Describe your last extraterrestrial affair

[Purple Haze]

Penmannship counts, boys and girls.

There'll be a quiz at the end of the week.

Making it up is not an option...

 

[Guest]

The alien came red stuff all over me.

 

[sheath]

Well, that thread title got the first laugh of my evening...

And by the way, he had three cocks. It was fucking HOT.



S.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

I don't know about terrestrial-ness of it, but there was probing involved.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

a bit of a let down, they didn't even probe me like they used to

 

[Nora]

In the (truncated) words of Split Enz...

My love is alien, I picked her up by chance
She speaks to me in ultra-high frequency
The radio band of gold
Gonna listen til I grow old

The crackle of the radio
The message in the evening sky
You're looking at an interplanetary Romeo
I'll never see her face
between us there's too much space

what more can a poor boy do?

(ok, and I'm not a boy, but still...)

 

[teddybear4play]

Well, that thread title got the first laugh of my evening...

And by the way, he had three cocks. It was fucking HOT.

It's actually one cock that splits into three heads, like a Hydra.

We evolved that to simplify thrusting. Thrusting three cocks at once tends to be a bitch.

TB4p

 

[Guest]

 

[Nora]

Chromosone, Shromosone......

You mean...*gasps* I might have been carrying around man-boobs all this time and didn't realize it!!

 

[Agent99]

I don't know about the rest of you, but mine was so good, I am calling it XXX Files.

 

[Jim_Henson]

My last affair was with a kitty of dubious repute, she's pregnant now.

Muppet babies are on the way

 

[Guest]

 

[Smiley777]

I'm pretty sure they wiped out all memory of the encounter. All that is left is a deeply ingrained fear of frisbees.

 

[sunstruck]

I still day dream about the tenticles.

 

[Nora]

Perhaps. Another dead give away is an appreciation for meat smoking.

(wait..... That doesn't sound quite right)

heheh ya know, the topic sorta puts probe thermometers in a whole new light...

 

[Guest]

 

[hogjack]

They showed up

...and of course it was late at night. I had been drinking but their appearance - three of them - sobered me up quickly.

The night is etched in my memory. After introductions I gave them a tour of the house. Then we all had some wine and toasted the coming merger of our species.

I took them to the gameroom where we played billiards and foosball (their extra arm is an unfair advantage, I'll tell ya).

We exchanged business cards, email addresses, and then we hugged. They departed and my place felt so empty. I sat in a rocker and rehashed the evening. Had I been a good host? Did I leave them a good impression of humanity? Were my bathrooms clean enough? I sat for hours contemplating that visit.

I look forward to another encounter.

 

[Ham Murabi]

It was a dark and stormy night when I was approached by the women of the planet Cliche.

 

[Nora]

As long as its a leeetle light.

Now see, that's how it all started. There I was minding my own business driving down that backwoods, dirt road in my pickup truck when I saw this weird little light off between the scrub.

Well, being the curious sort that I am, I had to investigate! And there back in the brush, you know what I saw? These GORGEOUS men wearing nothing but satin toreador pants in every color of the rainbow!

Now, you might have asked yourself what a bunch of shirtless toreadors were doing out in the backroads of the Hill Country, but we don't have "Keep Austin Weird" bumper stickers for nuthin'!

So I asked if they were in need of some assistance (we're friendly down here). Well, the pink toreador looked at the peacock toreador (I think he was the bossman) and they sorta hemmed and hawed a bit...although, I do recall thinkin' they had to be aliens, cuz I couldn't understand a word they were sayin'!

Well, then I just figured they were the Mexican-type aliens cuz of the toreador pants 'n all. Wooooooweeeee, was I wrong!

So suddenly I found myself surrounded by these gorgeous and brightly plumed birds of paradice, and needless to say I wasn't kickin' up a fuss or nuthin'! So the peacock toreador says to me in this sort of broken English (that I mistook for Spanglish), "yes, we could use some assistance. Our vehicle has broken down over there...behind the trees." He gestured vaguely off in the distance.

Well, being a fan of bullfights and men in tight trousers, who was I to turn down a stranger in need?

So, pink toreador and lilac toreador sorta flanked me as I follwed peacock off into the distance. I admit I wasn't paying close attention to where I was goin' cuz...well, I was just followin' the pretty tail feathers of that peacock, iffn' ya know what I mean!

So I finally tear my eyes away from that purdy sight and I see this great, big, behemoth of a ship! Dang, it must've taken a shit load of Turtle Wax to get that thing that shiny!! Well, so anyway, I got to thinkin' that me an' a bunch of toreadors might not be worth the aggrevation, but there was pink and lilac pulling me along with key-lime bringing up my rear! He had good hands, he did.

But I digress. I don't recall much after that, although that might've been the tequila talkin'. I do know that when I woke up the next morning I had me a new concha belt and a rainbow array of hickeys in places a lady just doesn't mention in mixed company.

*sigh* I never saw hide nor hair nor pastel satin scrap of them again. Just like a buncha pansy-colored, probe-'em-and-leave-'em, alien toreadors, ya know?

 

[Weird Harold]

*sigh* I never saw hide nor hair nor pastel satin scrap of them again. Just like a buncha pansy-colored, probe-'em-and-leave-'em, alien toreadors, ya know?

I think we have a winner!

 

[Sillyman]

Do homoerotic Klingon encounters at the science fiction convention count?

 

[zipman]

Hey, has Frimost been in here yet???

 

[Worm]

She was green.

 

[Sillyman]

It was really interesting the way they would grunt Klingon into my ear as they reamed me. I had no idea what they were saying but it was sexy as fuck.

 

[Gil_Favor]

Hey, has Frimost been in here yet???

Hes in the time machine with the aliens, he will return soon as a Feminine Alien Alpha male