Dick Demands

[Turks_baby_girl]

Am i the really the only female in America who doesn't like performing fellatio? i certainly feel like i am, but here's my delimma: i keep getting into trouble for this very same issue almost on a weekly basis. i don't like, and never have liked, performing orally on a man. i did it, but up until now, it wasn't a daily requirement. Not only am i required to perform "dick worship," i am also expected to "deep throat" the thing at the same time! And no matter how hard i try to enjoy it with Daddy, i'm still left feeling a little grossed-out when i'm done. This has caused many problems, because the more i get my ass in trouble, the more of a chore it becomes, and the less i want to do it. i don't even think Daddy enjoys it as He probably should, its just making sure i do what i'm told. And when i don't in the time He feels it should be done..... its "assume the position!" i don't get physically punished all the time, but there are some long conversations about my responsibilities, and how my "defiance" makes Him feel.
There has to be a way to enjoy doing this. i love Daddy and He is very, very good to me. i do it as much as i can, but i want to be able to enjoy this and look forward to doing it more frequently so that He can enjoy it as well.
Don't blast me on this one..... this is a very sensitive topic. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks
baby_girl

 

[Miss Trickery]

Am i the really the only female in America who doesn't like performing fellatio? i certainly feel like i am, but here's my delimma: i keep getting into trouble for this very same issue almost on a weekly basis. i don't like, and never have liked, performing orally on a man. i did it, but up until now, it wasn't a daily requirement. Not only am i required to perform "dick worship," i am also expected to "deep throat" the thing at the same time! And no matter how hard i try to enjoy it with Daddy, i'm still left feeling a little grossed-out when i'm done. This has caused many problems, because the more i get my ass in trouble, the more of a chore it becomes, and the less i want to do it. i don't even think Daddy enjoys it as He probably should, its just making sure i do what i'm told. And when i don't in the time He feels it should be done..... its "assume the position!" i don't get physically punished all the time, but there are some long conversations about my responsibilities, and how my "defiance" makes Him feel.
There has to be a way to enjoy doing this. i love Daddy and He is very, very good to me. i do it as much as i can, but i want to be able to enjoy this and look forward to doing it more frequently so that He can enjoy it as well.
Don't blast me on this one..... this is a very sensitive topic. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks
baby_girl

I knew a girl who disliked doing fellatio. I, on the other hand, enjoy it. However, I think the best thing that could have been done in your case - would have been to ease you into the whole thing rather than just lay out some fellatio demands - especially when you dislike it. Some people just don't like to do certain things, some people do. Some people manage to overcome while others continue to dislike what they dislike.

Perhaps you could talk with your man, let him know how you feel and ask him to allow yourself to ease into the whole thing. Naturally, explaining to him, that it may be a whole helluva lot better for the both of you once that is achieved.

 

[chris9]

I don't know how to make you like oral. It's pretty clear though that by force you might get someone to accomplish a task, even correctly, but not to enjoy it.
Just imagine a teacher giving you lines (writing 100 times something) for being bored in their class and expecting you to become interested by this.

Maybe you two can come to an agreement that you take it ever so slow? Maybe start with little peck-like kissed up and down, then get your hands nice and oily and start a massage. Maybe that way you can 'build up a relationship' with his penis, so to speak. And then, when you feel you like it, lick it a bit. That way, you might not be the perfect pyl instantly, but it could just be more enjoyable to him, too.
If you're going to deep-throat, especially if you're learning how to, it's important that you can relax. And it sure helps to enjoy doing this.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

Chris and Miss Trickery, i appreciate your replies. i am no stranger to orally servicing a man, just not being expected to perform it on a very regular basis. The deep-throating, i have to say, was totally new for me, and while i have managed to do it, as good as a novice can, i still don't like it. my problem is that i feel really bad for disliking this so much, especially when i know it makes Him happy. He has been patient on the deep-throating issue, and taught me how to do it properly, and He's allowed me to take that part of it slowly to get used to the sensations of gagging and the like. But i am more gagging because i'm slightly disgusted, more than being choked by His penis.
After the time that's passed, He's growing more and more impatient with me because He feels like i should have gotten used to it by now. Telling Him that i don't like it...... pointless. i can't say that He's being insensitive about it, because its a small task to perform. i just have to figure out a way to enjoy it, or perform like i am enjoying it.
Thanks, both, for your input.
baby_girl

 

[chris9]

Chris and Miss Trickery, i appreciate your replies. i am no stranger to orally servicing a man, just not being expected to perform it on a very regular basis. The deep-throating, i have to say, was totally new for me, and while i have managed to do it, as good as a novice can, i still don't like it. my problem is that i feel really bad for disliking this so much, especially when i know it makes Him happy. He has been patient on the deep-throating issue, and taught me how to do it properly, and He's allowed me to take that part of it slowly to get used to the sensations of gagging and the like. But i am more gagging because i'm slightly disgusted, more than being choked by His penis.
After the time that's passed, He's growing more and more impatient with me because He feels like i should have gotten used to it by now. Telling Him that i don't like it...... pointless. i can't say that He's being insensitive about it, because its a small task to perform. i just have to figure out a way to enjoy it, or perform like i am enjoying it.
Thanks, both, for your input.
baby_girl

I don't think you will ever be able to perform LIKE your enjoying, unless you ARE.
Maybe some of the others with more of a D/s relationship will be able to say something about this. I'm thinking that he can force you to DO something that you don't like to do, but not to make you FEEL something you don't. If he can't enjoy it as much when you are not enjoying it, that's not really your problem. He can take some other options, or learn to find it erotic to have you doing what you don't like to do.
If you haven't gotten used to it in the time he thought it would take you to arrive there, he probably either hasn't giving you enough time, or hasn't helped you along enough to make you get there. It's nothing you can change, and it's one of those points where real life differs from stories. Actual living people might have some problems, might need more time to learn something, or maybe never learn it. IMO that's what everyone has to deal with in every relationship (not only D/s). Some expectations will not be met. Others will be over-achieved. Both can cause problems that need to be dealt with patiently and maybe with some compromise so it will be enjoyable for all parties involved.

 

[Master Sensei]

This may not be appropriate, but I'll be damned if I can't help feeling bad for "the Turk." heh

 

[shy slave]

I am not going to be much help as its one thing I could do for hours.

However I appreciate how difficult it can be if you really don't like something and they do.

You express both sides of the dilemma well.

Getting over a feeling of disgust for an action isn't ever going to be easy.

If it were me I would look at the reasons behind my dislike and be honest with myself.
It wouldn't be something I would necessarily share with him.
Not because I have secrets,
but because not all of the reasons will be completely rational.
The irrational aspects could detract from the real issue, which is how to overcome your dislike.
The other reason for me, would be men are usually quite protective of their dicks; if I were to say to him 'actually it bends in a strange way and I find it off-putting' he would be offended.

Once I had looked at every reason I would look at ways to resolve them individually.
Some of those things will require his input. If, for example, you want it washed and fresh before it goes near your mouth.

Other ways to overcome it may be to look at how people become desenstized to fears or issues they have; for example fear of spiders.
Some of those techniques may be easily transferred over to your dislike.

If he is agreeable you don't always have to put it in your mouth.
You could run it over your lips and/or hair, across your breasts etc.

I realise that, for him, it does not compare to the sensation of being in your mouth; but it may help you overcome some of your dislike of oral sex.

If you manage to overcome this dislike please consider letting us know how you did it, no matter how many months it takes you.
One of the reasons for asking is I dislike recieving oral sex, and can't seem to get over my dislike of his tongue fiddling around down there.

An exchange of helpful ideas is always useful to me.

Thanks
x

 

[graceanne]

I've said it before, in the 'Oral Servitude' thread, I do NOT like giving blow jobs. I do it, cause K wants me to, but I sure don't get any sexual thrill from it.

I'd say that to get in less trouble you need to a) get over the idea that you should enjoy everything you two do. So you don't like it? Condisder it an act of service. Something you do FOR him. b) Enjoy the DOMINATION of the act. I don't enjoy giving head, but I can get a little enjoyement when he tells me to.

 

[rosco rathbone]

That's really too bad. I don't think that it is possible to fake oral servitude, no matter how much you want to. You either have it or you don't. If you aren't getting turned on by the act of servitude, he is going to know. Sounds like a fundamental oral mismatch.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

This may not be appropriate, but I'll be damned if I can't help feeling bad for "the Turk." heh

i feel bad for Him too. Is it a "man-thing" when a girl can't love your dick as much as she loves you??? Is that insulting in some way???
baby_girl

 

[Master Sensei]

i feel bad for Him too. Is it a "man-thing" when a girl can't love your dick as much as she loves you??? Is that insulting in some way???
baby_girl

Honey, all I can tell you is what my opinion is. I won't own any girl who doesn't enjoy "oral servitude" and the occasional throat rape. Period.

That doesn't mean that you aren't a fine girl for someone else, but just not me.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

I've said it before, in the 'Oral Servitude' thread, I do NOT like giving blow jobs. I do it, cause K wants me to, but I sure don't get any sexual thrill from it.

I'd say that to get in less trouble you need to a) get over the idea that you should enjoy everything you two do. So you don't like it? Condisder it an act of service. Something you do FOR him. b) Enjoy the DOMINATION of the act. I enjoy giving head, but I can get a little enjoyement when he tells me to.

Graceanne.... it would be so much easier if He told me too, instead of waiting on me to do it willingly. And while i do it as an act of service, i know that He knows that i don't like it...... and for that i feel REALLY guilty.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

I am not going to be much help as its one thing I could do for hours.

However I appreciate how difficult it can be if you really don't like something and they do.

You express both sides of the dilemma well.

Getting over a feeling of disgust for an action isn't ever going to be easy.

Once I had looked at every reason I would look at ways to resolve them individually.
Some of those things will require his input. If, for example, you want it washed and fresh before it goes near your mouth.

Other ways to overcome it may be to look at how people become desenstized to fears or issues they have; for example fear of spiders.
Some of those techniques may be easily transferred over to your dislike.

If he is agreeable you don't always have to put it in your mouth.
You could run it over your lips and/or hair, across your breasts etc.

I realise that, for him, it does not compare to the sensation of being in your mouth; but it may help you overcome some of your dislike of oral sex.

If you manage to overcome this dislike please consider letting us know how you did it, no matter how many months it takes you.
One of the reasons for asking is I dislike recieving oral sex, and can't seem to get over my dislike of his tongue fiddling around down there.

An exchange of helpful ideas is always useful to me.

Thanks
x

Shy Slave.... He is always squeaky clean before any part of Him enters me, and vice versa. The good part of it all, is that He shows great affection when i do a good job, and its always nice hearing "good girl" when i've managed to please Him.
I will certainly let you know what/how/when i got over this and managed to come to love it. i knows its possible... its got to be a mind thing i have to overcome. Finding out the "why's" as to not liking it is a good suggestion.
Thanks
baby_girl

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

That's really too bad. I don't think that it is possible to fake oral servitude, no matter how much you want to. You either have it or you don't. If you aren't getting turned on by the act of servitude, he is going to know. Sounds like a fundamental oral mismatch.

Rosco...... i appreciate your comment on getting turned on by the "act of servitude"... it struck a note with me. Could it be that i am not looking at this issue as an "act of servitude," rather than seeing my own selfishlikes/dislikes? Something i need to think about there.
baby_girl

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

Honey, all I can tell you is what my opinion is. I won't own any girl who doesn't enjoy "oral servitude" and the occasional throat rape. Period.

That doesn't mean that you aren't a fine girl for someone else, but just not me.

Well, thank You for your opinion Master Sensei...... much appreciated. It all sounds good on paper (oral servitude and throat rape), i just want to enjoy it and make it enjoyable for Him as well.
Thanks
baby_girl

 

[graceanne]

Graceanne.... it would be so much easier if He told me too, instead of waiting on me to do it willingly. And while i do it as an act of service, i know that He knows that i don't like it...... and for that i feel REALLY guilty.

Ah. Well, as far as I'm concerned, everyone's different. Yes, it would be nice if I like to give blow jobs, but I don't. I can spend the rest of eternity fighting who I am, or accept it. You need to learn to accept who you are, and then start voluntarily giving him blow jobs, JUST FOR HIM. I personally think that it's a sign of love that you're willing to do something you don't like, just cause he likes it.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

You need to learn to accept who you are, and then start voluntarily giving him blow jobs, JUST FOR HIM. I personally think that it's a sign of love that you're willing to do something you don't like, just cause he likes it.

And i do love Him dearly. i try to do it willingly...... i really do, and i try to do it as well as i can, and to His liking. (basically meaning i swallow the whole damn thing). Mentally, i have some serious barriers to climb over.
Your input is much appreciated. Thanks

 

[Master Sensei]

And of course I'm sure you've made it abundantly clear in a passive aggressive way that you don't like doing it.

Here's a hint honey, many men won't enjoy it unless you like giving it.

So, if you truly love him, and want him to be happy, convince him that you can't wait to do some sword swallowing.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

And of course I'm sure you've made it abundantly clear in a passive aggressive way that you don't like doing it.

Here's a hint honey, many men won't enjoy it unless you like giving it.

So, if you truly love him, and want him to be happy, convince him that you can't wait to do some sword swallowing.

That was funny Master Sensei, but well received.
Thanks

 

[shy slave]

And of course I'm sure you've made it abundantly clear in a passive aggressive way that you don't like doing it.

Here's a hint honey, many men won't enjoy it unless you like giving it.

So, if you truly love him, and want him to be happy, convince him that you can't wait to do some sword swallowing.

Its difficult to convince someone of something that is not true if they know you well, and there is a mutual love as well as lust between you both.

To me, personally, thats close to 'lying by omission' and there are usually consequences to any form of lies.

*shrug*

 

[Master Sensei]

Its difficult to convince someone of something that is not true if they know you well, and there is a mutual love as well as lust between you both.

To me, personally, thats close to 'lying by omission' and there are usually consequences to any form of lies.

*shrug*

We'll have to agree to disagree. However, I'm a big fan of the 12 step idea of "Fake it before you make it." If you act like the person you want to be, you will eventually become that person.

 

[graceanne]

We'll have to agree to disagree. However, I'm a big fan of the 12 step idea of "Fake it before you make it." If you act like the person you want to be, you will eventually become that person.

I'm throwing my boat in with shy. You are who you are. You like what you like. Period. Faking it just makes you a fake.

 

[Netzach]

Forcing someone to like something is like making someone fall in love with you.

You may get acceptable results but you will never be thrilled with the outcome.

Getting blown by someone who loves it is indeed hot. Getting blown by someone who's only doing it to please you is hot too for totally different reasons.

 

[Epona's Chylde]

It would seem to me that if you truly love someone, and you truly enjoy pleasing them, then even the most vile of acts would seem enjoyable on some level if it was making that person happy.

You may not enjoy the act of oral, but perhaps you can look at it from the angle of enjoying the fact that you are making him happy (and that's what it's all about, right?)

In this sort of lifestyle, we (subs/slave) are expected to sometimes do things that we may not find overly enjoyable on a personal level. However, we should take a certain joy in doing those things just by virtue of the fact that we are making our Master happy (regardless of what the particular act is.)

Its easy to perform activities that we enjoy. Thats not much of a "gift" to him. We prove our love/loyalty/devotion most when we perform with gusto acts that he knows we don't necessarily care for. It lets him know that we would do these things just because of the way we feel about him, and that, to me, seems like a very special thing to offer a man.

I do believe you can "learn to love" something. You get addicted to seeing the look of happiness on your partner's face and that makes it all worth it.

That being said, have you tried analyzing why you don't enjoy oral? Is there a certain connotation that you associate with it that makes it unenjoyable? Is it physically uncomfortable for you? If you can figure out why you don't like it, that might go a long ways towards fixing the problem.

Try seeing the other side of things..How would you feel if he said, "Ok, I'm going to go down on you but I don't enjoy it!" Wouldn't that hurt your feelings?

Next time you're doing it, try to concentrate on the positive...relish the soft feel of his skin down there, the salty taste of it...listen to the little sounds he makes when you're doing well and think to yourself how wonderful it is to be able to bring him that happiness...notice the little muscle spasms he has when he's orgasming and revel in the fact that you are able to do this wonderful thing to him. When he cums in your mouth, accept it and think of it as gift...He could give it to anybody but he makes a choice to give it to YOU.

That's the best advice I can give you.

Best of luck

 

[Chicklet]

I'd say that to get in less trouble you need to a) get over the idea that you should enjoy everything you two do. So you don't like it? Condisder it an act of service. Something you do FOR him. b) Enjoy the DOMINATION of the act. I don't enjoy giving head, but I can get a little enjoyement when he tells me to.

While I don't necessarily have the same dislikes of giving head as you do, Turks, I definitely get the pleasure I feel out of it from the second point graceanne makes here. Especially with the deepthroat.

I think you and your partner should really discuss your dislike of this. If he still wants you to do it, maybe he'll let you ease into it more slowly, try to get rid of your dislike... you may not ever *enjoy* the act in itself, but if it's something you're getting absolutely no enjoyment over at all then I don't think that it's something that should be going on.

If you dislike this so much, though, you really need to tell your man how you feel... don't harbor a secret resentment of this act, 'cause it'll make you dislike him, in time, and lead to badness ><

that's my opinion.