depressed

Zidane

Literotica Guru
Joined
Nov 4, 2001
Posts
520
I don't know why I really posted this here. Not even sure why I'm here. I'm in one of these moods which is happening more and more often of late. I just sort of 'blank out' and just a bunch of depressing thoughts just swoop into my mind. My mood darkens and my demeanor becomes harsh and aloof and pretty much nothing can make me happy for hours on end, sometimes days. Its like nothing has meaning anymore, its just...there. Something to look at but never have, as it always has been. Its just so depressing, like everything it seems. Over and over again, I think, I'll get out of it, I know I will, but the more I try, the more bitter I get. Again, I don't know why I'm posting it here, in this forum or even at this board. Not even sure what I expect to get out of this by posting this. I just am, it seems....
 
Zidane~

Don't feel alone. . .I get this way too. I don't know what brings it on, or makes it leave for that matter. Sometimes it will last for only an hour, sometimes a day and sometimes even a week. It is not PMS, so don't even go there!

I think certain things that go on in the course of a day trigger mine. Most of these black moods don't last more than a day. I do feel your pain though, I am going through one of these right now. . .

depressed too-

:( :( :( :( :(
 
i get it too often. i know what you feel like man. for me its sexual frustration, im pissed cuz i barely ever am with a woman/man and am too shy to meet them lolz. i jus need more then what i get... and when im in this mood im also on the verge of orgasm lolz, like every bit of my body, if touched, would make me explode lolz.
 
yeah i know how u feel buddy. Trapped that is.
I used to go heavy into online or video games to bury my mind.
Doesn't seem to help. What does help is to shoot glances at all the hot babes in my grad school class :) lol ... and then to picture them in all the splendor of active and horny male imagination!
J/k but i find it interesting to be able to walk up to any girl and just sort of say hi and start some sort of a conversation.
Nothing beats adrenaline rush at those moment trust me :)
 
Zidane said:
I don't know why I really posted this here. Not even sure why I'm here. I'm in one of these moods which is happening more and more often of late. I just sort of 'blank out' and just a bunch of depressing thoughts just swoop into my mind. My mood darkens and my demeanor becomes harsh and aloof and pretty much nothing can make me happy for hours on end, sometimes days. Its like nothing has meaning anymore, its just...there. Something to look at but never have, as it always has been. Its just so depressing, like everything it seems. Over and over again, I think, I'll get out of it, I know I will, but the more I try, the more bitter I get. Again, I don't know why I'm posting it here, in this forum or even at this board. Not even sure what I expect to get out of this by posting this. I just am, it seems....
Kept your whole quote here because I've been there/ done that.
I finally went to a doctor, and these depressive feelings are now balanced thanks to paxil (mostly an anti-anxiety drug).
You are not alone, and the holidays for some reason make things worse! Hang in there, and we at Lit are here. Best Wishes for the new year.:)
 
Thank you all for your comments and thoughts, but in reality, after looking back on this with a fresh mind, I see I really shouldn't have posted this at all. I don't see what compelled me to do so. I'm still sorta depressed even now, but its not even close to what I was feeling earlier I think. I think I hit a new low. I am feeling better, but I guess its something I have to deal with myself....
 
Zidane... don't fool yourself.. you can't deal with something like this on your own.

And don't fool yourself by saying ... 'I'm feeling a little better now so I'll be ok'.. cos you may go back to where you were.

Like Jenny I know these feelings.. from the intense..I want to die feelings right down to just feeling blue.

Thanks to my doctor I've learnt that I can't control the feelings my self, that they are caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. So no amount of saying ... I can deal with this myself... would make any difference.

Thanks to my doctor I'm now taking meds that make my life easier and happier.

Please Zidane.. visit your doctor, and talk about the way that you are feeling... it just may save your life.

Love and hugs to you my friend... Sharon
 
Zid...

Hey there...I guess I want to add on a bit to what some folks here have said, in a way...

I'd say most people have struggled with your situation at one point or another. Even those 'terminally happy' folks get it once and a while, you just usually never know that. Even speaking for myself, I was able to show a pretty normal face to the rest of the world, while inside I had hit that point where I had very little motivation to live anymore.

As people have suggested, I think perhaps a visit to some form of healthcare practitioner could be a good thing. Now, depending on your personal views on 'medicine', this doesn't necessarily have to be an MD of the Western tradition, or necessarily even a psychologist/iatrist. If you are so inclined, someone like a Reiki master, acupuncturist, or the like could also do a world of good. Different strokes for different folks.

Depression can certainly be due to all sorts of medical reasons. For some, it is diagnosed as that chemical imbalance issue. For some it's related to seratonin levels and things of that nature. For me personally, I believe my overwhelming, crushing depression was tied to having converted at some point to pretty heavy hypothyroidism. If you see an 'alternative practitioner', they may find problems with your ki, or some snarls in your energy flow, or imbalance in your chakras.

I'd ask folks not to mock either ideas. I have seen both work marvelously for people going through this, and various other health problems. If *you* don't believe in it, that's fine, but trying to take that from other people can be selfish, hurtful, and deadly at times. In the end, whether it's a "real cure" or just using mind over matter, does it really matter? What matters is the person is better.

This can be so inisidious...feeling depressed can be so vicious, leaching all that is you. Yet it is so intensely personal, you often don't want to involve others. So often you have to 'show the good face' and all that. The self isolation often just adds to the pain and frustration. It can so easily become a quickly downward spiral. Of course I am speaking for myself here, but it is echoed by many with the same issues.

Find support where you can. If you find support here, great. There are quite a number of us who care a lot about the souls we meet online. I know I worry a lot about folks sometimes, even folks I have never met (RL or online). I know pain is a part of life, and it does help mold us into who we are. It *is* an important part of the growing process. But it's not one you have to go alone all the time.

I hope you are feeling better Zidane. I hope you continue to feel better. I also hope you go visit someone about what you're going through. There is no shame in it, or in asking friends for help. And if you're ever in need of a few cyber-hugs, just look me up. Hugs can be a pretty amazing cure for things sometimes too :)

*HUGS*
Mae
 
Keep smiling...

It may be a Brit thing... but we say "keep your chin up"...!

I think most of us get depressed at one time or another - but this time of year gets to a lot more people due to the limited sunshine during the winter months. (Not that the UK gets a whole lot during the summer...lol)

So all I can say is "Don't let the bastards get you down...!"

And have a good X-mas

Midas2001
 
Stay Positive..

Midas.. you've made an excellent point..

There is such a thing as 'seasonal depression' Zidane.

The theory behind this is that light enters our brain through our eyes.. and creates a feeling of well being.

Therefore, in winter, when the days are darker and shorter, less light reaches our brain.. and many become depressed.

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel in summer, when you tend to spend more time outdoors, and the days are lighter and longer??

If you have.. then keep house lights on.. don't wear dark glasses..
and don't oversleep. Let as much light into your eyes as possible..

Love and hugs..
 
It's always darkest before the dawn

It's always darkest before the dawn
always sleeping with the radio on
always running ten minutes late
always being told to hurry up and wait

Come on baby, just dance you see
Come on baby, I'll help you see
what it means to be
swinging in the promised land

It's always dropping your keys through the grate
always trying but everythings fake
always sleeping alone every night
always trying to see things as bright

Come on baby just dance you see
nothing matters because the dancings free
just try and see
what it means to be
swinging in the promised land



Listen or don't. Your a human being and can make your own decisions. Just when things seem their worst, sometimes the world dumps more shit on you. You just hang in there. Growing a plant is essentially free. Dancing is free. Telling a joke and laughing are free. Your free. If something is so wrong that it isn't working then change it. Move. Think of a place where you always wanted to live, and go there. Find a little bit of yourself. Think about the things that make you smile.

No one said that life was easy, but it doesn't have to be so hard. Remember, your a person, and you deserve things too. Don't be afraid to listen to advice, but don't let people tell you what to do. You decide, and if you make a mistake it's okay, your entitled.

Sometimes people feel that they may have past a point of no return. That's just not the case. I think the only thing that gives you the inability to forget mistakes or to correct them, is an ending to this relatively short life. Considering humans last less than a century on average and the Earth is 4 Billion Years old, I think you get one shot to plant your flag, no matter how small. Write, write to yourself. Write nasty angry letters if you need to. Then crumple them up and throw them away. Even if its just one word. Write stupid songs, draw frogs, goofy ones. Smell things. Old socks, fresh flowers. Get your senses going. Make someone a card. Make yourself a card. Ride a horse. It's about 30 bucks for an hour, most cities have stables too. That should scare the shit out of you. Make you feel alive.

I'm not trying to get into your life or interfere, but you sound like you need a hug whoever you are. And You have one right here. Go make some new friends. Meet some new people. Remember a time in your life when you laughed. Look deep. Go there. Be active, get out. Change jobs, schools. Go to school. I knew a lady who was 80 years old and just graduated from college.

It's okay to say NO to people who are giving you negative energy. A great thing is changing your living space around. Making if flow better. Use the things that are there. You take the steps to enhance your life. If someone interferes with that it's okay to say goodbye.

You sound like a decent human being. The most basic component of the collective "we" of people is that we communicate so well, and your communicating. Your just another one of us.
 
Thankyou Ladybird.....

To all of you - "Keep in the light"... take notice of MrFla - wise wise words bro'.

I also have a philosophy...

Live each day (each minute) as though it is your last... because one day... it will !

Merry Christmas To One And All


Midas2001
 
no its okay, really. I can get through this on my own as many times I've done before. Sorry for posting what I did above. I just wasn't in the right state of mind then. >_<
 
Great advice, MrFla

MrFla said:
...Listen or don't. Your a human being and can make your own decisions. Just when things seem their worst, sometimes the world dumps more shit on you. You just hang in there. Growing a plant is essentially free. Dancing is free. Telling a joke and laughing are free. ... Think about the things that make you smile.
No one said that life was easy, but it doesn't have to be so hard. Remember, your a person, and you deserve things too. Don't be afraid to listen to advice, but don't let people tell you what to do. You decide, and if you make a mistake it's okay, your entitled.
... Write, write to yourself. Write nasty angry letters if you need to. Then crumple them up and throw them away. Even if its just one word. Write stupid songs, draw frogs, goofy ones. Smell things. Old socks, fresh flowers. Get your senses going. Make someone a card. Make yourself a card. Ride a horse. It's about 30 bucks for an hour, most cities have stables too. That should scare the shit out of you. Make you feel alive.
Thank you for sharing your poem and for offering such wonderful advice. I'm going to adopt some of your suggestions, although I'll probably skip the "old socks"!;)
 
Pffff, "happy pills", whatever.

I'm on Wellbutrin (twice daily) and I'm still depressed as hell more than half the time. Plus, I have a mood that swings around more than the sexual orientation of many of the people here.

I don't really have any good advice to give you right now (if I did I would use it myself). I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
 
Hi Zidane,

Look if you don't feel like going to a psychologist or are not comfortable with the thought that's fine go to your normal md and discuss it with them. This could be just a mood you need to get over but the only way you will ever know that is to ask.

Good Luck hun and hugggggsssssss hatara
 
Thanks for all the comments, really. But I don't need them, the post above was a big mistake, sorry to have posted it. >_<
 
DEPRESSION

I wish anyone well who might be suffering from depression, or even just a "dark mood", but I find myself ahsking my head and trying not to think some rather uncharitable thoughts as I read this thread.

People, you simply cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. I have been on both sides of the "helping the unwilling" situation, and it is a waste of time. If the original poster feels bad enough, for long, enough, he will do something to make it better, such as go to a qualified medical person. If not, there is nothing you can say or do to make him want to take any action that could make him feel better.
 
I agree

You can not help someone who does not want it. I attempted suicide 3 times before realizing I may have a problem. After Zoloft and Xanax for some time I am doing alot better and am now off medication, but the first step in anything is taking the initiative to seek what you need and want. Hopefully all will be well with you and anyone else who is feeling down. Whether this post was a mistake in your eyes or not, perhaps, just perhaps it has helped someone else. So I say thanks for raising the issue and I wish you well. Take care. Later.
 
I've been depressed before, and I'll be depressed again. Most of the time though its just that I feel that I have no one to talk to and once I find someone to tell my feelings too it feels better. I personally don't want to visit a shrink and don't seed a real need for "happy pill" because I'm not a danger to myself or others. Anti-anxiety pills may get me out of my shell more often but they won't teach me the social skills I would need. I usually just get depressed because I feel that my life isn't turning out the way that I would like. Just like diet pills are no substitue for healthy eating and exercise(not like I do either of those) "happy pills" are not a substitute for social skills and will to do things. I'm guess this is how he felt and all I've got to say is find someone you can talk about your problems with.

Find someone that you can connect with because all life is, is a series of moments.
 
happy pills

I am afraid i have to take issue with the term "happy pills "
A lot of that came from publicity that came with the overprescription of prozac by nonqualified practioners,and not specialists.The fact is depression is a disease,a potentially fatal one.In some age groups it is a leading cause of death.As someone stated in an earlier post,you take antibiotics for infections,so why not antidepressants for this disease.
The hard part is determining if what you feel is the normal blues that everyone goes through or true clinical depression.If there is any doubt at all,you need to get outside help to make that determination.Mae made some good points about the usefullness of alternative practioners.Also be aware that not wanting to ask or inability to ask for help are symptoms of depression.
With the variety of treatments,from talking to friends and other suggestions made here,to professional treatment and medication,the fact is we should all be able to reach happier places in our lives.
BTW......"happy pills" have never made me feel happy(I wish).
What they did was allow me to be the person I am,with all the ups and downs normally associated with life.
 
Applaudes Digger

Wow Digger... it's great to see some common sense shown here.

It's so easy for people who have never experienced true clinical depression to make light of it. Its because of general ignorance and apathy that those of us who do suffer mental illness have to try and hide our symptons... often making them worse.

It is a fact that 25% of people with bipolar disorder (manic depression) such as myself, will suicide. It's a life threatening disease... more serious than cancer and heart disease. But I can't tell people about it... I'm shunned, treated as a hypochondriac. It would be so much easier if I did have cancer.. my problems would be accepted by the public, and I would have a better survival rate.

My symptoms?? Oh yes.. I become depressed, feel blue.. flat.. emotionaless. But I also suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, short term memory loss, confusion, insomnia, lack of motivation, extreme iritability, sleepyness, etc etc etc.

So when someone talks about true clinical depression... they don't just mean the blues.... but all of the other horrors associated with it.

And if antidepressants help to alleviate those symptoms... what right does anyone have to refer to them as 'happy pills'??

Thanks Digger for this.....

BTW......"happy pills" have never made me feel happy(I wish).
What they did was allow me to be the person I am,with all the ups and downs normally associated with life.

Spot on my friend !!
 
Ditto here as well!

digger51 said:
I am afraid i have to take issue with the term "happy pills "
BTW......"happy pills" have never made me feel happy(I wish).
What they did was allow me to be the person I am,with all the ups and downs normally associated with life.
Thank you for noting this, Digger!

Ladybird... I agree with you as well. The "mental illness stigma" is so misunderstood! I suffer from depression as well, and am thankful for the meds that have reduced my symtoms and are helping me get through this life. I am weary of the misconceptions of this common, yet debilitating, situation and know it is one of the factors that is making it so difficult to find new employment. Glad we can discuss our situations in such an open forum as Lit.

Now ... winning the lottery! THAT's a real "happy pill" that I would enjoy!:D
 
For about 15% of people who suffer from depression, it is a terminal disease.

If that doesn't make you stop and think about throwing terms like "happy pills" around, you've no hope.

They're not happy pills. They simply allow you the strength to find happiness in life as everyone else can.
 
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