Do you show friends what you write?

[Flowsnake]

I'm about to self publish my first novel-length story and I want to get some eyes on it from people I could talk to in person. Have any of you asked an acquaintance to read one of your works pre-publishing? If so, did it freak them out or was it cool? It is hard for me to judge whether it is squicky to say "hey, could you read my erotic novel and tell me what you thought?"

 

[sr71plt]

No, I haven't. But I can't see where my showing my friends or anyone else showing their friends would in any way be the same as or relevant to you showing your friends.

I certainly wouldn't show anyone who I didn't think was open to reading the erotica I wrote.

 

[RejectReality]

I don't think anyone else's experience is going to do you any good. You're going to have to decide for yourself whether the person in question can handle what you've written as well as deal with knowing that it was you who wrote it.

As for me and who's read my stuff: My wife who knew what I was writing. My sister has read a few of my LST3Ks. The humor is enough to offset the creepy factor for her ( plus, I didn't actually write the porn I'm making fun of in most cases - just the jokes )

Beyond that, the only people I know in person who have read anything aren't really the best examples. We're talking about nude chat models and admins for the same. They're not exactly "common jane/joe" examples when it comes to erotica.

For that matter, my wife was a nude cam model, so she doesn't fit that bill either. That narrows it down to my sister who knows what I write, but I wouldn't ask and she wouldn't offer to read any pure erotica without the humor edge.

 

[Flowsnake]

This is actually helpful, thanks. I recognize that no one can predict or proxy my own relationships with people. But hearing how others approach getting their work vetted is useful.

 

[SamScribble]

Showing your stuff to people who you know (other than your agent, your editor, etc) is a mixed bag. If they are a part of your target audience then, yes, by all means, get their opinion. If they aren't ... probably better not to.

I have one friend to whom I show everything. She's another writer and I really value her opinion. I also show quite a bit of my stuff to my sister and two or three other friends (all of whom are very literate) because I know that they will tell me if I've gone over the top or if I'm being self-indulgent. But, in the end, you have to write for yourself. Well, after more than 50 years in the chair, that's my view anyway.

 

[YDB95]

My non-erotic fiction? All the time. The erotica? Only among friends whom I already know to be cool with it, and even then it's fairly rare that the subject comes up.

 

[horrorotica]

In my experience when it comes to getting friends to read your work they either do it and then just tell you what you want to hear (which is useless), or make about million excuses why they're too busy at the moment (in other words they don't want to do it).

So I learnt long ago not to bother. I think if you're looking for feedback that can help you as a writer, then employ an editor to read your stuff. It can cost you sometimes, but it's still a cheaper education than doing courses or degrees in writing.

 

[Flowsnake]

There seems to be a consistent theme. I'm reaching out to some editors and will check the forum for threads on finding an editor.

 

[Hypoxia]

I'm a newbie erotica author. I write here for fun, not fame nor fortune nor friends. I'll admit to being a weak storyteller, although I've done well as a tech writer and editor. I don't show my erotica to ANYONE who knows me, mostly because they might be thinly-disguised characters in tales they won't like. I don't want my family and friends to desert me.

Informed input and feedback is vital for any work with commercial goals. Uninformed feedback can be less than useless. My advice: Show your stories to writers and editors, not to buddies who have never published anything.

About LIT volunteer editors: I contacted an editor who agreed to work with me on a story series. That person then vanished. And I've seen numerous submissions here that credit an editor but are still horribly sloppy. I am less than thrilled with the quality of editing I have seen here. My advice: choose a volunteer editor very carefully.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm about to self publish my first novel-length story and I want to get some eyes on it from people I could talk to in person. Have any of you asked an acquaintance to read one of your works pre-publishing? If so, did it freak them out or was it cool? It is hard for me to judge whether it is squicky to say "hey, could you read my erotic novel and tell me what you thought?"

On my BDSM work yes.

I know several people locally who are in the lifestyle and gotten feedback from them. Since I was writing about things they are "into" I feel I got great feedback and suggestions from them.

Not sure what you're writing so it may depend. I certainly would never advertise I write incest stories.

If you know someone open minded enough that they can read it for what it is and not look at you and think"pervert" it may be worth doing.

But they will still only be a couple of people. Best bet is juts go ahead and publish it so it can be found and bought by the audience its meant for.

You said its a novel so why don;t you perhaps post a chapter here? Maybe you can tweak it to be a standalone, put it on lit and get some feedback.

Otherwise don't put too much stock in the opinions of a "non erotic" audience.

 

[patientlee]

On my BDSM work yes.

I know several people locally who are in the lifestyle and gotten feedback from them. Since I was writing about things they are "into" I feel I got great feedback and suggestions from them.

Not sure what you're writing so it may depend. I certainly would never advertise I write incest stories.

If you know someone open minded enough that they can read it for what it is and not look at you and think"pervert" it may be worth doing.

But they will still only be a couple of people. Best bet is juts go ahead and publish it so it can be found and bought by the audience its meant for.

You said its a novel so why don;t you perhaps post a chapter here? Maybe you can tweak it to be a standalone, put it on lit and get some feedback.

Otherwise don't put too much stock in the opinions of a "non erotic" audience.

I agree. Post a chapter on Lit.

(But when LC says "post a chapter here", he means submit your chapter as a story. Don't copy and paste in the forum. There have been several arguments about the three-paragraph-of-a-story guideline in the past couple of weeks.)

Good luck.

 

[lovecraft68]

I agree. Post a chapter on Lit.

(But when LC says "post a chapter here", he means submit your chapter as a story. Don't copy and paste in the forum. There have been several arguments about the three-paragraph-of-a-story guideline in the past couple of weeks.)

Good luck.

Once again thanks for adding the little detail I forgot.

Can you come down here and follow me around? You could be my own personal auto correct

 

[StrangeLife]

Have any of you asked an acquaintance to read one of your works pre-publishing?

Hell no. They all think I'm normal...

 

[patientlee]

Once again thanks for adding the little detail I forgot.

Can you come down here and follow me around? You could be my own personal auto correct

Wasn't correcting. Just clarifying. I've just had more coffee than you have.

Don't worry, LC. I got your back.

 

[patientlee]

Hell no. They all think I'm normal...

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Wasn't correcting. Just clarifying. I've just had more coffee than you have.

Don't worry, LC. I got your back.

I don't doubt the coffee I've actually started to cut back.

And thank you for having my back. Maybe you can be my "lit wife" my real wife spends a lot of time following me up with "What he means is..."

Of course that is usually when I've said something kind of rude, which leads to her "He meant" and me saying "No, that is not what I meant

 

[patientlee]

I don't doubt the coffee I've actually started to cut back.

And thank you for having my back. Maybe you can be my "lit wife" my real wife spends a lot of time following me up with "What he means is..."

Of course that is usually when I've said something kind of rude, which leads to her "He meant" and me saying "No, that is not what I meant

Why would anyone cut back on the nectar of the gods?

I cut coffee out completely one summer, just because I was tired of cleaning the damn coffee maker. About three weeks into the school year, I realized that I felt like crap all the time. Somebody offered me a cup of coffee, and I was cured.

I have never attempted such foolishness since then.

Is that a marriage proposal I hear? I gave up trying to clarify my husband's rudeness. I just footnote him with the disclaimer that the opinions of the husband are not the views of the wife, children, etc.

Damn... there's that word again. I gotta stop footnoting around LC!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The real risk is from the spouse using your writing to get custody of the kids. And they will do it.

 

[horrorotica]

The real risk is from the spouse using your writing to get custody of the kids. And they will do it.

ha ha ha.

 

[lovecraft68]

Why would anyone cut back on the nectar of the gods?

I cut coffee out completely one summer, just because I was tired of cleaning the damn coffee maker. About three weeks into the school year, I realized that I felt like crap all the time. Somebody offered me a cup of coffee, and I was cured.

I have never attempted such foolishness since then.

Is that a marriage proposal I hear? I gave up trying to clarify my husband's rudeness. I just footnote him with the disclaimer that the opinions of the husband are not the views of the wife, children, etc.

Damn... there's that word again. I gotta stop footnoting around LC!

Of course its a marriage proposal! You had me at "foot"

Actually my blood pressure seems a little high these days and I loathe medication so I'm cutting back caffeine (I'm good for 8-10 cups on the weekends and maybe 6 or so weekdays) to about a third of what I drink and changing my diet a little bit as well.

Of course the boards are not always good for bloodpressure

 

[lovecraft68]

ha ha ha.

He's not kidding! There have been poster's who have spoken of it here and over on the BDSM forums there are people who's ex's have used their lifestyle (floggers and bondage paraphernalia in their rooms) against them for custody as well.

Trust me the system is very open to stuff like that being used so it can be an issue.

I was already divorced when I started writing erotica so no worries there. Even when my younger daughter came to live with me it was no issue and my only worry with my second wife is that she keeps pushing me to write more so I can read it to her.

 

[patientlee]

The real risk is from the spouse using your writing to get custody of the kids. And they will do it.

You haven't met my kids.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You haven't met my kids.

(snort). I recall a client who came in with her kid and asked, CAN YOU PUT HIM TO SLEEP FOR ME?

 

[lovecraft68]

(snort). I recall a client who came in with her kid and asked, CAN YOU PUT HIM TO SLEEP FOR ME?

Too funny.

My response would have been, perhaps if you had better parenting skills you wouldn't need to.

 

[patientlee]

(snort). I recall a client who came in with her kid and asked, CAN YOU PUT HIM TO SLEEP FOR ME?

We took my 8 y/o for counseling for about six months because he was flying into fits of rage from time to time. He'd go for a couple of weeks where he wouldn't do anything he was told, he'd laugh in my face, he was completely ridiculous. He's normally a sweet, nerdy, delightfully weird boy.

The diagnosis: The boy needs to sleep 10.5 hours every night. The 9.5-10 he was getting wasn't enough. If he had a couple of days in a row with a late bedtime, he was out of control.

When he's got a sleep deficit, he is like a mean drunk until he sobers up with enough sleep.