Do you ever get tired of being misunderstood?

[Silverlily]

I am a dominant. I am a sadist. I have a dark and twisted imagination and the inclination to act on it.

I do not mistreat my sub. I do not abuse my sub. I don't not destroy, trash, or otherwise damage (permanently) anyone. I do nothing without clear consent and anything I throw off kilter, I restore before I leave.

I am tired of the comments from those that do not, can not, and will not understand. I'm smart enough to keep much to myself, but even well meaning comments from friends carry a sting. I am not a monster. I am not depraved and in need of serious psychiatric care.

So I possess the skill to ensure the outcome is to my satsifaction, so what? How does this make me any different than a competent broker, salesperson, or doctor? Rather than money or lives, I run my dealings in kink. It's all trade, tit for tat.

Don't insult my partner either. He gives freely of himself willingly. I hold nothing over him other than the ability to put him in subspace. There is no extortion or threat. My side is useless without his, but this symbiosis does not make him weak or less than a man. It only makes him submissive. He is stronger than you know.

[/vent]

Thank you


So, anyone else having one of those days?

 

[Vixandra]

Not having a day quite that bad, unless you count a dreadful cold.

But I get tired of the "are you depraved" or "Will you be this (insert male sub title)'s Mistress?"

Wish people would read profiles better. I fail to see how looking for a female sub or bottom means I want every idiot male out there to send me a form letter.
Or that I need a Dom to straighten me out because women only play at being dominant.

So for putting up with the idiots. Just remember- they tend to get thier idiocy back later on, be it in the form of a Darwin award or something else. Karma and all that jazz.

 

[DwayneDibley]

@silverlilly, interesting points! I'm trying to understand the nuances of the BDSM thing myself, as I'm a new and fairly inexperienced Dom myself, although my GF isn't my 'slave' except when we do a scene. I very much doubt we'll get to the same level as you (she otherwise is the dominant and bossy one, this is when I can get my own back!) But I enjoy the power I have over her, doing what I want to her body and generally being nasty. But is is within pre-agreed limits and a look or certain noise means I've gone too far with something and will back off a little.

This is the thread I started on BDSM lifestyle, don't know if any of it helps or is informative for you

 

[Silverlily]

Or that I need a Dom to straighten me out because women only play at being dominant.

Those kill me. I'm convinced it's nothing more than a case of a sub-standard Mr. Winkie. A friend and I call said "doms" Cocktail Winkies. *snicker*




Thanks Dwayne, but it's really just a case of blowing some steam before someone loses a head.

 

[Vixandra]

Those kill me. I'm convinced it's nothing more than a case of a sub-standard Mr. Winkie. A friend and I call said "doms" Cocktail Winkies. *snicker*

Mind if I use that one? Cocktail Winkies, LOL.

 

[Silverlily]

Mind if I use that one? Cocktail Winkies, LOL.

Help yourself, but don't blame me if you start getting weird toothpick ideas.

*grin*

 

[Vixandra]

Help yourself, but don't blame me if you start getting weird toothpick ideas.

*grin*

I already get those, LOL. Not specifically toothpick ideas, more of a wooden steak ideas but similar thought path.

 

[Silverlily]

I already get those, LOL. Not specifically toothpick ideas, more of a wooden steak ideas but similar thought path.

Think of all the neat places a toothpick can go, though.

Entirely too risky to actually do, but no harm in thinking about it.

 

[Aeroil]

I get misunderstood all the time lol, 'cept it's usually me accidentaly offending someone.
Some people are just stupid Silverlily, just say to the abyss with them and don't pay them any heed.

 

[SweetDommes]

Wish people would read profiles better. I fail to see how looking for a female sub or bottom means I want every idiot male out there to send me a form letter.
Or that I need a Dom to straighten me out because women only play at being dominant.

Hell, we are looking for male subs and we don't want every idiot male with a form letter to contact us
And yes, we get those "cocktail winkies" too LOL (that is just priceless Lily ).

Oh, and aeroil - just because we need to blow off some steam sometimes doesn't mean that we are really letting it get to us. Everyone needs to vent sometimes, and this is a damn good place to do so - especially when the vent is on a topic like this.

 

[Aeroil]

Hell, we are looking for male subs and we don't want every idiot male with a form letter to contact us
And yes, we get those "cocktail winkies" too LOL (that is just priceless Lily ).

Oh, and aeroil - just because we need to blow off some steam sometimes doesn't mean that we are really letting it get to us. Everyone needs to vent sometimes, and this is a damn good place to do so - especially when the vent is on a topic like this.

Lol, yes Karen I know, I worry way too much, it's annoying and I kinda wish I could stop, but it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Misunderstood? Yeah...it happens.....alot. I've given up, for the most part, with the world at large. Sphynx understands, <shrug> other than that I don't think there's anyone in my day to day life that has any idea about things. Hell, there's only one or two other people(that I've met IRL) that have any idea of tis part of my life. So yeah you could say I got tired of being misuderstood.

 

[schmerzgarten]

May I have one of those toothpicks....

May I have one of those toothpicks so that I can jab myself in the eye? While there are tons of wonderful people who participate in BDSM social gatherings, the rare few jackass winkie Doms have the ability to affect my mood like a crack addict throwing up aids infested flem in front of more door. Lord I'm grumpy today!

 

[HerVeryOwn]

Allow them to misunderstand, because they will do so no matter what you do--at least until you've found a good hiding place for their bodies (today, Wendy's; tomorrow, Carl's Jr.).

 

[oddity83]

A few narrow minded people can really get under your skin.

 

[Guest]

Think of all the neat places a toothpick can go, though.

Entirely too risky to actually do, but no harm in thinking about it.

Hmmmm Risky indeed....'specially when you light the damn things..

 

[Marquis]

I am a dominant. I am a sadist. I have a dark and twisted imagination and the inclination to act on it.

I do not mistreat my sub. I do not abuse my sub. I don't not destroy, trash, or otherwise damage (permanently) anyone. I do nothing without clear consent and anything I throw off kilter, I restore before I leave.

I am tired of the comments from those that do not, can not, and will not understand. I'm smart enough to keep much to myself, but even well meaning comments from friends carry a sting. I am not a monster. I am not depraved and in need of serious psychiatric care.

So I possess the skill to ensure the outcome is to my satsifaction, so what? How does this make me any different than a competent broker, salesperson, or doctor? Rather than money or lives, I run my dealings in kink. It's all trade, tit for tat.

Don't insult my partner either. He gives freely of himself willingly. I hold nothing over him other than the ability to put him in subspace. There is no extortion or threat. My side is useless without his, but this symbiosis does not make him weak or less than a man. It only makes him submissive. He is stronger than you know.

[/vent]

Thank you


So, anyone else having one of those days?

I hear you babe.

I'm surprised to hear it's as bad for females to be honest.

 

[Silverlily]

I hear you babe.

I'm surprised to hear it's as bad for females to be honest.

I think it's worse for women. We're supposed to be nice and nurturing, especially when we're also moms.

I can be nurturing (sort of ) but I have a bitch streak a mile wide and I'm not afraid to use it. And apparently "that's bad".

*shrug* Whatever. In the end, I'm not about to change, deal with it or don't.



A pox on the narrow minded, you know? *grin* Or some flaming toothpicks, either works.




edit - Let me rephrase that slightly, I think it's worse when it happens to women for the above reasons. I do think men get singled out more often.

 

[KarlMartinK]

Wish people would read profiles better. I fail to see how looking for a female sub or bottom means I want every idiot male out there to send me a form letter.
Or that I need a Dom to straighten me out because women only play at being dominant.

So for putting up with the idiots. Just remember- they tend to get thier idiocy back later on, be it in the form of a Darwin award or something else. Karma and all that jazz.

This is exactly why I rarely ever contact anyone with a PM or e-mail, unless it's just to ask a question or pay them a compliment of some kind.

I wonder if these people are using the saturation technique - making multiple attempts and hoping to get one or two responses.

 

[bullaford]

Today I was called a "controlling abusive asshole" and if her man had blah blah something she would have peed her pants, I don't know I quit listening. Why you ask .. because my sweetbaby (who had a pretty nasty bite mark on her neck, which was covered but she had pulled her hair up in a clip and neither of us thought about it) looked at me in the grocery store and said ... get ready, this will surely offend everyone .... "Daddy, may I have some oranges" Yes, yes, I know, how could I possibly mistreat her so

 

[DVS]

I'm totally misunderstood. Not for the same reasons, obviously, but still misunderstood, just the same. People jump to conclussions, interrupt you when they think they know what you're saying, they always have a story that's better or worse than yours is good or bad, and they even think they are your best friend.

The world's full of these people. And, unfortunately, they are having kids. So, there's going to be another generation. Plan on being misunderstood for a while longer.

Sorry.

 

[timberwolf05]

Silverlily

So, anyone else having one of those days?
===========

hey. i'm a 60's child. do your own thing man........

wolfie

 

[shy slave]

Had one of those days last Saturday.

Long time friend (20yrs) came to see me.
I know he has always liked me but nothing has ever really happened bewtween us. He did try once but his nerve and other things failed him.

Basically on Saturday, he wanted sex

I explained that was not an option and tried to explain where my life was now.

He thought Andante had hypotised me or I had joined some cult.

He could not believe the bossy, assertive, difficult, stubborn woman he knew would willingly be involved in all of 'this'

The more I tried to explain I submitted willingly the more convinced he became that I had been 'changed' in some way.

Nor could he believe I have been involved in BDSM prior to meeting Andante and it was more than just 'playing'

In the end I said, ok I will ask him if you can have sex with me but he has to be there to look after me.

Needless to say his desire disappeared almost immediately lol

 

[His_pita]

When I first started thinking about real life D/s with my Dom I wanted to hide and not tell anyone what we were doing. I was so crazed that someone would think my collar was a submissive collar. Drove my Dom nuts with all the different collars I would send him.

He talked of a collaring ceremony and us having friends and family there and I was horrified. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself and be called a kinky freak.

He has sent me high heels to practice in and has told me how I will dress once were together. At first that caused problems. Again because I don’t want the unwanted attention.

Well that was several months ago and my attitude is greatly changed. I just don’t care anymore if anyone understands or not. I love my Dom and I have never been prouder of anything in my life as I am to be his submissive. He is my Daddy, my Dom, my Joe and I love all of him and he loves all of me.

If anyone doesn’t like it then oh well. Recently I was called a doormat. That so made me laugh. Never in my life have I been treated with so much respect as I am now by my Dom.

My sister couldn't believe I was trying to learn to walk in heels. Said I can't let this man try to change me. I just smiled at her and said, "You don't have to understand my realationship anymore then I have to understand yours."

 

[Marquis]

Truly inspirational post.

When I first started thinking about real life D/s with my Dom I wanted to hide and not tell anyone what we were doing. I was so crazed that someone would think my collar was a submissive collar. Drove my Dom nuts with all the different collars I would send him.

He talked of a collaring ceremony and us having friends and family there and I was horrified. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself and be called a kinky freak.

He has sent me high heels to practice in and has told me how I will dress once were together. At first that caused problems. Again because I don’t want the unwanted attention.

Well that was several months ago and my attitude is greatly changed. I just don’t care anymore if anyone understands or not. I love my Dom and I have never been prouder of anything in my life as I am to be his submissive. He is my Daddy, my Dom, my Joe and I love all of him and he loves all of me.

If anyone doesn’t like it then oh well. Recently I was called a doormat. That so made me laugh. Never in my life have I been treated with so much respect as I am now by my Dom.

My sister couldn't believe I was trying to learn to walk in heels. Said I can't let this man try to change me. I just smiled at her and said, "You don't have to understand my realationship anymore then I have to understand yours."