Democrat, Republican or Redneck? (political - not especially)

[Zeb_Carter]

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer



BANG!




Redneck's Answer







BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG !

Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist

 

[oggbashan]

Perfect Solution:

BANG! BANG!

(wait 5 seconds)

BANG!

(Two in the body, one in the head)

Then dial 911.

Og

Edited for PS: Your answer for a Democrat can't be correct because the Democrat is carrying a firearm and is an expert shot. Therefore the Democrat, and probably the Republican, would respond as my perfect solution above. The Redneck would probably be close to his hummer and grab an RPG because .45 cal just ain't enuf to make sure...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I qualify as a redneck, but I'm reminded of a duel one of my ancestors fought. Granddaddy Ward went to the hotel where his antagonist was registering, and challenged the man to a gunfight. The man refused and tried to shoo Granddaddy Ward away. Granddaddy Ward then hit the man's face with a whip. So they had a duel.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If this is true;

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

and this is true;

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

then your "democrat's answer" is not true. But it is what I'd expect you to claim.

 

[DeeZire]

Zeb - no offense man, but shouldn't you be posting this on the Rush Limbaugh forum? Or is that where you got it?

 

[3113]

Was that supposed to be funny?

 

[3113]

Oh, wait, I think I can make up one of these jokes. Let me see...

You're walking down the street with friends when an American of Iranian descent accompanied by with his wife and two little children passes you by and politely wishes you "good evening." What do you do?

Democrat Answer:

Say "Good evening" back and continue on your way.

Republican Answer:

Tackle him with your friends, demand he confess to being a terrorist, and when he protests that he was born and raised in this country and is a loyal U.S. citizen you waterboard him in a nearby pond while your friends rape his wife and threaten his children. When he finally admits he's a terrorist in hopes that you'll spare his children you shout "HA. Knew it! Wait till I tell this to the democrat ahead of us who thought this guy was harmless!"

Redneck Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

So. Was that funny?

 

[amicus]

I thought so, but predictable....I hate it when that happens!))

Ami

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oooh, I've got another one!

You're waiting for the light to change, and two men who are wearing the bright turbans of the Sikh religion cross the street. From a truck passing by, some young men yell "Go back to iraq, you terrorist towelheads!"

What do you do?

Democrat; Apologise for the abysmal ignorance of some of your fellow Americans,
Republican; Advise them to cut their hair and stop wearing those towels,
Redneck-- well, we've already seen the rednecks in action.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Oooh, I've got another one!

You're waiting for the light to change, and two men who are wearing the bright turbans of the Sikh religion cross the street. From a truck passing by, some young men yell "Go back to iraq, you terrorist towelheads!"

What do you do?

Democrat; Apologise for the abysmal ignorance of some of your fellow Americans,
Republican; Advise them to cut their hair and stop wearing those towels,
Redneck-- well, we've already seen the rednecks in action.

Personally, I would do nothing. The men in the truck have a right to have and express those opinions. If the Sikhs complained to me about what the men in the truck said, I would apologize for them. Of course, I am a registered Democrat.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Liberals will work a Baye's probability equation for every lion they meet in the jungle, to avoid a rush to judgment. Rednecks let God sort the lions out up in Heaven.

 

[Leeboytoy]

Yep, us rednecks love shooting us some of them towel fellers.

 

[DesertPirate]

Hmmm, was working in the garden today so my neck is a bit red
The 357 is always loaded

You figure it out!

 

[redpaint]

I'm a Ol' Leather Neck, guess I fall in with them thar Rednecks.

 

[Dragonlipz]

In reply to the original post:

that's shit's as tired as it was three years ago when the republiwannabees put it out on the email rounds - I work in aerospace where a whole lotta folks have brilliant minds but stunted personal development - they'd rather let Rush tell them what to think about issues that require more than a solution matrix or a reference manual to solve.....
While I respect many of my coworkers ability to solve complex technical problems, I have a good daily laugh at their complete inability to grasp simple social truths: republicans and conservatives can be your friends but probably wouldn't let you fuck their sister.....or their brother.....forget about joining the country club.....
BTW - I believe in gun control....using both hands....

 

[Stella_Omega]

Personally, I would do nothing. The men in the truck have a right to have and express those opinions. If the Sikhs complained to me about what the men in the truck said, I would apologize for them. Of course, I am a registered Democrat.

"murdering towelhead" is a rightful opinon?

You do know the difference between a Muslim and a Sikh, don't you?

 

[Guest]

I'm walking down the road with my husband and my children . . .

 

[Liar]

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Nothing factually wrong with the premise here.

Except the words Islamic Terrorist. A bearded Arab guy with a knife and a murdering disposition is not the same as an Islamic Terrorist. Not even if he praises Allah.

And it's spelled terrorist. Not Terrorist.

 

[ishtat]

Personally, I would do nothing. The men in the truck have a right to have and express those opinions. If the Sikhs complained to me about what the men in the truck said, I would apologize for them. Of course, I am a registered Democrat.

A Sikh wouldn't complain He would pull out his Kirpan and do somthing pretty nasty with it. Sikhs make up a vastly disproportionate element of the Indian military because they traditionally are such redoubtable fighters.

Incidentally it is a religious requirement for a Sikh man to be armed at all times. Not unlike Texas I suppose.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Put a cap in his ass when he reaches for the blade.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Might I add that here, in Bumblefuck, it would be highly unlikely to run into some bearded "Islamic terrorist". Hell, if we see anyone from another country at all, we'd just assume they're dental students.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

We have plenty of them here, plus their mosques.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
Personally, I would do nothing. The men in the truck have a right to have and express those opinions. If the Sikhs complained to me about what the men in the truck said, I would apologize for them.

"murdering towelhead" is a rightful opinon?

You do know the difference between a Muslim and a Sikh, don't you?

It was "Terrorist Towelhead" and it's not the same as "Murdering Towelhead." I know they are two separate faiths with little in common, but I don't know very much about Sikhism.

 

[Boxlicker101]

A Sikh wouldn't complain He would pull out his Kirpan and do somthing pretty nasty with it. Sikhs make up a vastly disproportionate element of the Indian military because they traditionally are such redoubtable fighters.

Incidentally it is a religious requirement for a Sikh man to be armed at all times. Not unlike Texas I suppose.

Since he was on foot and the others were in a passing truck, there wouldn't be much he could do, unless he threw the kirpan and punctured a tire.

Some Sikh teenagers have run afoul of regulations against coming to school armed. They would not be given a religious exemption, because being armed like that would be illegal. I believe they were allowed to carry toy knives, or something like that, in order to stay within the law and meet their religious dictates.

 

[Stella_Omega]

A Sikh wouldn't complain He would pull out his Kirpan and do somthing pretty nasty with it. Sikhs make up a vastly disproportionate element of the Indian military because they traditionally are such redoubtable fighters.

Incidentally it is a religious requirement for a Sikh man to be armed at all times. Not unlike Texas I suppose.

In Los Angeles, not so much of the fighting.