Does Anybody Besides Me Think This Is Kind of Appalling?

[SlickTony]

I am in the process of reading this article in the New York Times. Now, I know that most of us are here for the purpose of either reading or writing erotic fiction, but give this article a read. Does it seem very erotic to you? It sounds hellish. If it's true, I wouldn't be a teen in today's culture for all the gold in Acapulco. It seems worse now than it did then.

Now would be a good time for young people to sit out the whole so-called teen scene, (somehow) get hold of some good toys, and, I don't know, get involved in politics, or be thinking about one's future career and how to make a boatload of money until whatever the fuck is going on now blows over.

I wouldn't want to return to the days of my youth, when a lot of girls were too hung up to even touch themselves, but really, is this scene what we'd want for our kids?

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/30/magazine/30NONDATING.html?pagewanted=1&th

 

[Colleen Thomas]

No, you aren't alone in being appalled. I wonder sometimes if the disparity I see between my childhood and children coming up today is the same as my mom saw between her childhood & mine.

-Colly

 

[Liar]

Hmm. Really. I read the article, and I still can't seem to understand what the horror was about.

It seems like the author is chocked over that kids today have a different social structure than in the...50's? What I can say is that what I read doesn't sound an ounce different than how kids in ages 14 to 17's have behaved for as long as I have any kind of reference. The 00's looks just like the 90's that looks just like the 80's and the 70's when it comes to how youth clumsily and staggering try out their newfound sexuality.

The big focus on the article seemed to be "dating" versus "hooking up". When I was in that age, 15 years ago, noone in the crircle of more social animals (the same in-crowd that the kids in the article appears to be) ever went on any regular dates. They met, hung out, fooled around, became an item - or not, fooled around some more, got bored and repeated the cycle. Sounds pretty much like what I read there. Plus Internet access. We all grew up to become productive, responsible and sensible adults.

What's the big deal? Did I miss the point?

#L

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Hmm. Really. I read the article, and I still can't seem to understand what the horror was about.

It seems like the author is chocked over that kids today have a different social structure than in the...50's? What I can say is that what I read doesn't sound an ounce different than how kids in ages 14 to 17's have behaved for as long as I have any kind of reference. The 00's looks just like the 90's that looks just like the 80's and the 70's when it comes to how youth clumsily and staggering try out their newfound sexuality.

The big focus on the article seemed to be "dating" versus "hooking up". When I was in that age, 15 years ago, noone in the crircle of more social animals (the same in-crowd that the kids in the article appears to be) ever went on any regular dates. They met, hung out, fooled around, became an item - or not, fooled around some more, got bored and repeated the cycle. Sounds pretty much like what I read there. Plus Internet access. We all grew up to become productive, responsible and sensible adults.

What's the big deal? Did I miss the point?

#L

Did you see the part about oral sex being common now among eight & ninth graders? Or did I mis read it?

-Colly

 

[CharleyH]

Did you see the part about oral sex being common now among eight & ninth graders? Or did I mis read it?

-Colly

It was common 20 years ago too

 

[Liar]

Did you see the part about oral sex being common now among eight & ninth graders? Or did I mis read it?

-Colly

I'm not saying that that is not serious, kids should of course not give each other hummers left to right, just that I doubt it is has exploded in the face of an up until not chaste and uncorrupted youth.

I'm a little sceptic about the statement that is it quote "quite common". This comes from a 14 year old girl who have heard about it from other 14 year old boys and girls. Kids talk, as they always have.

Anyway, oral sex happened when I was in that age too. Common or less common than now? Not much difference, I'd say. This article seems to have the purpose of alarming parents of a staggering rise of teen promiscuity.

But to me, it told just that the situation is pretty much the same as the last 20 to 30 years.

If that is a good or bad thing, that's an entirely different story. I say that since there is very little to do except lock them all up at the first break of puberty, and release them on High School Graduation day, we should let teens be teens. Parents should try to supervise and restrain, as parents always do of course - that age is a constant tug-o-war, and the little critters pull extra hard because they expect their parents to hold them back.

It that workked in the 80's, I don't see why it shoudn't work fine now.

#L

 

[SlickTony]

One of the things I found appalling was that it seems like--still! guys are getting most of the oral, but think that doing the same for a girl is Yuck--or at least, the girls think they'd think so.

 

[CharleyH]

One of the things I found appalling was that it seems like--still! guys are getting most of the oral, but think that doing the same for a girl is Yuck--or at least, the girls think they'd think so.

Well, if I had a kid, I'd probably say the same thing my rather feminist Mother told me:

Nobody gets off 'til you do. Of course, she was referring to men and women, and not in 'quite' those words, but it worked for me a little more than twenty years ago.

The point being, if one is taught empowerment, one tends to be empowered.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I'm not saying that that is not serious, kids should of course not give each other hummers left to right, just that I doubt it is has exploded in the face of an up until not chaste and uncorrupted youth.

I'm a little sceptic about the statement that is it quote "quite common". This comes from a 14 year old girl who have heard about it from other 14 year old boys and girls. Kids talk, as they always have.

Anyway, oral sex happened when I was in that age too. Common or less common than now? Not much difference, I'd say. This article seems to have the purpose of alarming parents of a staggering rise of teen promiscuity.

But to me, it told just that the situation is pretty much the same as the last 20 to 30 years.

If that is a good or bad thing, that's an entirely different story. I say that since there is very little to do except lock them all up at the first break of puberty, and release them on High School Graduation day, we should let teens be teens. Parents should try to supervise and restrain, as parents always do of course - that age is a constant tug-o-war, and the little critters pull extra hard because they expect their parents to hold them back.

It that workked in the 80's, I don't see why it shoudn't work fine now.

#L

I, apparently lead a sheltered life.

-Colly

 

[Marsipanne]

I had a friend who was on an exchange in Portugal, got drunk and had oral sex with a guy 7 years older than her. She was 13. She always thought of herself as a mature gal, but in fact she's v.v. insecure and is constantly trying to prove herself. Actually, the 20-year old guy she gave a blow job to claimed he had had sex with her. Could be true, I don't know. But, I think it's disgusting. I stopped being friends with her after a while because of huge differences in our attitudes to life and ourselves.

 

[Guest]

I am not appalled either, but wonder why the word 'orgasm' was not used even once in the article, or at least alluded to in all those conversations with the girls. I don't believe the girls who say hooking up works for them if only the boy gets blown. Even if a kid that age is repulsed by cunnilingus, he does have fingers. And no one mentioned tits. Sheesh!

Other than the technology and lingo involved, it all sounds as hellish as the teen times of my past. I like the difference between 'dating' and 'hooking up', though it seems girls don't quite believe it, e.g., the ones that get hurt when they're dropped.

I liked the one metaphor about boys being microwaves and girls ovens. Seems to me the boys need to learn about the clitoris.

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

First of all, boys need to learn to give a damned about HER pleasure, not just his own...

 

[neonlyte]

Seems to me the boys need to learn about the clitoris.

Perdita

I'm always trying to learn but quite often get my face slapped.

NL

 

[Guest]

I'm always trying to learn but quite often get my face slapped.

Must have something to do with your approach. I always loved the teaching part, I think most women do.

Perdita

 

[Randi Grail]

I, apparently lead a sheltered life.

-Colly

You mean that there weren't humors in Jr High and High School, about those girls and those guys? Who was putting out, who was fooling around with who, et al?

No real surprise. But if you went to a regular school in a regular American town, I can assure you that this went on there too.

I mean, I was a good girl, so I never saw or was involved in any action during my early teens. But sure did hear the gossip about it. Sex ed is there for a reason. Like our teacher said "First of all, to prevent some of you from having sex too early, and second of all, to see to it that you who try don't fuck it up completely."

There were three kinds of teenagers. Those who did - note very many - those who heard and talked about it - quite a few - and those who didn't know or didn't care - quite a few too.

 

[oggbashan]

I met my first girlfriend (different from the first girl who was a friend) when she fell out of a tree on to me.

I tried to catch her and ended with my face against her cotton pantied pussy and my head buried inside her skirt.

From then onwards our relationship improved. I won't mention our ages.

Og

 

[Guest]

I tried to catch her and ended with my face against her cotton pantied pussy and my head buried inside her skirt.

I love that sentence, Ogg. It's a very fine sentence. It could explain to anyone why I love to read.

smiling, Perdita

 

[Pure]

It was shocking when first I heard of it.

Once you get past the acts, the 'hook ups', it's pretty much the same old, even including not letting the word get out.

As P said, the lack of any satisfaction for the girls is really striking.
(Again, same old.)

 

[Xelebes]

Can... can someone please copy and paste the article for me please? I don't have a subscription to NY Times and I don't have any means of buying one in the meantime.

 

[Liar]

Can... can someone please copy and paste the article for me please? I don't have a subscription to NY Times and I don't have any means of buying one in the meantime.

It's free. But you have to register at the site.

 

[minsue]

Hmm. Really. I read the article, and I still can't seem to understand what the horror was about.

It seems like the author is chocked over that kids today have a different social structure than in the...50's? What I can say is that what I read doesn't sound an ounce different than how kids in ages 14 to 17's have behaved for as long as I have any kind of reference. The 00's looks just like the 90's that looks just like the 80's and the 70's when it comes to how youth clumsily and staggering try out their newfound sexuality.

The big focus on the article seemed to be "dating" versus "hooking up". When I was in that age, 15 years ago, noone in the crircle of more social animals (the same in-crowd that the kids in the article appears to be) ever went on any regular dates. They met, hung out, fooled around, became an item - or not, fooled around some more, got bored and repeated the cycle. Sounds pretty much like what I read there. Plus Internet access. We all grew up to become productive, responsible and sensible adults.

What's the big deal? Did I miss the point?

#L

Agreed. Looking back, I suppose I was a little tramp, but I came out of it OK. Laughing at myself for saying this on a porn site, BTW

 

[Guest]

I met my first girlfriend (different from the first girl who was a friend) when she fell out of a tree on to me.

I tried to catch her and ended with my face against her cotton pantied pussy and my head buried inside her skirt.

From then onwards our relationship improved. I won't mention our ages.

Og

I love that.

I'm not gonna mention how old I was when I first "tried out" oral sex.

Lou

 

[shyly curious]

i read somewhere the other day that schools that teach oral sex to kids as a viable alternative have a far lower rate of teen pregnency, which seems like a good idea to me. in the 60's and 70's there were the ones who "did it", the ones rumored to have "done it", and the rest of us who fumbled around trying to "do it".

the neighborhood kids here are the same.

imho

 

[Guest]

 

[minsue]

Did you see the part about oral sex being common now among eight & ninth graders? Or did I mis read it?

-Colly

It wasn't all that uncommon 10-15 years ago, either.