divorce help

[harvick333]

here is the siuation, and i dont know what to do.any advice anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated. My wife (D) have been together 6 years and married almost 4. we have an almost 3 year old daughter (K).

For the last 18 months or so it seems like the only thing D and i do is fight. It is never any specific thing. for awhile i just took her yelling at me and kept my mouth shut, however that soon got old and i started telling her exactly what i thought instead of keeping it all in. it then became "oh your an asshole" , "god i fucking hate you", "why dont you just leav3", and eventually " I want a divorce". i always talked her out of it though not neccasarily because i still wanted to be with her but because i would do anything in the world for K. D has 2 sister who have used and turned their kids against the dad so i have been concerned over this.

Recently i took a job 10 hours from home out of state and have been living with my parents because there is little work where i am from. since i moved out here i have met a women i work with (R) who interests me. we have hung out socially although nothing has happened because i have never cheated on my wife nor do i want to. however R has made me realize that maybe it would be better for my wife and i to get the divorce. when i talk to D she seems happy although she usually finds something to fight about. i dont miss the fighting and in general only find myself missing K not really D. I could totally see D and I being the couple that you hear about staying together and then splitting up as soon as the daughter is out of the house and i dont want that. R has made me realize that i want to be happy myself even if it isnt neccasarily with her (R).

I dont want to hurt my wife or my daughter but i know we also cant go on the way things have been. i dont want to see K grow up seeing me and D arguing and fighting all the time. i would rather just end things now, have her know that both mommy and daddy love her and let her have the chance to see both of us happy.

I know it seems like i already know what i want, my question is more about how to go about actually doing it. i feel i owe it to D to do it in person as opposed to over the phone, however i havent been home in almost 3 weeks and when i do go home next it lands on our anniversary which just seems like a cruel time to do it, plus i worry about how much she will let me see K during that weekend if i do it before then. but if i dont do it this time home the next time is K's birthday in aug, so i dont know what to do. sorry for the long ramble but any advice would be dreatly appreciated

C

 

[Saint Peter]

Could you just draw a picture or something?

Fuck.

 

[Bert Notorius]

I D K





.

 

[Sean]

here is the siuation, and i dont know what to do.any advice anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated. My wife (D) have been together 6 years and married almost 4. we have an almost 3 year old daughter (K).

For the last 18 months or so it seems like the only thing D and i do is fight. It is never any specific thing. for awhile i just took her yelling at me and kept my mouth shut, however that soon got old and i started telling her exactly what i thought instead of keeping it all in. it then became "oh your an asshole" , "god i fucking hate you", "why dont you just leav3", and eventually " I want a divorce". i always talked her out of it though not neccasarily because i still wanted to be with her but because i would do anything in the world for K. D has 2 sister who have used and turned their kids against the dad so i have been concerned over this.

Recently i took a job 10 hours from home out of state and have been living with my parents because there is little work where i am from. since i moved out here i have met a women i work with (R) who interests me. we have hung out socially although nothing has happened because i have never cheated on my wife nor do i want to. however R has made me realize that maybe it would be better for my wife and i to get the divorce. when i talk to D she seems happy although she usually finds something to fight about. i dont miss the fighting and in general only find myself missing K not really D. I could totally see D and I being the couple that you hear about staying together and then splitting up as soon as the daughter is out of the house and i dont want that. R has made me realize that i want to be happy myself even if it isnt neccasarily with her (R).

I dont want to hurt my wife or my daughter but i know we also cant go on the way things have been. i dont want to see K grow up seeing me and D arguing and fighting all the time. i would rather just end things now, have her know that both mommy and daddy love her and let her have the chance to see both of us happy.

I know it seems like i already know what i want, my question is more about how to go about actually doing it. i feel i owe it to D to do it in person as opposed to over the phone, however i havent been home in almost 3 weeks and when i do go home next it lands on our anniversary which just seems like a cruel time to do it, plus i worry about how much she will let me see K during that weekend if i do it before then. but if i dont do it this time home the next time is K's birthday in aug, so i dont know what to do. sorry for the long ramble but any advice would be dreatly appreciated

C

So your wife's a Democrat and the new chick is a Republican?

 

[harvick333]

So your wife's a Democrat and the new chick is a Republican?

didnst even think about the initals as i was posting lol

 

[cookiejar]

Any relation to Kevin?

 

[harvick333]

dont know kevin

 

[Bert Notorius]

Having a kid in the house for the first time is a challenging period because for the first time in your lives you have to think of someone needs other than your own. Man up and do the right thing, asshole. Be miserable.

 

[TexasWife25]

If you honestly want advice, post in the "how to" forum.

 

[O-dad's Medium]

Good point, here it's more likely abuse, and any good advice will be incidental.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

You obviously haven't familiarized yourself with this forum - the only advise you'll get is to do nasty things to yourself.

 

[pink]

Go to the "How To" forum like they have already stated.

 

[December]

Talk to a lawyer first to make sure you are clear on all of your parental rights, then talk to the wife, in person, to explain how you honestly, truly feel. Tell her you're still very much interested in raising your child with her and set up a fair visiting schedule before you part ways with the wife, that will give her a sense of closure over everything between you and her. After that she should be more willing/able to move on to a different kind of relationship with you, one that is not based on your past relationship with her, but that is based on how the pair of you can work together to give your child everything she needs.

 

[koalabear]

Ammo is much cheaper than a lawyer.

 

[dolf]

is it worth couple's therapy?
if you learnt how to be respectful towards each other, if you each felt your opinions were considered and feelings cared about, would you remember how to love each other?

 

[O-dad's Medium]

*scratches head as the incidents pile up*

 

[warrior queen]

I'll be straight up here...
You married her. You had a child.
If you now just up and walk away, because you met someone who makes you think the grass might be greener and all that crap, you are doing everyone a massive disservice.
Nowhere in your post do you say you and the wife had had couples couselling - why not? Have you already given up?
Are you already at the point where you're willing to just walk away? From BOTH your wife and child (and believe me, you will be walking away from both of them).

By posting in here, instead of talking to your wife about your issues, you show yourself as a gutless pussy.
She deserves your honesty, regardless of which way things end up.

 

[fgarvb1]

So how old are you Idiots anyway?

Sounds like she has someone on the side already.

( there has to be some cheap ass redneck spices in this box somewhere!)

 

[theault_b]

You're posting your pleas in the most caustic depths of the most renowned of online adult cesspools. Of the advice freely offered, take only as much of it as you honestly feel that you've paid for. The bitches here trade in lbs of e-flesh and salvage. Ask the hungry gallery around the shipwrecks who cybered Ken or the leaking hulks who sent tribute to Jennifer K...

Ahhh, no...

Never the mind. Hire a Lawyer. You're already fucked if you're here. Protect your interests. Your soon to be Ex is drilling somebody 10 hours that-a-way while you buy enfamil for his bastard.

Good luck to you.

 

[semen4her]

Your wife is hot.

I have something for her.

 

[run_silent]

Leaving a spouse for someone else who meets your needs is just plain dumb. The grass is always greener on the other side and it's easy. What you have to do is hard. You have to work at it both you and her. There is a child involved and you have to be the adult even if no one else is.

 

[Licia]

Mirrors are strange inventions. Hold one up to someone's face and expect a loud projection. Throw out the mirror -- seven years is a superstition -- the mirror will not protect you.

Be human: adapt. Own your own feelings; communicate them with (not to) your partner.

Couples therapy can show tools for communication; if the pair decides to use them is another matter.

If you have cojones, you will tell D about R and respect her choice over divorce.

 

[LadyVer]

Interesting. If a partner is serious about his other half, they're not going to be seeing someone else, no matter how innocent it is. Bringing another person into the mix is just adding fuel to the fire. I'm speaking from experience. My ex and I were separated and I was truly trying to make things work. He wasn't interested in therapy and then he called me to tell me he just wanted to let me know he'd met someone else who really understood him. I filed for divorce. This was 20 years ago. A year ago he blamed me for his marrying her. Apparently he's not happy with his current wife. Wonders never cease.