December Affairs

[stormalong]

I am a relatively new on here so am not sure of the interest of the sexual hijinks of the AARP crowd. However, I thought I might share my story and see if there are others in a similar situation. I recently discovered that my wife of 47 years is having an affair. She certainly is not a cougar but is not an average 69 year old either. When she was younger, I think she would have been considered rather average looking. Small breast, wide hips. Probably would rate a 4 out of 10. At 69, she has not changed a lot but compared to her peers now, she is probably an 8 out of 10 due to a healthy and active lifestyle. Discovering the affair was rather a shock but quite exciting as well. I had always argued that monogamy is unnatural for humans but had expected the argument to benefit me not the wife. So now I guess I have to walk the talk. As I thought about it, I concluded that if the old gal still has it in her then good for her. I plan to stay out of the way and let her have her fun. Are there any other older men whose wives are having affairs or older women who are interested in affairs?

 

[magicalmoments]

I am a relatively new on here so am not sure of the interest of the sexual hijinks of the AARP crowd. However, I thought I might share my story and see if there are others in a similar situation. I recently discovered that my wife of 47 years is having an affair. She certainly is not a cougar but is not an average 69 year old either. When she was younger, I think she would have been considered rather average looking. Small breast, wide hips. Probably would rate a 4 out of 10. At 69, she has not changed a lot but compared to her peers now, she is probably an 8 out of 10 due to a healthy and active lifestyle. Discovering the affair was rather a shock but quite exciting as well. I had always argued that monogamy is unnatural for humans but had expected the argument to benefit me not the wife. So now I guess I have to walk the talk. As I thought about it, I concluded that if the old gal still has it in her then good for her. I plan to stay out of the way and let her have her fun. Are there any other older men whose wives are having affairs or older women who are interested in affairs?

I admire your attitude to your discovery. Have you contemplated bringing the matter up with her and giving her your blessing?

 

[Paradox]

I am a relatively new on here so am not sure of the interest of the sexual hijinks of the AARP crowd. However, I thought I might share my story and see if there are others in a similar situation. I recently discovered that my wife of 47 years is having an affair. She certainly is not a cougar but is not an average 69 year old either. When she was younger, I think she would have been considered rather average looking. Small breast, wide hips. Probably would rate a 4 out of 10. At 69, she has not changed a lot but compared to her peers now, she is probably an 8 out of 10 due to a healthy and active lifestyle. Discovering the affair was rather a shock but quite exciting as well. I had always argued that monogamy is unnatural for humans but had expected the argument to benefit me not the wife. So now I guess I have to walk the talk. As I thought about it, I concluded that if the old gal still has it in her then good for her. I plan to stay out of the way and let her have her fun. Are there any other older men whose wives are having affairs or older women who are interested in affairs?

I am not an older woman looking for an affair, and as far as I know my wife isn't having an affair (kind of wish she would...I think it would be good for her), but I find your post very interesting and applaud your attitude. I will be interested to hear how things play out.

 

[subwannabe]

I also wonder if she knows that you know. There are a lot of circumstances that obviously we do not know and you may not know either. From your short post I would just caution that just because you found out she was having an affair doesn't automatically give you the green light. It could wreck a 47 year marriage. If that means anything to you at all I would recommend as much communication as possible. If it works out to an open relationship then that's great. Personally I would be a little pissed if I had wanted an open marriage for years and didn't act on it, only to find out that she had decided to have one by herself without informing me.

 

[BiDrew42]

I also wonder if she knows that you know. There are a lot of circumstances that obviously we do not know and you may not know either. From your short post I would just caution that just because you found out she was having an affair doesn't automatically give you the green light. It could wreck a 47 year marriage. If that means anything to you at all I would recommend as much communication as possible. If it works out to an open relationship then that's great. Personally I would be a little pissed if I had wanted an open marriage for years and didn't act on it, only to find out that she had decided to have one by herself without informing me.

This is the situation I had with my ex-wife. Tried for years to get her interested in trying other sexual partners. Closest we ever got was having sex in the same room with her cousin and her husband. I was madly in lust with the cousin and she and I had actually discussed trying a foursome. Her husband was also interested but my ex was not.

Even after I discovered her first affair, I told her her new lover was welcome to join us and if she wanted other lovers I was okay with it as long as she didn't try to hide it from me. She ended that affair and we had another couple of good years (our sex life was better than ever) but I discovered she was having another affair a couple of years later and I divorced her.

 

[stormalong]

I admire your attitude to your discovery. Have you contemplated bringing the matter up with her and giving her your blessing?

I have thought about telling her that I saw them together and yes I caught him with his hand in the cookie jar only it was not his hand and it was not a cookie jar. I am not sure how she would react. I suspect she may feel bad about cheating but I think she might feel worse if she thought I did not care. Also I rather enjoy knowing and now I can look for the signs of meetings etc.

 

[stormalong]

Perhaps I should supply a bit more information. We have been married for 47 years and I expect it is a fairly typical marriage. Lot of passion in the early years and then the pressures of raising 3 children, careers, family etc., start eroding the intimacy as a couple. Probably more my fault than hers but still we drifted apart. Now the basic relationship has always been pretty good in that we get along well and care for each other. However, we probably shorted ourselves in the area of intimacy and passion. Kate was raised in a good catholic family and attended catholic schools through high school. That education supplies a lot of baggage but even so she has always been sexually responsive but only showed interest in vanilla sex.

Kate has always been interested in art so after we retired, she took some art courses, we converted a shed into a studio, and she became active in the local art scene. I knew she had become very good friends with another artist and they spent a lot of time together. I actively encouraged it since I was not big on art shows etc. Kate is 69 and he is probably about 60. He is shorter and stockier than I am but still reasonably fit looking. I know Kate is partial to a nice bum and unfortunately I am stuck with the old man skinny butt. He is married but I expect not getting much at home. I am sure his wife was very attractive when younger but now she is close to 300 pounds. I know she is enjoying her art and if she can enjoy some passion with this other guy, I do not begrudge her that. I should mention that I am not a reliable performer these days. I was seriously ill a few years ago and while surgery corrected the major problem, I have not gotten back to my old self. Of course I have not gotten any younger either.

 

[stormalong]

A new development that is quite interesting. On her computer, I found hundreds of nude pics of her. Mostly quite tasteful and artistic but some were rather raunchy. Many were in his studio but a number were taken outside in what I assume were secluded wilderness areas. A few years ago she did model nude for an art class. I was rather surprised that she would do that but she said the poses were tasteful and the students need live modes if they are going to learn how to draw the human body. It appears that she did a separate photographic study for him. I must say the old gal has really surprised me. However I am enjoying seeing how far this has gone.

 

[TJReilly]

It sounds like your wife is way ahead of you sexually. I think you should talk to her about it, not in an accusatory way, but in a supportive and understanding way. Knowing she has a lover obviously turns you on, and being the case, there is no point in you getting left behind sexually. You have spent your life together being a family and are raising children, now perhaps you should spend your time together exploring new sexual experiences. Nothing can change what has happened in her life or your life, but now you have the opportunity to make your marriage experience even better. Don't make demands of her, rather let her know that you want to grow sexually with her, where ever that might take the two of you. If you should decide to talk to her about it, be patient and understanding. Knowing and accepting that her husband knows she has been unfaithful, and is OK with it, is a big step for some women. Give her time to be OK with you knowing before you make a lot of suggestions.

 

[stormalong]

Right now I am simply enjoying finding out more about her affair. Quite frankly, I am not really interested in participating. Maybe in time I will let her know so that she can be a little more free in her plans but I am not sure how she would take that.