Do you hide your sexual needs from your significant other?

[hulmule]

I've brought up my desires and needs to my partner. He's tried and he means well but he's not able to deliver what I want.
Hell, it's not even his fault. I'm still figuring out what I want. I can't expect him to get it immediately.
I've stopped bringing them up.

Why stop? if he's willing to listen and try things be happy.. Alot of our spouse's wont listen or even try. Help and teach him how to deliver

 

[Representingmyhotwife]

I haven't been able to openly express to her about my desires as we are going through a tough time. Hope this passes soon.

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

Why stop? if he's willing to listen and try things be happy.. Alot of our spouse's wont listen or even try. Help and teach him how to deliver

That was initially the plan.
We have other issues.

 

[Vitriolhack]

That was initially the plan.
We have other issues.

Thank you for answering, I hope you guys work it out. It does seem like you have a partner that you can talk to, and, that already is a lot. Keep the communication channels open, a breakthrough may be on the horizon.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Absolutely! The liberty to express myself, here, has given me a judge free zone I am very comfortable in. Well, except, that is, when I try to write a story. Then all the judges of the world, and then some, come out of the woodworks. LOL. Really glad I happened to come across this site. My practically sexless marriage can be very frustrating, until the wife decides to grace me with some release. Then the timer starts again. I had been so used to sex at least 4 or 5 times a week. Sloppy blowjobs, dirty talking anal sex and mind blowing fantasy role play with even dirtier talking, was the norm. Now vanilla sex, once about every two months, is really testing my patience. Hiding to stroke my meat to porn, dirty pics or Lit stories is my new norm. I sometimes even get myself off chatting with other men as we beat our meats while sharing fantasies or past experiences or even discussing the people who nudged us in this direction. Our wives. Though I am complaining, I do enjoy this. I just know I can never talk to my wife about it because I know she disapproves yet, still won’t become the private slut my cock needs her to be.

So, you know what you want her to be. Do you know what she wants you to be?

Maybe there is common ground here.

Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[PersonalFavors]

I think sex could be fun again if she would lose some weight. I try to keep my thoughts to myself. Sometimes trying for an 'old favorite' position she can't get in anymore gives me away.

 

[BlackLatin]

So, you know what you want her to be. Do you know what she wants you to be?

Maybe there is common ground here.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I think sex could be fun again if she would lose some weight. I try to keep my thoughts to myself. Sometimes trying for an 'old favorite' position she can't get in anymore gives me away.

I, personally, like the extra fat on my wife. It is such a turn on grabbing on her extra flesh or watching it jiggle. I do, however, share your pain with her not being as flexible. I use to love pinning her legs over her shoulders, giving full access to pound away at her pussy. Can’t do that anymore. I still love having sex with her, whenever she is in the mood.

 

[vibes]

Single here, but I would want my husband to feel comfortable being open about his wants and needs. As a wife, I would want to meet and exceed all of his needs, sexual or other. If he's good husband, it would be his right and my priveledge. Again, if he was a good husband.

Easy to say that when you're single

 

[skitzoid]

it's even worst when you do things in the past that were exciting. Now, nothing. And I mean nothing. Don't talk about it, don't do anything. It's as if somebody snuck up and pulled the plug. No sex, no romance, nothing. We have grown so far apart it's sad. And I can't figure out why. She won't talk about it but will watch TV all day. Very little gets done around the house. I have mentioned depression but "NO,, NOT HER " I'm the problem and she's perfect. Hell, she makes a mistake speaking and when I correct her, she's yelling at me telling me I'm wrong. All the time. Sorry, ,,, I went off on a tangent.

 

[Strixaluco]

. I use to love pinning her legs over her shoulders

Many people loose the ability to this all without excess fat, though. I needed extra stretching for that even when I was slim.

 

[Noor]

it's even worst when you do things in the past that were exciting. Now, nothing. And I mean nothing. Don't talk about it, don't do anything. It's as if somebody snuck up and pulled the plug. No sex, no romance, nothing. We have grown so far apart it's sad. And I can't figure out why. She won't talk about it but will watch TV all day. Very little gets done around the house. I have mentioned depression but "NO,, NOT HER " I'm the problem and she's perfect. Hell, she makes a mistake speaking and when I correct her, she's yelling at me telling me I'm wrong. All the time. Sorry, ,,, I went off on a tangent.

Can you get her out of the house, maybe walk a bit with her? They say that walking 45 mins a day helps depression and sexual feelings.

 

[Stoicbutfun]

I will admit that I have had more meaningful conversations on the lit chat with virtual strangers that with my wife.

Having tried to talk to her about it, I know how she would react and judge me.

I am not unhappy about the choices I have made, but, I am curious to know if others here are in the same boat I am in?

I can certainly relate to all that, I did try but had it thrown back at me from time to time, so Lit has been a great place to express myself and explore myself, I’m now divorced, and also happy with my choices, and looking forward to the future. Take care and the very best of luck too!

 

[Strixaluco]

Can you get her out of the house, maybe walk a bit with her? They say that walking 45 mins a day helps depression and sexual feelings.

45min may be too big goal to start with though. Sometimes even getting dressed to go out of the door can be a goal in itself.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I can certainly relate to all that, I did try but had it thrown back at me from time to time, so Lit has been a great place to express myself and explore myself, I’m now divorced, and also happy with my choices, and looking forward to the future. Take care and the very best of luck too!

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Vitriolhack]

45min may be too big goal to start with though. Sometimes even getting dressed to go out of the door can be a goal in itself.

Hang in there buddy.

 

[Noor]

45min may be too big goal to start with though. Sometimes even getting dressed to go out of the door can be a goal in itself.

True, you’d have to work upto it. Maybe a few bribes, ice cream?

 

[Strixaluco]

Hang in there buddy.

Oh I'm doing ok, don't worry. (My issues are elsewhere )

True, you’d have to work upto it. Maybe a few bribes, ice cream?

Just need to start with babysteps. I've heard that at worst, getting dressed for a going out is the first goal (at least in my climate, where 9 months of the the year you're nor going out in only your indoor clothes.) Then, maybe the next time, going out, too. Maybe then actually walking around the block.

Though actually, even for a deeply depressed person, getting dressed may lead to thinking "oh well, I guess I can go outside just as well now". Which is kind of the trick.

Except for neurodivergent peoples the actually transition from sitting on the sofa to doing something may sometimes be enough of a load to counteract the benefits of being outside and walking. (I was always wondering why walking didn't do much for me. It just took over 24h to recover. Thinking back, I had autistic burnout and that may need different approach to recovery.)

 

[PersonalFavors]

I, personally, like the extra fat on my wife. It is such a turn on grabbing on her extra flesh or watching it jiggle. I do, however, share your pain with her not being as flexible. I use to love pinning her legs over her shoulders, giving full access to pound away at her pussy. Can’t do that anymore. I still love having sex with her, whenever she is in the mood.

I pretty much have to act like it is not there. Touching commenting grabbing jiggling are non-starters. The extra on the thighs sometimes is in the right place where my balls pat against it or get stuck and grind. Makes me cum real quick like I'm brand new.

 

[dkak001]

I pretty much have to act like it is not there. Touching commenting grabbing jiggling are non-starters. The extra on the thighs sometimes is in the right place where my balls pat against it or get stuck and grind. Makes me cum real quick like I'm brand new.

So, I'm assuming she's not comfortable with it? That sort of stuff bothers me, because she should be comfortable in her own skin with you no matter what.

My wife has added some cushion, and needed reassuring it was all good. I think she's comfortable now, or at least she is around me. Bigger or smaller, she's still who want to spend time with.

 

[fredrock]

You dont have to hide them when your ignored..

 

[Vitriolhack]

You dont have to hide them when your ignored..

Hopefully 2025 will bring you both some light.

 

[Britva415]

You dont have to hide them when your ignored..

You don't have to, no, but, I wouldn't be surprised if you still do anyway - rather than expressing them for her to go ahead and ignore.

(Read that as a generic "you" - I don't know your personal situation.)

I express that I have needs, and it's safe to do so because she knows I don't expect (or even want) her to satisfy them. Extramarital agreement saves the day, and, I wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't dared to express needs.

 

[fredrock]

You don't have to, no, but, I wouldn't be surprised if you still do anyway - rather than expressing them for her to go ahead and ignore.

(Read that as a generic "you" - I don't know your personal situation.)

I express that I have needs, and it's safe to do so because she knows I don't expect (or even want) her to satisfy them. Extramarital agreement saves the day, and, I wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't dared to express needs.

Well said.

 

[Vitriolhack]

You don't have to, no, but, I wouldn't be surprised if you still do anyway - rather than expressing them for her to go ahead and ignore.

(Read that as a generic "you" - I don't know your personal situation.)

I express that I have needs, and it's safe to do so because she knows I don't expect (or even want) her to satisfy them. Extramarital agreement saves the day, and, I wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't dared to express needs.

By agreement, do you mean to say that you and her have come to agreement?

 

[TruthSeeker12345]

I will admit that I have had more meaningful conversations on the lit chat with virtual strangers that with my wife.

Having tried to talk to her about it, I know how she would react and judge me.

I am not unhappy about the choices I have made, but, I am curious to know if others here are in the same boat I am in?

One way to communicate your needs is to consider a mutual masturbation session. Sex therapists recommend mutual masturbation to build intimacy. It also aids the partners in the couple to discover what arouses the other partner and how to actual perform the arousal. Of course, both partners have to agree that this is a good approach beforehand.