Dirty Words: History Of..

[asian_princess]

Self-defined as an oral erotica enthusiast ('likes ear porn" just doesn’t quite have the same ring to it…). I love the souuuuuuwwwwwwwwnd of words. The way they roll off the tongue…how the strangely onomatopoetic they are…how one word whispered, or moaned, or even firmly spoken can send shivers down your spine…all the way to your groin

But even more fascinating is just the word itself. Words, in general have always held my fascination…and sex? well, I'm here aren’t I? So coming across a book called, "Dirty Words: the History of Sex Talk" was like hitting the jackpot, all my happy hobbies sitting together, fucking together, existing in the form of a red hardcover.

Anyway...I've been learning lots…*nods emphatically* a-huh!!


So to prove I'm not lying when I say I've been reading and it's been more than just penthouse forum, I've set myself the daily assignment of posting what I've learnt about the history of a dirty word…My very own Dirty Word of the day… if you will.

So feel to come along to class with me. If I'm wrong abut something, feel free to correct me…If I'm right…still feel free to punish me (we'll come to spanking later in the book, I'm sure) and if the inspiration strikes you, suggest a word of your own… or all you budding writers out there, use the word in a sentence…I'd love to read them all…

So..here we go..first word of the day is…

Let's keep it simple hey…

 

[asian_princess]

Word of the day is…LOVE.

LOL…hey, SOME would say it’s a dirty word…How bout we think of it as half of the phrase…Making Love, then?

Love…actually, (no, not the movie), ultimately is derived from the Indo-european word:leubh…which meant, to love or to desire. Leubh then evolved to, lubo…then to the Old English, lufu …then to the most overused, misused, misunderstood and most scared of words…LOVE

What other modern English word also evolved from leubh? Libido is one…still used today in its original Latin form...meaning to desire or lust, and one other evolved word, ironically..it's the word LEAVE…but in ths case, leave in the context of having permission, as in, you have leave to go…

So, to concluded today's lesson, tonight's homework, you all have my leubh to go make leubh …

 

[Huckleman2000]

...So, to concluded today's lesson, tonight's homework, you all have my leubh to go make leubh …

Those of you without partners are free to just get drbnk.

 

[asian_princess]

Those of you without partners are free to just get drbnk.

LOL you just helped me pick me word for tomorrow..."self-love" shall we call it??

 

[logophile]

The LogoPhile is here, and ready to take notes.
And then... Take myself.
Since tomorrow is "self-love" after all.

 

[mcopado]

LOL you just helped me pick me word for tomorrow..."self-love" shall we call it??

*In his best Shadwell imitation*
Would ye be talking "onanism" there, me brazen hussy? And how may nipples would yew be havin there ye hooor of babylon?

 

[asian_princess]

The LogoPhile is here, and ready to take notes.
And then... Take myself.
Since tomorrow is "self-love" after all.

well, practicals always were my favorite parts of uni nothing like "hands on" learning

 

[asian_princess]

*In his best Shadwell imitation*
Would ye be talking "onanism" there, me brazen hussy? And how may nipples would yew be havin there ye hooor of babylon?

careful what you call me there, buster, or else you'll be learning first hand just what onanaism is all about ...

 

[mcopado]

careful what you call me there, buster, or else you'll be learning first hand just what onanaism is all about ...

Well being in a long distance relationship I know all about it...LOL

It's the mutual kind that interests me...

Would yew be wearing yer new red fishnet gloves then missy I hope, I Hope!!!!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well being in a long distance relationship I know all about it...LOL

It's the mutual kind that interests me...

Would yew be wearing yer new red fishnet gloves then missy I hope, I Hope!!!!

You know, when they burned the second book, I thought- damn, no sequel.

 

[mcopado]

You know, when they burned the second book, I thought- damn, no sequel.

HUH?


Hey Stella, you've changed (or at least your AV has)

 

[asian_princess]

Hear ye, hear ya, all ye sinners!

Come hear the tale of the "sin of self-pollution"...or so masturbation was called in 1626...which was only to be replaced in 1710, with the publication of:

Onania: The Heinous Sin Of Self Pollution, And All It's Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes Considered, With Spiritual And Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This Abominable Practice (i could've "self-polluted" myself twice already in the time it takes to read that title).

Onan- of course, being the unfortunate soul who, in doing what he thought was a good deed by trying to impregnate his widowed sis-in-law (sounds like a story half of us have written) has a last minute change of heart and withdrew from her "spilling his seed upon the ground" which pissed off Almighty apparently who turned Onan into kitty litter.
...and so the birth of the term : onanism.

However, onanism had a rival ...(the term onanism that is, not the act, which still seems to reign today ... )

the combination of two latin word...manus, meaning hand and stuprare, meaning to defile, bred the term...
MASTURBATION, meaning, to defile with the hand.

...following, a list of commonly heard words in the hallowed hallways of Lit.
Wank: derivaing from whack and spank,
Jack-off: from e"jac"ulate, which is first recorded in use in 1916.
To diddle: coming from, to shake or to quiver
Frigging: to move briskly.

the endless, and ever-growing list for male masturbation often describes maturbation as a violent attack... beating the meat, pound the pudding, spanking the donkey...and also the use of choking or strangling like choke the chicken, strangling Kojak (is this because of the bald head??!! ) and of course perenial favourites, whack the weasel, club the baby seal, and flog your pride!!

and my own persnal favs...slang that refers to the act in terms of ejaculation...cream your corn, make instant pudding, hold the mayo...etc

so here's a towel, my masochistic chefs, no mayo for me, but knock yoursleves out, all ye delightful sinners

 

[dr_mabeuse]

There's got to be more slang terms for masturbation than for anything else in the world.

Scroll down the dictionary of sexual terms to see a list of a good 2000-3000, for example.

Anyone else ever wonder about Harrison Ford's name in Star Wars? Han Solo?

Near where I used to work was an establishment known as "Onan's Rugs and Carpets." They might have been nice, but who wanted to deal with those pesky stains?

--Zoot

 

[asian_princess]

There's got to be more slang terms for masturbation than for anything else in the world.

Scroll down the dictionary of sexual terms to see a list of a good 2000-3000, for example.

Anyone else ever wonder about Harrison Ford's name in Star Wars? Han Solo?

Near where I used to work was an establishment known as "Onan's Rugs and Carpets." They might have been nice, but who wanted to deal with those pesky stains?

--Zoot

too true doc...my eyes have gone http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_6.gif just from scanning the list!

 

[mcopado]

See Also: manual job, manual pollution, secret vice, solitary sin, solitary vice, strumming the banjo, stump-jump, sweet slide, the, taming goliath, southern pleasures, southern romance, southern seduction, squirt-n-spurt, stretching the muscle, solo sex, southern comfort, solitary sex, smacking the clam, snatching, skimming the cream, slaking the bacon, self-manipulation, secret selfish sin, self-relief, tossing off, touch typing, touching up, treating yourself right, twatty wank, tweaking the little man in the boat, vice of self-defilement, visit Mary Thumb and her four daughters, visit Rosy Palm and her five daughters, watching the butterfly smile, Willie and the hand jive, worshiping the finger prince, worshiping the fist prince, worshiping the finger princess, wringing (it), yanking, yawning, knuckle shuffle, lip smacking, lonely art, loob the goob, little southern romance, loving thy self, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, muff ruffing, My sex life!, menage a un, onanera, one-eye target practice, hand solo, ham-boning, handling the hard on, hoodwink, jack hammering, Irish promotion, Irish wedding, killing 45 seconds, lady fingers and cream, pearl fishing, petal pushing, petting the pussy, pause that refreshes, the, playing piano, practising, pud-pulling, pud wrestling, pussy poking, riding the clitoris-saurus, rod-walloping, rubbing the love nubbin, rubbing the nub, rubbing the nubbin, sailors' joy, a date with Manuela, a date with Senorita Mano, a little southern romance, a visit from Mother Fist, balls deep into your fist, celebrating Palm Sunday, clit bliss, clit twit, cranking the corona, dactylate, dating Manuella, dating the Palm sisters, dating Thumbalina and her four sisters, digit disco, digitizing, do a one-finger exercise, dong flogging, drown the man in the boat, enjoying yourself, express a secret vice, fanny fumbling, female finger fun, fiddle with oneself, finger dancing, finger fun, fingering the skin harp, fingering the fountain, firing off a round, fist flick, five finger exercise(s), flog it, flogging your dumber brother, flying solo, fuzzy fun, genital pollution, getting to know yourself, great sin of youth, gusset typing, hack the hog, hack the mack, grip the tip, gripping the pencil, grip the gorilla, gripping Flipper, groping the grotto, growing hair on the palms, gushing the geyser, grinding the goo shooter, greasing the flagpole, greasing your hips, greasing the skillet, greasing your bone, greasing the pipe, going on a date with Handrea, going on a date with Palmela, going mining, going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters, going on the blow, going on Peewee's little adventure, going on the dole, going out with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters, going a couple of rounds with Ol' Josh, going eye to eye with Johnny Hung, grappling the gorilla, getting to know yourself personally in the biblical sense, getting your palm read, getting your caps peeled, getting your end away, getting your palm read by Mister Softee, getting your pole varnished, gherkin-jerking, gilding the lily, giving Yul Brenner the high-five, giving the general a five-finger salute, giving yourself the finger, glazing the knuckle, gluing the lady's eye shut, go a couple rounds with the champ(ion), go back to the wig-wam and beat the tom-tom, genital sensate focussing, genital stimulation via phalangetic motion, genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion, furry fun, furry finger fuck, getting a date with slick mittens, getting a little off-hand, getting a grip on things, getting a hold of yourself, getting a stain out of my carpet, getting chafed, getting gnarly with the knudster, getting in touch with your manhood, getting in touch with yourself, getting stripped of your grammy, getting the german soldier marching, getting the glue stick, gagging the lips of love, gagging the clam, gallop the old lizard, gallop the maggot, gallop the goose, galloping the lizard, fuck palmala, fucking without complications, get a date with Slick Mittens, flying on automatic, fondling the fig, four-lip whistling, freeing Willy, fret the fiddle-strings, frigging the love muscle, frosting the pastries, flogging your pride, flossing the cat, flub the dub, flute solo, fly automatic, fly fishing, flogging the mule, flogging the hog, flogging the poodle, flogging the frog, flogging the salami, flog the infidel, five finger discount, five finger lingo, five-finger solo, five fingers against one penis, five knuckle olympics, five-knuckle-shuffle (on the old piss pump), five on one, flapping takkie, flaying the emperor, flick the BIC, flipping the bishop, flipping through the pages, fist kebabing 101, fist of fury, five against one, five against Willy, five finger boogie on the blue vein, five finger knuckle shuffle, firm the worm, fishing for zipper trout, fishing for trouser trout, fire the wobbly warhead, firing the surgeon general, firing the flesh musket, finger painting, fingerbating, finger blasting, finger flick, fiddle the bean, fidget the midget, file the fun-rod, filling up the belly button well, feed the spunk-o-meter, feeding the chooks, feeding your trouser-mouse, feel in one's pocket for one's big hairy rocket, faxing Jimmy Dean, faxing the pope, fanning the fur, fanning the furnace, encapsulate your probe, engaging in internal revenue service, enjoying a little southern comfort, entering the ring of fire, entering no man's land, erase the problem, erasing the problem, erupting the volcano, erupting Vesuvius, escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of its denim cell, evicting the testicular squatters, excercise your rights, experiencing men-o-paws, exploring the deep South, exploring Carlsbad Caverns, downing at the club (for members only), drilling for oil in your own backyard, driving the skin bus, drooling, dropping a line, dropping stomach pancakes, dry humping the ottoman, dundering the devil, dusting the endtable, dusting the old trophy, educating Peter, electing the president, docking in shuttle bay 5, doddle whacking, do the Han Solo, Custer's last stand, dousing the digits, draining the monster, draining the poisons from the building, disseminating, dildo doodling, disciplining the primate, diddling Miss Daisy, dinging the dong, dinky the slinky, doing handiwork, doing battle with the purple helmeted warrior of love, doing hard time in the hand slammer, doing it your way, doing something for my chapped lips, doing one's nails, doing laps, doing the human version of autoexec.bat, doing the hand jive, doing the janitor thing, doing the pork sword jiggle, doing the solitary rhumba, doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba, doing the white knuckler, digital manipulation of the coital apparatus, digital special effects, digitally oscillating the penis, diddling the dinky, digging for clams, digging for change, digging for your keys, decongesting the weasel, defrosting the fridge, dialing the pink phone, dialing the rotary phone, dickless dildo dance, date Miss Michigan, cracking the bat, culture the American Blood Sausage, cum the scum, damming the beaver, dance with Johnnie One-eye, cracking nuts, creaming the cheese, creaming the pie, create an arch, creaming the twinkie, crime of self-pollution, crimping the wire, critter cramming, crossing the swamp, crossing the great divide, crown the king, cuddling the kielbasa, colonel sanders heimleich maneuver, coming to grips with yourself, conking the cardinal, consult Dr. Jerkoff, converse with Harry Palm, cook cucumbers, cook the clam, cook your nookie, cooking the cream of cock, corralling the tadpoles, couch hockey for one, countering cunts, catching a case of whackinitis, clit fix, cleaning the storm-drains, climbing Mount Baldy, climbing the tree, clobbering the kleenex, closet frisbee, closing the deal, clubbing eddy, clubbing the clam, coating prince william sound with love oil, cock the cannon, choke the gopher, choke the chook, choking Kojak, choking the bald guy until he pukes, choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come, choking Charlie 'till he throws up, choking the chipmunk, choke hold, circling the knoll, clam bake for one, clamming the engram, cleaning my fur coat, cleaning the fish, cleaning the rifle, caressing the kitty, carrying weight, charming the snake, cheat the meat, charm the cobra, checking the status of the I/O port, chicken-grabbing, chipping wood, beating around the bush, bleed the goose, bloating the vein, bollock service, bologna bop, bombing the German helmet, brushing the beaver, calling all cum, calling down for more mayo, candlesticking, caning the vandal, capturing the bishop, bat off, batting practice, battling the purple-helmeted warrior, banging the drum, bank with Barclays, Barclay's bank, bashing the bishop, bashing the candle, bashing the dummy, basting the tuna, beastliness, beating the bed flute, beating the bologna, beating off, beating the bishop, beating the bait, beating the boner, beating the snake, beating the pud, beating the old man, 3 point shot, 5-digit disco, accordion solo, ambidexterity, answer the bone-a-phone, applying lip gloss, applying for a fishing liscence, applying the hand brake, arm breaker, arm aerobics, addressing Mr. Palmer, adjusting your set, armswinging, art of unisex, assault on a friendly weapon, attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior, auditioning the hand puppet, audition the finger puppets, bachelor's delight, backstroke roulette, beating the bush, beating the meat, beating the piss outta my best friend, beating your meat on the toilet seat, beef-stroke-it-off, bell polishing, biffing off, big date with Rosy Palms, big stroke time, bishoprage, blooming, blowing your own horn, bludgeon the beefsteak, blue-vein shuffle, bob the bologna, bobbing the boloney, body rub, bop the mop, bopping the bologna, bopping the bishop, bopping Richard, bopping the bonzo, boxing the bald champ, boxing the ballsack, boxing the Bozak, boxing the bald-headed clown, boxing with Richard, boxing the clown, bucking it, buff the beaver, buff the dog, buff the mushroom, buff the pylon, buff the weasle, buffing, buffing the banana, buffing the box, buffing the bishop, buffing the helmet, buffing the jewel, buffing the magic lamp, buffing the wood, buffing the rifle, buggering the hand, burp the worm, burp the baldman, burping the baby, burping the worm, bury the salami, bury the weenie, bury the knuckle, butter the muffin, butter the bead, butter schlopping, butter the potato, buttering the corn, buttering the muffin, butting the bead, sanding the banister, sanding wood, running off a batch by hand, running Peter through two-a-days, running the 100-yard dash, running the whack-a-thon, running the cheeta, sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights, rubbing the pink eraser, run one's hand up the flagpole, rubbing the red pussycat, rubbing the rod, rubbing the donut, rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel, rubbing one out, rubbin nubbin, pushing the daisy and make it cum, pushing the button, rub your cooze 'til you ooze, rolling your own, rolling the dough, rolling the mink, rolling the fleshy blunt, Roman helmet rumba, romancing the bone, romancing Lady Five Fingers, romancing the rose, romancing thy own, Romeo and himself, roping the pope, roping the pony, roping the long horn, roughing up the suspect, row the little man in the boat, riding the great white knuckler, riding the wild hand, riding the waterslide, riding the unicycle, ring for the maid, ringing for the elevator, ringing southern bells, roasting chestnuts, rocking the little man in the boat, relaxation rubdown, relief massage, relieving tension, returning to sender, ride sidesaddle, ride the curl, ride the great white knuckler, ride the tubespout, ride the tubsput, pussy soccer, qualifying in the testicular time trial, R2 your D2, pull the pin, raising the mainsail, raking the leaves, rapid one arm pull-ups, ravage the innocent, reading in Braille, reading poetry, pump the python, pump the monkey, pumping cream, pumping for pleasure, pumping for power, pumping the gas at the self-service island, pumping the electric goo gun, pumping the stump, pumping the kooter, punching the clown, punchin' the munchkin, punching the puppet, punish Percy in the palm, punish the Harlequin, punish the penguin, punishing the pope, pull the duck's neck, pulling off, pulling on Peter, pulling the colonel sanders heimleich manuever, pull the pope, pulling the bologna pony, pulling the carrot, pulling the five-knuckle shuffle, pulling the cord, pulling the handbrake, pulling the goalie, pulling the pole, pulling the mule, pulling the putz, pulling the pope, pulling the pud, pulling the taffy, pulling the wire, pulling the weed, pulling your goalie, pulling your own leg, pulling your prick, pummeling the priest, pummel the love truncheon, praising the orchid, preheating the oven, preparing the carrot, pressing the pleats, pounding off, pounding the flounder, pounding the bald-headed moose, pounding the pud, pounding the pudding, pow-wow with the one-eyed Redskin, popping the zit, Portuguese pump, priming the pump, prodding the half-cooked pastrami, producing whore moans, prompt the porpoise, prostate maintenance, prime the pump, prime the womb cannon, molesting the mole, pub the dub, pudwhacking, poking the pucker, poking the pie, polish the bayonet, polish the chrome dome, polish the Oscar, polish the horn, polish the log, polish the pole, polish the shooter, polishing the beak, polish the viper, polishing Percy in your palm, polishing Charlie Brown, polishing the night stick, polishing the nugget, polishing the pud, polishing the pearl, polishing the helmet, polishing the family jewels, polishing the sword, polishing the peanut, polishing the silver, polishing the rocket, polishing the wedding ring, pollute, plucking the chicken, plumbing the bottomless pit of passion, plunking the twanger, playing pocket pinball, playing peek-a-boo (with Mr. Johnson), playing soapy Peter, point one's social finger, popping the purple pimple, playing tag with the pink torpedo, playing the beaver, playing the flesh flute, playing the hairy banjo, playing the flesh trombone, playing the fiddle, playing the man-flute, playing the one-stringed melody, playing the silent trombone, playing the pink oboe, playing the skin flute, playing uno, playing the slots, playing with dick, playing tug-o-war with the cyclops, playing with it, playing with Susi Palmer and her five friends, playing with the man in the boat, playing with the pink Power Ranger, playing with the pineapple, playing with the spitting llama, playing Yahtzee, playing with the turtle, playing with your big Alien, playing with your 6th finger, pleasing the pisser, paw-paw tricks, playing in a one-man show, playing a little five-on-one, playing a little game of five on one, playing a bass solo, playing a one-stringed guitar, playing a solo on the meat whistle, petting the snake, petting the Wookie, petting your dog, phoning the czar, piddle the pud, pink piston practice, pipping the pumpkin, pitch a knuckle ball, pitching in the bush leagues, play a flute solo on one's meat whistle, petting kitty, petting the kitty, petting Snoopy, petting the lizard, petting the bunny, perling the oyster, peddle and crank, peeling the banana, peeling some chilies, peeling the chile, peeling the carrot, performing diagnostics on your mantool, performing a self-test, performing for Mr. Swaggart, performing a pearl jam, performing an organ solo, Palmala Handerson, Palmolive finger dip, pampering the pussy, parting the red sea, parting the petals, parting the waters, passing math, launching the hand shuttle, launching the head of a world-cup golfer, launching a class probe, launching the tadpoles, leaking the main drain, killing off, killing it, kneading the knockwurst, jerking jamby, jerking the turkey, jerking the merkin, jerking the noodle, jerking the gherkin, jerking the wheel, jerkin's hand lotion, jiggling the dice, jiggling your cockanballs, jimmying the joey, jiring one's wad, jizzlobbing, J/O scene, Jocelyn Eldering, juggling the coullions, ironing some wrinkles, itching the ditch, jacking, jacking off, jacking the beanstalk, jam the joystick, jerk job, jerk the gherkin, hotdog-a-rama, housebreaking the cat, ignite the lightsaber, in the hand cream, installing a burglar alarm, invading Poland, invoking Venus, honking Bobo, have a date with a handkerchief, having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel, hula-hooping, humping the hose, humping air, hurting Burt until he squirts, having one off the wrist, having some clam dip, hee-haw with the wrinkled mee-maw, helping the python shed its skin, herkin' the gherkin, hiking the Grand Canyon, hit on Rosy Palm, hitchhiking south, hitchhiking underneath the big top, holding my own, holding the sausage hostage, holding on to a family heirloom, holding your sausage hostage, hands on training, handy work, hanging five, hanging the old man, hard labor, harp playing, having a ball, having a date with Fisty Palmer, having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake, having a J. Arthur, having a ham shank, having a five-knuckle-shuffle, having a roy, having a one-night-stand with yourself, having a sherman, having a whack attack, having a tug-of-war with the cyclops, ham shank, hand labor, hand relief, hand to gland combat, hand shandy, hand work, handful of pleasure, a, Han Solo, hand game, hand fuck, hand gallop, hand jive, hand jig, one gun salute, one man show, one-legged race, one man tug-o-war, one off the wrist, one-two, one-stick drum improvisation, packaging the ol' sausage, packing the palm, paddling the peter, paddling the pickle, paddle the pickle, paddling the robin, paddling the pink canoe, paint the ceiling, painting the pickle, painting the walls, palming the calm, navel maneuvers, nerking the throbber, non-penile pleasure pursuit, nulling the void, nuzzle the fuzz, oiling the glove, oiling the pogo stick, on the waterslide, Onan's Olympics, onania, muffing buffing, mule breeding, murder the Bishop, moving into a one-bedroom apartment, moving the stone, much goo about nothing, milking the cow, milking the moose, milking the weasel, milking the musket, milkywaying, minding my own business, mistressbate, masonic secret self handshake, massage the fireman's neck, massage the one-eyed monk, massage your muscle, massage your purple-headed warrior, master bacon, maximize your potency, measuring for condoms, meet Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters, meet your right-hand man, meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters, meeting Rosie Hancock, meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, merry widow waltz, messing with Moby, milk the chicken, milk the maggot, milk the lizard, milking the bull, loving the muppet, make fist-kabobs, make love with Rosy Palm and her five sisters, make love with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, make silly with the Willy, make the tide come in, loading the cannon, looking for ticks, looking for uboats, love's labors lost, lubing the tube, maintaining a holding pattern, look in the mirror, little pinky hit the slinky, lightening the load, lighting the candle, lighting the pipe, knuckling the bone, levy break limbo, keep a date with bobby palm and his five brother, manual labor, manual preference, manually-assisted wet dream, manustupration, kicking seamen, manual override, making a finger sandwich, making a foreskin cone, making a six-fist, making duck butter, making five fingers, making instant pudding, making friends with Big Ed, making nut butter, making love with Miss Right, making soup, making the bald man cry, making oyster soup, making the bald man puke, making the kitty purr, making the scene with the magazine, making vanilla jism shakes, making the oysters smile, making yogurt, making yourself at home, man overboard, mangling the midget, manning the cannon, manipulating the mango, manning the cockpit, yucking your choad, yanking the crank, yanking the plank, yanking the yoyo, yank the yam, yank the wang, yank the Yoda, yank the yak, Yankee your Wankee, yank the dork, yank the plank, yank the shlong, yank the crank, yank the doodle, yank the strap, wringing the cheesy bell, wrestling the eel, wrestling the purple headed warrior, wringing out the rope, wrist job, wrist aerobics, wristing, wrestling the bald(-headed) champion, wriggle, wrestling with the blue-veined custard chucker, wrestle the bald-headed champion, wrestle the cyclops, wrestling the one-eyed monster, wrestling the cyclops, wrestling with the bald(-headed) champ, worshiping the white god of seed, wiggling the worm, wild ride, the, workin' the jerkin, working in the garden, working out a stiff joint, working off, working your willy, working off a batch, wave the wand, whank off, whiffing an easy fairway shot, wonking the donk, winding the Wurlitzer, winding the jack in the box, windsurf on Mount Baldy, womanipulation, wonk your conker, wonking the conker, wonk the conker, whipping the weasel, whipping up some sour cream, whipping your Willy, whipping Willy the one-eyed wonder-worm, whipping the wire, white water wristing, whittling the stick, whiz the jizzum, whizzing the jism, whittling Dixie, whizzing jism, whittle the wood, wax the dolphin, wax the carrot, wax the womb-broom, waxing the car, waxing the carrot, waxing the t-bird, waxing the surfboard, wearing a fat guys slacks, whack little Mac, whacking off, whacking willy, whacking Wee Willie Winkie, whacking the weasel, whip the dummy, whip the cat, whip the devil, whip the weenie, whip the worm, whip the wire, whip the dripper, whipping the dripper, whipping the nest, whipping the bishop, whipping dripping, whipping the one-eyed trouser snake, whipping the cat, whipping the stiff, whipping the dummy, wax the Buick, wapping your weenie, warming up the altar boys' dinner, wash the cosh, wash your fingers, washing the hog, washing the goose's neck, washing the lighthouse, washing the fingers, washing the meat, wank the crank, wanker the anchor, wanking the one-eyed wonder worm, wanking one-eyed Willy, wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel, wanking the scube, wacking the weasel, wake the butterfly, walk through the valley of love, walk the dog, walking old one-eye, walking Willie the one eyed wonder worm, walking the plank, walking the dog, walking the snake, waltz with Willy, visit Father Fingers, violating the hedge-hog, tweaking the twinkie, toss the boss, tweak the twinkie, visiting Merry Palmer, visiting the safety deposit box, visiting the notary public, visiting Niagra Falls, wacking off, wacking the willie, wacking the one-eyed worm, wacking Wee Willie Wonka, twirl the squirrel, twist the turnip, twit the clit, twisting the crank, twisting the piston, twisting the tool, two finger taco tango, two fingered tango, Uncle Frank, unclogging the drain, unclogging the sink, unleash the fury, unloading passengers from the five-car train, unloading the gun, unsheathing the pork sword, uprooting the big mushroom, using the force on Darth Vader, varnishing the flagpole, tweak the twig, turning japanese, turning on, tuning in and dropping out, tugging the slug, tugging the tapioca tube, tuning the fork, tuning the horn, train the love porpoise, traveling past the mason-dixon line, trolling for flames, trolling the bermuda triangle, trouser olympics, trouser snake CPR, trying to make One-Eyed Willy puke, TT, touching oneself, thump the pump, tickling the little man in the boat, tickling the one-eyed weasel, tickling the pickle, tossing pink salad, tossing the ham javelin, tossing the caber, tossing the pink salad, tossing the snag, tossing the salad, tossing the turkey, tossing yogurt, tenderizing the meat, tenderizing the tube steak, test the flashlight, testicular tensile strength test, testing the batteries, testing the testicles, testing the plumbing, that crazy hand jive, teasing the kitty, teasing the taco, teasing the tuna, thrapping, teasing the weasel, teasing the weenie, thump the pumper, tickle the ditty, tickle the taco, tickle the mustache, tickle the pickle, tickle torture, tiptoe through the twolips, toggling the bit, tonking, toot the flute, tooting the horn, torking the power rod, torking the fork, torment the trouser trout, torquing the wrench, torquing the taliwacker, torturing the tentacle, toss it off, serta solo, setting off a depth charge, setting the oysters, see Madam(e) Thumb and her four daughters, see if the baby's home, self-inflicted intercourse, self-induced penile regurgitation, informal values, schnauzer shuffleboard, schplitzing the schmeckel, scoring the hoop, scouring the tower of power, scraping the horn, scratch the crack, scratching the snatch patch, scratch the patch, scratch the snatch, scratching the itch, scrub the cake pan, scuff the muff, scuffing the muff, se branler, se crosser, se passer un poignet, se faire les cinq doigts de la main, search for Spock, secret indulgence, secret handshake, shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln, shaking hands with Little Elvis, shaking hands with Mr. Happy, shaking hands with Mr. President, shaking hands with Shorty, shaking hands with Jack Mcnasty, shaking hands with the unemployed, shaking hands with the midget, shaking hands with the General, shaking hands with the guy that stood up when I got married, shaking hands with the wife's best friend, shaking hands with your John Thomas, shaking hands with Yul Brenner, shaking the bottle, shaking the dice, shaking the sauce, shaking the hand of the unemployed, shaking the sausage, shaking the hand of the self-employed, shaking the snake, shaking your (own) maracas, shaking your fist at the sky, shaking your hand at the sky, shanking, shake it up, shelling the bean, shellacking the shellaleigh, shifting gears, shifting into first gear, shining the pole, shine the pole, shining the helmet, shining the pork sword, shemping the hog, shooting for the moon, shooting flies, shooting hoops, shooting (off) the muck, shooting putty at the moon, shooting tadpoles at the moon, shooting the rapids, shuffle the deck, shuck the corn, shuffling the Kit-Kat, sin of impurity, single dingles, slamming the salami, slamming the hammer, slamming the ham, slamming the salmon, slamming the spam, slap the little head, slap the hammer, slap the wapper, slapping it, slapping high fives with Yul Brynner, slapping pappy, slapping the big-nosed rasta man, slapping the Cap'n, slapping the clown, slapping the carrot, slapping the donkey, slapping the fleshgopher, slapping the mackerel, slapping the salami, slapping the purple headed yogurt pistol, slapping the pud, slaughter of the innocent, slaying the one-eyed monster, snuggle the nozzle, soaking in Palmolive, soaking the whisker biscuit, soldier's joy, solitary evil, smacking the salami, smacking your sister, smacking the sausage, smacking the oompa loompa, smacking the weasel, self-service, southern massage, sling one's jelly, sling one's juice, slinging the jelly, slipping yourself a mickey, slog the log, slopping the hogs, sloppy sign language, smacking-off, smoking hooch with reagan, snapping one off, snap the rubber, snapping the carrot, snapping the monkey, snapping the twig, snapping the rubber, snapping the whip, strike the pink match, stroke the purple-nosed gusset ferret, stroke the Wookie, stroke your ego, strokem your scrotum, stroking it, stroking off, stir the yogurt, stirring the yogurt, stirring the batter, stoking the furnace, straddle the paddle, strain the main vein, strangle Kojak, spit-polishing the purple helmet, stirring it up, strangle the dangle, strangle the stogie, straining the spaghetti, strangle Yoda, strangling the serpent, stacking the deck, staff meeting, stiffening the upper lip, squeezing the squid, squeezing the juice, squeezing the creamy filter, squeezing the lemon, squeezing the weasel, spank the hangdown, spank the bishop, spank the carrot, spank the little boy, spanking cheetah, spanking the bishop, spanking Elvis, spank the wank, spank the wife's best friend, spanking the frank, spanking the salami, spear chucking, spelunking, spraying the spectators, spreading the petals, spunk the monk, spunking, talking quietly to yourself, taunting the one-eyed weasel, teach our children to fly, teach your dog to spit, taking ol' one eye through the fly, taking some time off, taking the Jocelyn Elders midterm, taking the monster for a one-armed ride, taking the old skin boat to tuna town, taming the animal, taming the shrew, tango con mano, taffy-pulling contest, take a load off your mind, take a ride on the mean spanking machine, take Captain Picard to warp speed, take ol' stiff neck to the movies, taking a nap, taking a dip, taking matters into one's own hands, taking a trip south, taking Herman to the circus, taking a shake break, taking old one-eye to the optometrist, swat the twat, strumming, strumming the Big Open, stuff the taco, summon the genie, summoning the semen demon, surfing at finger beach, surf the wet, surfing the channel, surfing on the Milky Highway, sushi party, stroking the dog, stroking the lizard, stroking the poker, stroking the one-eyed burping gecko, stroking the loaf, stroking the mole, stroking the satin-headed serpent, stroking the schlong, stroking the scoobie, stroking the snail, stroking the twinkie, stroking the wiener, stroking the squirmin' german, stropping the mulligan, stropping the beak, strum the ol' banjo, team cream, selbst befriedigung, theater in the round, wack the weasel, wack your squack, wank mag, whanking date, make love to oneself, jollification, masterbation, onanistic, mentulalgia, hand book, jack-and-jill-off party, play solitaire, prick rag, pull someone off, puppetophilia, rub it off, beating the stick, amatripsis, bring someone off, coitus inter digitae, dame de voyage, dildoism, do-it-yourself, Dutch sea wife, fifi bag, full-service, frig oneself, get to know yourself, manual release, manual persuasion, manual gratification, manual orgasm, manual sex, manual titillation, manual exercise(s), masturbate, jack-off session, going blind, playing chopsticks, go it alone, double jacking, dealing, be your own best friend, abuse oneself, self-abuse, secret sin, sew, self-pollution, taking part in population control, swordfighting, Swedish culture, sweep off, suffocate the organ, syntribadism, take a beating, take a finger ride, take in hand, taking care of business, take oneself in hand, tame the beef weasel, tame the monster, teach Yule Brenner some respect, tap-dance, tap dancing, tame the bald-headed mouse, squeeze it off, squeeze off, squeeze the peach, squeezing the cheese, spit one off, spackling the ceiling, spam wham, stir the cauldron, squirt seed, squirting the seed, squirt one off, stir the stew, spit the seeds, split the slit, strain the vein, stroking and poking, stroke the lizard, stroke the poker, stroke the stallion, stroke oneself, stroke off, stroke the beef, stroke the slit, stroke the string, stroke the bloke, stroke the dog, self-pleasure, self-pleasuring, shake hands with the governor, self-gratification, shoot the cat, shoot skeet, Sherman, Sherman tank, shake the snake, shake the weasel, shake up, she-bop, shelling the oyster, solo spit, solo flight, solo marathon, smash the stake, slick abuse, slide the shaft, slimmer, sing an aria, sing with Rosie, shift gears, skin the bone, skin the lizard, slam the clam, slam the ham, slam the spam, whank, whack off, whack the pud, whack the bishop, whack the yak, whack your Magic Johnson, whacking it, wet the whistle, whack it, whack, whipping off, wienering, wonk off, work it off, work off, work oneself off, whip it, wax the candle-stick, wrench off, yang the wang, yank (it), wrist-off, yank your wank, yank your strap, yank off, yank yourself (off), yanking off, wang off, visit Mrs. Palm and her 5 daughters, wankrod, wank on it, waste time, watch the eyelid movies, wax the board, wax the bean, wax the beam, wax the saddle, waste a short time, water the hot spot, waving the magic wand, wackomatic, twiddle with oneself, virgin's release, vibrating masturbator, unclog the pipes, thrap(e), throttle kojak, throttle the turkey, throw the ball around, throwing (one), technical virgin, tease the python, toss him off, tickling her fancy, thumb the button, tee off, touch up, tip the middle finger, tickle the crack, tug muscle, triborgasmia, turn the knob, twang the wire, tweak the twiddle, accosting the Oscar Meyer, activating cruise control, armswing, ball off, balling off, auto-genital stimulation, arthur, articulate the archdeacon, airing the orchid, allantotrioism, beat, bang the bishop, bang the banjo, bang the wanger, basting the meat, beat meat, beat one's little brother, beat Pete, beat the beaver, beat the bishop, beat the bald-headed bandit, beat the dork, beat the goose, beat the hog, beat the pud, beat the pup, beat the tom-tom, beat your meat like it owes you money, beating about the bush, buying an E-Ticket, buzzing, cabareting, brandle, break one off, bring oneself off, bring off by hand, bringing oneself off, bring up by hand, boffing, blanket drill, bequeath your genes, deep dishing, dicky-whacking, digitate, digitating, dating my palm, date Palmala Handerson, date mother palm and her five daughters, dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters, dancing with the captain, dash one's doodle, cunt-cuddling, cracking off, court Madam Knuckle, crab tease, crack off a batch, color in the coloring book, combing the brush, come into your own, come the turkey, comforting Gary Coleman, coming into your own, coming one's mutton, cuff the dummy, cuff the puppy, cuff the carrot, cuff the meat, crank the love pump, crank the cream separator, crank the cream, crank the monkey, crank the shaft, crank the shank, cranking for cum, cream your corn, creamed beef, clitorize, cock your shotgun, cleaning your fingers, clearing the snorkel, clamping the pipe, clap the clit, chong your schlong, churning the cream, circle fuck, buck the bone, caress oneself, bookends, bop the baloney, blooch, beating it with a smile on your face, choke the bad guy, choke the chicken, chicken-milking, cheesing off, charm the serpent, check the oil, checking for impotence, checking for testicular cancer, checking the foxhole, checking the oil, catch up with Popeye, charge the rod, douse the digits, draw on a length, drilling for oil, do oneself, do the dew, do the wet-n-stinky, do yourself off, doing a little soft-shoe, doodle the noodle, empty the cannon, dunk the doughnut, dunking the beaver, drain Charle's Dickens, dry-firing the musket, dilly with the willy, disobey the Pope, do a dry waltz with oneself, do it with oneself, do handiwork, dip the digit(s), discipline your soldier, diddling, digitize, doing your own thing, dollop the weener, fight the champ, fight the turkey, fidget with the digit, fingering the clit, fire the hand cannon, fisting the mister, fist the mister, fist-fuck, fist it off, engaging in safe sex, express yourself (manually), fan the fur, feed the bearded clam, feed the beaver, feed the ducks, feed the clam, feed the cat, feed the stick, feed the fist, feel the fur, feeding the bearded clam, feeding the slot, feeding the other mouth, fare un ditolino, go on a hand diet, go to war with yourself, give it a one-gun salute, give oneself a handjob, give oneself a low five, give oneself the finger, giving it a tug, gentle the genitalia, grease the gash, grease the goofy, grease the dildo, going on a finger ride, going cabareting, grab the flab, grab the goatee, gristle rub, grind off, grip it, hair-job, hack off, fuck the fist, fuck your fist, get a fat lip, get a lube job, get a stinky pinky, get gravel for the goose, get one's ashes hauled, get one's balls off, get one's nuts off, get some self, get some trim, fluff the muff, flong the dong, flopping beef, fuck Mary Fist, fuck one's fist, friggit, friggle, frig off, flit the clit, flog a dead horse, flog, flog a willing horse, flicking the switch, flick the bean, flick on over the thumb, flip the flaps, flex one's sex, flog the lizard, flog the hog, flog the log, flog the meat, flog the mutton, flog the old whipping-boy, flog the pup, flog the pork, flog the sausage, flogging the dog, flog the whipping-boy, flogging the dolphin, flogging the dong, flog (oneself), flog the dolphin, flog the dog, flog the goose, flog the dong, flog the dummy, playing pocket pool, play the bones, play the clitar, play the fiddle, play the male organ, play the silent trumbone, play the piss pipe, play with your Willy Wanker, play with Willy Wanker, please the pisser, pat me muller, pat the Robertson, perm the poodle, pet the petunia, pet the pussy (cat), pet the poodle, play pocket billiards, play pocket pool, pinch the cat, pound it, pound off, pound the bobo, pound the meat, pound the peenie, pound the flounder, pound the pud, puff the one-eyed dragon, pull it (off), pull one off, pull one's dong, pull one's joint, pull one's wang, pull putz, pull the joint, prime it, prune the fifth limb, popping the cork, poke the pussy, playing solitaire, pocket billiards, pocket pinball, pocket polka, pocket pool, pocket waltz, popping a nut, rub off, rub off by hand, rub the (little) head, rub the magic lamp, rub one out, rub the knob, rub the radish, rub the tub, ruff the muff, run off by hand, run a batch, satisfy oneself, salute the sailor, rheomism, rheononia, rowing the boat, pull the pole, raise the flag, raising Lazarus from the dead, reading with one hand, rake your meat, ram the ham, rank, punt the cunt, pump one's pickle, pump oneself off, pump off, pull the pork, pull the root, pull the pud, pull the taffy, pull your prick, pulling a solo session, pull wire, pulling rank, pull the peter, pudding head, hose the hole, hot rod it, having dinner, have a wank, have one off the wrist, husk it, hump the hose, hump the horn, hump the bump, hold the bold, hone the bone, hit the ham, hit the slit, hitchhike under the big top, hand lotion, hand-staff, having a tug, haul your own ashes, jack the corn, jack the beanstalk, jack the sack, jack the joystick, jack yourself, jack your jizz, in hand, hug the hog, jack hammer, jag off, jerk the mutton, jerk the rope, jerk the joint, jerk the turkey, jerk the Turk, jerk jelly, jerk the johnson, jeff off, jerk Jamby, juice it up, juice the fruit, jump start the river, just jerkin' it, jog off, jilling off, jerk your jewels, jiggle the jewelry, knead your dough, knitting, knock on wood, knock the top off, leave it to beaver, leglock the pillow, Levy and Frank, milking one's self, mix up a batch, mustard on the burger, night-club, non-orthogenic sex, palm it, oscillating the Oscar Meyer, pack the palm, manuxorate, maritate, joyce off, kick the gong around, light touch body rub, looking askance, make a bald man cry, make a milkshake, make butter, make bumps, make waves (for the boy-in-the-boat), make love to ones fist, lube the cord.....

Geez....Makes you wonder...."Buying an E ticket, Levy & Frank"?

 

[mcopado]

too true doc...my eyes have gone http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_6.gif just from scanning the list!

Are you sure THAT'S why your eyes have gone http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_6.gif ....perhaps too much "gusset typing" perhaps?

 

[yui]

bump for the Asian Princess.

 

[SeaCat]

ROTFLMAO

Cat

 

[asian_princess]

ROTFLMAO

Cat

me finks Cat just read "shaking hands with the wife's best friend"

 

[asian_princess]

where to go, where to go from here...

 

[mcopado]

where to go, where to go from here...

Still wondering where you are going from here.........

Maybe if I cleaned up the place a bit, you'll come back and learn us some more words

 

[Aurora Black]

Bump.

 

[asian_princess]

OMG! a bump?! where did that come from...thanks aurora, my beauty wrote this post before i saw thread had life...slipping as it were..

===

Ok, months of procrastination…I may be back on track.

Let's dispense with the niceties…inspired somewhat by a particularly touching song I recently had the pleasure of hearing, entitled, Do You Take It? (thank you, to you know who you are )…today, it's all about how Baby Got Back…The Buttocks.

The medical name, deriving from the latin for largest rump, is gluteus maximus.

Romantic, yes.

The earliest English name for said oh so cushiony area was lenden, or used more often than not, the plural form, lendenu…because, frankly, when you're talking about buttocks, you're usually getting a pair.
Lenden is actually derived from the Latin, lumbus, which is also the base form for loin. mmm talk about back to front.

But where oh were did the god given word, arse come from…?

For this treasure we must thank the Greek word oura, meaning tail.

….and no, arse, as Dirty Word: The History of Sex Tail so eloquently points out "while the human arse is sometimes loaded with explosive charges, its name has no conection with the similar sounding, arsenal."

In its baby days, arse had no taboo connotations ..(taboo??? ) and was used with the same tone now reserved for buttocks. However, in the mid-1700's arse was considered such a no-no that it is represented quite frequently with asterisks to represent the middle letters - a**e. ick.

But thanks to the Americanisation of the word in both spelling and pronunciation to ass (don’t blame me DV!)…much of the taboo was lost…probably because the use of ass, as an insult (personally I prefer, hey, donkey boy, but that's just me ) had already been used for centuries.

Now, as for other words..of course there's the usual suspects, the butt, rear, bum, buns...but look…lets face it…there's no beating arse…guess that'll bring our words for tomorrow to…spanking.

 

[Aurora Black]

OMG! a bump?! where did that come from...thanks aurora, my beauty wrote this post before i saw thread had life...slipping as it were...

For this treasure we must thank the Greek word oura, meaning tail…

You're very welcome. Now excuse me while I shake my oura...

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hear ye, hear ya, all ye sinners!

Come hear the tale of the "sin of self-pollution"...or so masturbation was called in 1626...which was only to be replaced in 1710, with the publication of:

Onania: The Heinous Sin Of Self Pollution, And All It's Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes Considered, With Spiritual And Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This Abominable Practice (i could've "self-polluted" myself twice already in the time it takes to read that title).

Onan- of course, being the unfortunate soul who, in doing what he thought was a good deed by trying to impregnate his widowed sis-in-law (sounds like a story half of us have written) has a last minute change of heart and withdrew from her "spilling his seed upon the ground" which pissed off Almighty apparently who turned Onan into kitty litter.
...and so the birth of the term : onanism.

However, onanism had a rival ...(the term onanism that is, not the act, which still seems to reign today ... )

the combination of two latin word...manus, meaning hand and stuprare, meaning to defile, bred the term...
MASTURBATION, meaning, to defile with the hand.

...following, a list of commonly heard words in the hallowed hallways of Lit.
Wank: derivaing from whack and spank,
Jack-off: from e"jac"ulate, which is first recorded in use in 1916.
To diddle: coming from, to shake or to quiver
Frigging: to move briskly.

the endless, and ever-growing list for male masturbation often describes maturbation as a violent attack... beating the meat, pound the pudding, spanking the donkey...and also the use of choking or strangling like choke the chicken, strangling Kojak (is this because of the bald head??!! ) and of course perenial favourites, whack the weasel, club the baby seal, and flog your pride!!

and my own persnal favs...slang that refers to the act in terms of ejaculation...cream your corn, make instant pudding, hold the mayo...etc

so here's a towel, my masochistic chefs, no mayo for me, but knock yoursleves out, all ye delightful sinners

A small qibble: Onan didn't actually masturbate; he used a primitive means of birth control, withdrawl. He didn't whip his willy; he sawed it in and out of his in-law's pussy until he was about to climax, then withdrew to "sew his seed on the ground." Whether God, who seems to have gotten pissed off pretty easily, would have offed a masurbator is doubtful.

Also about "jackoff": I've always thought this was a comparison to an automobile jack, which was also pumped up and down.