Do women like rough men, particularly being slapped(during play)

[Showmewhatchugot84]

I love dom/sub play, sometimes I love to be submissive but lately been in a very dominant mood. I mostly like restraints and teasing but have been more and more fascinated with rough play. I'm curious if women really like it. Are ladies out there that really into having their faces slapped? I love the idea of their hands tied behind their back. Fucking their pretty mouth. Pulling them off my cock by a handful of hair and slapping them before jamming my cock down their throat(strictly fantasy at this point). I'm curious if this really turns women on or if it's just misogynistic bullshit portrayed by the porno industry. To the normal eye I am a kind and sensitive guy but lately this urge to let this side out of me has been growing. Would love some feedback from the women on both sides, if their are any that really love it or think it's just despicable bullshit.

Thanks for taking the time to read a little into my mind

 

[JessGabriel]

I have before. My former Master was really into that and some even rougher stuff. I loved it because I gave him the freedom to get what he needed and it turned him on so much. We had many intense, wonderful sessions like that. I love some sting and pain, so it wasn't a big stretch for me.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I have before. My former Master was really into that and some even rougher stuff. I loved it because I gave him the freedom to get what he needed and it turned him on so much. We had many intense, wonderful sessions like that. I love some sting and pain, so it wasn't a big stretch for me.

How powerful did you feel giving yourself up for that pleasure knowing you could take it back any time if situations changed?

 

[JessGabriel]

How powerful did you feel giving yourself up for that pleasure knowing you could take it back any time if situations changed?

It was amazing. I love that feeling.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

It was amazing. I love that feeling.

The first time I fully submitted to a Master was epic.
Forever forged in my brain.

 

[JessGabriel]

The first time I fully submitted to a Master was epic.
Forever forged in my brain.

It's a really special feeling and connection. Like the ultimate intimacy.

 

[Filipinawife]

I only submitted to a dominant guy once

 

[TandT69]

Do guys like getting hit over the head with a hammer? Cuz thats what would happen to you if you ever slapped or spanked or choked this woman! And it wouldnt be lightly!

 

[nerobixx]

Some do, some don't..

 

[Islander55]

I like enthusiasm but do not want to be slapped, pinched, choked, etc. I need to be ready but I will let you know when. I like to be taken and I like to feel his need. I like to feel a man's weight on me and I like to take every bit of him and it has been many years since I have asked a man to pull out.

 

[UtilityCurve]

it has been many years since I have asked a man to pull out.

Fortunately (for me at least), I have never been asked. Maybe I'm insufficiently imaginative, but under what circumstances would you? The stories here on Lit often rely on withdrawal as a contraceptive technique, but I have always thought of it as playing Russian roulette with five slugs in the revolver: Neither I nor my partners ever used it and yes, we did do the risky sometimes, so it wasn't that we were scrupulous about prevention, just that leaving the party early seemed like such an ineffective effort that we would either go the distance (damn the consequences) or do something that didn't involve tab P in slot V.

 

[magicalmoments]

In my experience there are a very small number of women out there who a turned on by true rough play as described by you.

If you want to meet them you need to join a BDSM on-line social group and use this as your means to meet likely partners. I do not recommend trying to find someone suitable from within your normal social contacts/work colleages etc. When putting yourself out there and establishing your profile be totally honest with your fantasies/needs/expectations. Don't be tempted to attract potential partners by pretending to be something you're not. Having made contact with someone you need to do three things. Firstly, be totally honest. Secondly, listen to her. Focus on her desires, fantasies, expectations. Make sure you understand them. Thirdly, if you don't find an exact fit to your fantasies, and being realistic you probably won't, then adapt yours to her needs and stay within her limits.

Good Luck

 

[Islander55]

Fortunately (for me at least), I have never been asked. Maybe I'm insufficiently imaginative, but under what circumstances would you? The stories here on Lit often rely on withdrawal as a contraceptive technique, but I have always thought of it as playing Russian roulette with five slugs in the revolver: Neither I nor my partners ever used it and yes, we did do the risky sometimes, so it wasn't that we were scrupulous about prevention, just that leaving the party early seemed like such an ineffective effort that we would either go the distance (damn the consequences) or do something that didn't involve tab P in slot V.

You are correct. This was back in the young and dumb days of my first year in college. We were horny, didn't have a condom. OK but you have to pull out when you cum. Fortunately I was lucky. Later a friend did set me straight. She told me that was what my ass was for.

 

[policywank]

Keep in mind that any submissive who enjoys rough sex (of whatever variety) needs to trust their partner including their attitude and intent. I tend to be more dominant and as such I try to pay very close attention to my own mindset. Role play is fun and exercising my control over my partner is part of that including in a very rough way. But if I find myself having negative or disrespectful thoughts about my partner or feel as though I am using them as an outlet for negative emotions, that is not ok.

The dynamics of domination and submission are often complex. What is or isn't ok varies by partner and circumstance. But the constant is a level of caring and respect. It is never ok to victimize someone. And I think it is difficult for that not to be the case if you are in it solely as a selfish outlet. Even if all you want is to stuff your cock down someone's throat and all she wants is to have someone stuff their cock down her throat, the absence of respect will lead to a bad outcome.

 

[littlecordelera]

It's despicable bullshit. It is a classical demonstration of male insecurity, which has become endemic here in the United States.

 

[AlwaysInTrouble]

It's despicable bullshit. It is a classical demonstration of male insecurity, which has become endemic here in the United States.

Thanks for doing your part to keep Lit a judgment-free zone.

 

[TandT69]

Thanks for doing your part to keep Lit a judgment-free zone.

Im thinking she just stated her opinion like many women do here. I also find it sickening and degrading to slap. Spank, spit, and choke a woman under any circumstance! Like I stated above, if you want to get hammered on the head, try any of those to me. i promise, it will be the last time you try it! Nuff said

 

[magicalmoments]

Im thinking she just stated her opinion like many women do here. I also find it sickening and degrading to slap. Spank, spit, and choke a woman under any circumstance! Like I stated above, if you want to get hammered on the head, try any of those to me. i promise, it will be the last time you try it! Nuff said

I was taught at college that an opinion required an understanding of all sides of an issue. You gather all sides of an argument, all the facts, balance up the pros and cons, apply your standards and values, and express an opinion. And an opinion is just that, one persons view of the world, not wrong or right, just an opinion. Anything less is just an emotional response to a stimuli, an outburst.
The fact is that there are some, admittedly very few, women out there who are turned on by rough treatment during sex. With some its only a fantasy, with others its the real thing. That's a fact. Its also a fact that there are some women who would smack a guy in the head with a hammer if they tried to rough them up during sex. These people exist and like all facts cannot be denied.
The "opinion" you are defending reeks of an emotional outburst, a gut response, a lack of understanding that her view of the world is not shared by everyone. It doesn't deserve to be classified as an opinion.

 

[Lady2020]

No.

 

[UtilityCurve]

I weigh in cautiously.

May I suggest that the sweet spot of disapproval is " I find it disgusting but you do you, just not with me."

It's colloquial, and often called out, but there are many, many posts here that start "Do women like?"

Maybe some dullards think there are universals among women, but experience should have disabused them of that belief. What they  ought to ask is "Do  any women like?"

So long as someone doesn't lie or offer his or her own universal, the answer to such a question is going to be unarguably correct. I am not a woman, but if someone were to ask "Do men like when a woman says 'I'll just have a salad' at a steakhouse?," I am unarguably correct when I answer "I am not impressed." I know my own mind. If I know my brother-in-law is cool to the idea too, I am unarguably correct when I say "He is not, either." But I'll not speak for anyone else.

That is what I think is intended by "Do men?"--if a man or a man or woman who knows one or more men's minds on the topic answers with "Well, my ex did," well, men  do or at least one does.

The question is meant as "Do  any men," not "do all men," or at least that's the benefit of the doubt I give a questioner.

So when it comes to squicky things, I try to make clear who it is I presume to speak for. But when I do not, I hope everyone does me the favor of taking my answer as a personal one.

No one is entitled to have his other opinion seconded, only respected as the expression of another, equal human being. But no one in a public forum, no matter how "inclusive," "supportive"or "affirming," is entitled to silence either: If you put your kink out there for me to see, I insist on an absolute right to say "ugh,  gross." And you should know, if it says "UtilityCurve" at the top of the post, I am saying only that "I find it gross," not that it is always, everywhere and for everyone gross. For starters, the OP, whoever it may be, doesn't think it so. I respect that, even if I would vomit if I gave it too much consideration.

Long essay. But I've lived too long, seen and heard too much to think that 99.999% of the trouble in the world is caused by people who insist theirs is the only acceptable opinion, whether I think them saints or sinners. When they step into my garden, I'll speak up, but in their own homes or places where we are equal in every way, I will hold my tongue or make it perfectly clear, I speak for me, not the Truth.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

I like being overpowered but draw the line at hitting or choking. That just feels hostile and misogynistic and is a major turn-off.

As Islander55 said above, it can be hot to be “taken” and feeling his weight on top of me is a huge turn-on. Also having my wrists pinned over my head, and really being pounded. But if I get the slightest hint that that he’s taking out his anger on me, any arousal I’m feeling immediately evaporates.

Even language matters. Being called a whore or a slut during sex is a huge turn-on, but “bitch” is an instant mood-killer.

 

[Showmewhatchugot84]

Thanks for doing your part to keep Lit a judgment-free zone.

I dont find this as judgement, my original post did ask to hear both sides. It's a sensitive subject in a very sensitive world. I'd say so far between the posts here and a few PMs I have received its one of those things were you either really despise it or really love it.

to clarify, I would never slap or choke anyone on a whim they may or may not like it. If it were to ever leave the fantasy realm to reality they would have to tell me to do it to them.

 

[littlecordelera]

To all you boys who got your feelings hurt by my comment, let me explain my "view of the world."

I can't go for a run without getting multiple cat calls. I can't go to the grocery store without guys looking at me like I'm just another cut in the meat section.

About a month ago, my husband and I went out for dinner. While he was talking to the hostess to get us a table, I was standing near the bar, where three guys kept giving me inappropriate looks and obviously talking about me. One of them said to the others, "I'd let her rim me." OMFG! Arrogance on the grandest of scales from a guy for whom the chances of just getting laid are pretty remote. He was just another asshole trying to look "macho" in front of his "friends."

I was crossing the parking lot heading into a Panera Bread when this absolutely massive black truck stops and the guy hangs out the window. "Hey, darlin," he called out in his redneck twang. I ignored him and kept walking. "Hey, darlin!" he said louder. I just kept walking. Finally, he shouted, "Fuck you, bitch!" There were two guys in the truck. The "brave" ones are always in a group.

And then there's here! I have guys who have been sending me PM's, literally, for years in hopes that we will meet. And I've been ignoring those PM's for years. They still send them! I told them years ago that I'm not interested. WTF?

How many more stories do you need? I could write a novel. What ever happened to common decency and respect? Why do so many guys think that the world revolves around their pleasure? Why can't I just go buy groceries without feeling like I'm about to be assaulted?

Why would any guy get aroused by treating a woman in the manner expressed in this thread? That alone makes a very strong statement about some people's view of the world.

 

[Showmewhatchugot84]

To all you boys who got your feelings hurt by my comment, let me explain my "view of the world."

I can't go for a run without getting multiple cat calls. I can't go to the grocery store without guys looking at me like I'm just another cut in the meat section.

About a month ago, my husband and I went out for dinner. While he was talking to the hostess to get us a table, I was standing near the bar, where three guys kept giving me inappropriate looks and obviously talking about me. One of them said to the others, "I'd let her rim me." OMFG! Arrogance on the grandest of scales from a guy for whom the chances of just getting laid are pretty remote. He was just another asshole trying to look "macho" in front of his "friends."

I was crossing the parking lot heading into a Panera Bread when this absolutely massive black truck stops and the guy hangs out the window. "Hey, darlin," he called out in his redneck twang. I ignored him and kept walking. "Hey, darlin!" he said louder. I just kept walking. Finally, he shouted, "Fuck you, bitch!" There were two guys in the truck. The "brave" ones are always in a group.

And then there's here! I have guys who have been sending me PM's, literally, for years in hopes that we will meet. And I've been ignoring those PM's for years. They still send them! I told them years ago that I'm not interested. WTF?

How many more stories do you need? I could write a novel. What ever happened to common decency and respect? Why do so many guys think that the world revolves around their pleasure? Why can't I just go buy groceries without feeling like I'm about to be assaulted?

Why would any guy get aroused by treating a woman in the manner expressed in this thread? That alone makes a very strong statement about some people's view of the world.

I think you are right to have your view on this and I support it. I think anyone that treats women like this unprovoked is sick. But their are women out there that do enjoy it and ask for it. Their view, as well as yours, are all very valid. I was asking more so as an agreed upon fantasy to play out not as a man forcing it upon a woman.

I also agree with early comments on a man using it to release their anger or emotions on someone else. That is not playing out a fantasy it is abuse. I understand it's a fine line and up for interpretation but I can't stress enough I'm talking two consenting adults, not forced or abuse.

 

[UtilityCurve]

This is the most productive and thoughtful thread I have ever read on Lit.

Thank you to all posters and reactors (I'm sure it's a legit usage, if exceedingly rare since 1942 [first controlled nuclear chain reaction, Chicago]).

Respect clear-cuts a wide swath through the thicket of human interactions and leaves a path only the worst of us would choose to ignore.