Deepest Secret; What The Heck Is This???

[Laughter]

Hello,

This is my first post, but I've spent a ton of time reading different threads. I love it here!

Ok, on to the real deal. I need to talk about something I have NEVER told anyone.

I am close to 40 and have always been with women. Ever since I was 16 up until now, alllllll women. By the way, I am also a woman.

My issue is this..... ....funny how it's hard to type a "dark inner secret"! LOL

Ok, I have found that I SUPER-FANTASIZE about being with a man. I fantasize about ALL kinds of ways to meet up with and have sex with a man or two.
I also love to watch porn that includes men and women----my partner (of 7 years) dislikes porn in general, so we don't watch it together anymore. I buy my own porn and watch it while I am alone for my own enjoyment.

When she and I have sex, it's great---but I feel so guilty because I fantasize about being licked/sucked/fucked by a man. I can't help myself.

So, now that I have admitted that I am basically obsessed with the thoughts of men, I am embarrased. You see, my circle of friends are all lesbians for the most part, and none of us dares to talk about men and sex. We're all "women-only" women, if that makes sense. But----I don't feel a part of the "sisterhood of sisters", so to speak!

Most importantly, I am not sure if or how I should breach the subject with my partner. One time I hinted to her about a fantasy that I had.....I told her that I would love for her to introduce a 3rd party into our bedroom by surprise while I was bound and blind-folded......I, of course, was drooling over the thought of a man, but she later mentioned the name of a woman we both knew mutually. NOoooooooo.

Anyhow, I could type away for hours, but I hope you get the basic idea. I am just confused as to how to handle this obsession----I'm sure there is a better term for it! LOL

Thanks for reading this and for any advice that you might have.

~Laughter~

P.S. Right before I met my partner, I was actually gathering information on swingers groups in the area that I lived! I was "so close" to fulfilling my fantasy......but I am so glad to have met such a terrific partner!!!! Just wish she had a penis.

 

[Frimost]

The same advice applies if it were the other way around.
If that is you're hearts content then don't feel guilty about it, broach the subject, explore it a little, and if you are ready and decide this is what you want experiment and try it.

 

[deezire1900]

P.S. Right before I met my partner, I was actually gathering information on swingers groups in the area that I lived! I was "so close" to fulfilling my fantasy......but I am so glad to have met such a terrific partner!!!! Just wish she had a penis.

I don't think you really wish she had a penis, just an open mind to this fantasy of yours. So many other things come along with a penis...

I wish I also could find an open minded partner, more for other things, because being fucked by a butchie girl with a strap-on is more my style...But I always try to look at the other side. Is it fair to her? When she met you and fell in love with you...were you honest? Probably not. Now you owe it to her to be honest. Don't cheat...(maybe you were not going to anyway). Try the subject again, very straight forward this time, and if she still says no...then you can determine if 7 years is worth the risk to be with a dick.

Wow...where did this soap box come from? I should flip it over and make a Go-Kart out of it. Thats more me.

 

[Etoile]

I would say you should definitely be honest about your partner with this. It is similar to a woman admitting bi tendencies to her husband, and yet not quite the same thing because of all the social stigma going in the direction you're going. The idea that a lesbian wants to sleep with a man is horrifying in many lesbian circles, even though it shouldn't be. We talk so much about women who want to try sex with another woman should tell their husbands, but we never want things to go the other way. Regardless of that, though, if this is something very important to you, then like everything else you should discuss it with your partner.