Describing the sounds we make during lovemaking

[macdanife2000]

What is the best way to describe a male and/or female orgasm, or for that matter the sounds that we generally make while making love?

I've tried my best in the few postings I've done but it all seems trite and uninspired. Any help along these lines would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks all...

macdanife2000



You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain

 

[Whispersecret]

I suggest you find a few stories that you think are excellent. Then analyze how they describe the orgasms and the sounds. Make note of the words they used. See if they use simile. How much dialogue is there at that moment?

 

[Axeltheswede]

Sounds

I enjoy descriptions of sounds. Examples: "little moans from deep in his throat" "squeals, like a little girls on Christmas morning" "each breath caught in her throat"

Nothing wrong with a nice, Ahhhhhh or a Yesssss in the right place.

And I agree with Whisper. See what works in other stories.

 

[dahkme]

Agrees with ahhhhhh and the yesssssssss, not to mention, very discriptive lines.

The passion surged through her bloodstream, looking frantically for a way to escape, until it found its way to her mouth as she screamed with an animalistic moan. Hope this helps.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The Ahhh and the Yess and the Mmmm should be used sparingly at best. They are the lazy porn writer's way of getting around description. Worst of all is the NEOM. We've all seen those, the never ending orgasmic moment. Essentially it's just a series of one or two capital letters intending to indicate a shout and howl session.

Aside from the occasional Mmm or Ooh, I don't use "sound" words. To me MMmmmmmmmmm sounds like "she moaned deep in her throat."

Use words not letters and you'll be much better off because words have meaning and connotation. Letters just have noise.

 

[MaxSebastian]

I agree wholeheartedly with KM - she da ma'am.

Noises are quite difficult in erotic stories - if I were you I'd just look to try and use simile or metaphor as well as descriptive terms - never strings of letters. The whole point of reading erotic stories rather than just looking at pictures is that it is supposed to arouse by stimulating the mind. If you're going to try and stimulate your readers visually by putting in an mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm here or an aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh there, you may as well just make a picture and post it on the amateur picture forum.

 

[Axeltheswede]

Sounds

Well, whack me upside the head. I don't think I was advocating just holding down the "M" key until your finger gets tired.

Descriptions work best but throwing in an occasional Ahhh or Ohhhhh gets the message across. It makes things a little playful too. We're talking about making love here, not root canal.

While we're airing out the laundry, how about the use of sound alikes such as "Uh-huh" and "Uh-uh". Pick up any mainstream novel. You will find those used over and over.

 

[Route66Girl]

I understand!

I have a difficult time coming up with imaginative ways to describe those sounds and the feelings of ecstasy. Granted, I've only written one erotic story so far, and it's not even finished..

There's only so many times you can use the words moan, groan, sigh, whimper, gasp, scream, yell, and so on before you start to feel like you're regurgitating. The words start to lose their impact.

There's a good thread on one of these lists- I forget where (sorry folks!) in which a bunch of people listed some erotic words that may help with such descriptions. They've been trememdously helpful to me, and I saved them. (Thank you everyone!) I put them here for you along with a few of my own suggestions, some from Merriam Webster's online thesaurus, and some from another website. Sorry for any repeats!

rhythm
cadence
palpitate, pulse
throb, writhe, quaver, quiver, shake, tremble
flitter, flutter, hover
agonize, squirm
flinch, recoil, shrink, wince; contort, distort; bend, twist; thrash, tumble
jostle, nudge, prod, penetrate, dig, drive, plunge, ram, sink, stab, stick
fill, glut, gorge, ram, bucking
recoil, quintessence, expunge
velvety, tactile
slurp
nibble
waft, essence, sniff, scent
swell
tickle
undulate, enmesh, trace
sleepily, lazily
luxuriously, relish, savor
brush, slide
nudge
purr, hum
lightly, nimble, deft
frivolous, tremble
spasm, recoil, quintessence
expunge
velvety, tactile
lightly
nimble
deft
frivolous
juice, dew, milky, creamy
ooze, spill, spew, spurt, jet, wash over, ambrosia, dew
slick, slippery, wet, damp, moist
Afterglow
welt
bruise
pendulous, ache
burn, scratch
weary
fatigue
floating
sweaty
sticky
sore
stretched
tired
content
spear
gasp
cleave
erupt
unyielding
turgid
gnash
drive
impale
possess
boil
streaming
ream
Ravenously
deliciously
murmur
entwined
ensconced
smoothed
claimed
devastated
jarred
grit
raked
grappled
tore
lazily
agape
engorged
desperately
achingly
succumbed, tantalizing, undulated, surrendered, subsided, sheen, intensity, receding, titillate, rhythmic, intoxicated, essence, sought, entice, relishing, descending, lavished, eternal, flutter, exhilarating, mesmerized, envision, assuage, intrigue, wryly, ample, sultry, devouring, captivated, yearning, semblance, temptress, minx, vixen, splendor, blissfully, guttural, taut, taunting, succulent, supple, globes, gyrated, ragged, innate, savory, deft, feathery, glistened, tweak, aftermath, ardor, probe, entwine, sinewy, depths, hypnotic

ached suck, eat, lick, tongue, hood,
lingers nibble, fiercley, caress, scream,
erect, forceful, rough, yanked, bitten consume
gaping
delirium
swelled
shaft
tormenting
enveloping
upthrust
glove
shudder
glowing
sheen
peak
peaked
slather
engulf
spill/spilling
scalding
seething
searing
proud
tremor

astonishing, erupt, astounding, stunning, heavenly
explode
over the edge
into the abyss
set on fire
coursing
blood rushing
invigorating
exciting

charm, seduce, captivate, enchant, entice

irresistible
aroused
fragrance
intoxicate
oblivion
realm of ecstasy
pant, agonize, torture
ravishing, exquisite
delectable, desirous
blinding, burning
euphoric, gratify, indulge, fulfill
satitate, quench
succulent, juicy
filled, swollen
crave, tantalize, lure
gratify, sensitive, alive

and WAHOO!

 

[its Leslie]

Hmmm when I first saw the thread I thought you aaaactually meant the real sound. Silly me.

Imagined you holding a microphone next to a penis to hear the sound of sperm gushing forth (I must be in a wierd mood).

As for a text based description, I think wordiness can be as intrusive as coping out and typing a long string of Aaaaaaaaaas.

The description has to meet the needs of the moment. But remember, the woman orgasming or the man ejaculating is essentially the be all and end all normally of the story. It is often the part of the story the reader is waiting for (my opinion).

A good description is only a good description if the reader can almost see the event. If your story has the reader sitting glassy eyed waiting to re enact your story, you accomplished your goal.

 

[Guest]

BUMP

I am bumping this thread because I have gone around on this topic.

"Moaning lightly from her throat".. but what does the moaning sound like? Gasping little "ah"s or guttural "mhmhm"s? Does it matter?

 

[Guest]

sounds

This is an interesting thread. My take on the question is a bit different.

I received a feedback request that I am in the process of fulfilling in the piece I am currently writing. THe reader wanted the audible sounds of sex, that is the squeaking bed, the slurping, the wet kissing, the squishy sounds of intercourse. Of course, we can include the vocals, but my "friend" wants it all.

Actually, it's been a bit of fun since it is a new approach for me.

Just offered my view.

 

[English Lady]

i totally agree with ricochet that sex sounds can be much more than the noises and words coming from a persons mouth. the creeks, the sloshing, the slurping and all that definittely play a part and i think good stories add them to make you feel more involved in the actual story.

As for actual sounds made in the throes of sexual abandonment i find very animalistic sounds like "puurrrr! "gggrrrrrr" work pretty well but as othes have said you can't beat theodd "ooohhhh" "ahhhhh" or "yes, yes,yes" being thrown in.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I usually just write "she moaned" or "he groaned" or something like that. A long line of "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh" or "oooooooohh", or, even worse, a capitalized "YEEEEEEEAH, BABY, GIVE IT TO ME HERE I COME OOOOOHHH I'M CUMMMMMMMMMMMING!!!", just seems childish to me. It makes the story sleazy and juvenile, and my finger starts moving towards the 1-vote-button.

 

[Quasimodem]

There is always:

"Don't stop! Don't stop!
Cherry's gonna pop!"

Courtesy "Footloose."

 

[ronde]

Research is the answer

One should attack this problem with a scientific approach, i.e. listen to life. There may be conversation and there are always sounds. Sounds are particularly difficult to represent with letters without seeming trite. I like using words that connote sounds. Some examples:

Squish
Smack
Slurp
cry
groan
lap (as in lapping up)
Creak
Scratchy
grunt
squeal

In my experience, conversation during sex tends to be abbreviated and not very dramatic. Single or double words seem to suffice.

faster
slower
yes
now
right there
Oh
Oh God



There has been the occasional "What the hell are you doing?", but that rarely happens anymore.

Oh, yes, there are "mmm's", staccato "ah's", and other assorted vocalizations.

 

[Whispersecret]

I agree wholeheartedly with KM - she da ma'am.

Noises are quite difficult in erotic stories - if I were you I'd just look to try and use simile or metaphor as well as descriptive terms - never strings of letters.

This is my opinion as well. When I see strings of letters to represent a sound, I cringe. You simply cannot duplicate the actual moans and groans of sex with phonemes. I think it's far more effective writing to use real words to describe the sounds and let the reader's imagination fill in the rest.

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh...!"

Or

A few more frantic thrusts, and he came, roaring in triumph. Victoria shuddered as the desperate, drawn out sound of his climax sent her over the top again. Each spasm of his cock inside her seemed to ride on the rough noises coming from his throat. Her pleasure pulsed in rhythm with his, and the throbbing of her satisfied pussy echoed his diminishing moans.

God help her if she ever went deaf.

 

[SlickTony]

A long line of "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh" or "oooooooohh", or, even worse, a capitalized "YEEEEEEEAH, BABY, GIVE IT TO ME HERE I COME OOOOOHHH I'M CUMMMMMMMMMMMING!!!",

That is so true. I hate encountering that sort of thing, especially when it crops up in an otherwise all-right story--at the very least, I'll deduct a point.

 

[horny_giraffe]

Some samples of my own description, from my favorite of my stories, "Seducing Jen."



"Uhhhh … " Jen moaned.

the suction of her vagina made a loud, rhythmic squelching noise as her pussy lips distended

"Fuck." She grunted.

Her pussy lips began slapping loudly around the base of my cock like a bear lapping up water.

I exhaled sharply--a grunt, really--

"godohgodohgod.”

“FUCK YEAH!” Jen screamed.

“Shiiiiiiit …” The strangled moan forced itself through my throat

my penis finally softened enough to come out with a soft, squishy, pop.

It's funny how the sounds practically tell the story by itself. It would be an interesting idea to write a story about a "voyeur" who is only listening via a microphone.

 

[littlebill]

It's Leslie, Ricochet and English Lady understand the real challenge - conveying the sounds of an erect prick in a tight but lubricated pussy (or arse). 'Slurp' and 'squish' lack precision, and similes such as 'like a piston in a well-oiled cylinder' are a bit too industrial.

Perhaps the answer is in more imaginative phrasing - 'the sound of a sharp, shallow intake of breath came simultaneously from her lips and her pussy'? No, that doesn't get it either.

Listen carefully next time and tell me exactly what you hear. Not the words you use but the sounds you hear.

horny-giraffe's efforts are promising

 

[Madame Manga]

It's funny how the sounds practically tell the story by itself. It would be an interesting idea to write a story about a "voyeur" who is only listening via a microphone.

Hey, I wrote something like that an age ago, if memory serves! Let me go find it, and when it's up y'all can tell me if it fills the bill...

MM

Edit--I added it to the message; it's short!

Back Rub

A Star Trek:Voyager story I wrote a very long time ago. Nothing but good clean fun, with sound effects. The [….] indicates a brief silence.

[breepp-boopp]
“Come in.”
“Captain—the sensor diagnostics reports.”
“Thank you, Commander. Put them on the desk—I’ll get to them later.”
[clack]
“Captain, you’ve been working nine hours straight. You’ll get eyestrain.”
“I’ve already got eyestrain.”
“I can tell—you’re hunching your shoulders. Turn that monitor off and look
out the viewport for a while.”
“Oh, all right.”
[click]
“Sit on the sofa to rest your back.”
“I’d have to lie on the sofa to rest my back...what are you smiling
about?”
“Go ahead. It’s your ready room.”
“Commander, I don’t know what to make of that grin.”
“Whatever you like, Captain.”
“Hmmm...”
[rustle]
[thump]
“There, I’m sitting down.”
“I thought you were going to lie down.”
“Was I?”
“You look as if you’d like to. I’ll leave if you prefer.”
“No—stay and talk to me for a minute.”
[rustle, thump, settle]
[. . . .]
“You’re smiling again.”
“I feel like smiling. What would you like to talk about, Captain?”
“My aching back.”
“You don’t talk about aching backs, Captain. You do something about them.”
“I don’t feel like getting up to go to Sickbay.”
“No need.”
“Hmmm?”
“Roll over on your stomach, and I’ll show you.”
“Commander?”
“It’s a traditional method.”
“Traditional method of what?”
“Oh, it’s useful for many things. Roll over.”
“You’re smiling again, Commander.”
“I like to smile. Don’t you like it when people smile?”
“Of course I do. I like it very much...”
[. . . .]
“So are you going to roll over?”
“Oh, I suppose so. My back does ache.”
[rustle]
“Put your arms above your head—that’s good—now relax, and close your
eyes.”
[stroke]
“Ohh...mmm.”
“Tell me if I’m doing it too hard.”
“No, that’s fine. Perfect...mmm. Traditional method?”
“Time-honored.”
[. . . .]
“My God, that’s great. What a pair of hands you have.”
“Thank you, Captain. I’ve been told that.”
“Lower...ooh, there. Can you do that harder?”
“Hmmm...that’s quite a knot you have there. Hard enough?”
“Almost.”
“I’ll stand up and lean down—“
“Oh god, yes, that’s great. Mmmm...why are you stopping?”
“It’s a little awkward. I wish I had a proper platform for this—I have to
bend to the side too much.”
“Oh dear. What if you...um, if you got on the sofa?”
“On the sofa?”
“Yes, um, if you knelt over me, you could reach and push down harder.”
[. . . .]
“Commander?”
“Yes, I suppose I could at that.”
“Well, go ahead.”
“If you’re sure about this, Captain.”
“I’m sure my back aches.”
“All right. Now, I’m not certified or anything, so I can’t be responsible
for...unexpected outcomes.”
“Fine, fine. Go ahead.”
[rustle, thump]
[stroke]
“Goddd...”
“Is that the right spot, Captain?”
“Yesss...”
[stroke, knead]
“There... that knot’s coming out nicely. Ah, I’m not too heavy, am I?”
“You feel wonderful. Ah, that is, no, you’re not too heavy.”
“Ah.”
[stroke, knead]
“Can you get around the sides more?”
“Anywhere you like, Captain.”
“Anywhere?”
“Um...well, within reason.”
[wriggle]
“Uh...Captain?”
“You’re not smiling.”
“I’m a little beyond smiling.”
“I could feel that a while ago.”
“Sorry—ah, I think I had better get off the sofa.”
“What’s the rush, Commander?”
“Um, I can’t rub your back if you’re facing upwards.”
“My back’s fine now. Are you uncomfortable where you are?”
[. . . .]
“Not really, Captain. Are you uncomfortable where you are?”
“Not really.”
[. . . .]
“So...can I make you any more comfortable, Captain?”
“You could lean over a little more.”
“How far?”
“I’ll tell you when to stop.”
[. . . .]
“Ah...that’s about as far as I can go, Captain.”
“You could go a little farther.”
“In theory.”
“Of course, it’s up to you.”
“Oh, well, if it’s up to me...”
[kiss]
[kiss]
“I’m not too heavy, am I?”
“You feel wonderful. “
[kiss]
“I always wondered what that short hair felt like.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Um...did you wonder what anything else felt like?”
“Yes.”
“Ah...”
“Get up on your elbows, Commander.”
“Sure.”
[ziiiiip]
[wriggle]
“Just a second, my boots...”
[rustle]
[thump]
[thump]
“Here, let me help you with that, Captain.”
[ziiiiip]
[wriggle]
[kiss]
[rustle]
“Mmm.”
[kiss]
[stroke]
“My, it feels even better this way.”
“Glad to hear it.”
[kiss]
[slide]
[kiss]
[slide]
[kiss]
[slide]
“Bend your knees, Captain.”
“With pleasure, Commander.”
[. . . .]
“Oh, my.”
“Hmmm?”
“Oooh...don’t try to talk.”
“Hmmhmm.”
“Oooh...”
[. . . .]
[gasp]
[gasp]
[gasp]
[gaaasssp]
[slide]
[kiss]
“Hmm?”
“Mmmmmm. Your turn.”
“Fine with me.”
“Top or bottom?”
“Captain’s preference.”
“Lie down.”
[rustle]
[wriggle]
[thump]
[groan]
“Gods...”
[. . . .]
[creak]
[gasp]
[creak]
[gasp]
[creak]
[gasp]
[. . . .]
[gaaasssp]
[groooaaannn]
[thump]
[pant]
[pant]
[pant]
[. . . .]
“You’re smiling again, Commander.”
“I feel like smiling.”

 

[littlebill]

Ricochet's latest submission (Livvy and Jamie 4) makes a good attempt to capture some of those sounds we make during lovemaking. It's worth checking out.