I recommend ExciteChat. I'm completely hooked on it. I love the avatars and there are thousands of rooms that are just normal people having normal conversations, without all the cyber bullshit.
I've become more addicted to it, than I was to Lit.
I was seriously addicted (from one perspective)
or
immensely taken with (from another)
this place for a couple years. There are BDSM rooms here, of course, but there are many other kinds of rooms, too, G and PG and just plain R rated ones.
It's a pay site, but that keeps out the kind of riffraff you get in free places like IRC (where i've also called a couple channels home over the years).