Do your subs ever use innocent bystanders against you?

[Marquis]

I'm talking about some human shield type shit.

You tell her to shut her fucking mouth and raise the backhand, meanwhile captain-save-a-ho comes along and demands you show the lady "a little respect."

Not having any relationship with the captain, you look upon your property puzzled, thinking... "but we have a special relationship!"

She says nothing, and feigns ignorance to the fact that you beat that ass on the regular.

Now the captain feels vindicated in his right to intervene, and is spouting the merits of chivalry while eyeballing your bitches moneybits.

What do you do here?

Take out the captain?

How many innocent bystanders must suffer?

 

[YourCaptor]

Good question, I like Adam Sandler's approach,

“hey old man river, zip it or I break your hip”

realistically, probably something along the lines of

“this is a personal matter, so how about you take a page our of your own book”

or

“naw, she would rather be humiliated, watch”, turn her around, bend her over an give it a good spank, then smile at captain-astonished.

 

[Marquis]

This is not something I want to compromise on.

What I want is for my subs to represent our relationship in public with honor.

I know they expect me to protect them, I have taken this responsibility.

Life is full of enough threats against little girls who want to play all day as it is. No need to make cheeky games out of it that will get horny dudes stabbed in the kidneys and fine masters pimping prison faggots for cigarettes.

 

[YourCaptor]

This is not something I want to compromise on.

What I want is for my subs to represent our relationship in public with honor.

I know they expect me to protect them, I have taken this responsibility.

Life is full of enough threats against little girls who want to play all day as it is. No need to make cheeky games out of it that will get horny dudes stabbed in the kidneys and fine masters pimping prison faggots for cigarettes.

In that case how about,

"You want her, you can have her"

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, seriously M, I would just keep the more inflammatory stuff at home free of interference, and deal with any problems while out either in a different way, or with their knowledge it will be dealt with at home, perhaps with added sting for making it a situation which required you waiting for the sake of not getting arrested for assault.

Catalina

 

[kinkyknickers]

Yeah, what they said...

Just don't forget that whilst some of us are in loving dom-sub relationships, there are others who are genuine victims of serious abuse out there and captain hero is only looking out for them.

Some people get tortured... and not in a good way, whilst others just stand by and watch them be broken and hurt.

They don't get the option of a safety word.

The real world can't differentiate between love pain and victimising pain. That's the price you pay for the lifestyle, which isn't really a big one when you think about it.

I'd like to think you could cop it in solidarity for those people who won't ever get to know the love behind a firm hand.

KK

 

[Primalex]

Rereading the thread title and the text, what exactly is now your problem? That your sub didn't say anything to solve the problem or how you should deal with the hero?

I would expect that my sub doesn't say anything in such a situation as it is my job to solve confrontations. If your expectation differs, I suggest you inform your sub.

Regarding dealing with the hero - there is not much you can do about it. He is convinced you are the bad guy. Whatever you say will not convince him. The hero entered a battle without any idea when the battle is won though, so he has also no clue when to leave - he is waiting for your move. This is your weapon: Just ask the hero what he thinks you and your girl should do now.

Then he has two options.
1) He requests things that he can't control or supervise like "Just show her some respect in the future". Then you can just nod. The definition of showing her that you respect her is up to you.
2) He requests things that need to take place immediately like "Tell her that you are sorry." Depending on his wording and your relationship, you decide if you can do this or not. If you can't do this, refuse politely and ask for another option. This will end in 1) then sooner or later.

This will work unless the hero is just trying to start a fight. If you regularly need to deal with the latter type, I suggest a professional bouncer training.

 

[intothewoods]

I haven't finished my first cup of coffee yet. Is this serious or not?

I would be so pissed if someone did that in public and then said, oh, don't worry, she consents. Hello, keep that shit behind closed doors, please?

Anyway. My mom kept her kids in line, and she never raised a hand, in public or private. In public, she would just give us the evil eye. So, Marquis, just master the evil eye, and you're all good.

 

[SubKekiLee]

This is not something I want to compromise on.

What I want is for my subs to represent our relationship in public with honor.

I know they expect me to protect them, I have taken this responsibility.

Well in my case my actions in public are a reflection of my submission to my Sir in public.. I must represent him respectfully, honorably, and with most respect I cant imagine ever not showing him the highest respect....

He does protect me, he guards me and my heart and my soul.. he took me on this journey...HE WOULD NEVER HIT ME in PUBLIC , in anger or in anymanner other than consentually

 

[EmpressFi]

With the number of abused women who say something along the lines of, "it was my fault, I was out of line..." do you really think that if she speaks up and says anything to Captain Hero that it's going to make him hold up his hand saying, "Sorry dude..no problem"?

Most people outside of our lifestyle wouldnt understand that you're just reprimanding you "ho"

As far as other means.. I go with the evil eye. If we're in public and I'm getting out of line.. which has only happened once, but he just gave me his "I'm so disappointed" look.

I enjoy that he DOES protect me.. but I dont need him to protect me in that sense

 

[Caitlynne]

This is not something I want to compromise on.

But it's something you may *have* to compromise on if you want to stay out of jail. [That's assuming this really is something you won't compromise on, and not just a hard line meant to stimulate conversation here on the forum.]

In many states, consent is not a valid defense to charges of assault and battery. Let me repeat that: CONSENT is not a VALID defense against charges of assault and battery. You could be convicted even if your sub testifies that she consented. At the very least you could be arrested and spoil the rest of the afternoon until you are bailed out or released.

Maybe some day when a sub acts not to your liking, it will be legal and socially acceptable to take out a cane and give her a couple of whacks right then and there. Maybe one day it will. But until then, my advice is to watch out for the laws in your state. You may be Master of your home and your world, but you're not the Master of the whole world --yet!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I know that many Ds think it is their job to handle confrontation like this but if I had been the sub in question, I would have spoken up.

My Master once had me down an alley with my knickers stuffed in my mouth and his hand around my throat. A guy tried to intervene and rescue me from my 'rapist.' Now because I knew he would have no regard for anything that Master said, assuming him to be an abuser, I made it clear (after I had ungagged myself) that I was fine, happy and we were just 'playing rough.' That was all the guy needed to hear. If Master had tried to speak for me or qualify what he was doing, the tension would just have escalated IMO.

If Master becomes angry with me in public (fortunately a very rare event) he'll either save it to be dealt with later or separate me somewhere relatively private in order to reprimand me verbally and/or physically. He would never backhand me in public.

I think that your sub could have said something to diffuse the situation. The wannabe hero rarely backs down until he has heard from the woman herself that she is fine and not in need of assistance. I can understand that as unless the woman speaks for herself there is no way of knowing if she genuinely needs help or not.

I agree with Cat and others that corporal punishment should be kept away from public view, it's just asking for trouble IMO.

 

[ownedsubgal]

very good question Marquis, about a real life scenario that many of us have had to deal with at some point or other.

of course the best bet is to try to avoid having any vanilla witnesses in the first place. my Master has verbally and physically reprimanded me in public, the latter always in relative privacy (bathroom, empty aisle of grocery store, alley, etc.). fortunately for us no one has ever intervened and tried to play hero. tho people have noticed us, shaken heads, tsk tsked, but luckily we live in a metropolitan/self-absorbed enough area where people generally mind their own business (i.e. don't give a flookie). i imagine if some guy did try to assert himself with my Master and "protect" me, my place would be to just stand behind Daddy and keep quiet, and Daddy would more than likely tell the guy to flock off, using physical force only if absolutely necessary (or if the guy just caught him on a bad day).

 

[graceanne]

K and I generally keep out arguments and other such stuff in private, it's just considerate.

 

[TenJed69]

Pretty much agree with what's said here before me. Being a dom doesn't mean you can have your way no matter what. Your first preference might be to knock her four ways from Sunday right there next to the police car, but your first preference will get you sent to jail. Here in the UK, as someone said above for many American states, consent is NOT a defence for assault and it is the police and the CPS's decision whether to prosecute, not the victim's (no such thing as "I don't want to press charges").

Even if the cops don't get involved directly, captain hero may be a violent captain hero and knock you on your ass - and even if you knock HIM on his ass, just try explaining this all to the police when he calls them.

Having said that, just because you can't have your first preference doesn't mean your sub is off the hook or that she gets her own way.

Personally, I'll speak to her pretty much as I please in public*, but never strike her. That's just asking for trouble. I may pull her hair a bit, in a way that no one should notice unless they look real hard, or give her a slap on the bottom that probably makes me look more like a possessive ass than an abuser That would be for a minor infraction, however. In more serious cases I might drag her somewhere private to administer a punishment, but the most common thing for me to do is just let her know in no uncertain terms that this WILL be dealt with later, and that she WILL regret the delay. For instance, I may note the time and then add one swat for every minute of delay or one minute of some unpleasant or pleasing (to me) task.

*Unless people we know are around, in which case I mellow it down a bit. Also, if a simple command like "be QUIET woman!" (a favourite of mine Reminds me Lucius Verenus from Rome) isn't enough to put her place then I will simply ignore her and speak no more of it until she comes to her senses and apologises or we get to somewhere private. I would, I must admit, be embarrassed to have an argument with my property in public.

 

[Chicklet]

If my man raised his backhand to me in public, I'd hope it'd be a joke.

If he actually meant to strike my face in public, in front of people who wouldn't understand our lifestyle, I would reconsider my relationship with him.

Captain Hero wins, my man loses.

I'd have to say, though, that if I pissed him off in public, it'd be a much worse punishment to deal with his silence and wonder how I'd disappointed him, since my behavior and respect in public are important to him.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think that your sub could have said something to diffuse the situation. The wannabe hero rarely backs down until he has heard from the woman herself that she is fine and not in need of assistance. I can understand that as unless the woman speaks for herself there is no way of knowing if she genuinely needs help or not.

Problem with this is that many abused women will jump to the defense of their abuser for a variety of reasons, none of which translate to them consenting to the abuse but which appears to an outsider they are and gets them labeled as trash or just plain dumb bitches. It doesn't guarantee someone intervening will back off and can actually escalate the whole issue. For me responsibility goes with the PYL...the public also has a right to consent to whether they want to be exposed up close and almost personal to our behaviour or not....witnessing something of this nature if you are someone who has been through a violent and/or abusive situation/relationship can have some fairly heavy consequences for that person. Personally I don't feel comfortable with assuming the right to send them back to therapy or years back in their recovery just so I can have a little fun and/or live up to the lifestyle choices I made.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

This is why I always couch my shame producing antics in plausible deniability. Even if it's only thinly plausible "oh don't mind him, he's off his meds - come ON Dad..."

 

[Caitlynne]

Problem with this is that many abused women will jump to the defense of their abuser for a variety of reasons, none of which translate to them consenting to the abuse but which appears to an outsider they are and gets them labeled as trash or just plain dumb bitches. It doesn't guarantee someone intervening will back off and can actually escalate the whole issue. For me responsibility goes with the PYL...the public also has a right to consent to whether they want to be exposed up close and almost personal to our behaviour or not....witnessing something of this nature if you are someone who has been through a violent and/or abusive situation/relationship can have some fairly heavy consequences for that person. Personally I don't feel comfortable with assuming the right to send them back to therapy or years back in their recovery just so I can have a little fun and/or live up to the lifestyle choices I made.

Catalina

Excellent post!

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm not really seeing you being serious on this Marquis...you got more brains than to think this would fly and be seen as OK by either the public or most here, but makes for good discussion.

Catalina

 

[Caitlynne]

I'm not really seeing you being serious on this Marquis...you got more brains than to think this would fly and be seen as OK by either the public or most here, but makes for good discussion.

Catalina

Me either, but he always does seem to frame a topic in a way that gets the discussion rolling along with some fire and passion.

 

[myinnerslut]

i hope to never find myself i that sistuation. the way i act in public and the way i act in private are different by neccessity. in order for my master to protect me, he has to protect my public image, so a situation such as being backhanded in an unconsenting ublic crowd wouldnt happen.

that being said if it did i couldnt fualt the bystander for trying to help. i would try to do what i could depending on the situation to diffuse any tension. however, depending on the situation, my stepping in and saying somethig may only make things worse.

 

[incubus_dark]

There aren’t really that many Captain Heroes around anymore. Well, not in sufficient concentration to make them a genuine nuisance. Still, society deems certain things to be highly naughty in public, and you flout them at your own risk. And too, part of the spice of the lifestyle derives from the sense of wickedness one derives from breaking such taboos, as we all well know.

Really, it’s like dog training: It might be acceptable to spank your puppy in private so that they learn not to commit nuisances on the linoleum in public, but it is definitely considered crass to wallop your puppy in front of the common ruck, and reflects poorly on both one’s character and skill as a trainer of puppies who, by virtue of their sad brown eyes, are universally considered the underdog, per se. Similarly, if your sub is so poorly trained that a beating in front of the vanilla world seems to be in order, it bodes poorly for how things are going in general.

I’d be far more inclined towards giving the evil eye, with all its implied menace as to how the sub’s immediate future is about to pan out. Failing that, Netzach’s technique has genuine merit or alternatively, one can order the wayward sub to say something extremely socially inappropriate to our putatively chivalrous hero, such that he no longer considers her, him or it, worthy of rescue or intervention. Perhaps something like, “Jesus’ balls, it makes me so wet when he threatens to give me a hiding in public. I want you to get down on the floor and nuzzle my shity sphincter here and now, sissy boy.” Such things, I find, tend to put the innately heroic types off their weeties or, at worst, might initiate a delicious new humiliation.

 

[tickety_tock]

"oh don't mind him, he's off his meds - come ON Dad..."

HAHAHAHAHA

I think that just might work!

 

[YourCaptor]

very good question Marquis, about a real life scenario that many of us have had to deal with at some point or other.

of course the best bet is to try to avoid having any vanilla witnesses in the first place. my Master has verbally and physically reprimanded me in public, the latter always in relative privacy (bathroom, empty aisle of grocery store, alley, etc.). fortunately for us no one has ever intervened and tried to play hero. tho people have noticed us, shaken heads, tsk tsked, but luckily we live in a metropolitan/self-absorbed enough area where people generally mind their own business (i.e. don't give a flookie). i imagine if some guy did try to assert himself with my Master and "protect" me, my place would be to just stand behind Daddy and keep quiet, and Daddy would more than likely tell the guy to flock off, using physical force only if absolutely necessary (or if the guy just caught him on a bad day).

That is hot