do i have the right temperment for all this??

[JayinNY]

are sub or doms that way in real life too? what i mean is i am an EXTREMELY dominant male into some very hardcore stuff. kickboxing, machineguns, building and racing monster trucks, hunting, i play some of the fastest heavy metal on the planet in a band, tattoos, etc etc to name a few. i take lip off noone and will not hesitate to use my training and hurt people quick.
however, i am extremely intrigued by the thought of relinquishing control to a DOM from time to time. im into, or well would like to try, bondage, tease and denial, smothering, mild CBT(no nut stomps, but cloths pins and rings and rope), to name a few. does this make me a switch? technically i m nothing. i havent played in BDSM ever. just had "vanilla" sex.

ok heres a scenerio, i eventually find a DOM whos into the same stuff i am and we are now involved. i happen to run into her in public and she trys to pull rank on me. am i supposed to give in? or wouldnt a DOM do something like that. honestly what would happen is i would embarrass her in short order and walk away. is whats behind closed doors is behind closed doors? or is everything fair game in this stuff?

obviously when shes in her latex and im in my collar in her domain shes in charge, but in the real world, i am my own master.

am i just a switch?? or am i not for this stuff at all and just like kinky stuff??

thanks in advance for any input you could give.

 

[MissTaken]

If break down your question in several pieces, here are a few answers that should help:

~Many submissives are very assertive in their professional and personal lives. However, in terms of their intimate relationships, they find that their need is to surrender and reliquish control. So, it isn't surprising that your sexual needs contradict how you present yourself and who you are outside the scene.

~What happens in public between you and your Domme, is something that needs to be discussed. Some Dom/mes enjoy the power exhange in and outside the bedroom, as do some subs. Conversely, some enjoy power exchange to happen exclusively in the bedroom. If you and your Domme don't agree concerning the timing and how playful you might be outside the room, it isn't likely that the relationship would work. Some serious communication and negotiation is necessary when one is considering or involved in power exchange. After all, one wouldn't trade a vehicle or other valuable item without clear terms and conditions. Why would one trade their will and sexuality without the same?

~Is the lifestyle for you? Are you a sub? Are you kinky sans D/s? Only you can answer that.

Good Luck.

BTW, this topic is covered often and frequently in the mother thread. Many of us had same or similar questions. It makes for some good, informative reading.

Miss T