Divorce

[rightright70]

How has everyone handled divorce here??? Difficult here, very difficult.

 

[rightright70]

Hmmm, noone seems to be reading or posting to this thread.....

I'm just a tired young man (feel much older than my age). Tired of marriage to a woman that doesnt love me, and tired of loving her so much it hurts. Tired of sexless nights, the separation, the lies.

But it doesnt matter......its all over

 

[silkynsmooth]

Hello

I'm sorry to hear of what your going through. It sounds to me like she doesn't deserve you. I am divorced but happily so a little different than your situation. It's going to be hard right now but you'll realize that you deserve someone who will love you the way you love them.

If you ever want to talk just email me...

Hugs to you new friend and be strong you will get through it.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Divorced here as well.

It was a good thing, I was in your position in some senses, different in others so it was a relief when it was over but also painful.

Give yourself time, its going to hurt for a bit but if its what you truly feel you should do and what is in the best interest of all then proceed.

Have you tried any family therapy?

 

[rightright70]

Things are very complicated--and Im not at liberty to discuss in too much detail, but she's the one that filed, I do not want the divorce. She has complicated matters with my children etc. And made it difficult with the divorce proceedings.

I suggested marital/family counciling, but that was a no go.....

 

[silkynsmooth]

Not good when children are used between the adults. That hurts them the most. My ex did that and I am having, am still having alot of problems with my oldest daughter because of it. You be the adult and don't do it too. The hardest thing is biting your lip and not saying what you feel. But you'll be happy you did.

Hugs again

 

[rightright70]

Its hard when things are beyond our control, when lies are told to people that shouldnt be involved to withhold the children. I'm trying to be strong, I have several issues going on right now not including the divorce, but its hard when you wake up at night because you can _feel_ her touch your back. You can _hear _ her voice. Hard, hardest thing I've done.

 

[rightright70]

bump

 

[rightright70]

Found some appropriate lyrics:

Tears filled my eyes
As we said our last goodbyes
This bad scene replays
Of you walking away

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
That in nothing we trust

Time and again
She repeats let's be friends
I smile and say yes
Another truth bends
I must confess

I try to let go, but I know
We'll never end 'til we're dust
We lied to each other again
But I wish I could trust

How could this be happening to me
I'm lying when I say "Trust me"
I can't believe this is true
Trust hurts
Why does trust equal suffering

 

[rightright70]

bump

 

[rightright70]

Guess noone wants to talk about this.....but ill bump it one last time...

 

[silkynsmooth]

Don't give up...you should come into chat...alot of nice people in there...you may laugh..My nic in there is Elusive silk. If your up for it.

Thank you for the email and I will reply to you. I'm soooo sorry for what your going through. Come in to chat and have some fun ok

 

[Hornymama]

How has everyone handled divorce here??? Difficult here, very difficult.

well it's been over 20 years since i went through mine but it's still a very vivid memory...for one i was so totally in love with him...he was my life....we had a 6 week old son when i found out he had someone else....i was devastated....if it wasn't for our son i don't think i would of gone on.....i felt his touch, heard his words, every memory was like a stab in my heart...but as time went on i started to heal and met someone and remarried....someone who loves me vey much and excepted my son as his own....and in time i'm sure you will heal too....just remember every is different ....no 2 people deal with this kind of thing alike..if you ever need someone pm me ....

 

[silkynsmooth]

Good morning everyone - your right Hornymama not all are the same and everyone is different. He needs our support and he is a wonderful guy. Spent alot of time talking to him last night and he has a heart of gold and deserves better.

Hugggsss good morning right!!! Hope you slept well hun and thanks for the enjoyable talk last night.

Talk soon!!!

 

[Hornymama]

Good morning everyone - your right Hornymama not all are the same and everyone is different. He needs our support and he is a wonderful guy. Spent alot of time talking to him last night and he has a heart of gold and deserves better.

Hugggsss good morning right!!! Hope you slept well hun and thanks for the enjoyable talk last night.

Talk soon!!!

well as i told him last night i don't mean to preach but i'm always available to listen....and he does sound like a great guy......jus someone who is ina great deal fo pain......and my jeart goes out to hom....

 

[rightright70]

Thanks all

Its pretty hard, esp when she holds all the cards...

 

[silkynsmooth]

Thanks all

Its pretty hard, esp when she holds all the cards...

Hun you'll pull through this. Be strong and lean on friends when you need to...that's what we're here for. Or play them in pool and kick their ....you know whats.

Huggss

 

[rightright70]

You mean play with them in the pool and kiss their asses????

With you ladies, Im there

 

[watergirl]

I'm sorry to hear of your trouble, rightright.

Hugs. It hurts to be left. It hurts when people play games. I've never been divorced - I can't imagine.

 

[rightright70]

Its dreadful, watergirl, absolutely dreadful.

The sad thing about it is that i would go back to her in an instant--I love her that much.

 

[fgarvb1]

You are not going to want to read this... here it is anyway.

She is doing you a favor even if she or you doesn't know it.

There is a time when a marriage is not working when sombody says thats enough. It should have been you.

Yes, I know how hard it is. Yes i have been on both sides of a divorce.

Starting over is a bitch. Thats one way of looking at it.

The other is that a lot of people don't get the chance to start over with a clean slate.

My advise is to study the dynamics of relationships. It will help you alot the rest of your life.

People can only do the things she did to you if you let them.

It takes two whole people to make a relationship, one can not do it, nor can one and a half or three-quarters of two people.

A good married life is out there for you if you want it. Go get it.

good luck.

 

[Hornymama]

Its dreadful, watergirl, absolutely dreadful.

The sad thing about it is that i would go back to her in an instant--I love her that much.

it's not an uncommon feeling when you love someone that deeply.....i went back to mine over and over knowing everything he had done....hoping he'd change

 

[watergirl]

I was with my last guy for amost five years. We definitely hit that point, where you either make up your mind to make a serious commitment, or something, you know?

He chose to end it... he was unhappy for a while, I know I wasn't fun to live with. I am more myself now - happier with my work, myself, my integrity, my sex life, everything. It's harder, financially, because I live alone.

He claimed it was because he needed to be on his own, and date other people, and so forth. Nearly a year, he hasn't dated anyone new. We're trying to stay friends - sometimes I find it really hard.

Good luck, rightright.

I wanted him back for so long. I wanted to change, because I knew I had changed so much from the person he fell in love with. Now I am back to my old values and enthusiasm for things... but it's for me. And he's proved himself to be not the man I hoped he would grow up to be.

It's all for the best, I sometimes think. It's still hard. We had a lot of mutual friends from college, and I feel like a lot of them are drifting away from me. When he and I are together, one on one, it's fun, good times, in a friendly way. When we're around them - he cold shoulders me. It makes me wonder what he says to them about me, you know?

I'm trying to wean myself away from him, and getting there. You'll be ok, someday. You're doing what you think is right, I'm sure.. and that's all you can do.

 

[rightright70]

Well, Im doing what I can. I have a lot of stress in my life right now, indirectly related to this---stuff has come to light that needs immediate attention that distracts from the divorce proceedings.

I miss her, badly.

But I know itll never be, never be what we intended, what we had hoped for.

The best wasnt good enough, and all we have now is memories

I pray she remembers me well, and fondly, as I do her.

Godspeed

 

[rightright70]

I post with tears streaming down, not in despair as has been so common lately with me, but in a quiet resignation, a deep, profound understanding of the sadness of the situation....

That my friends think we will eventually get back together does not help. We both love the other, but we cannot be together. And that hurts me so badly.

The scars are healing, somewhat. A month ago i was suicidal. Now Im just here with the tears falling. I guess Its an improvement.

But I wonder how things would be different had I blown my head off as I had intended......