Defending His Right (LW)

[Athena_e19]

I am posting this here for some wider criticism and evaluation of a story I wrote for the Loving Wives category that is being shredded by "Anonymous". I don't feel the writing is below par for me or that the story line itself is any worse.

It seems to me that most of the readers don't feel that this is line with their fantasy for the category.

It has a cuckolding and humiliation element to it, so I would love to hear some outside critique from a writing standpoint and not just stroke evaluation...

Here it is:
Defending His Right

 

[Penelope Street]

It's pretty well known that several cliques frequent this particular category. No matter how you slice it, there's just no pleasing them all. Seems like the major ones are the cuckold crowd, the husbands play too group, the adulteress that gets caught and punished posse, and the adulteress that gets away with it association. What makes these readers tick might be a good subject for a graduate level psychiatric thesis, but I don't see any reason you should fret over it. If you do, you're just making their problem yours.

 

[starrkers]

I just read your story. It's a well written piece, but I can certainly see why the trolls have attacked with such ferocity.
It doesn't sit well in the LW category, in any of its guises.

 

[jomar]

Yeah, your only problem was the LW category. I noticed it was your only story there. There was another thread around today with the same problem - fine story, LW category. Hard to win there. Don't sweat it.

 

[kandie]

I am posting this here for some wider criticism and evaluation of a story I wrote for the Loving Wives category that is being shredded by "Anonymous". I don't feel the writing is below par for me or that the story line itself is any worse.

It seems to me that most of the readers don't feel that this is line with their fantasy for the category.

It has a cuckolding and humiliation element to it, so I would love to hear some outside critique from a writing standpoint and not just stroke evaluation...

Here it is:
Defending His Right

AWWWW don't worry about it love! That dang, "Anonymous Troll" is just jealous because he did not write it. You need to learn to handle criticism if your going to write. Roll with the flow baby, if you enjoyed writing it and it was posted here...you're a winner in my book. And besides, learn to only reply to those who leave an ID....as that troll will drive yah to drink otherwise. As he wants to upset you, once he knows he has done that. He’ll revel in it. Take care and keep writing.

 

[Athena_e19]

The trolls don't get to me much, anonymous or otherwise. The best part about it is that they misspelled most of their witticisms. Ha!

What I like about writing good stories that are highly rated, is that those who generally give feedback are people looking to give constructive criticism as to writing style, diction, etc. Since I was mainly getting "man hating, lezbo, whore, stupid, etc" I wanted some outside commentary.

Thanks for everyone who read!

 

[KOLKORE]

Another view

What you described as an element of humiliation came across to me and from what I read with those who did not enjoy the story, as a very extreme story, conveying such level of intense humiliation that I felt that it certainly conveys hate. I have been reading the loving wives section; Erotic coupling; Letters; Non Erotic; Essays; Romance; Some Non consent; Mature; poetry and the humor sections, and I would say that your story is about two standard deviations higher than the average in intensity of humiliation and anti man emotions in this particular story. For the LOVING WIVES section it was absolutely not a good match. (This was a descriptive not a normative statement).
I do not believe that calling the readers ‘Trolls’ gives you a good clue as to how to move forward at least in understanding a big slice of the readers.
Plus contempt to readers does not help IMO understand where you could improve; in terms of getting to a level of listening to people’s underlying issues (even if some readers are upsetting they still cared enough to read and to send a message).
Not the enemy (but maybe a troll),
kolkore

 

[starrkers]

I don't know about others, KOLKORE, but I never see you as a troll. You always give reasoned comment on why you did or did not like a story. I might not agree with your assessment, but I am always glad to see your name on a comment on one of my stories.

To me, trolls are the ones whose comments consist of insults and little else. Like this (gleaned from the Feedback Portal)

Let us know how you feeel about nigger cock

when it gives you AIDS or an STD. You're ex-husabnd was right you are not but a cum holder for a nigger. Good fucking luck and I can only hope your kid(s) can some how get away from you. YOu should die a slow death.

At least this tells me why the reader didn't like it (PC from one of mine)

Ho Hum!
02/10/07 By: Anonymous
It was a good read since I coulnd't sleep. But I did after reading this

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Athena

You've been dabbling here for years. It's hard to believe you weren't aware of the polarity of views in Loving Wives.

Your story, like most of your work that I've read, is very good and this is no exception. You explore a dark corner of life and give us unromantic answers to difficult problems which make the reader think. Your writing skills are good.

Why choose the category? There is a divergence of views there between men who don't tolerate female infidelity and those that want the humiliation of being cuckolded. Your story, however good, was never going to appeal to either camp.

Why don't you redesignate the category to non-consent or erotic couplings and see what happens?