Definition of bi

[Lovepotion69]

Hiya,
Well, I'm quite new to the GLBT board. Pardon the silly question (which I'm sure you've heard thousands of times).

How do you define someone as bi?

Personally I define myself as straight but bi-curious. I would find it fun to do it with a girl as an experiment, but I just don't get the same feelings looking at a girl, as with a guy. I can't imagine myself falling for a girl. If I liked doing it with a girl, I might do it again, but it'd all be purely sexual.

To me being bi means being able to FALL IN LOVE with both sexes. Not just that you have sex with both sexes.

 

[fille]

I don't think I agree with the "falling in love" part -- a person may be sexual without being in love, or even ever having been in love. So I think it means being sexually attracted to both men and women, in such a way that you would act on both attractions, or really, really want to act on them. I think that most people have sexual fantasies that involve members of the same sex, but that doesn't necessarily make them bisexual. They may fantasize about things they would never actually try, in the same way that many women fantasize about rape but wouldn't want to really be raped.

 

[Hooper_X]

To me being bi means being able to FALL IN LOVE with both sexes. Not just that you have sex with both sexes.

I completely concur with this statement. I have something of a fetish for really big black dicks. I've even sucked a few over the last 15 or so years (a few being four ... I think). But, I have had no desire to have any kind of same sex relationship beyond the semi-anonymous BJ. I don't find men attractive, by which I mean I've never looked at a man and thought that he was sexy or cute. If the truth be told, I couldn't care what a guy looks like: fat, bald, ugly or what have you, so long as he has a truly big fat veiny black summer sausage hanging down his leg.

This is probably why I haven't had more experience with that sort of thing. All of the other times when I thought there might be a chance to hook up, the guy was looking for a boyfriend or something. I'm not capable of an emotional investment where a man is concerned. I've never kissed a man, or even let a man blow me for that matter.

With women, especially a pretty woman, there is also the sexual attraction. However, in addition to that, there is the desire to actually be with her in a non-overtly-sexual fashion as well. I'd want to kiss her all over, cuddle with her on the couch while watching movies, give her a bubble bath, and all of that shite. I also want to bang her so hard that I immediately fall into a deep coma-like sleep without even withdrawing.

I believe that sexuality isn't a discretely measured with notches for gay, bi, and straight. I think it's more of a graceful continuum.

 

[SweetCherry]

Seeing as the word is "bisexual", I define that as being sexually attracted to both genders. Why else would "sexual" be in the word? If you wanna involve emotions, I think that starts taking it to different degrees of one's sexuality. I've seen it said before, and I'll echo it here. Love has to do with the person, not the genitals.

 

[Pookie]

I define bisexual as being attracted sexually to both sexes. I don't believe it has to include the ability to fall in love with both sexes though. I define that as biamorous.

 

[Hooper_X]

I define bisexual as being attracted sexually to both sexes. I don't believe it has to include the ability to fall in love with both sexes though. I define that as biamorous.

I would tend to agree if there were any such word as "biamorous" in the English language.

 

[webber1998]

Seeing as the word is "bisexual", I define that as being sexually attracted to both genders. Why else would "sexual" be in the word? If you wanna involve emotions, I think that starts taking it to different degrees of one's sexuality. I've seen it said before, and I'll echo it here. Love has to do with the person, not the genitals.

I like the way that SweetCherry defines bisexual and I echo her opinion.

 

[Pookie]

I would tend to agree if there were any such word as "biamorous" in the English language.

So would you also say you would tend to agree that we're posting at Literotica ... if there were any such word as "Literotica" in the English language?

"Biamorous" is used quite often, even though it yet appears in any dictionaries that I'm aware of.

 

[bottom boy]

I think being bi is more about sexual attraction than love - isn't this one's "sexual orientation"?

However, i do believe there exists a spectrum of sexuality - from those who would never consider a homosexual act to those that would, but would never "love" someone of the same sex, to those that fall in love with the same sex...

Just my two cents. bb

 

[TulaneCowboy]

From my perspective of looking at it for 20 years, sexuality is a bell curve.


Straight........................Bi............................Gay


Most folks fall in the middle somewhere, whether or not they admit it. A few are truly "straight" or "gay" and even those should never say "never". People, sexuality, maturity, needs, etc. are too mercurial for "never" to apply.

 

[Angel]

Uh, I'm sexually attracted to men all the time who I don't fall in love with. If I was only sexually attracte to men, and I was in love with none of them, would this not make me straight?

I am bi SEX ual.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Interesting answers. I just stated what I felt about myself and my sexuality, not what I think generally. And yes, it's called biSEXUALITY. So, I guess that if you're sexually interested in both sexes, you are bi. Just always been curious how others define it.

Still, for me personally I guess I make a slight distinction at times between sex and who I'd want to form a relationship with.

 

[Hooper_X]

So would you also say you would tend to agree that we're posting at Literotica ... if there were any such word as "Literotica" in the English language?

"Biamorous" is used quite often, even though it yet appears in any dictionaries that I'm aware of.

I was under the impression that "Literotica" was a proper noun, and thus, not analogous to a made up word. My point is that the word bisexual encompases sexual and romantic attraction. The English language is dynamic. So, perhaps one day biamorous will be a real word. Then I'll refer to myself as a heteroamorous primarily heterosexual with chaotic neutral tendencies.

 

[Pookie]

I was under the impression that "Literotica" was a proper noun, and thus, not analogous to a made up word. My point is that the word bisexual encompases sexual and romantic attraction. The English language is dynamic. So, perhaps one day biamorous will be a real word. Then I'll refer to myself as a heteroamorous primarily heterosexual with chaotic neutral tendencies.

Perhaps one day "biamorous" will be a "real word." Just as you may one day also have a "real personality." Really.

The word "bisexual" is by definition, "a person who is sexually attracted to both sexes" or "sexual activity with both men and women." Sex and love are not the same thing. One can exist in the absence of the other. Many bisexuals are only sexually attracted to the the same sex, without ever having any romantic or amorous feelings for their own gender. Many don't have the capability of being romantically attracted or "in love" with the same gender. But they may well have a strong sexual attraction for the same.

But you call it what you want. The English language is dynamic. So, perhaps one day the definition for bisexual will include "romantic attraction" as well.

 

[Hooper_X]

Perhaps one day "biamorous" will be a "real word." Just as you may one day also have a "real personality." Really.

Ah yes, inappropriate aggression, the hallmark of a mediocre intellect...

I hope you won't mind if I ignore you from now on.

 

[Pookie]

Ah yes, inappropriate aggression, the hallmark of a mediocre intellect...

I hope you won't mind if I ignore you from now on.

I would hope you would, considering your intent to be a smart ass from your very first reply to me.

If you want to discuss something civilly, I'm open to that. You didn't appear to have that desire from the outset. So be it.

 

[Queersetti]

I was under the impression that "Literotica" was a proper noun, and thus, not analogous to a made up word. My point is that the word bisexual encompases sexual and romantic attraction. The English language is dynamic. So, perhaps one day biamorous will be a real word. Then I'll refer to myself as a heteroamorous primarily heterosexual with chaotic neutral tendencies.

The word biamorous is frequently used in queer circles.

 

[Hooper_X]

The word biamorous is frequently used in queer circles.

I have no problem with the idiosyncratic usage of "biamorous" in queer circles. I only take issue when someone attempts to impose that nonstandard usage on me, especially when they are belligerent about it. Just as with heterosexual and homosexual, bisexual commonly has a romantic as well as sexual connotation.

 

[Pookie]

I have no problem with the idiosyncratic usage of "biamorous" in queer circles. I only take issue when someone attempts to impose that nonstandard usage on me, especially when they are belligerent about it. Just as with heterosexual and homosexual, bisexual commonly has a romantic as well as sexual connotation.

I didn't attempt to impose anything on you. I said,

"I define bisexual as being attracted sexually to both sexes. I don't believe it has to include the ability to fall in love with both sexes though. I define that as biamorous."

YOU'RE the one that made the smart assed reply to me. My reply was to the thread starter who specifically asked, "How do you define someone as bi?" If I was replying to YOU, I would have addressed YOU directly. She asked the question, and I gave my reply as quoted above.

YOU chose to initiate being a smart ass with me. I returned the favor. Now you're complaining about the manner in which I responded to your direct and belligerent response to me. You reap what you sow.

Before you complain about someone being belligerent with you, take a hard look at how you start your own discussions. If you want me to be civil with you, then act civil yourself, hypocrite. You would be amazed what just a little tact on your part can do in a discussion. Look it up. It's in the dictionary.

Again, I'll be happy to be civil with you, if you decide to choose the same course next time.

 

[Queersetti]

I have no problem with the idiosyncratic usage of "biamorous" in queer circles. I only take issue when someone attempts to impose that nonstandard usage on me, especially when they are belligerent about it. Just as with heterosexual and homosexual, bisexual commonly has a romantic as well as sexual connotation.

I disagree. I think that a large proportion of bisexuals are bi only in terms of sexual attraction, but choose members of the opposite sex when choosing romantic partners. I dare say there are far, far more bisexuals who are in relationships with members of the opposite sex and dally in same sex activities then there are who are romantically involved with members of their own sex and dally with the opposite sex. If you are correct that bisexuality inherently contains a romantic element, I do not believe that disparity would exist.

 

[Hooper_X]

I'm of the opinion that the disparity of which you wrote is primarily a function of the societal pressure, from both the gay and straight community, to choose sides.

Also I believe that where we disagree is in a measure of degrees. I don't think we have the same idea of what does or doesn't constitute a romantic relationship. For me, if two people kiss, know each other's real names, or have any interaction that does not involve some sort of penetration, I'd consider that to be more than purely sexual.

 

[fille]

At the other end of the spectrum, there's also love that doesn't include sexual attraction. I have a gay male friend of many years. Anyone who knows us would tell you that he's in love with me. In fact, he's told me so himself. But he also told me that he was not able to work up any physical attraction to me. And no, I'm not just unattractive!

That's another reason that I think "bisexual" refers to the sexual desires one has.

 

[strawberryopera]

i would consider myself bi-curious.
i've not yet found another guy I would like to be sexually active with.
i think there must be some physical attraction to jump in the sack with someone (of either gender).

I've always been attracted to women, there is something so awesome you women have beyond any words.
but i find myself curious about men.
the men is purely sexual however, but I couldnt just do anyone.
there would have to be some sort of physical attraction.

thats me said.

 

[TheRiddler]

Originally posted by fille
At the other end of the spectrum, there's also love that doesn't include sexual attraction. I have a gay male friend of many years. Anyone who knows us would tell you that he's in love with me. In fact, he's told me so himself. But he also told me that he was not able to work up any physical attraction to me. And no, I'm not just unattractive!

That's another reason that I think "bisexual" refers to the sexual desires one has.

I will vouch for fille not being unattractive. In fact, she is sexy as hell!

 

[fille]

I will vouch for fille not being unattractive. In fact, she is sexy as hell!

And the Riddler has no shortage of beautiful admirers, so I will take that as a very nice compliment. Riddler, where have you been? I miss your sexy bod.