Do Sadists Generally Preffer Submissives to Masochists?

[sincerely_helene]

I'm going strictly by the dictionary here when I ask this.

If the term Sadist means to enjoy inflicting pain, emotionally or physically, would it be logical one would grow frusterated and maybe bored with the masochist? I mean, doesn't it feel like it defeats your purpose to hurt someone who WANTS to be hurt?

Do you think as a Sadist you are more inclined to be attracted to a submissive person instead because they yield to you out of the desire to please, not because they enjoy the pain aspect?

Better yet, do you ever find yourself preffering a dominant to either one of those just for the sheer thrill of the challenge and humiliation?

Heehee. I'm procrastinating a work project.

 

[graceanne]

I'm going strictly by the dictionary here when I ask this.

If the term Sadist means to enjoy inflicting pain, emotionally or physically, would it be logical one would grow frusterated and maybe bored with the masochist? I mean, doesn't it feel like it defeats your purpose to hurt someone who WANTS to be hurt?

Do you think as a Sadist you are more inclined to be attracted to a submissive person instead because they yield to you out of the desire to please, not because they enjoy the pain aspect?

Better yet, do you ever find yourself preffering a dominant to either one of those just for the sheer thrill of the challenge and humiliation?

Heehee. I'm procrastinating a work project.

I don't know about everyone, but I do remember AA saying that for him that he prefers masochists cause it's a huge turn on for him to have a woman orgasm mid-scream.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Guess it depends if you are speaking of a clinical sociopath type sadist or the D/s variety. For us, F is a D/s sadist in the extreme realms and he gets bored very quickly with a non-masochistic submissive. He enjoys inflicting the pain (physical, and at times psychological and/or emotional), he enjoys knowing I need to have it inflicted, and despite the enjoyment there is definately visible signs to him that it causes me extreme pain...the fact I gush everywhere the more pain he gives me is a plus for him. His sadism is tied to his sexual appetite and he doesn't feel like wasting a lot of time convincing someone to do as he needs, nor does he get off overly on feeling the other person is hating it but 'doing it just to please him'. It gives us a deep connection which he had been searching for and is something that just wouldn't happen if I were not a masochist on the same level as his sadism. A lot of that need to be with a mosochist comes back to self esteem etc as well, in part because sadist or not, no-one except an abuser usually wants to be with someone they know hates everything they do and think...it becomes very tiring and over time can begin to feel like the sadist should feel guilty for being who they are heart and soul....and it takes too much damn energy if the submissive is continually protesting and begging to not go there. And the beauty of it for F (and me) is he actually gets to do more than talk and dream about it ...I am finding there are many who talk the talk, give expansive descriptions on what should and could be done, how good it is and how sadistic they are, but they don't actually have anyone they play with and when it comes to actually having an opportunity to do it they fall flat, or more often, run and/or backtrack with a million excuses of why they can't do anything right now. In all fairness, I am finding exactly the same with many submissives....all talk, no action.

Catalina

 

[Bandit58]

Interesting question This post is coming from someone who is just starting to explore, so bear with me.

Master loves to spank me with various implements. There's no serious damage, apart from a few bruises. I would call Him more of a sensual sadist - He loves to make me wait for my orgasms. I'm beginning to realise that I might be more of a pain slut than I thought I was or ever could be. At the time, I scream and cry and writhe. It hurts! But at the same time I am turned on by it Because I'm turned on by it, He does it more

We were just talking about this the other day - I said how lucky I was to love someone who loves to spank my ass, and He said He was lucky too, to find someone who just loves to have her ass spanked!

 

[~Blacklace~]

I'm going strictly by the dictionary here when I ask this.

If the term Sadist means to enjoy inflicting pain, emotionally or physically, would it be logical one would grow frusterated and maybe bored with the masochist? I mean, doesn't it feel like it defeats your purpose to hurt someone who WANTS to be hurt?

In my case, no. I can see how the line could be blurry though. Personally I need maso/sub not just the sub aspect. I dont enjoy inflicting pain that isnt wanted/needed/understood. It would be like abuse if it wasnt mutually beneficial. And thats not what Im after. The sadist and the dominant in me are seperable (is that a word? lol) to a certain degree. If I know my sub is not masochistic the degree to which I deliver pain would be mild, but if he/she is a painslut it will get heavy. Does that make sense or am I rambling again?
Catalinas post was dead on, as usual her words flow much better....so yeah what she said

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm going strictly by the dictionary here when I ask this.

If the term Sadist means to enjoy inflicting pain, emotionally or physically, would it be logical one would grow frusterated and maybe bored with the masochist? I mean, doesn't it feel like it defeats your purpose to hurt someone who WANTS to be hurt?

Do you think as a Sadist you are more inclined to be attracted to a submissive person instead because they yield to you out of the desire to please, not because they enjoy the pain aspect?

Better yet, do you ever find yourself preffering a dominant to either one of those just for the sheer thrill of the challenge and humiliation?

Heehee. I'm procrastinating a work project.

There's a simple answer to this: I "preffer" masochist/submissives because they are the people who consent to sit still for the treatment my psyche impels me to mete out. I think I'd be quite happy in a parallel universe as a marauder raping and beating and generally flying the black flag.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I think I'd be quite happy in a parallel universe as a marauder raping and beating and generally flying the black flag.

Hoist the Jolly Roger.

i'm ready for rapine when you are.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Hoist the Jolly Roger.

i'm ready for rapine when you are.

You hold 'em I'll hump 'em

Although I like the pirate idea, I somehow see myself more as one of the bad guys in the beginning of the movie version of Conan The Barbarian. In general: black steeds, black armor with horned casque, setting fire to villages, sowing fields with salt, putting all men folk to the sword, leading long coffles of females back to oral servitude chained neck to neck. But pirates are good too.

Actually, I misread the initial question which is submissives vs masochists. I think that I definitely preffer the "suffering in order to please him" type of chick; but there are a lot of grey areas between the two types.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Although I like the pirate idea, I somehow see myself more as one of the bad guys in the beginning of the movie version of Conan The Barbarian. In general: black steeds, black armor with horned casque, setting fire to villages, sowing fields with salt, putting all men folk to the sword, leading long coffles of females back to oral servitude chained neck to neck. But pirates are good too.

Actually, I misread the initial question which is submissives vs masochists. I think that I definitely preffer the "suffering in order to please him" type of chick; but there are a lot of grey areas between the two types.

Both have their advantages. The Jolly boys threw them over board if they couldn't sell them into slavery, and when feeding them outweighed any other use. Land reavers fed them to their dogs.

Grey indeed, but as previously mentioned, i enjoy taking it to a completely different level.

 

[Kajira Callista]

hmmm not sure you really wanna know what i think on this subject but oh well.
sadists only use masochists when the need is strong and they dont have the time to do what it is they do to subs to put them under their spell. i dont really believe that they like or get off on a person who is getting pleasure from what they are doing. they will tolerate a masochist for a while but it isnt what they really want in the end.

 

[Netzach]

In my active fantasy life they are all screaming "yes, yes!" rather than "no! no!" so I guess I'm not clinically a sadist.

They're usually feeling at least a little nasty and dirty about it though. Give me humiliation any day.

 

[Caitlynne]

hmmm not sure you really wanna know what i think on this subject but oh well.
sadists only use masochists when the need is strong and they dont have the time to do what it is they do to subs to put them under their spell. i dont really believe that they like or get off on a person who is getting pleasure from what they are doing. they will tolerate a masochist for a while but it isnt what they really want in the end.

What an interesting POV. I never thought of it that way.

My personal view is .. it depends on the person.

 

[landcruisergal]

You hold 'em I'll hump 'em

Although I like the pirate idea, I somehow see myself more as one of the bad guys in the beginning of the movie version of Conan The Barbarian. In general: black steeds, black armor with horned casque, setting fire to villages, sowing fields with salt, putting all men folk to the sword, leading long coffles of females back to oral servitude chained neck to neck. But pirates are good too.

Actually, I misread the initial question which is submissives vs masochists. I think that I definitely preffer the "suffering in order to please him" type of chick; but there are a lot of grey areas between the two types.

I'm partial to the viking marauder image myself.

 

[graceanne]

I guess it depends on what you get out of it. If, like AA, you like the parody of a woman coming from pain then you want a masochist. If you like inflicting pain on a person who hates every minute of it you'll go for a sub.

 

[Gil_T2]

I'm partial to the viking marauder image myself.

Hijacking the thread to say how much I love landcruisergal's AV

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think part of the reason this question comes up periodically is peoples understanding of what a masochist is. I get the impression often that because someone identifies as a masochist, therefore enjoying pain, that some believe they don't feel the pain like others, or as much. I definately feel the pain as much as the next person, and more often than not I wonder in the middle of it all how much more I can endure to feed his need, but then I find myself craving more hours later. For most masochists there is a need to have pain inflicted, while the sadist needs to inflict it......it can, and often does move beyond enjoyment to a place where deep need takes over for those who go past the defined safe and/or commonly accepted limits.

F has worked on parts of my body over time to increase the sensitivity to a level he only has to look in my direction with a hint of what he is thinking and I begin to sweat, he reaches out and begins to play and I can be in tears from the pain before he barely gets going....but that doesn't stop him, if anything it just makes him laugh and turn the pressure up, and sometimes if allowed it drives me to orgasm. So while I hate what he often does, I also love it...think perhaps you have to have a taste of masochism in you to begin to understand how that works psychologically and physically. LOL, my body was just beginning to recover from his last week home, the bruises had gotten to a nice bright yellow, and he is home again and in less than 24 hours I am a multitude of colours in various places.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

I'm partial to the viking marauder image myself.

What she said

 

[Mr Wolf]

You hold 'em I'll hump 'em

Although I like the pirate idea, I somehow see myself more as one of the bad guys in the beginning of the movie version of Conan The Barbarian. In general: black steeds, black armor with horned casque, setting fire to villages, sowing fields with salt, putting all men folk to the sword, leading long coffles of females back to oral servitude chained neck to neck. But pirates are good too.

Actually, I misread the initial question which is submissives vs masochists. I think that I definitely preffer the "suffering in order to please him" type of chick; but there are a lot of grey areas between the two types.

Further to your 'Black Flag' thoughts, my sig line refers to the battlecry issued by Henry's English Army whilst devasting the French countryside on the way to Agincourt. No thats my idea of warfare...born out of my time perhaps???

Back to the question, whilst it can be fun and interesting to inflict pain on a sub I agree with other posters that it does get stressfull after awhile as you know that they do not get off on the infliction of pain for what it is. So the ideal partner would be a masochistic sub...who says I can't have my cake and eat it!!!

 

[alice_underneath]

You hold 'em I'll hump 'em

Although I like the pirate idea, I somehow see myself more as one of the bad guys in the beginning of the movie version of Conan The Barbarian. In general: black steeds, black armor with horned casque, setting fire to villages, sowing fields with salt, putting all men folk to the sword, leading long coffles of females back to oral servitude chained neck to neck. But pirates are good too.

Actually, I misread the initial question which is submissives vs masochists. I think that I definitely preffer the "suffering in order to please him" type of chick; but there are a lot of grey areas between the two types.

First, let me say that (in this post) you sound like the star of roughly 90% of the fantasies I've ever had in my life.

And you've got that curly hair, too.... Daaaaayummm!

But the key word in what I just wrote is: F-A-N-T-A-S-Y.

And in my fantasy, I am always enjoying myself to a very considerable degree.

I have a question for you, and I am struggling with a way to phrase it. I don't mean to be nasty here, but there's something that I honestly don't understand.

Who would voluntarily choose you as their partner?

A masochist who is also seeking a relationship with emotional intimacy might pick someone like Catalina's husband.

A masochist who is just seeking really hot sex might pick AA.

But how would you describe the type of woman who picks someone with your proclivities?

From a strictly sexual preference point of view, wouldn't a non-masochistic sub choose a non-sadistic dom?

Please don't be offended by my questions. I really am only trying to understand.

Alice

 

[AngelicAssassin]

A masochist who is just seeking really hot sex might pick AA.

i gave up slutdom half a lifetime ago.

None shall pass darlin'.

None shall pass.

 

[blue kat]

I hate to go back OT in the midst of all this marauding and AARGH! ing, but...

I think your answer lies in the definition of sadist. A sensual sadist wants to inflict at the same time as giving pleasure, because it heigtens their arousal. They may also exhibit dominant tendencies. A Dominant sadist is one who is interested in control as well as pain, and I think this is where most of us lie, in this universe. (Not that RR's isn't a nice alternative!) It's not just about pain. I want you to want the pain. I want you to hate it and love it all at once. There's a point where a person is begging you, and you stop and ask what they really want, and they don't know! Their pain and pleasure centers are so intertwined that they don't know if they want you to stop, go, let them come or what. <<<O face>>>>. But the fact that my partner in this enterprise wants to take it as bad as I want to give it only makes it better.

The last sort of sadist is the one who simply doesn't care about anything but giving pain. They don't want control, they don't want you to like it, they don't really care if you come or not. These individuals are the kind who end up pulling the wings of flies and kicking their dog in milder cases. In the more extreme cases, you find them dumping bodies into the Green River. You rarely find them in the bdsm world, and if they do show up, it's usually only a matter of time before they get found out. When it comes to the straight dictionary version of a sadist, I've only seen one in a bdsm setting, and it was online, and it appears that most people have figured out what their game is.

Now then, in RR's corner of the altiverse, I don't want to be a pirate, I want to be a marauding viking mercenary chick!

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

ummmn I would like to know if any of these Pilaging Procrastinating Pontificating Pervert Pirates will be wearing black eyeliner ala Johnny Dep cause well ohhh......nvm........fans self

 

[blue kat]

I'll wear the eyeliner and the hat, but not the dreads... Unless I can be a Viking like in the capital 1 commercials.

 

[alice_underneath]

i gave up slutdom half a lifetime ago.

None shall pass darlin'.

None shall pass.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Mr. Assassin.

Thanks for the clarification.

Alice

 

[alice_underneath]

ummmn I would like to know if any of these Pilaging Procrastinating Pontificating Pervert Pirates will be wearing black eyeliner ala Johnny Dep cause well ohhh......nvm........fans self

I grant you, for sheer unadulterated sexuality - that performance was hard to beat.

The star of my fantasies, however, looks more like Eomer in the LOTR movies.

Except he's waaaaaaaay more aggressive toward women. He basically... ummm.... takes what he wants.

And for some reason, he has a thing for petite middle-aged women with auburn hair.

Go figure.

Alice