do you see me

[temperanceless]

I sorta picked up on that in the first post.

Catalina

Anything else you girls would like tyo pick apart and be negative about?
You each would tell people not to be disrespectful or judge BDSM, but look what you do when someone new comes here?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Anything else you girls would like tyo pick apart and be negative about?
You each would tell people not to be disrespectful or judge BDSM, but look what you do when someone new comes here?

OK, call it judging if you like when someone picks up on something before you admit it of your own free will without it being suggested r mentioned until you mention it yourself..I prefer to think of it as experience and perception. As to newbies, they get warm welcomes most times, but as you have seen, most did not know whether you were doing a personal ad or a writing sample to be critiqued, none thought you were looking for a conversation. I am stil not clear on what you might want to discuss except the bad treatment of newbies. For myself I treat them the same as anyone else unless they show a reason to be defensive and/or suspicious and then opnce again they get treated just the same as an older poster who exhibits the same behavour. If you really are looking to be a sub, one good thing to learn is to develop a less sensitive and needy approach in that you want speca treatment...most Dominants expect the special treatment to be reserved for them and are happy to demand it and cuss if it is not forth comng. So now you have some discussion point started (the perils of being a sub), do you wish to continue?

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

1. I am not a man

2. There is no "right" way to talk about something.

3. Why does it bother you?

I assume that this was responding to me.

What on earth does the "I am not a man" comment have to do with anything? Is this in relation to what I called "flowery woo woo" prose? Are you saying that you wrote flowery woo woo because you are female, and only men write forthrightly about their feelings, because women have to put it all in silly terms?

No, there is no right way to talk about something. However, you said you wanted to start a conversation. I've been around these boards for a long, long time. Believe it or not, I was being helpful in explaining how you might have better luck starting a conversation; people around here simply don't respond to things that are written like your first post in a way that would turn into a conversation. Explicitly asking questions, telling about your own experience and feelings, and asking for information and feedback are much more effective ways of getting this group talking?

Bother me? That's awfully presumptuous; like I said, I was just trying to be helpful.

 

[temperanceless]

OK, call it judging if you like when someone picks up on something before you admit it of your own free will without it being suggested r mentioned until you mention it yourself..I prefer to think of it as experience and perception. As to newbies, they get warm welcomes most times, but as you have seen, most did not know whether you were doing a personal ad or a writing sample to be critiqued, none thought you were looking for a conversation. I am stil not clear on what you might want to discuss except the bad treatment of newbies. For myself I treat them the same as anyone else unless they show a reason to be defensive and/or suspicious and then opnce again they get treated just the same as an older poster who exhibits the same behavour. If you really are looking to be a sub, one good thing to learn is to develop a less sensitive and needy approach in that you want speca treatment...most Dominants expect the special treatment to be reserved for them and are happy to demand it and cuss if it is not forth comng. So now you have some discussion point started (the perils of being a sub), do you wish to continue?

Catalina

Special treatment? How about just not kicking me in the teeth for opening my mouth? You wonder what I'm getting at? ASK

 

[catalina_francisco]

Special treatment? How about just not kicking me in the teeth for opening my mouth? You wonder what I'm getting at? ASK

OK, so I see you are not interested in discussion..I tried, bt I am not into discussions that basically are 'poor me' in context. If you want a discussion on BDSM, like Etoile has diplomatically pointed out, and I tried to begin for you in your absence of coming up with a point to discuss, introduce something to be discussed besides how you feel you have been treated. If as you claim this is how newbies are treated, how the heck did we get so many regulars, and how to we keep getting more and more?

Catalina

 

[temperanceless]

I assume that this was responding to me.

What on earth does the "I am not a man" comment have to do with anything? Is this in relation to what I called "flowery woo woo" prose? Are you saying that you wrote flowery woo woo because you are female, and only men write forthrightly about their feelings, because women have to put it all in silly terms?

No, there is no right way to talk about something. However, you said you wanted to start a conversation. I've been around these boards for a long, long time. Believe it or not, I was being helpful in explaining how you might have better luck starting a conversation; people around here simply don't respond to things that are written like your first post in a way that would turn into a conversation. Explicitly asking questions, telling about your own experience and feelings, and asking for information and feedback are much more effective ways of getting this group talking?

Bother me? That's awfully presumptuous; like I said, I was just trying to be helpful.

Point taken on the better way to have a conversation, OK? What's so terrible about trying to kindle a conversation about a topic through a description of my feelings about it? why jump me? On pg 1 Rebecca wrote "as the ALTER of masculine" which I took to mean she was implying a man. She followed by telling me to get over myself, which seems pointedly unfriendly like much of the commentary that followed.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Point taken on the better way to have a conversation, OK? What's so terrible about trying to kindle a conversation about a topic through a description of my feelings about it? why jump me? On pg 1 Rebecca wrote "as the ALTER of masculine" which I took to mean she was implying a man. She followed by telling me to get over myself, which seems pointedly unfriendly like much of the commentary that followed.

It seems your feelings were ot clearly conveyed to give a point for discussion.and still you have not really defied anything you want to discuss..if you want to dscuss your feelings, perhaps tell people in what way or wha it is you want to discuss about them.

Catalina

 

[temperanceless]

It seems your feelings were ot clearly conveyed to give a point for discussion.and still you have not really defied anything you want to discuss..if you want to dscuss your feelings, perhaps tell people in what way or wha it is you want to discuss about them.

Catalina

That's fine with me.

The point is I don't understand my feelings very well. I feel like there is something about submitting that would draw a ..look, I speak in analogies a lot so bear with me, draw a line for me to follow; break a mold that I was stuffed into by my upbringing, take me to a stronger place in me even though I fear and feel like I am being asked to give myself up. That was what I was trying to say. Do you find yourself by giving yourself up? I'm afraid that instead of just being vulnerable and taken to a new edge that I would somehow be anihilated (maybe because that's how the way I was raised felt). OK, how's that?

 

[Etoile]

Point taken on the better way to have a conversation, OK? What's so terrible about trying to kindle a conversation about a topic through a description of my feelings about it? why jump me? On pg 1 Rebecca wrote "as the ALTER of masculine" which I took to mean she was implying a man. She followed by telling me to get over myself, which seems pointedly unfriendly like much of the commentary that followed.

It was just a joke, hon. You said:

I don't know how better to describe it than to say that there is a power within my femininity the pinacle of which I feel certain I will not experience until it is revealed to me at the alter of masculine.

Rebecca took that last bit and made a joke, just saying "okay, who has the alt(er) so we can reveal it to her" or something like that. You reacted by accusing her of accusing you of being an alt. I don't think that's what she meant. Even if she did, it was just a joke. She didn't write "alter of masculine" - you did - and she found your accusation inappropriate, so she told you to get over yourself. It was just a joke that went awry. However, I think your kneejerk response may be what provoked some of the further discussion - so maybe we can all just calm down and start over, eh?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Point taken on the better way to have a conversation, OK? What's so terrible about trying to kindle a conversation about a topic through a description of my feelings about it? why jump me? On pg 1 Rebecca wrote "as the ALTER of masculine" which I took to mean she was implying a man. She followed by telling me to get over myself, which seems pointedly unfriendly like much of the commentary that followed.

I quoted from you directly , how on Earth you take you own words and channel them to my implicating something is stunning and not in a positive manner.

Please keep in mind that my quoting you came after this little vignette of commentry by yourself.

I AM A UNIQUE PERSON WITH A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE
THE IDEA THAT I AM SOME ALT PISSES ME OFF.... WHAT THE FUCK?

Now you portray yourself as the victim, you do cover ground temperanceless .

 

[temperanceless]

Let's jsut say that it was all knee jerk overreaction by me. Honestly, I feel so awkward trying to approach this subject that I am open to that. I'll try to lighten up and fit in.

 

[brioche]

Let's jsut say that it was all knee jerk overreaction by me. Honestly, I feel so awkward trying to approach this subject that I am open to that. I'll try to lighten up and fit in.

If I were you, I would start another thread trying to express your feelings in a more direct way and actually ask your questions or for help or whatever. Don't worry about fitting in. We don't want everyone to conform, we just want to know how to help.

 

[temperanceless]

If I were you, I would start another thread trying to express your feelings in a more direct way and actually ask your questions or for help or whatever. Don't worry about fitting in. We don't want everyone to conform, we just want to know how to help.

Thanks, I appreciate that

 

[brioche]

Thanks, I appreciate that

No problem hon, we were all new once.

 

[PsyDocG]

.....