettes in her breast pocket she thought Maybe I need to do this as much as everybody says.

Sam and Judy both watched with admiration, Ollie’s almost languorous stride as she strolled across the road towards ‘Killswitch’s’ .

“Now why d’you think a girl like that needs the services of Killswitch?” Sam asked no one in particular. “Ah.” He observed “The weed. The curse of the catering industry.”

Judy forced her attention from the sight of snakeskin boots disappearing into the consulting rooms across the road and asked “Do you smoke Sam?”

“Not a chance honey. Had my killswitch fitted eight years ago, haven’t used it for four.”

Wistfully, Judy whispered “I wish I didn’t have to use mine.”

 

[Guest]

Without the rest of the story to give it context, it's hard to say for certain, but I think I get the gist of the story from that part. There is nothing overly confusing about the passage itself.

 

[sincerely_helene]

A few punctuation problems, but nothing that can't be easily looked after.

 

[shereads]

The cafe, Mr. Schwenkels, killswitch...There's a bit of confusion with places and Ollie's comings-and-goings. I did have to read through twice, before I understood that Schwenkels' is where she's going to get the killswitch.

On the other hand, being warned in advance that something might not be clearly understood makes me expect to be misdirected. Probably not a problem with a normal reading.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I think it's plenty self-explanatory. The only thing that tripped me up was the dialogue, "Ah, the weed. The curse of the catering industry."

 

[neonlyte]

Still writing my Valentines effort, yes I know the deadline is today, but I need some one to read this part and tell me if it needs more explanation. Do you have to work too hard to work out what's going on or will you just backclick?

On leaving the caf� to return to Mr. Schwenkel�s the feeling of dread that Ollie was expecting failed to materialise. She realised too that she hadn�t followed her normal ritual of smoking at least two cigarettes with her mug of tea.

Maybe I don�t need to do this. As she reached for the packet of cigarettes in her breast pocket she thought Maybe I need to do this as much as everybody says.

Sam and Judy both watched with admiration, Ollie�s almost languorous stride as she strolled across the road towards �Killswitch�s� .

�Now why d�you think a girl like that needs the services of Killswitch?� Sam asked no one in particular. �Ah.� He observed �The weed. The curse of the catering industry.�

Judy forced her attention from the sight of snakeskin boots disappearing into the consulting rooms across the road and asked �Do you smoke Sam?�

�Not a chance honey. Had my killswitch fitted eight years ago, haven�t used it for four.�

Wistfully, Judy whispered �I wish I didn�t have to use mine.�

Had to read it twice Gauche, some bits more. Not helped by wierd formatting, ? marks scattered through it, and overlapping text, don't know if that's Lit's problem or mine. I can only actually read it using 'quote'.

Get most except the Catering Industry reference.

Don't know if that helps.

w

 

[Liar]

Re: Re: Does anyone know what's going on here?

Had to read it twice Gauche, some bits more. Not helped by wierd formatting, ? marks scattered through it, and overlapping text, don't know if that's Lit's problem or mine. I can only actually read it using 'quote'.

Formatting looks fine to me. Must be a charset icompatibility with Neon's puter.

I didn't find the passage in itself confusing, but the context better give a few explanations.

#L

 

[carsonshepherd]

It's the first sentence that gives me trouble. I just think it could be clearer somehow.

 

[gauchecritic]

Never had replies this fast. Thankyou very much everybody. It is linked very much with the rest of the story and gets revealed in bits throughout.

Neon, I think the problem is your machine (keyboard?) your apostrophes come out: �s. I noticed in other posts that your quote marks are replaced with copyright signs amongst other things.

So no backclicking then?

"the weed" it seems is a parochial expression for tobacco "the curse of the catering industy" is an expression which that character would use (smoking in the kitchen)

Thank you all.

 

[gauchecritic]

The passage is part-way in to the story Carson and the first line is (hopefully) referencing what has gone before. Thanks

Edited to add: I think that answers your query too Liar. Ta.

 

[carsonshepherd]

The passage is part-way in to the story Carson and the first line is (hopefully) referencing what has gone before. Thanks

That makes much more sense then....

 

[Guest]

Thank you all.

Te nada.

Perdita

 

[neonlyte]

Neon, I think the problem is your machine (keyboard?) your apostrophes come out: �s. I noticed in other posts that your quote marks are replaced with copyright signs amongst other things.

Thank s for the tip. I ll look into it. Surprised no one has mentioned it before. Slightly odd it s only your formatted text that contains confusion.

Best

 

[shereads]

Never had replies this fast. Thankyou very much everybody. It is linked very much with the rest of the story and gets revealed in bits throughout.

Neon, I think the problem is your machine (keyboard?) your apostrophes come out: ï¿1/2s. I noticed in other posts that your quote marks are replaced with copyright signs amongst other things.

So no backclicking then?

"the weed" it seems is a parochial expression for tobacco "the curse of the catering industy" is an expression which that character would use (smoking in the kitchen)

Thank you all.

Over here "weed" is more often pot.

 

[shereads]

Tobacco is a dirty weed.
I like it.
It satisfies no normal need.
I like it.
It makes you sick, it makes you lean
It takes the hair right off your bean
It is a dirty, dirty weed.
I like it.

~ author unknown

 

[minsue]

Over here "weed" is more often pot.

Yup, that was the only part that threw me.

I'm itching to read the rest now, Gauche.

 

[gauchecritic]

You'd best start scratching now, it's about a quarter through and they haven't had a date yet.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

You'd best start scratching now, it's about a quarter through and they haven't had a date yet.

LOL

Is the date crucial to the plot?

Good luck, gauche.