Do we really need all these numbers?

[Thomas Drablézien]

"She was 18, 5'6", 120lbs and 38DD - 22 - 34" or "he had an 8.5 inch cock". Do these people perpetually walk around with tape measures in their pockets?

For me at least, when I come across such examples of numerical exactitude within a story. I find it at best irritating, or at worst offensive to my intelligence as a reader and demonstrating a paucity of descriptive vocabulary and lack of imagination on the part of the author of said story. Particularly when such numerical descriptions are used repeatedly, sometimes relentlessly, throughout the narrative. OK, now that I know he has a huge cock, or she has big tits, you don't need to keep telling me just exactly how big they are!

OK, I admit it I am having a bit of a rant about one of my pet hates.

I do not deny that on occasion some numerical exactitude is necessary within the narrative. For example, let's say, in a story that deals with the unnatural enhancement, surgical or otherwise, of certain bodily attributes. Or, as in the case of: "Oh my god it's huge! Just how big is it?" "Well, 10 inches last time I measured it" ...

For me this is perfectly OK. However with such a wide range of adjectives to be chosen from and imaginatively used, why do these cases of "38DD tits" or "8.5 inch cock" appear so frequently in erotic stories?

Is it a fact that we authors, as a result of the 'Dumbing Down' propagated by the news and broadcast media over so many years, feel the need to treat our readers as 'just not very bright'. Or is it that we ourselves have been dulled by that same relentless onslaught?

Thank you for your time.

Please discuss.

Munchy

 

[Darkniciad]

You'll be hard pressed to find anyone here using a police bulletin description, or even a cup size. It's just something that makes sense when you first start out -- and easy way to convey exactly what you're imagining to the reader.

It's an amateur site, and you're sure to run across a lot of newcomers still taking the easy way.

 

[rgraham666]

Numbers are always a back click for me when I read stories here on Lit.

Stories, even the porn on here, is about emotion. And numbers are abut as far from emotion as you can get.

 

[Thomas Drablézien]

...It's an amateur site, and you're sure to run across a lot of newcomers still taking the easy way.

Good point well put!

But I still think that it behoves us even in our first most tentative first steps to stretch our imagination just a little bit.

Is it really so hard to use words like: "big", "huge", "monster", "full", "well-rounded", "heavy" etc, etc. In place of those numbers?

Not that I intend to attack people for this "error". As I said its just a pet hate.

 

[Thomas Drablézien]

Or is it that perhaps I am jealous that I don't sport a "monster cock" the dimensions of which I have checked meticulously and am driven by the need to report these measurements to any one who will listen over and over again. LMAO

Sorry that was a little uncalled for. But erotica and even more so porn stories do seem to be disproportionately populated with extravagantly oversized cocks and tits.

My own 'little man' has served me faithfully for many years thanks

Now I realise that I have gone off topic on my own thread oops!

 

[rgraham666]

I don't worry about what the ladies think of my cock.

I have written testimony.

 

[Katiecat]

I really don't like reading a stats list in a story, either -- to me, it's about as sexy as reading the back of a baseball card. Sometimes it's a bit funny, especially when the numbers listed make no sense -- "she was a gorgeous, blue-eyed blonde, 38-22-34, 5' 10", 112 lbs, huge natural DD's..." Yeah, as if the poor dear could even stand upright balancing those enormous mammaries on her obviously skeletal frame I think somebody's been taking the Playmate of the Month info sheets a little too literally...

But there's something for everybody, I guess, and some readers really like that mental tape measure. For the holiday story contest, I wrote a tender, romantic, loving, first time story, and got some solid, positive feedback on it. But one of the anonymous emails I received stated, "would love to of [sic] known the size of his dick". Okay...

"As Dave unzipped his pants and reeled out his massive ten-inch shlong, Carrie's eyes widened in shock and terror. She scrabbled backwards across the sheets, desperately protecting her virginity with both hands..."

Hey, that could be a good start to an Erotic Horror themed story...maybe for the 2009 Halloween Contest...

 

[jomar]

Unless you're doing humor/satire it's best to leave the numbers out. Stuff like 'her jugs were as big as over inflated volleyballs,' or 'his forearm sized pleasure probe plowed her quivering quim' should also probably follow the same advice.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I'm one of the few people in the AH that doesn't mind them.

 

[Darkniciad]

Check out my LST3K series as Darkniciad ( Blatant, shameless plug )

I've had a lot of success making fun of stories full of oversized parts, outrageous situations, and just downright silly tales *laugh*

 

[KarennaC]

Unless you're doing humor/satire it's best to leave the numbers out. Stuff like 'her jugs were as big as over inflated volleyballs,' or 'his forearm sized pleasure probe plowed her quivering quim' should also probably follow the same advice.

Ooh, those are good, in a horrible, cringe-worthy sort of way!

How about "He slid his love-sword into her velvet-lined sheath of lust?"

 

[rgraham666]

It's hard to beat 'I kiked down the door and cummed in her face' though.

 

[Safe_Bet]

The only time I can ever see numbers to be justified is if you have a story which needs you to state that your character is at least eighteen to comply with the posting requirements (i.e. eighteen and a senior in high school). Even then it should ALWAYS be spelled out rather than using the numbers.

 

[neonlyte]

"She was 18, 5'6", 120lbs and 38DD - 22 - 34" or "he had an 8.5 inch cock". Do these people perpetually walk around with tape measures in their pockets?

Munchy

It really depends upon whether or not your pocket has a hole. I've got 12"... but I don't use it as a rule

 

[Safe_Bet]

It's hard to beat 'I kiked down the door and cummed in her face' though.

Don't forget to mention that it was two quarts of jizz that he "cummed in her face" from his 14" cock that was as big around as a two liter soda bottle...

 

[Cattypuss]

I tend to avoid describing people physically at all in my stories (with the inevitable couple of exceptions to prove the rule) and even when I do describe what someone looks like it tends to be vague. Although I did mentoin 7.5 inches in a recent story cos it was true and seemed justified at that moment in the story, to add to the feeling I was describing.

Generally I think the biggest turn-on is always a description of people's actions and feelings. Let the reader imagine what the characters look like, I say!

 

[fieryjen]

And then there's Shang's Fibonacci's Window.

Couldn't resist, as this one's one of my all-time favorites.

 

[jomar]

Ooh, those are good, in a horrible, cringe-worthy sort of way!

How about "He slid his love-sword into her velvet-lined sheath of lust?"

She screamed in rapture and lustily clawed his abs, rock hard from hours in the gym, with her blood red 2-inch nails.


I see a big H for this story.

 

[NoJo]

Personally I find the use of scientific precision in erotica to be a turn-on. One particular story I read actually used the Van Luschen scale to describe the skin colour of the girl ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Felix_von_Luschan_Skin_Color_chart.svg).

 

[_Modern_Geisha_]

My favourite number is 32 or 69 hehe

 

[rgraham666]

And then there's Shang's Fibonacci's Window.

Couldn't resist, as this one's one of my all-time favorites.

I love it too. It's amazing what the horse can do with words and ideas.

 

[scouries]

[size=+2]Do we really need all these numbers? [/size]

Perhaps a better question might be: Do we need thread after thread after endless thread on this subject?

I'd guess Miss Munchy that I've seen at least 50 threads on this subject over the last 3 years. Minimum. I always wonder when I see one of these threads if it’s the same clown posting the thread under different ALTS.

And the same AHers post the same thing in response.

Cup size! Cock size! in actual numbers! On a porn site!

"You mean you think our readers are at all concerned about penile dimensions? About how big a girls tits are?" they post.

"A good writer would never use actual numbers," they proclaim from their lofty perches.

BULLSHIT!!! There are times to use them and times not to. Get over your elitism and read some real books - you might just find that numbers are used all the time by our greatest authors...
​

I’m james r scouries, and I approve this message…

 

[Stella_Omega]

And then there's Shang's Fibonacci's Window.

Couldn't resist, as this one's one of my all-time favorites.

Oh yeah!

But that story was written as part of a Cardinal Sins Of Writing exercise-- deliberate use of measurements.

 

[sr71plt]

The only time I can ever see numbers to be justified is if you have a story which needs you to state that your character is at least eighteen to comply with the posting requirements (i.e. eighteen and a senior in high school). Even then it should ALWAYS be spelled out rather than using the numbers.

The "only way?" You wouldn't use it in dialogue by a juvenile-minded character who thinks in those terms--to help set that character?

 

[Boxlicker101]

"She was 18, 5'6", 120lbs and 38DD - 22 - 34" or "he had an 8.5 inch cock". Do these people perpetually walk around with tape measures in their pockets?

For me at least, when I come across such examples of numerical exactitude within a story. I find it at best irritating, or at worst offensive to my intelligence as a reader and demonstrating a paucity of descriptive vocabulary and lack of imagination on the part of the author of said story. Particularly when such numerical descriptions are used repeatedly, sometimes relentlessly, throughout the narrative. OK, now that I know he has a huge cock, or she has big tits, you don't need to keep telling me just exactly how big they are!

OK, I admit it I am having a bit of a rant about one of my pet hates.

I do not deny that on occasion some numerical exactitude is necessary within the narrative. For example, let's say, in a story that deals with the unnatural enhancement, surgical or otherwise, of certain bodily attributes. Or, as in the case of: "Oh my god it's huge! Just how big is it?" "Well, 10 inches last time I measured it" ...

For me this is perfectly OK. However with such a wide range of adjectives to be chosen from and imaginatively used, why do these cases of "38DD tits" or "8.5 inch cock" appear so frequently in erotic stories?

Is it a fact that we authors, as a result of the 'Dumbing Down' propagated by the news and broadcast media over so many years, feel the need to treat our readers as 'just not very bright'. Or is it that we ourselves have been dulled by that same relentless onslaught?

Thank you for your time.

Please discuss.

Munchy

The only number that might be required is her age. Otherwise, precision is usually not a turnon. One character I sometimes write about is described as having a cock close to a foot long. That's about as close as I get to statistics, unless somebody is actually using a tape measure for some reason or other.