Describing people, faces and bodies

[Le Jacquelope]

How would you describe an Asian woman? Slanted eyes is not a proper way to describe her; yet almond eyes are quite ambiguous. Jet black hair could just mean someone uses relaxers. Then how would you differentiate a Vietnamese woman from the Chinese man sitting next to her? What about a group of big breasted woman (generous, ample, large? will you'll run out of adjectives by about the 4th person?) or some guy who looks like Michael Clark Duncan or Richard Gere? How about exotic hair types like your average suicide girl?

Basically, how do you write a character such that the reader can't help but go back and read it over and over again just to savor the picture you're putting in their mind?

 

[precious105]

How would you describe an Asian woman? Slanted eyes is not a proper way to describe her; yet almond eyes are quite ambiguous. Jet black hair could just mean someone uses relaxers. Then how would you differentiate a Vietnamese woman from the Chinese man sitting next to her? What about a group of big breasted woman (generous, ample, large? will you'll run out of adjectives by about the 4th person?) or some guy who looks like Michael Clark Duncan or Richard Gere? How about exotic hair types like your average suicide girl?

Basically, how do you write a character such that the reader can't help but go back and read it over and over again just to savor the picture you're putting in their mind?

You seem to need to just read a few stories and pull from them how other authors describe a person, I'm sure someone here can give you an example of a really good author who descibes people well (i can't think of any right now). I also think it helps when you know the setting, are they in japan? china? vietnam? that is usually how I see race set out, and then almond eyes aren't so ambiguous.

If your task is to differentiate a Vietnamese woman from a Chinese man then it would be pretty hard since they look so similar and a generalization would probably have to be made from the narrator or the person talking.

If your having trouble thinking of adjectives then you can always visit thesaurus.com

haha I may not have helped at all (not the best writer and willing to admit it) but its the best I have right now. good luck

 

[Verdad]

Basically, how do you write a character such that the reader can't help but go back and read it over and over again just to savor the picture you're putting in their mind?

Hi, LovingTongue,

Perhaps you could find some examples of character descriptions that have had the desired impact on you, so we can discuss what it is that makes them work?

Best,

Verdad

 

[Morrigu]

You could always use things like bone-structure, texture of hair etc. Asian women always have hair like silk.

Or the way someone smiles, with a dimple in their cheek?

 

[cloudy]

Good question.

I've never really described my characters other than in very general terms like "tall" or "dark-haired." Must work, no one ever complains.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Good question.

I've never really described my characters other than in very general terms like "tall" or "dark-haired." Must work, no one ever complains.

Most writers do that. I want to convey a very vivid sense of "wow, I wanna fuck that person. They LOOK hot (at least according to the words)."

 

[cloudy]

Most writers do that. I want to convey a very vivid sense of "wow, I wanna fuck that person. They LOOK hot (at least according to the words)."

Well, see that's the thing, isn't it? It's very subjective. My person like that would be a turnoff for someone else. I think that's why many writers leave it purposely vague so that the reader can pretty much "build their own" character, and make the character hot according to their own personal tastes.

A personal example: For me, a man who has long black hair, is dark-complected, has brown eyes, is steaming hot (luckily, my SO is like that ). A blue-eyed blond leaves me cold. The next woman may be just the opposite, so you'll never find that "one size fits all" character that will be that "wow, I wanna fuck that person" character for every reader.

As a caveat: for many people, it's not so much about physical descriptors as it is about personality - in real life, that is. For me, anyway, a character who is too perfect physically will throw me out of a story at the speed of light. I find it hard to maintain that suspension of disbelief that is so necessary to read any fiction at all.

 

[freddie_clegg]

I agree with others that over describing can be a turn off and excessive description of body parts is rarely needed. Sometimes, though, its important for the plot to locate a person's origins. One way that you might think about is to use the views of others....

As in... "He'd found it difficult to tell from her looks exactly where in the east she came from. In the end he'd discovered she'd been born in Saigon of Vietnamese parents....."

 

[Softouch911]

The way I measure the attractiveness of a character is through the reaction to him/her by the most trusted "character" in the story: the narrator. The words the narrator uses to describe his/her reaction will tell us a lot about the person, and the observation the narrator makes of the response the pretty one gets from other people tells us even more.

It is quite tricky to pull off because, for example, the narrator can't just say
"she is beautiful" because that is blatant, and stupid. It has to be both enthusiastic and subtle.

For example, in a story I wrote the heroine is observed with physical and personality exposition by the narrator, who is in love with her. Enough said: we trust him, he thinks she's hot, then we sort of buy it. At the same time, it's hard to be certain because ... well, he's in love with her so his judgment is questionable.

But, when they meet in the airport terminal and he sees her coming toward him ... other men (and a couple of women) turn to look at her. She doesn't notice (tells us something about her character, right?). In a couple of minutes she has to sit and wait in the VIP lounge and what happens: a businessman (i.e., respectable, a nice suit, young, good looking himself) comes over to her, chats, asks her to lunch, and politely leaves when she says no (tells us more about her character).

You learn such techniques by imitating (deliberately) very skillful authors. I learned how to show characters from Hemingway (a favorite of indirect technique in the objective pov), Joyce Carole Oates, Nikki Giovanni, and John Updike. Lots of others are good, too.

Hope this helps.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Unless it furthers the action of the story, I leave it out.

I recently wrote a story about anonymous sex inside a library, and there is no description of the man or woman. I almost never describe my characters.

 

[emap]

Generally less is more. However when you really want to draw the eye to this person and not what is happening over there then you want to get a tad wordier.

I do hope that made sense.

Anyway, when you just want to set up a basic idea of a person I think it's best to focus on one thing and sorta skim the rest.

Example: Your eyes are drawn to her as she comes in. Quickly scanning over her you notice how her legs are tanned, the subtle curve of her hips and full breasts. However you can't help but stare at her hair, luscious red and golden it cascades over her shoulders and across her chest. The ends curling up at the end of her breasts and pointing back at her as if beckoning to you. Unable to help yourself you walk toward her your eyes on the firey hair, delighting in the cascades of red and gold, not until you reach her do you notice that her eyes are blue.

That tells someone everything they need to know, and gives them an idea on many others. Also I would hope gets alot of you drooling or hair jealous.

I'd do a focused example to but heck I am not up to it right now, perhaps later.

Though there is one little suggestion I got about an asian woman. You don't have to talked about slanted eyes or tilted eyes or black hair, focus on how she sits. No seriously think about it, a Japanese woman especially will sit down, her knees together pointed toward the wall or her husband/boyfriend/friend. Her hands will be clasped over her knees, purse pressed into the seat at her side, same side as her knees are pointing toward. Do mention she has black hair, or if your wanting to be extra melodious say she has midnight hair. Toss those two together and people will see an asian woman, well at least the ones who pay attention to anything.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

How would you describe an Asian woman? Slanted eyes is not a proper way to describe her; yet almond eyes are quite ambiguous. Jet black hair could just mean someone uses relaxers. Then how would you differentiate a Vietnamese woman from the Chinese man sitting next to her? What about a group of big breasted woman (generous, ample, large? will you'll run out of adjectives by about the 4th person?) or some guy who looks like Michael Clark Duncan or Richard Gere? How about exotic hair types like your average suicide girl?

Basically, how do you write a character such that the reader can't help but go back and read it over and over again just to savor the picture you're putting in their mind?

I'm with Cloudy on this. If you paint too exact a picture, you may titillate a few whie losing many. General terms are far better as far as descriptions go. If it's important to identify a woman as Asian, then come right out and mention "...appeared to be of Asian descent..." or something similar, and allow the reader to fill in the blanks.

When trying to titillate, use precise, non-specific terms (sort of a conundrum, I know). Describe the firm swells of her breasts (no size given unless important) dancing beneath the thin blouse, nipples rocking like a metronome in precisely timed movements, her athletic, finely sculpted bronzed legs rising and falling with each step...

(Looking down) Oops, better stop here. But I hope you see the point about being non-specific yet precise.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

All the description stuff is sideshow to the story. When I read a story I have my own eidetic image of the perfect woman. Your idea of the perfect woman will make me gasp and ACK....maybe.

Porn readers want 3 things: They want a major boner that makes them obsess about the story...and come back for another dose, they want to learn some helpful hints about seducing people, and they want to learn some tricks they can try with momma.

Porn is not a damned travelogue to the South Seas.



Note added by moderator:
This post spawned a discussion regarding the nature of erotica versus porn, which may be found here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=540090

 

[joric]

Vietnamese women look similar to Chinese?

 

[Softouch911]

Reminds me of the first time I wrote a descriptive story (the first day of spring) as a brand new reporter on my first newspaper job. The city editor read my story looking more and more like he would throw up. "Dammit," he said, "bring this shit back when you find something to write about. I wanna hear the color of the duck when it isn't white. And I want the color of the grass when it isn't green. Get it?" And he threw it at me.

Same holds true of writing a character.

Note character description in the preceding.

Respectfully,
ST

 

[wanderwonder]

Yikes!

I'd agree with several others, and say that while it's both unecessary and stifling to describe any character exactly, description does help readers to create an image that they can love. As a reader, I want to know whether the character is average height or not, if they are lanky, heavyset, hirsute, dark and smoldering, light and ethereal. I don't, however, want to read a list of attributes—a woman who is five-foot-six, wears a C cup, a size eight shoe and a size four jean, has brown hair and brown eyes, high cheekbones, a slightly-upturned nose, whose teeth are mostly straight except for that left incisor (which is only a little bit crooked), blah blah blah. And really, when's the last time you got out your ruler and measured nine inches long and a beer can girth? I don't believe authors when they tell me that their main character's new friend had this and that size of a dick, because I've never met anyone who can tell without whipping out the old measuring tape.

I don't think that everything published on this site is erotica; I would agree with JamesBJohnson in that a lot of what is submitted and published on Literotica is indeed pornography, but hey, I'm trying to write really really great porn, and maybe someday my work will be awarded the elusive title of Erotic Fiction and be hailed by closet sex fiends everywhere. Ergo, I do my best to use good literary techniques and to write entries that put story and character first. One of those techniques is to leave something to the imagination, so that each reader can insert their "most fuckable" attributes to each character. If you read the stories on the top lists, most of them are more focused on characteristics than appearance, when it all comes down to it.

And remember, you can't please everyone, so as long as you couldn't be prouder of your work, throw them haters a finger.

By the way, JamesBJohnson, I'd love to read a sample of your work, mayhap to see that infamous honest pornography Have you posted to Literotica, or do you prefer to critique?

 

[Penelope Street]

How would you describe an Asian woman?

For me, the answer depends on the character doing the describing, but if the only thing that matters to the viewing character is that the woman is Asian, that's probably all I would say. If the character is a bigot, maybe something about slanted eyes would be appropriate to the story. One thing I think novice writers tend to overlook is that a description can also say quite a bit about the describer.

I hope it's ok to share a few examples:

My mind was on that issue and my eyes on the worn, gum-pocked tiles of the bus station floor when a pair of black leather boots strode into my field of view, stopped, and turned their toes toward me.

For a second, I just stared, but the boots did not move. With a gulp, I slid my eyes upward from the footwear, over a pair of black leather pants stretched skin-tight by long, muscular legs to wide hips where a gloved right hand balanced a motorcycle helmet. Onward my eyes traveled to a similar black leather jacket, tapered toward a narrow waist, yet widening again to accommodate a substantial bosom.

My gaze followed the flowing ebony locks that lay over those breasts until I came upon a round, chocolate-colored face within which a pair of large, wide-set orbs demanded, and received, my full attention. Perfect her eyes were, large and full like her lips, yet sharp enough to peer into my very soul. My mouth fell open just a bit, although I had no intention of speaking.

Among my goals was to convey that the narrator is timid and that she finds the other woman striking- though I also wanted to show the other character to the readers. By following the narrator's eyes, I hoped to avoid the 'Wanted Poster' description trap

His face was on the round side; cherubically cheerful, one might call it, especially wearing that grin I had yet to see him without. A pair of bright blue eyes sparkled behind conservative wire rim spectacles. His nose had a rotundness similar to his face and might have looked even bigger without the glasses. His body was, for lack of a better word, there; his figure being neither tall nor short, firm nor flabby. A short mop of sandy blond capped his all-too-innocent facade.

Even though his view was directed across the car, I could see those baby blues were streaked with a little red. My eyelids fluttered, as if to blink away my disbelief. Men don't cry, do they? And they sure as hell don't admit it!

For no reason I could put my finger upon, I found myself staring at Oliver for more of the trip than not, in spite of my deliberate attempts to look elsewhere.

Here I was trying to convey that Oliver isn't exactly a hunk and the narrator doesn't understand why she finds him attractive- but still let the reader know why. I'm not sure if it works the way I intended and I did get a little telly near the end.

Beneath a pair of thick brows, a pair of big dark eyes lingered on my bosom. He was older, mid twenties. Sandy blond hair- uncombed wildfire to perfection. Broad shoulders stretching a puce T-shirt. Perfect bit of scruff along a firm jaw and one of those smiles with the upper lip just peeled away from the teeth.

Beefcake du jour.

He'd do.

In the above piece, I wanted to show that the man is a hunk and that narrator is just out for a good time of the sexual variety- but she has standards.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

WANDERWONDER

I dont critique much, here. A couple of people requested it; but I dont go out of my way to review people. I make a lot of comments about general topics, though.

I post my stories on MySpace; and anyone who wants a copy can have one. No one ever has, and I assume most people on Literotica are a lot more interested in seeing their own stuff than mine.

I also tinker with my stories all the time. Ditto for my blogs. So theyre never done-done.

 

[Softouch911]

For me, the answer depends on the character doing the describing, but if the only thing that matters to the viewing character is that the woman is Asian, that's probably all I would say. If the character is a bigot, maybe something about slanted eyes would be appropriate to the story. One thing I think novice writers tend to overlook is that a description can also say quite a bit about the describer.

I hope it's ok to share a few examples:

Among my goals was to convey that the narrator is timid and that she finds the other woman striking- though I also wanted to show the other character to the readers. By following the narrator's eyes, I hoped to avoid the 'Wanted Poster' description trap

RE: Penny's post, and assuming others agree that these strategies "work" just fine (along with a number of others) ....

How much is "too much"?

I think it depends on the audience, or at least that's all I've been able to come up with.

If I have an audience I assume is full of "sophisticated" readers, character can be described in just a suggestion or two perhaps, with a particularly "telling" detail emphasized in a sentence -- for that I like to focus on the eyes myself.

If I have an audience which reads at about a fifth grade level (which is assumed by many popular authors and publishers), then more is needed.

If you agree, do you have a way of figuring out how much is too much?

Yeah, I have an example of general description, but don't want to make a big deal of it until I see if you're interested in swapping ideas.

Happy Labor Day,
ST

 

[Penelope Street]

Yeah, I have an example of general description, but don't want to make a big deal of it until I see if you're interested in swapping ideas.

Why wouldn't we be interested?

 

[SavannahMann]

I tend to cheat

I keep the description fairly vague, allowing the reader to create the imaginary person in their own head. While I do manage to convey the basics, I don't bother going into too much detail.

An example. Turning she saw him standing there by the steps. She was struck once again how good he looked. Blond hair hanging down to his shoulders, a tan sports coat over blue jeans and a sport shirt. The blue/gray eyes that shone with intelligence. The cute little cleft in his chin. Jennifer loved the way he looked, even the slight bulge halfway down his nose, showing where it had been broken playing water polo in college.

The reason I call it cheating is simple. I give eye color, general charictoristics, and perhaps a distinguishing trait or two, in this case, the nose. Everyone knows what a nose which has been broken and healed looks like. The distinctive bump or lump is easy to recognize.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

His face was on the round side; cherubically cheerful, one might call it

Now that is the kind of description I wish I could do for my characters.

 

[wanderwonder]

SavannahMann's technique is something I use a lot, simply because it allows people to create their own sexy, so to speak. It's like saying "tall, dark, and handsome." An image springs to everyone's mind (and usually accompanying character traits), but the exact details of my image may be completely different from the person next to me.

My favorite technique—and I say this with all due sarcasm—is the old "looking at myself in the mirror" technique. We've all seen it. Early in the story we want to know if the main character is gorgeous or an uggo, so they go to a mirror and spend a little time looking at themselves. They usually end up naked, cataloguing their other assets for the reader's sake, so that we know the exact cup and/or penis size of the character. I also hate stories that start off with "Hi, my name is Mandy. I have shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes, wah wah wah wah." It's the mirror technique, only more blatant.

What I'd like to know is how we best describe our main character, especially working in first person. Do they spend ten minutes gazing upon themselves, do we describe them at all aside from general size, do we let other characters describe them? I'm starting to get in a rut with my writing, and would love to hear what others do.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I dont like to include anything that isnt necessary or helpful. So I dont include much description. But description is necessary when you want to create sympathy for a character.

 

[Softouch911]

I also hate stories that start off with "Hi, my name is Mandy. I have shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes, wah wah wah wah." It's the mirror technique, only more blatant.

What I'd like to know is how we best describe our main character, especially working in first person. Do they spend ten minutes gazing upon themselves, do we describe them at all aside from general size, do we let other characters describe them? I'm starting to get in a rut with my writing, and would love to hear what others do.

In first person, I usually let other folk do the describing, or description through action.

"Oh, I see you've changed your hair again," Carbuncle said. "I really liked the purple." (That way the "I" is described and Carbuncle's character is implied, depending on their relationship.)

"I stepped off the curb and the pain shot up my calf when I twisted my ankle. Damn stilettos. Damn him. If he didn't like them so frigging much I wouldn't have to learn to walk in them. I can't help it I'm built like a Guernsey. Why do I have to try to walk like Nicole Kidman?"

These off-the-cuff examples give an idea, but I sure agree that a character describing himself is awkward, unless there is something special about the moment --

"When I looked in the mirror this morning, the inevitable happened. I saw my father. Even the receding hair." Etc.