Do you...

[Forgottenwife]

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Food for thought?

 

[UKMind]

I think you have to be balanced. I think you need to give folk the benefit of the doubt as historical posts can be in the best of the moment or on a bad day but invariably a leopard doesn’t change its spots so if some is pretending to be something they’re not they’ll revert to type soon enough.

I often read historical posts of anyone that messages me so I get a feel for the person and see if we share any common ground.

Good luck in finding what you’re looking for

 

[Grumplestiltskin]

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Good for thought?

Yes I would check their other posts. Any pervert can write a heartfelt message if they are trying to get into your knickers *

 

[Jada59]

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Good for thought?

Always take a look at their posts. Base things on that.

 

[MatureChattyMann]

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Food for thought?

I think a message is personal and particular, whereas posts are often responsive and in the moment.

 

[reader3286]

Conflict suggests dishonesty ... but

Yes, if the message tone and that of prior posts and their profile are in considerable disagreement then there should be concern and caution is the word. However, the conflicting material must be taken within the context of the environment. A post on a thread whose theme is extreme BDSM, for example, may well be quite different than that under a thread of closeness, affection, and giving. Thus I would not dismiss comments out of hand but give due consideration to context.

There is another factor, and it is somewhat personal. This is my second post and my profile has little in it. I don't inject myself into conversations just have my opinon published; I must have something of value, perceived on my part at least, to say; a contribution, not a blather. As well, one's profile may be sparse, as many are, and the reasons although abundant, are usually not clear nor revealed.

I'm somewhat of an introvert, reflective, and don't like revealing myself. After 80 years, I am not interested in acquiring more wounds. My profile reveales little, at least my gender is indicated, and my replies, what few there are, address the issue in the original post. Even my screen name "reader3286" suggests that I listen far more than I comment.

The others who have replied seem to have experience and, in general, advise caution, counsel well meant and of good quality. I recommend you follow it.

 

[fitzroyology]

I do, but a lot of guys, we we know, think with their dick and when they see a post just send a message and expect acceptance.

As said post history is not always a complete example, I only have few posts to my name, but under my old profile (which I could no longer access) had 1000s. My old one would reflect who I am much more than can be seen right now.

 

[vidiman]

Personally i take all things into consideration...

...and still most 'decent' connections will happen thru further conversation.. it cant always happen especially if you are inundated with replies... which is more a female 'issue' than for most males (i expect

 

[Alex9255]

Well human behaviour is complex. People behave differently in different situations. He could as well be genuinely interested. Many people are overwhelmed when they first join the forum. So many people talking about anything and everything. You could not text him back and never be sure or text him and get to know him. If he isn’t genuinely interested, you’ll come to know.
Good Luck

 

[jrdexter]

I take the message and history into account. It seems people are lonely being at home or around a limited number of people and it is reflected in some current posts. Understandable for sure. Any time we open ourselves up to even a conversation we assume some risk of let down or rebuff. It seems that a pale of grumpiness settles in over some folks. A shame.
Be safe, Stay healthy!

 

[bigdaddykingdavid]

In context

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Food for thought?

I think its important to do a little research on someone you may have an interest in even if just friendship.
I think its more than a background check if you will , its also a way to see if you have common interests and possibly read about things you may have never heard before or tried .

However, and this I believe is important, one must keep in mind that this is a site dedicated to erotica and strong sexual content. I will speak for myself, and say that ideally this is a safe and fun place to explore, express, ones sexuality perhaps act out a fantasy that is not possible in the real or physical world because of legal or moral judgment .

Role play for example may consist of incest or rape fantasy where one may act out or pretend there innermost hidden and secret desires anonymously . Or write stories for shock or entertainment value.

I feel it is tempting to judge others if for no other reason than to assuage our own guilt for those things we secretly desire since they arent nearly as bad as that persons filthy mind.

If we do judge by a persons past I think we owe it to ourselves to ask them about whatever it is. we go through things in life, phases, trauma, and at times we let off steam by writing.

I have written some raunchy things in my stories most of which Im not into t all, I just wanted to get shock value and be a good writer. Thats just my two cents.

 

[WillJ8787]

Yes, I usually check past posts to get an idea about how they are.

 

[10169kek]

My advice is to take everything in. Listen to your gut. The experiences and feelings, both good and bad, will effect your heart, your logical brain, and your gut feelings. I believe that your heart craves the attention and love that you need, your logical brain tries to intervene but can be talked into discounting things or accepting things. Your gut feelings (I have no idea where they are and where they come from) are usually right on. Must be the bullshit detector and the ability to separate from the other two. I don't think you can go wrong listening to your gut feelings. When I have gone against them I have been hurt terribly. Good luck!

 

[chnj702]

Data points

I do think you need to consider past history, as you would if you were thinking of dating someone, but it’s only one piece the puzzle. For me, I rarely comment or post on threads as I don’t like putting myself out there. Replying to this is a big step for me to get out of my comfort zone. I think you need to rely on instinct, and if need be, probe a bit more directly with a person if you see something that makes you pause.

 

[Ironfan]

I think you have to do both (caveat of I don't get that many PM's)

Have a look back through past posts but remember that peoples attitude/posts may change over time. If there is a recurring theme then it'll stand out pretty clearly.

But maybe you post hit them in a way they hadn't felt since being on here, it may be that shining beacon they didn't know they needed.

All told, trust your judgment/instinct, if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Good luck with your search, hope you find your grail.

 

[beachguyinflorida]

I agree with those that take everything into consideration. You want to get somewhat of an idea of that person.

 

[Idkwtftosay69]

So are you on Literotica for a heart felt relationship?
Honey you are in the wrong place.

 

[nicklucas]

Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

Previous posts may not provide a complete portrait of a potential correspondent, but the sketch is likely to be accurate.

Best of luck finding what you seek.

 

[babygirlslave19]

I have been following your posts as I feel like we have much in common. As an online sub of 5 years, mostly on this forum, I've met many Doms and I guess I want to put my 2 cents in.

Over time, there have only been a handful that I discovered were genuine. As a sub and romantic, it's easy to wear your heart on your sleeve and trust easily. But the majority will never value an online relationship with the same seriousness and respect as if it were in real life.

You have to proceed with caution and get to know someone before getting emotionally involved. It's easy to fall for words as you so desperately crave that attention as a sub. Since you're new, you're like a kid in a candy shop.

Be careful, it will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

 

[Lone_Wanderer]

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Food for thought?

You might want to ask them about their previous posts if you are curious. Props to you for going that extra mile to see if they are someone worthy of your time and affection.

However, I wouldn't ignore your instincts as well. They're probably better honed than you think.

 

[Lone_Wanderer]

Be careful, it will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

She has some good points on this. Very sound advice.

 

[Booboobear84]

I try to always look at previous posts. to see if we're going to get along, and to have something to talk about. If you're going to PM, you should actually be interested in the person.

 

[LLCox]

I can be sarcastic out on the board but I am not in a PM. Different strokes for different posts.

 

[StarGazer58]

I frequently look at a person's past posts to get an idea about them. One is to figure out of they are male or female if it is not obvious from their nic. Always good to get an idea what the other person's interests are and if they fit with mine. But that said, this is still online so people can be other than their real selves so have to take things with a grain of salt.

 

[MassiveGiantBrain]

Ask direct questions

When initiating conversion with someone do you usually take into consideration their signature and previous posts or threads?

Ie if I was looking for someone with a strong emotional connection to me and I received a heartfelt message in my inbox, but their signature and previous posts etc give me a different impression of that person what do you do?

Food for thought?

Have you ever seen the optical illusion that shows a beautiful woman and an ugly hag at the same time... if you look at it one way you see just one or the other... but a deeper look you see both.

Life is complex. People are complex. We all have a different set of experience in life and therefore we do not all "see things" the same way.

We live in a world where people are quick to determine if a person they meet is seeing what they see. If not they are often quick to conclude that the other person sees things the wrong way. They see the hag... we see the beautiful girl. We see the hag... they see the beautiful girl. But by trying to understand each other, rather than making snap judgements about each other, we might discover that there is more depth to the person than the surface pigeon hole calculation created.

Also, consider this: Have you ever met someone that you quickly thought was a kindred spirit and eventually saw that they were not at all the person you thought you saw in your early impressions of them? I am sure you have and that you ended up bitterly disappointed. Many failed marriages are a testimony to this principle.

So both things are true. We can THINK someone is wonderful or we can THINK someone is horrible and it can just be the first impression syndrome at work.

The solution is to be open and real with people. Talk. Ask questions. Listen to what they are saying. Tell them what you really think. In that process you can get a much better sense of who they are at the core and not just the superficial and often misunderstood person we imagined them to be.