desperately seeking feedback

[freaky.tales]

i'm a new writer on literotica, but been reading the stories for at least a year now. i'm looking for some feedback on my first story, which is in two parts. any feedback is welcome. here's the links to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=28140
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=29238


thank you,

Freaky Tales