Destiny, South Dakota

[chris2c4u]

Doug Stevens drove his pick up into Destiny, South Dakota, parking on Main Street. He got out and waved at the two older men sat outside the pharmacy hunched over a chess board. Zac peered at him with rheumy eyes and gave a wave back before turning his attentions back to the game.

Doug took his time heading down to the hardware store of his home town. He stretched his long legs as he pulled his well muscled young farmer's physique from behind the wheel. It was good to get away from the farm for a while. He enjoyed his ranch but this was a busy time, often away in the fields over night, planting to oversee and the bills to pay.

The hardware store had a smell of its own that hadn't changed since his dad had brought him there when he was young. Linseed oil, wood, charcoal, all battled for attention. He nodded to Colin, the gangly son of the owner Doug still remembered from his childhood. It was good a family business was being passed on. A cloud flitted across his mind as it often did at times like this and he wondered if he and Karen would ever have children, be able to keep the ranch in the family for a fourth generation.

"Hi Col, how's it going? I've called for those chains I ordered, your Dad phoned earlier to say they were in."

The young man headed into the storeroom and Doug eventually helped him with them to the pick up and paid his account. He decided to stay and get a coffee before heading back to the ranch and made his way to Mae's cafe. He grinned and waved to the buxom jovial owner who was taking another order so one of the local girls came and he ordered a coffee and studied the sway of her hips as she sashayed into the interior of the cafe while he sat on one of the chrome seats on the sidewalk.

Mae came over and hit him over his head with her order pad.

"What would Karen say if she say you ogling that young girl?" Mae grinned despite the "rebuke" and so did Doug.

"Why Mae? You want ogling too?"

"I get my share," the big woman laughed and met his keen blue eyed gaze and talk turned to if it was a good spring and the price of beans and cattle.

As his coffee was brought out he was distracted by an out of town car pulling slowly along Main Street. He frowned at the profile of the woman inside. Surely - it couldn't be?

Closed for Flurtyshus and myself; feel free to comment in PM's.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

Hollis Holbrook stepped out of her sleek charcoal Lexus and inhaled a steadying breath. She still wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do, coming back to Destiny after all this time, but as her father had once been fond of saying, “That ship had sailed.”

She caught sight of her reflection in the dark tint of her car window and was once again reminded that she was a different person. She was a stronger person there in her crème colored business suit and her platinum Jimmy Choo’s. She wasn’t the scared little girl that had run away from Destiny so long ago in her own personal trail of tears. She was a woman now. And the man that had been her reason for running, well….he was no longer alive to be afraid of.

The wind blew just then and lifted her silky raven locks into a cloud that shifted around her leanly sculpted face before settling down again just below her shoulders. Out of habit, she reached up catching a few wayward strands and twirled them a few times to comfort herself before tucking them behind her ear.

Hollis made her way around the hood of her car and stood just outside the storefront windows and felt a surge of pride well up in her chest. The floor to ceiling glass she’d ordered for the Studio/Gallery she now owned suited the place perfectly.

Lifting one well manicured hand up to a pane, she traced the beautifully scripted double ‘H’ monogram that had been delicately etched into the glass. It was just the way she’d imagined it. Just the way she’d designed it in fact and she wanted to see if the inside was just like she’d laid out as well.

She cupped her hands around her eyes and leaning close to the glass, cried out with delight. There were the light oak wood floors, polished to a high gloss and the sun lights in the ceiling casting down as much natural ambient light to the place as was possible. There were plush chairs, benches and pillows all picked by her own hand in her favorite colors of dove grey and with accents of spring green. And several of her own favorite images were boldly framed along the east wall, which was painted a grey so pale it was almost white. Anywhere there was silver or chrome it shined and anywhere there was fabric it was pleasing to the eye and to touch.

Frustrated that the realtor, Karen Stevens, had not been able to meet with her today, Hollis satisfied herself with one last look at the interior and turned to take in another landscape; that of Destiny’s Main street. She noted the changes with a pang of regret that she’d not seen them happen first hand. The tiny movie theatre now had boarded up windows, the old dollar store was now a Cut & Curl and the 5 & Dime had been replaced by a Piggly Wiggly’s Grocery Store.

There were some old standards still around however, like the Hammer & Nails, the old hardware store that had started over fifty years ago and all they supplied had been hammer and nails. And then there was Mae’s. Good ‘ol Maes, had the best grilled cheese and strawberry shake she’d ever had. Just the thought of it had brought her old craving back and she was of a mind to stroll right across the main two lanes and get her some but she knew the minute she walked through those doors, word that she was back in town would spread like wild fire and she didn’t want that. Not even her mother and brother knew she was back in town and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as she possibly could.

Taking one last covetous glance at Mae’s front door, Hollis rounded her car once again and was just lowering herself into the driver’s seat when she heard her name.

 

[chris2c4u]

"Hol? Hollis - it is you!"

Hollis knew is voice straight away - how could she not. Well it had always been a faint hope to keep her comeback secret but now -

She uncurled from the car as Doug stood awkwardly for a moment before moving closer. He almost felt he should just shake her hand, his long departed girl friend from times when they were close - so close that...but eventually he moved towards her and took her in his arms with a hug.

He stood back, a goofy grin on his face covering up his thoughts and she couldn't help smiling back.

"Been a long time," he said and she nodded. A recollection of her disappearing came to him, disrupting the dust of years that had intervened, had covered the scars of loosing her. The recollections that haunted him every day too bubbled under this strange encounter.

He turned his hands palms up, almost speechless. "You're here," he said, stating another obvious fact and she giggled. "Yes, yes I am."

"Want to - get a coffee or something?" he asked and she bit her lip.

"I was hoping to stay incognito for a day or two, while I set up," she nodded towards the shop front and he looked around and smiled at the monogram. He had been so busy he hadn't been able to get into town. Karen had occasionally mentioned there was a new business starting up but he was often tired when they chatted and he hadn't really taken it in. Karen had been a newcomer to the town herself and Doug had never really told her about Hollis - it was something he didn't want to rake up, something that could have easily come between him and his wife if he'd scratched the scars of losing Hollis. And the baby. His head swirled with memories, hopes, fears - nad now- he would have to tell Karen.

Doug nodded and shuffled his boots in the dust before blurting out, "I guess you know my wife," he looked at the realtor's board still on the property. "Karen?"

Hollis nodded slowly, trying to extend the small talk, to avoid the deep subjects she knew, by coming back, they would have to explore.

She said, quickly, "yes. Karen - congratulations - how long?"

He frowned.

"Have you been married?" She finished the sentence for him.

"Three years - this August," he said with a nod, the conversation now a game to avoid the real questions hanging in the air between them.


"Look - I should be getting back - I'm on the ranch now. Pa died - left it to me." He didn't add the memory of how they had talked and talked about their life in Destiny when they were in high school and their hopes and dreams - joint hopes and dreams that saw them, one day on the farm together. With their family.

He cleared his throat. More avoiding the subject. "We need to catch up some time when you're set up." Catch up. The two words held so much.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

There was an awkward pause and when Hollis didn’t volunteer any response, Doug blurted out a question to fill the silence. He never had been good with silences.

“So what’s this about?” He gestured to the etched glass. “What’s the new business?”

“Ohhh.” She sighed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go there with him right now. In fact she was sure she didn’t want to but if she didn’t tell him he’d find out soon enough. So technically she wasn’t bearing her soul to the man she still loved somewhere in her heart, anymore than she was to the rest of the world. “It’s an art gallery and studio. I, uh…could finally afford to do it the way I wanted and….here I am.”

“A gallery huh?” He asked thoughtfully. “You always did love pictures.”

“Photos.” She corrected him tersely. “There’s a difference.”

Doug smiled and it was so reminiscent of the old days tears sprung to her eyes. This was an old argument for them, the artistic difference between a snapshot and a photograph. She saw a difference. He didn’t.

Hollis tilted her head back to clear the tears from her eyes and when they once again met his, she could tell by his lowered lids and shifting feet he was about to say something sentimental. She couldn’t take this. She’d met her torture quotient for one day.

“It was good seeing you again Doug.” Her hand fleetingly touched his arm and then she quickly unlocked her car doors by remote and got in.

“Hollis, wait, we need…”

Hollis heard his muffled protest but she was done battling demons for one day.

She felt guilty. She felt cornered. She felt overwhelmed by an old sense of loss that took her breath away.


Why the hell hadn’t it crossed her mind before that she might run into Doug? She chided herself.

The minute she heard his voice, she had known she was in deep shit. It was the same low gravelly timber as it had been back in high school and it had the same effect on her now as it had back then. The moment he’d said her name a knot sadness and ....vulnerability tied itself in the pit of her stomach. And even though she was now 5 miles down the road, the knot sat in her stomach threatening to make her vomit any time now.

Hollis drove the accelerator damn near through the floor boards and when she whipped down the dirt drive to the little house she rented, tears she didn’t think she had left in her to cry fell down her cheeks. By the time she put the Lexus in park she was wracked by deep sobs she didn’t think would ever end. She slumped forward, cradling the steering wheel and just let it all go.

There was a tapping at her window followed by a hesitant greeting. “Ms. Holbrook? Are you ok?”

Hollis’ head snapped up. Silhouetted by the setting sun, was a petite little blonde standing outside her car door. The bob cut and efficiently applied makeup set off warning bells. Something was very familiar about this woman.

Hollis swiped at her eyes and face and stepped out of the car putting on the brightest smile she could manage. “I’m sorry. Can I help you?”

“Well, if you are Hollis Holbrook, then I thought I’d help you.” The woman watched her curiously. “I knew I said that I couldn’t meet you at your store with the keys, but my meeting ended early so I thought I’d just drop them off. I hope that was ok.”

God was determined to punish her. She just knew it.

“Keys?” Hollis mumbled, vying for time; trying to regain her composure.

“Oh, forgive me! Where are my manners? Karen Stevens, your real estate agent.” Karen smiled brightly and stuck out her hand.

“Oh hi!” Hollis distracted herself by pulling her bags out of the trunk and making a big show of needing to go unload them.

Karen took the hint. “Well I see that you are in the middle of settling in. Here are your keys, and if you have any questions about the property feel free to call me.”

Hollis nodded unable to bring herself to look this woman in the eye, took the keys and card she offered and turned toward the house. She was almost to the door, almost home free when Karen tossed out one more comment. One more little nail in the coffin of her day.

“Oh and Hollis? I hope it’s ok to call you Hollis. When you have the gallery opening, I would love to come. My husband needs to be exposed to some of the more refined and sophisticated arts and I believe your gallery will be just the stepping stone for that.”

A wave was all she could manage before she quickly unlocked the door to the tiny little house and shut herself off from the world.

 

[chris2c4u]

As usual, he hid his feelings by working harder and longer for the rest of the day.

She was back and he - well, he stopped himself thinking about her as much as he could. Memories though, like curling strands of smoke, filtered through the firedoor his mind was already building, through into his consciousness as he saw his long time friend and farm manager Bill LaPlante of the Cheyenne River Sioux. They talked over the plans for the cattle until the sun was going down, until Bill said he'd better get home and mentioned the baby he and his wife had recently had.

Bill frowned at the cloud that seemed to cross Doug's face but didn't think to much of it. Karen had told him he was working too much and he assumed that he was tired.

After Bill left Doug went into the barn, reluctant to head into the house. He tinkered with the tractor unnecessarily until he was left in a pool of yellow light from the naked bulb and moonlight washed the scrubby grass outside. He wiped his fingers on a rag and stretched, still pushing aside any deeper thoughts about Hollis, what might have been - and of course, what was.

Slowly he headed into the house and Karen, walking through the hall in just an oversize sweater and legwarmers, looked back over her shoulder and said, "finally!" with a smile. "Dinner's keeping warm when you're ready. Lasagne."

He nodded and smiled, heading upstairs to the shower.

Slowly but surely the smoke of memories from his time with Hollis was becoming heated; the door his mind had tried to shut on them was burning away and as he stepped into the shower he remembered a time with her - not Karen - when they had made love under the water, the heat of their bodies outdoing the heat of the rivulets running down them.

He stood there for a while, letting the water grow cooler until he stepped out clean but still troubled. He dried off and dressed in some loose sweat pants and a muscle t shirt.

"Doug? You coming?"

"Yep, on my way," he said.

They had wine and salad and lasagne and more wine and they eventually sat on the couch, Karen's feet on Doug's lap as she ate some strawberries with honey and passed him one. She was pleased to see his crooked grin as she did so, as he lapped the honey on her fingers while he traced a hand up her warm, equally honey coloured thigh. She shivered pleasantly and small talked her way around to the gallery and to Hollis and Doug looked away.

"You know, we should go when it opens - she seems a nice person. Her photo's are arty, she has this web site. I think that's where she makes most of her sales and this place is a sort of business venture maybe come tax relief thing." She shrugged at her guesses why a well known photographer would want to come to Destiny in the back of beyond. Doug nodded and didn't meet her eyes. He knew if he did she would see the flames behind his gaze and he would have to tell her everything. But if not now - when? Not for the first time Doug knew what was the right thing today but his emotional introversion stopped him speaking. Not now - soon. SHe'll understand, he said to himself.

"Shall we see what's on TV?" He had himself under control enough to glance her way. "Before going to bed?" He grinned and she nodded, rubbing her heel between his legs playfully.

****

Karen was asleep after their lovemaking and Doug sat with the reading lamp at his side of the bed on when he slipped out of bed without disturbing his wife and went to the office she kept at home. It was like some violation, going through her things, private, confidential information - but there was no stopping himself.

Karen was neat, methodical, a filer. He sat on the revolving leather office chair and looked at the files on her desk.

HOLBROOK, H. He flipped it open and saw a photo of the place in town - the studio. Beneath that a picture of the house she had rented - and her phone numbers. He wrote them down on a scrap of paper and went to put them in his clean overalls for the following day. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

After an hour long bath and an equally long cry Hollis decided it was time she reached out to the one tie she had left in Destiny. Checking the wall clock she found it was only nine thirty. If she left now, she could still make it to the reservation at a decent hour.

Flipping open one of her unpacked suitcases, she dug through until she found her favorite jeans and drew them up slim supple thighs. Over that she quickly buttoned an over-sized mans shirt and slid her feet into a pair of well worn Tony Lama’s.

Locking up, she made her way down the porch steps and into her car, put on her seatbelt and pulled out onto a high way she would never forget. It was the same highway she’d driven ten years ago, her body broken and bloodied. She’d been driving then to where she was going now; her only safe haven.

Hollis glanced down at her gas gauge when she spotted the hand carved sign that whispered “White Wing Indian Reservation: 5 miles.” She could see the lights winking in homes across the flat land but they were deceptively close. Many a tourist had broken down on that old dirt road because of the sheer mileage you had to cover to get out there.

Fourty five minutes later, she pulled up to the side of a single wide trailer just below a red rock bluff. The mutt tied out front barked frantically until she stepped out of the car and it was able to catch her scent. The barks turned into low happy whines that said ‘come pet me.’

She stood in the yard just outside the porch awning closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The warm scent of roses caressed her face and it soothed her. There was a sudden squeak in the in the black hole beneath the awning a square of yellow light appeared framing a hulking silohuette of a man with his long hair blowing in the wind. No words were said.

They watched each other quietly until the silhouette lifted his arms to her.

Her heart broke in two then. “Oh Uncle!” Hollis cried out and rushed into his arms.

 

[chris2c4u]

Work was his answer, like it had been for his family. Work and don't talk about your dreams. Though this time peope noticed something was on his mind; normally, for a boss, he got on with the guys and was easy going but that day something was eating him. He didn't take it out on them but seemed to withdraw, there was no banter.

Trouble was, they were just like him - barbed wire boys, not used to talking about feelings. They let it pass, putting it down to one of those days they all had.

He sat in his truck out by one of the fields he was visiting and let the air conditioning run to fend off the growing warmth, even of the springtime and he ate his lunch alone and looked at the piece of paper he had scribbled the numbers down on. He pulled out his cell phone and dialled the home number. It was more a sort of ceremony; he knew she probably wouldn't be there not at this time. She'd more than likely be down at the gallery.

He listened to the phone keep ringing and jumped when it stopped, a lump in his throat wondering what to say. He heard her voice.

"Hi, this is Hol, sorry I'm not able to pick up, leave me a message. Thanks!"

He breathed in a deep breath and closed the phone. What would he have said if she'd been there? He looked at her cell phone number and then put the paper away and his own phone. It was crazy. Yes, he wanted to know - everything - there were lots of "whys" floating round in his head.

He watched a fly land on the windshield and said, "Why'd you leave Hol?"

Yes, he remembered walking round fields much the same as the one he sat next to talking about how she wanted to go to college, go be a photographer, go walk down the Champs Elysees, cross the Bridge of Sighs. He wished he's paid more attention in geography - or read a few more books. But she was still crazy for him...back then.

She still went to bed with him every chance she could. He grinned and bit into an apple. No - not bed - they made love everywhere they could and she didn't think he lacked imagination then. Maybe he hadn't been bothered about seeing the world, maybe he was the stay at home good boy - not like his brother, he mused. But he was the one that got the farm, not Ralph. He was out there somewhere, probably still in New York. The dark earth of the Dakotas wasn't for him and neither Doug nor his mother - even when she'd been sick last year and Doug had tried to reach him - neither of them had heard a word from him.

He shook his head. So many ghosts turning up in his mind all at once. So many ways the world could have been different suddenly raising their heads. He threw the apple core out of the window and focussed on Hol again. Hol - and his baby that she was carrying the last time he had seen her. And now? Yes, they had a lot to catch up.

He started the engine and thought of the work he had to do that afternoon. Why'd she have to come back? After all, something had made her run pretty fast. He screwed his eyes up and put the truck in gear.

Work. Work and Karen. Yes, he'd have to talk to her. Maybe tomorrow.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

“I shouldn’t have come back here.” Hollis paced the short length of the trailer.

“It was time.” Her uncle, Alexander Thundercloud, said simply in his deep halting voice.

When she’d come in her uncle had folded his tall frame down onto an old brown plaid couch that matched nothing else in the trailer and set up one of his silent vigils. He had a habit of leaving the TV on but muting it, so she could see some sitcom playing while captions for the hearing impaired ran up the screen. It was always so easy for him, the quiet and listening. It sometimes drove her crazy that he could say so much without having said a word.

Needing a distraction, Hollis paused in her pacing and looked around the trailer, noticing the cracks in the linoleum floor, the tattered carpeting, the completely worn counters and dings and dents in the furniture. Exasperated she barked, “Uncle why do you live like this?!”

Alexander Thundercloud was the Assistant Director of American Indian Studies at the University of South Dakota as well as being an associate professor for several community colleges offering traditional native arts & music classes. Hollis knew that he made good money and yet he stayed in this crap trailer that smelled like dust from the desert.

“Don’t change the subject cinkala wicinca,” Her uncle addressed her in the Lakota way for ‘little girl.’ “I live life the way I choose; simply. You on the other hand live trying to escape. Your mother should have named you Running Deer.”

Hollis spun around tears filling her eyes. “How can you say that to me?!”

The accusation of betrayal hung on her every word. “You saw what he did to me! My father tried to kill me. You saw!!”

“No question what he did was wrong.”

She began to protest but his outstretched hand stopped her.

He began again. “No question. Your father is paying for his sins against you. But when you punished him, my cinkala akicita…my little warrior, you punished us all. Those are your sins against your family. It is why you stay wounded.”

“They wounded me! They took his side and believed him over me!” Hollis could hear her voice bouncing off the close walls and the old desperation she’d felt ten years ago was coming back and she didn’t know how to let it go. She didn’t know how to let any of this go.

“Hollis. You didn’t stick around long enough to give them your side. So who else were they to believe?”

She knew he was making sense but she still had to argue a little longer. Without the anger fueling her she didn’t know what emotion would replace it or how she would react when it bubbled up. “Didn’t you tell them?”

A sad smile appeared in the middle of her uncles beautifully copper face framed by his long hair. “It wasn’t my place wicinca. It wasn’t my story to tell.”

The truth of it began to settle in the pit of her stomach like a lead weight and Hollis felt like crying but she was all cried out. She ran long caramel fingers up through her own long dark hair and stopped at the nape of her neck intertwining her hands there.

Hollis couldn’t help but feel like she was six years old again. That was when she’d met her mother’s brother for the first time and they’d been bonded ever since. And just as he used to when she was six, he patted his thigh indicating that she should take her place.

She hadn’t known it but Hollis had been waiting for that very thing since she stepped through his door. She lay down on the couch beside him, put her head on his thigh and curled into the fetal position. Just like old times he began to run one strong steady hand across her head, smoothing her hair and soothing her as nothing else had since she was a little girl.

“You came back to heal.” He explained. “To get some waste` pejuta….good medicine.”

 

[chris2c4u]

She was haunting his thoughts. He decided to engineer a trip into town the following day to call at the gallery.

When he still saw it deserted he turned to Mae, the font of all knowledge. She hadn't seen anyone near the gallery and she was keeping her eyes open to take the owner over some "welcome to town" coffee - and a chance to find out all about them before anyone else. Doug kept to himself who that owner was.

Doug looked at the facade of glass and its monogram as he sat and drank lemonade on the sidewalk outside Mae's place. His mind went back through the years to Hol's disappearance. He remembered, even though he wasn't exactly their first choice for a boyfriend for their daughter, he'd gone around to Hol's parent's place after she didn't turn up or call him for a day or two. There was no one there either. At first he figured they'd all gone away togather - but she'd not mentioned anything.

Perhaps it was her telling them about the baby; he wondered if they'd taken her to some doctor who would help her with her "problem." He'd continued to wonder back then when they would come around and have it out with his own family - who he didn't tell about what had happened. In fact he told no one, just kept it inside, as usual, gnawing at him. He had few close friends but even they didn't know what she had told him.

There was no phone call and the Holbrook's house remained empty for quite a while. There were rumours they had all gone back to the reservation - traditional medicine, a traditional birth - he didn't know why. He told his parents something about her having some family reason to disappear and wondered when they would find out exactly what that was.

Then, they came back - at least the mother and Hol's sister came back. They even passed the time of day in the street with Doug's parents - his mother had told him they did and that was how he got to know they had made up some similar excuse - family matters meant she'd had to go away.

Only once did Hollis's mother meet him alone, as he was coming out of high school.

"It's for the best, son," she said. He remembered her tight drawn lips and the parasol she held keeping off the sun. She wore dark glasses with a retro fifties style and he couldn't see her eyes.

"Where is she?" he remembered asking.

For a moment her mother said nothing then twitched her nose and said, "California."

Doug remembered standing in the street as she walked off to her car. They hadn't spoken about her again; it was like that for him back then. Shy, introverted - he wanted her but somehow couldn't do anything to make that happen. He didn't know what he felt - then as now. She was gone and so was the baby.

He met Karen when she moved to the area a couple of years later, when his father was taken ill the first time. She was a live wire, a year his senior. She'd organised amateur dramatics and tried to get him to act. She soon realised he was better with the props. Even though the leading man tried to seduce her, she slowly fell for Doug.

Doug stretched and put away his recollections and stood up, heading down Main Street with a wave to Mae. He wanted to walk to gain some privacy as he pulled out the piece of paper with the telephone numbers and dialled Hol's cell.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis awoke suddenly and for a moment was disoriented. Her dark hair tumbled wildly around her head and she blew a puff of air to move one strand out of the way so she could see. As the cloud of sleep cleared, she finally realized she was in her uncle’s trailer covered by a quilt she knew to be her grandmother’s pattern. She allowed herself to revel in the comfort of having gotten a good nights sleep, amazing as it was, but now she wanted to know what had woken her up.

She listened hard but heard nothing so she decided to investigate, although sleep left her with little motivation to do much more than lean precariously off the edge of the couch, peering down the hallway. From that vantage point she could just see in to her uncle’s bedroom and knew he wasn’t there with the door standing wide and a crisply made bed. She was just about to get up when she heard the key turn in the trailer door. Relief washed over her and she lie back down expecting he would be bearing great gifts of a hot breakfast. Her stomach fairly growled at the idea.

Turning on her side to face the door in greeting Hollis froze when she heard the voice of a strange man command her uncle’s dog to “heel”. She didn’t recognize the voice but when the door opened there was just enough light cast on the face of the man that had her throwing the blanket over her head.

Her breathing came in quick gulps but she did her level best to pretend she was still asleep. The man halted only briefly when he saw the body lying on his uncle’s couch and proceeded on into the kitchen. By the bumps and bangs she heard, it sounded to Hollis as if he’d grabbed a bowl and was now rooting around under the kitchen sink.

What the hell was he looking for?

The minute he started to rustle in a bag, her uncles’ dog began howling outside on the porch. Ahh, dog food, she surmised. Again the man halted as he passed by her again and
Hollis held tight to her breath.

Please go away. Not now. Not yet. She prayed silently. And then realized just how big a baby she was for hiding this way. But the realization wasn’t enough to make her come out until the man had gone outside and relocked the door.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Hollis eased down onto the floor and crawled over to the little window by the front door. Easing two blinds apart, Hollis spied the man leaning over and setting a bowl of food down for the mutt and then turning toward his car. As he walked passed the Lexus, he turned briefly, taking a few steps backward, clearly admiring the car, then shaking his head in bewilderment he turned back, hopped in his pick up truck and drove away.

Those few moments had been enough to let her know a few things. A-Ten years hadn’t changed the fact that her brother was still her mirror image despite the fact that they were two years apart. And B- Jonah didn’t know she was back. She was certain if he’d had any inkling the Lexus was hers he’d have stormed back into the house and torn it apart at the very least. More likely though, he’d have kicked out her windows and dented the doors.

When the plume of dust had disappeared, signaling that he was well and truly gone, Hollis ran out to the car and left White Wing in her own cloud of dust.

When she hit the main highway, her cell signal apparently came back as it chirped to let her know she had a missed call. Scrolling through to the new calls, Hollis gasped as the name D. Stevens appeared on the L.C.D. screen.

What did Doug want? How had he gotten her private cell phone number? And how was it he could find her now? For years he’d apparently been content not knowing what happened to her….hadn’t given a crap about her and now all of a sudden he wanted to talk? After all these years he’d never once tried to find her but now he was mister super sleuth. Hollis flipped the phone shut and tossed it into the passenger seat.

As her anger came back like an old friend to fuel her, Hollis settled into the driver’s seat. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Healing was one thing. Opening old wounds was another thing entirely.

 

[chris2c4u]

Doug left Hollis a message. Then another.

The days were long and the work longer but his mind was still being gnawed at by the stories from his past and by what they would mean to him now.

He still didn't tell Karen; find out from Hol first what was happening, what had happened to their child - that would be the time to tell her. The passing of time now began to rankle with him. Surely he wasn't that repelent to her she couldn't have the courtesy to call him, to spend some time with him. She'd come back to town, damn her - if she couldn't be bothered to be civilised he wasn't going to be the one to make the first move.

He didn't have to go into town much and found it easy to avoid the situation having made his decision to be mule headed. It wasn't until one evening when Karen said, "hey, guess what?"

He looked over and cocked an eyebrow in question.

"That gallery we talked about is opening - she's a photographer, you remember?"

He nodded slowly wondering what she was going to say.

"I went over to see how they were getting on," Karen went on blithely. "She seemed a bit nervous - probably busy with the new place but I did get a ticket to the opening show. I got an extra one too," she smiled at him.

He nodded, asking when it was and being told in a couple of days time.

"You know I'm not big on arty stuff," Doug said trying to prevaracate as usual.

"You'll enjoy it, besides..." Karen walked over and playfuly poked him in the chest, "I've a surprise for you, mister."

He flinched more at the words even though she was grinning in an unconcerned manner.

"Yes?" he asked, not trusting more words wouldn't better display his nervousness.

"She came from round here - you probably knew her. Hollis Holbrook."

He nodded trying to form his face into a blank look. Somewhere words tried to push him to use this opportunity to tell his wife everything he knew about Hollis.

"Yes. We were in high school together. Went out a few times. Her family went away." All the sentences were true; it was what had been cut away by his frightened mind that lay in invisible tatters around them both. Oh yes and by the way she was having our baby. He kept seeing Hol's mother's face on the street when they had spoken after she'd come back. "It's for the best."

"You can reminisce about the good old days, uh," Karen said.

Doug cleared his throat. "Did - did she say why she'd come back?"

Karen shrugged. "Not really. Maybe she missed the old place."

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

Hollis knew it wouldn’t be long now before everyone in Destiny knew she was back. Because she’d been operating largely under the cover of night getting the gallery ready, Hollis had managed not to have much interaction with the people in town. The late hours hadn’t bothered her a bit. In fact, it was very much her usual routine to work at night unless she had a specific job to do during the day. But her hours had proven to be of great consternation to an eager young reporter who’d been chasing her for nearly a week wanting a “scoop.” When she’d found him asleep on the front steps of the gallery one evening, she’d finally agreed to give him an exclusive interview after the gallery opening on the condition that he not breathe a word about her in the paper until then. He’d agreed with such freckle faced innocence and exuberance that she almost felt bad making him wait.

In truth though, that was only three days from today and the mere thought had been making her alternately queasy and excited for several days now. She opted to focus on the excitement just now because she’d finally completed installation on one of her most favorite series of photos. Along a ribbon of gray paint at eye level on the east wall, there were twenty three free floating glass frames and in each of them was a different man photographed in a unique manner with an infant or toddler. The key to the series were the expressions on the men’s faces. They were all in a state of upset.

Several men had been brought to tears during their sessions with their children and it was then that Hollis had captured their truest essence in that frame of mind. Her very favorite was a tight shot of a little boy after having placed a kiss on his father’s forehead gazing up at him forlornly, his big eyes shimmering with unshed empathetic tears, his tiny hand resting on his fathers cheek as a tear slid down his father’s face. Three-year-old Toby Grace hadn’t understood why his daddy had been crying but he had known what comfort had meant. Hollis smiled sadly at the memory and emotion that had welled up in her heart. It was some of those same emotions that had led her to name the series “The Agony of Longing.”

Hollis stood awhile longer gazing at the images, feeling her emotions stir, lift and settle again. It was in that moment she decided to call the true inspiration for the series. Walking the three feet to one of the benches where she’d tossed her things, she dug until she found her cell phone and sat down on the bench. One deep breath fortified her and she scanned through the numbers until she found the most recent call he’d made to her phone. Hollis pressed the button that would dial his number from the caller i.d. and waited.

Three rings later and his voice mail came on. “Hey it’s Doug you’ve reached. If it’s not me you wanted then you dialed the wrong number. If it IS me you wanted…and who doesn’t?....then leave a message after the beep.”

The beep sounded and for a moment she floundered about what to say. “I..uh…I’m sorry Dougie I just realized its like 3 a.m. No wonder you didn’t answer. I mean…shit…what the hell am I doing?… Sorry. Bye.”

Hollis closed her eyes and just shook her head at herself. Calling him had been a stupid thing to do. All it would end up doing was encouraging him and that certainly hadn't been her intention. Dragging a hand through her hair and grabbing up her stuff, Hollis decided it had been a long night and tomorrow she had to go talk with the caterer...it was time to call it a night. Tomorrow was going to be a long long day.

 

[chris2c4u]

"I wear a tie to visit the bank, not to go look at pictures."

Karen sighed and gave up trying and muttered something about mules as he pulled on the pale blue tee shirt. "Hey, I'm at least wearing the jacket," he said pulling on the cream linen as he spoke.

"Now, you," he said as he helped her zip up her black dress, "look good enough to..." he bent and nuzzled her neck. She wriggled away.

"Later," she said, "I don't want anything smudged!" She checked her lipstick in the mirror.

****

They walked in the late evening sun to the gallery and Karen began to meet and greet the great and the good of the county. She'd always been more for the social scene; if it wasn't for her Doug would have few friends outside the farm business and his occasional nights at the bar.

A soft music played and the finger food was good; even the caterer's wine was passable, Karen joked with the mayor's wife. She looked around for Doug but didn't see him. In a way she was pleased he had gone off and presumably found someone to talk to.

He had gone off but as yet he hadn't found the person he wanted to talk to. He'd listened to her early morning message a couple of times but decided not to try and get her on the phone when he knew that he'd be seeing her soon.

As he wandered he suddenly realised that there were, in fact, pictures in the gallery. He ate one of the small delicate sandwiches nd started to look at one of the images. Two black men - one obviously older, stouter, greyer but both in basketball shirts. The young man held the basketball casually under his arm and had a big grin on his face, his other arm around the shoulders of the older man. Doug smiled and looked around for a programme.

The Agony of Longing. He looked up and down the pictures on the wall, looking simplistically for something that told him where to start looking. He didn't find it so he wandered around. Father and daughter, the baby still smeared just after her birth. Children playing on a street, with trees and a man reading a newspaper.

The girl was about ten he supposed. She was seen from the back, giving her father a hug. Doug swallowed and moved on to the next image, hearing complimentary things being murmured and "ahhhs" and "Oohhhs" as he moved on. The small child on the steps of a school, just letting gp of his father's hand. Doug bit his lip and wiped his eye. He looked around for the rest rooms and made it in before he sobbed silently to himself, pulling out tissue from the stalls to dab his eyes before splashig his face with water and drying it.

He ventured out again and the first person he saw was Hollis Holbrook who was in conversatio with a small older woman.

"Do you do weddings? Sara s looking for someone, you know."

Doug stood until the conversation ended, the older woman taking a card from Hol. He walked forward.

"Hi Hol." She looked around quickly at his familiar voice. He wanted to ask if his child was there, with the person she thought of as her father.

He inclined his head to the pictures. "Do you have a favourite?"

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

When Hollis stepped through the doors of “Heavenly Hosts” wonderful smells instantly assailed her; a good sign for sure. You never could tell about small town bakeries and caterers. However, if the aroma’s coming from the kitchen were any indication then “Heavenly Hosts” looked…or rather smelled quite promising.

The display cases were even more proof that Hollis was in the right place. She could tell. Hundreds of little chocolates, pastries, pies and cakes were freshly laid out in well lit, refrigerated shelves behind pristine glass. The coconut crème and raspberry parfaits had her mouth watering. She decided on the spot that some of those would be coming home with her that very evening.

Her decision firmly made Hollis looked around for an employee but found no one. She did however see a sign that said, “Ring Bell for Service”. So Hollis promptly rang the bell. There was some shuffling from the back and the sound of metal sliding against metal before a young brown skinned girl, clearly Native American upon closer inspection, came rushing around the corner, her hair tied back in a wayward pony tail, her white apron askew.

“I’m so sorry!” The girl brushed herself off and flour poofed off her in great clouds. “I couldn’t hear the front…”

The girl abruptly clamped her mouth shut when she looked Hollis in the face and like a fish she opened and closed her lips, formed in a little ‘O’ several more times.

“What’s the matter?” Hollis asked, alarm easing into her chest. The last thing she needed was this girl having a stroke or some other dramatic incident right now.

“You look….I’m sorry it’s just that for a minute you were almost Jonah.” The girl stammered.

Hollis stopped breathing. “Jonah?”

“My boyfriend. But clearly you aren’t him. You’re a girl. Yea? And your hair is shorter…and he doesn’t have boobs but why would he, right?” The girl giggled in a nervous burst of sound and then she clamped a hand over her mouth.

Hollis lowered her eyes to the girls name tag. It read, “Naomi” in big girlish loops. This girl was Jonah’s girlfriend?

Hollis decided her best tactic was to ignore her, get her order in and get the hell out of there. She didn’t want Naomi of the big girlish loops scrutinizing her any further. “Naomi, how would I go about getting an event catered?”

Naomi perked up and the confusion finally melted away from her round features. “That’s easy. You take this menu and this checklist and mark the things you need and when you need them by and give it back to me. Easy, yea?”

Hollis politely thanked her, sat down at a table and quickly went through the catering menu. After choosing approximately seven items, she filled out the name, address and phone number section and took the form back to Naomi who was eagerly fidgeting behind the counter.

Naomi scanned the form. “Oh Great! Pauline will be happy to have a catering job so soon. We just opened last month. This is so cool! I’ll finally get to wear my girly tux to help with the catering. Pauline said I’d get to walk around with a tray with real champagne and everything. Business has been kind of slow so she’ll be excited about a Gallery opening. You’re the new artist, yea?”

“Yea. If Pauline has any questions, have her call me, yea?” Hollis heard herself and then winced at the old pattern of speech she recognized in Naomi from her childhood.

“Sure.” Naomi smiled and went back to reading the completed form.

Hollis knew it was time to leave and walked quickly toward the door. Naomi seemed to know her brother and also had a mouth that said too much. Hollis didn’t want her playing “guess who came in the store today” with Jonah or her mother before she had the chance to prepare herself. She was almost home free when she heard a startled gasp.

“Hey! Wait! You’re last name is Holbrook? That’s my boyfriend’s last name!”

Hollis waved as if she hadn’t heard the girl and ran across the street. “Shit! Shit! And double shit!”

Burying her face in her hands, Hollis took a deep breath and gave in to the fact that the end was nigh.

 

[chris2c4u]

Hol smiled at him but Doug couldn't tell what it meant; she distractedly looked over to the pictures and seemed pleased when another person walked over to her and began discussing the photographs.

Doug sighed and moved a little further away, catching sight of Karen walking over. Hollis looked nervously over at Doug and his wife and continued talking to the man who was asking technical questions about how she had taken the images.

"So, how'd you like it?" Karen said linking her arm through his.

He nodded and turned away towards the wall and looked again at the moving scenes Hol had caught.

"They're good. She was always good."

"Have you had a chance to say hi yet?" Karen asked, leafing through her catalogue.

"No. No, not really."

She smiled at him and they walked down the side of the gallery discussing the images; Karen was pleased he seemed happy to talk about them; normally he was a "I don't know much about art but I know what I like," man.

Thre was a ripple of movement by the door and the clatter of one of the trays of food being knocked over. They both looked at the source of the disruption. He drew in a deep breath. Hollis' mother looked older, gaunter than she had. Her eyes scanned the crowd, presumably for her daughter and alighted on him and stayed there for a few seconds before she moved further into the room. Behind her, Hol's brother looked brooding and menacing, showing no interest in anyone around him.

Outside, another car pulled up and another native American stepped out. Doug had forgotten his name but knew he worked at the university nearby but still lived in an old trailer in the middle of nowhere. He, too, headed for the door.

 

[Flurtayshus]

Hollis Holbrook

Hollis heard the tray crash to the floor and her head whipped around. Her eyes fell on Naomi who was now crouching on the floor attempting to clean up the mess she’d made. Normally, she would have felt nothing more than mere irritation at a dropped tray but something in Naomi’s face, and the way her eyes kept flicking to something that Hollis couldn’t see sent an immense feeling of dread coursing through her.

Propelled by more than curiosity, her eyes scanned the throng of attendees and landed on a silhouette of three; two powerful males flanking one petite form. The mere site of her mother and brother standing in such close proximity set off a panic attack.

Hollis had the presence of mind to excuse herself politely, even if a bit shakily, from the women she’s been speaking with and took three steps backward toward the hallway leading to her office. Just as she was about to make her escape, she felt a hand splay across her back. The touch was familiar, kind but firm in its intention, which was plain that it wouldn’t let her retreat any further.

Her panicked eyes rose and found Douglas standing silently at her side. Confused, she made a move to side step out of his grasp but his hand slid around to her hip and held her firmly to his side.

“Suck it up Hol,” he whispered underneath his breath. “You can’t make a scene in front of all these people. This is your opening and this is your doing. Now make the best of it.”

Hollis eyed him for the long moment that it took her family to make their way across the room and decided that Douglas was enjoying this. She knew somewhere inside him he thought she deserved this and now here he was making sure he was front and center to witness the whole thing go down.

Before she could summon the anger he deserved, her Uncle was there in front of her, cupping her face and waiting until her eyes met his.

“Cinkala wicinca.” He murmured the endearment, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “You’ve done well.”

Tears stung her eyes and then he was gone replaced by her brother. Tall, grown up Jonah. The look on his face said he wanted to slap her and that it was taking every bit of will power he had not to and when he grabbed her upper arms and jerked her forward, she thought he’d decided shaking her to death was a better option.

“You-left-me.” Jonah leaned down until his silky curtain of hair slipped down off of his shoulders and shielded both their faces and when he spoke it was through clenched teeth. “What-kind-of-sister-leaves-her-brother?”

Hollis hadn’t known what she’d expected but it certainly wasn’t the deep hurt she heard now. As if they were operating of their own accord, Hollis watched her hands lift and cup Jonah’s face. He growled low in his throat as if he didn’t want her to do it but then his head bowed until his forehead rested on hers.

“Ohhh, nisunka.” Hollis whispered the Lakota term for little brother and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Nothing had felt as good as holding her baby brother in her arms, in a long time. His body heaved as if he might sob and Hollis held him tighter.

A tear slipped down his cheek and suddenly his hands came up, ripped her arms away from his neck and he stormed away from her through the crowd.

“Jonah!” Hollis cried and made to follow him but her mother appeared in her path.

The slap her mother delivered her took her breath away and caused the crowd to gasp collectively. “He cusni ye!!”

When she could talk again, Hollis shouted, “Don’t do what mother?! What?! Toka he?”

“Tokiya yaunhan hwo?!” Her mother screamed at her as her Uncle Alexander wrapped his big arms around her to restrain her from hitting her again.

Hollis went very still. “It’s not like you care where I’ve been mother. If you had, you’d have come looking.”

 

[chris2c4u]

People began to drift away from the opening quickly after the family arrived. Doug rejoined Karen and they both made bemused faces at one another and Karen said in a low voice, "I think the place might be on the market again pretty quick."

Doug nodded as he watched the obviously heated though vocally muted exchange that was going on between Hollis and her mother before he and Karen headed out to the street.

****

Doug waited a couple of days before he went into town. The gallery was still open. This surprised him and he stopped the car to have a look inside. Hollis sat behind the desk on the phone and she was smiling. He caught a few words; "you know how families are. Yes. So, I can come around now?"

She looked up and caught his eye, a small smile as she said goodbye on the phone.

"Still in business then," said Doug.

"Still in business. And business as usual with the family," she said with a sigh and a shake of the head as if trying to dismiss it. Doug wanted to know what was going on but he bit back the questions for another time, instead asking if that was a business call.

She nodded enthusiastically looking at the note she had scribbled to herself. "Adam Langham?"

Doug nodded his head and explained how Adam and he shot some pool occasionally and he worked for the electric company as a lineman.

"Great! You busy?"

Doug frowned a question back at her.

"Want to come along - might help break the ice if he sees I already have acquainances in town. Plus you can drive - you know where he lives?"

"Sure."

"He wants some pictures of his family plus the house," she said, pulling out an already full equipment bag. "I'll go check out the place, I said."

Doug smiled and led the way out to his pick up. As they drove, Doug glanced over at Hol as she soaked up the atmosphere, her designer sunglasses refelcting the light back out into the summer heat. He also noticed her legs; as long and shapely as they ever were. He blinked and tried to keep his eyes on the road.