Desert Island Books

[NoJo]

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Desert Island Discs is a long running BBC Radio 4 programme. It was first broadcast on January 29th 1942 and is said by the Guinness Book of Records to be the longest running music programme in the history of radio. Guests are asked to choose the eight pieces of music they would take with them to a desert island, discussion of their choices permitting a review of their life. They also choose one book (excluding the Bible and the works of Shakespeare which are already deemed present on the island) and one luxury item which must be inanimate and have no practical use.


So, which book would you take?

And which luxury item? (a dildo is already deemed to be present on the island)

 

[ChilledVodka III]

Wanker

 

[NoJo]

Never read it.

 

[carsonshepherd]

So, which book would you take?

And which luxury item? (a dildo is already deemed to be present on the island)

If I have a dildo, I probably won't need any books.

 

[NoJo]

Yes, but how long can you read "not to be used internally" for, before going out of your mind with boredom?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Yes, but how long can you read "not to be used internally" for, before going out of your mind with boredom?

Ah! But you forgot, "Do not use on any unexplained leg pain. Consult a doctor."

 

[Liar]

So, which book would you take?

Anything with the right size/weight ratio to effectlively swat mosquitos.

 

[TheEarl]

I'd take Shogun, cause I can just turn that book over and start from page 1 again. Love that book.

As for an object... can't I take another book as my object? Okay then, my object would be Elsie. Simply because she's good company.

The Earl

 

[Liar]

As for an object... can't I take another book as my object? Okay then, my object would be Elsie. Simply because she's good company.

Does she qualify as:
...and one luxury item which must be inanimate and have no practical use.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Probably my complete works of Oscar Wilde. That or Swift. If it had to be a single book, I'd lean toward "A Rebours" or "Gulliver's Travels."


(Those going for sheer quantity might try the collected letters of Voltaire, which runs to 20-some volumes. )

My luxury item: if the "no practical items" rule only means survival or escape gear, I'd take a solar-powered word processor (that someone invents for me) or a very large quantity of blank paper and pens. If I can't have those, I guess a kite. It would give me something to do.

Although you didn't ask, my music would be:

Berlioz's "Symphonie Fantastique"
Beethoven's 9th
Smetana's "The Moldau"
Mozart's "Marriage of Figaro" overture
Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyrie"
The Pogues' "South Australia" (because it's damned good to work to)
The Dropkick Murphys' "Skinhead on the MBTA"
The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK"
Black 47's "Funky Ceili"

If one was permitted to cheat a little and pick a collection or a whole disc, I'd probably sub in the sountracks to "Sweeny Todd," "Phantom of the Opera" and "Les Miserables" for the Smetana, Wagner, and the Sex Pistols.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

If one was permitted to cheat a little and pick a collection or a whole disc, I'd probably sub in the sountracks to "Sweeny Todd," "Phantom of the Opera" and "Les Miserables" for the Smetana, Wagner, and the Sex Pistols.

Shanglan

No cheating.

 

[shereads]

If my luxury item can have no practical purpose, I'd choose a priceless work of art that some collector would do anything to locate. A painting would deteriorate, so it should be a sculpture. A large one, for maximum visibility from the collector's helicopter or yacht. I choose the Sphinx.

One book? It would have to be a book of erotica. Btw, I resent their assumption that I wouldn't prefer a variety of books to the complete works of Shakespeare. I'm a product of the South Carolina school system, and we were taught to appreciate his plays as movies. Fat lot of good his plays will do me when I'm sitting there in the shade of the Sphinx with my, uh, marital aid device and an over-read book of erotica.

 

[NoJo]

Much as I love civilization, I think on a desert island I'd want a Richard E Feynman's lectures on physics.

After all, Shakespeare and the Bible would already be there to remind me how self-important we humans are. But Feynman shows how exciting and interesting everything can be.

So. With my mind taken care of, the other item, the object would have to take care of my bodily needs:

It would probably have to be my thumb-piano. It's a half-gourd with a soundboard made of a dark, heavy wood. It has sixteen metal tines that can be tuned by pushing or pulling them along. It has a hole in the soundboard like on a guitar, and two side-holes which allow you to get a "wah-wah" effect.

Assuming that food, shelter and water, intellectual stimulation and music are now available, (but no Man Friday) I need sex:

Trawling through my memories would possibily give me a couple of years of wank, after which I suppose I could have resorted to my Shakespeare, or possibly the Bible. But unfortunately I already burned the Bible and W.S on the first day on the island, while barbecueing my first Monitor Lizard. And anyway, contrary to some people's opinion (see Overrated Authors Thread), the Song of Songs doesn't get anyone's blood up, unless they spend 99.99% of their lives illuminating palimpsests.

Feynman's book is comletely devoid of sexual content, no matter how perverse you are, except perhaps for the cute pictue of him playing the bongos in the frontispiece.

So after a couple of years I'd probably hail a passing fishing-boat of Moroccan drug-smugglers and make my way slowly back to London, by way of Seville.

 

[TheEarl]

Does she qualify as:
...and one luxury item which must be inanimate and have no practical use.

Oops. Okay, well a suitable set of ropes would make her inanimate...

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Oops. Okay, well a suitable set of ropes would make her inanimate...

The Earl

Ooh, just thought of a good actual inanimate object: a rugby ball. I can spend all day practising and when I was finally rescued I'd have the advantage of being an international quality place-kicker.

<TheEarl kicks his rugby ball. It slices off the outside of his boot and goes flying off down a cliffside and into the sea>

Oops. Best make that 2 rugby balls.

The Earl

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Hawkings A Brief history of Time

The concepts are so far beyond me that I gain something new from it with each read.

Luxury item? A scuba rig with solar powered compressor to refil my cylinders

 

[matriarch]

Hawkings A Brief history of Time

The concepts are so far beyond me that I gain something new from it with each read.

Luxury item? A scuba rig with solar powered compressor to refil my cylinders

*sigh*........and there was me thinking I could volunteer to be: ..........and one luxury item which must be inanimate and have no practical use. I think that sums me up pretty well.

 

[Guest]

Ooh, just thought of a good actual inanimate object: a rugby ball. I can spend all day practising and when I was finally rescued I'd have the advantage of being an international quality place-kicker.

<TheEarl kicks his rugby ball. It slices off the outside of his boot and goes flying off down a cliffside and into the sea>

Oops. Best make that 2 rugby balls.

The Earl

Wilson?

Ok, he was a basketball, but still, reminded me of Tom Hanks and that film which I just cannot remember the name of. Yes I have, it just came to me: Castaway.



I haven't got a clue which book I'd take, but it would have to be something with nice soft pages. I doubt there'd be loo roll there. Oh, the blasphemy!

 

[matriarch]

Wilson?

Ok, he was a basketball, but still, reminded me of Tom Hanks and that film which I just cannot remember the name of. Yes I have, it just came to me: Castaway.


I haven't got a clue which book I'd take, but it would have to be something with nice soft pages. I doubt there'd be loo roll there. Oh, the blasphemy!

Of course there would............if bears can find rolls of Charmin in the jungle.........what?? what do you mean its not real? Its on TV, therefore it has to be real and true. Doesn't it??

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Of course there would............if bears can find rolls of Charmin in the jungle.........what?? what do you mean its not real? Its on TV, therefore it has to be real and true. Doesn't it??

Only if it's on Fox news

 

[matriarch]

Only if it's on Fox news

*snort*

 

[gauchecritic]

If we can have the complete works of Shakespeare then I want the complete works of Terry Pratchett.

Inanimate object: Wormhole

 

[Elsie Grey]

You'd never be able to tie me up Earl, I know exactly where you're ticklish, remember?

I second the call for the complete works of Terry Pratchett, but if I had to chose one it would be The Hogfather (Susan Sto Helit rocks!). For an inanimate object i'd take my Mary Poppns handbag just because it's cool!

Elsie

xxx

 

[Liar]

Inanimate object: Wormhole

Good call.


I'd want a five star hotel. Is that inanimate enough?

 

[shereads]

It would probably have to be my thumb-piano. It's a half-gourd with a soundboard made of a dark, heavy wood. It has sixteen metal tines that can be tuned by pushing or pulling them along. It has a hole in the soundboard like on a guitar, and two side-holes which allow you to get a "wah-wah" effect. [/B]

Well, good lord, Joe, you could MAKE that. Even a desert island has some kind of gourd growing on it. Why not a grand piano? You've got so much time to practice, after you carve up your gourd.