do not open the weird box

[Crackedcolumn]

YOU OPEND BOX!!???? WTF is wrong with you? It clearly said DO NOT OPEN THE BOX…… you are the reason there are warning lables on pillows…… I bet you ate a tide pod for clout.

I am drunk Todd…. Todd isn’t my name, it is who I am when I drink……Todd is my super power, I am braver, more smarter, and stronger…er.

That being said… I have not yet reached Todd stage. Todd is an asshole, funny amusing, but an asshole. The kind of guy you will sleep with and instantly regret it.

You know that image you have in your head of older male “daddy” that is just an alpha…..

Yeah, I’m his weird ass cousin. I’m your awkward physics professor, that rocks the dadbod and uses borderline sexiest jokes to open class…. You think I’m harmless until I become TODD.

The next morning when the first rays of light barge their way into our foggy minds…… there is the briefest moment between dream and reality where we will both say to ourselves…..”please let me be alone…..” sadly Todd struck again..
….
……
………..what? why are you still here? Are you waiting for the “PM me I have issues line”…………

This is me clearly stating…. NO, I am not a safe person….. your only advantage is that my dad bod could not keep up if you ran. Nor will I remember your name, since TODD is an asshole.
Go frolic and play, I’m going to NOT cry in the shower at my loneliness…. I’m going to dance in the sprinklers like I did as child.
Incidentally if you have any 40ish hairy neighbors that suddenly turn on the sprinklers and start dancing naked…… please don’t call the cops…..

 

[SkittlesAndNerds]

Late night goofiness

Can't decide if replying to your post will result in a crit failure or crit success but fuck it, time to roll. Hello from a 25 year old STEM girl.

 

[jackburns]

As if opening this box would make the world ANY worse off than it already is at the moment.

 

[Illnevertell79]

Oops sorry, wrong box...

I was clearly looking for Jumangi

 

[jackburns]

That's across the hall, 2 doors down.