Debbie's Confession (Closed)

[debbiev]

Six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and ever since I've just had the urge to masturbate all the time. Well not all the time, but like 3 to 5 times a day 7 days a week. That is probably not normal. I'm 23 and 5'5" and weigh 128 lbs. I have long brown curly hair and brown eyes. Tan complexion, curvy, bubble butt, 36d.

I've never had trouble getting guys to like me, but I just don't need the hassle now, especially with guys my age who are totally selfish. But my sex drive is high and I just need to satisfy it. But every time I cum after masturbating I feel guilty. But then I get horny again and the cycle continues.

Anyway I thought about seeking counseling, I mean I can't keep doing this. I often drop what I'm doing take my clothes off and just get my magic wand out and begin. Often rushing home to masturbate. I need help.

The counseling idea scares me, I mean the counselor is looking right at you. I would love to tell someone anonymously and maybe they can help me. Wait a minute, I remember going to confession and the priest looks to the side. He doesn't look at you. Maybe I should try that. I mean at least I would get this off my chest by telling someone. Maybe he can help me too, I mean they aren't supposed to masturbate. But who knows.

Okay, I'm gonna get dressed and go. God, I'm not even sure how to dress. Maybe I'll just dress neatly and not over dress. The priest won't see me anyway.
I decide on...a red button top and black jeans. Black clogs and underneath a red bra and red bikini panties. Not that the priest will see my bra and panties....I giggle a bit with that thought.

I get in my car and drive to church feeling so nervous.

 

[georgerb]

I entered the confessional to say my prayers for guidance, a routine that was long established. The routine always started with a long run through the early morning to help clear my mind and prepare me for the solemn task of absolution. After my run and then a steaming shower, I dressed in black slacks and shirt with my collar. So much more comfortable than my robe.

At 35 years old, I felt comfortable having been here for nearly 10 years. A quiet parish of about 300 souls, that was growing slowly. At six foot tall and a trim body, I’d like to think my sandy brown hair and green eyes coupled with my resonant voice was a beacon for my congregation. Confession was an extremely personal event for not only the patron, but for me as I helped them with issues troubling their souls.

As I sat there, I could hear the footsteps softly in the chapel as the day started, nuns doing cleaning or saying their prayers. Parishioners entering to light a candle, pews mildly creaking as the aroma of fresh lit candles drifted into the confessional. I heard the soft music start up, signaling that Father Harrison was ready to hear confessions.

 

[debbiev]

The Embarrassing Confessional

I feel my nervousness increase as I enter the church. Each step I take echoes through the church. Maybe I shouldn't have worn clogs. Fuck, the sound of my own footsteps are getting me more nervous.

I head towards the confession, no lines. I suppose most people don't go to confession anymore. I wouldn't know, I just know I haven't been since my Confirmation, so like way over a decade ago.

I enter the confessional and kneel down, I can feel my heart pounding as I begin to break out in a sweat. The little door opens and I see a priest, he's in his 30's, looks like a normal guy, well actually he's kinda cute. Fuck why couldn't I get a priest who is like 80 years old and half deaf? This is gonna just make it more embarrassing.

The thought of bolting out of the confession crosses my mind as I look at him, but thankfully he looks sideways. "Um....yeah...I mean... Bless me Father for I have sinned. Um....well it's been a long time since I have gone to confession or church. I mean, well I suppose I have sinned a lot in all those years. But I'm here because something is seriously bothering me. I mean, um...not sure how to say this, it's very embarrassing. But I guess I'll just say it."

I take a deep breath, "I masturbate to excess Father. I know that is wrong and all, but it's like constant. My mind is always on sex. I want to know how to stop that and if not stop it how to at least do that less often. I have such guilt after I finish masturbating. I don't know if you can help me or if I need to just say the rosary or start going to church, maybe that will help. I just know the guilt from doing that is too much for me and it's affecting me mentally. I could go into more details, but I just needed to tell someone, maybe just discuss it and I figured you could help me."

I put my head down and just continue kneeling, kinda waiting for you to forgive me or ask me questions or heal me or yell at me or I don't know what. I know I just feel like a total fool now.

 

[georgerb]

I was almost startled from my thoughts as I heard the somewhat abrupt entry into the confessional. I had been contemplating the worn look of the chairs arms from the hands of many priests over the years. And the similar patterns and depressions on the kneeling bench on the other side. While the lattice divider offered reasonable privacy, this one was more open than most, maybe due to the age of this chapel.

I listened to the frustration and urgency of the penitent on the other side, sensing her desire for help as well as the obvious embarrassment. I’ve heard a lot of things over the years, but not quite something like this. Really? Years of not attending and masturbation is the primary concern? I stifled my chuckle but couldn’t help a small smile actually. He saw her bow her head, awaiting my words, and her chest taking deep breaths under the red blouse.

“Bless you child for seeking guidance in your troubled times, you have chosen well to return to the Church to seek what you need and calm your troubled waters.”

I saw her take a deep breath and let it out, appearing thankful I hadn’t condemned her to hell after her rapid burst upon entry.

“I do think we can discuss thing rationally and find the right path that allows you to come to peace within. And you are wise to know more frequent attendance at services...and confession, can help the answer be revealed to you by the Holy Spirit.”

Glancing more to my side than normal, and self admitting a curiosity, I saw her relax more. It also allowed me to notice the small mole by her mouth as my senses picked up a faint whiff of a perfume.

“Tell me more of what may drive you to this frequent act of self pleasure?”

 

[debbiev]

Masturbation at Target

The Priest's response is a major relief. I wasn't sure what to expect but it appears I may have made the right decision coming here. I mean I can feel that he calmed me down and I suppose that's the first step on handling my nervousness and my excessive masturbation problem.

I half listen to him talking about the Holy Spirit and getting peace within. I'm more relieved he didn't sentence me to a years worth of prayers or hear disappointment in his voice that I haven't attended church or confession. Instead he wants me to discuss it, which could make this even more embarrassing, but I suppose discussing it is the only way to cure my excesses.

When the Priest asks me to tell him more of why I think I have this self pleasure drive I again feel myself getting nervous. But I know this has to be discussed, I mean otherwise how can he help me?

"Well Father, I don't know why. I don't know if it's my body wanting it or if it's more of a mental thing. I do know it interrupts my life. Like the other day I was driving to Target to buy some makeup and a couple of other things and I had the urge to masturbate. I was almost at Target, but I thought about turning around and going home. But I didn't, instead I pulled into Target and parked away from other cars. Then I masturbated in my car."

I hesitate not sure I sure tell him any more, like how I came and how I felt afterwards. So I decide I've said enough and I'll wait for his response, so I just end it with, "Well I just felt really dirty and ashamed after I did that in the Target parking lot."

I put my head down again, a shameful feeling overcoming me again.

 

[georgerb]

I listen to her story of visiting the Target store. Just the image of a young lady masturbating causes thoughts in me, let alone the image of her doing so in a public fashion. Was the public display a cry to be caught? Even if it lead to some corrective action?

“My child, you weren’t worried about being seen? It’s probably one thing to do this when only God can see, and another to do so openly. Could that have been an acknowledgement by you to come reveal these actions to me?”

I paused to let her think. “It may be a positive thing that caused you to come back and seek help. Lift your head daughter...all can be forgiven if you desire so and follow a path of atonement.”

I struggled on my next action.

“Here’s my private number in case you need to talk about your urges. I expect you to attend services tomorrow and think about your actions. And confession soon again to help me understand how to help you.”

Sliding his card under the lattice and breathing in deeply of her perfume...

“Say 3 Hail Marys and follow through on my instructions and you will sleep well tonight.”

 

[debbiev]

4 More Times...Definitely Not Cured

"Father I didn't wanna be seen by anyone, I just had to masturbate right then, it's like something comes over me and I just have to cum. I didn't remove my clothes I just undid my jeans and slipped my hand down my panties and fingered myself." I look down, feeling embarrassed but then add, "I'm sorry this sounds so crude Father, but maybe you are right, maybe me masturbating in a parking lot was a cry for you to help me, well through God."

When you tell me to lift my head, I do as I listen to you tell me all can be forgiven and that I need to follow a path of atonement. Looking at you as you write down your private number and slip it to me under the lattice. So glad you will be able to help me and that you didn't embarrass me. I get a good feeling from all this and it's all such a sense of relief.

"Yes Father I will attend services tomorrow and I will think about my actions. Next week I will attend confession again. Thank you Father, but I doubt I'll need to call you, you have made me determined to fight these excesses." I make the sign of the cross and leave.

I go into a pew and say my three Hail Mary's. Then I leave the church and head home. I'm really happy I confessed my masturbation addiction today. For the rest of the afternoon I'm okay and don't think too much about masturbating. But it's Saturday night and I'm alone and I should be hanging out with some guy or something. I don't know, I just feel lonely and horny. Oh god am I horny.

I head to my bedroom and get out my magic wand. Then remove my clothes and put down a towel. I lay on my back and hold the wand over my clit. My other hand on my breasts caressing them and then pinching and pulling my nipples gently. I begin cumming and quite a lot as I feel it seep down to my ass and to the towel below me which is not unusual as I tend to gush.

I lay there for about 15 minutes and begin to get horny again. I start the wand up again. Cum again and then I repeat it again and again. After I cum the fourth time I get up and get dressed as guilt begins to overwhelm me, I blurt out, "Fuck, I was just at confession and now this and four times. Dammit. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

I decide to call the number on the card. Feeling really nervous as I hold my cell and wait for Father to answer.

 

[georgerb]

I spent the rest of the day with my normal duties around the church. A bit preoccupied though with the thoughts of the confession from the young lady in the red blouse. For some reason it kept coming to the surface of my thoughts. Somewhat unusual, but it wasn’t frequent for a lady to come announce such actions.

She was obviously seeking help and I was trying to formulate a plan on how to assist her. I reflected on my decision to give her my number, if it was proper to do so. I rationalized that it was no different than offering counseling services to other parishioners, and maybe the calling capability would make her more likely to seek help.

After dinner, I showered and made final preps for the sermon tomorrow. Luckily it was pretty much done, as my mind wandered, remembering the unusual confession and the smell of that lemony-jasmine perfume. I hoped she was earnest in her desire to seek help. I added her to my special prayer list as a soul that needed a guiding light from above.

Just as I knelt to start my prayers, my cell phone rang with an unknown number, “Hello, Father Harrison speaking, how may I help you?”...

 

[debbiev]

The Embarrassing Phone Call

When I hear Father's voice I pause, wanting to click my phone off. With my finger on the hang up button, I pull it back. With my voice nervously shaking, "Um, yes, um Father Harrison, yeah this is Debbie, I was at confession earlier and you gave me your number if I needed help. Not sure if you remember me but, well, um, I'm the one with the excessive masturbation problem."

Then realizing, oh god how dumb of me explaining who I am, I mean he can't have that many women who confessing that and that he gives his number to. God I'm such an idiot.

"Well anyway, um, I kind of lost control tonight and I did that four times. I could have kept going too, but it bothered me that I did that, especially after seeking your help. I don't know what to do but I just can't always stop what I'm doing to masturbate. I need help Father Harrison."

 

[georgerb]

Temptation

“Calm down my child...I want you to sit and take some deep breathes, letting them out slowly. Count to three as you inhale, to five as you exhale. Do this several times...let the calm enter your soul...”

I was shocked that she called so soon. Actually thinking I’d never hear from her again. God does work in mysterious ways. Her words conveyed her turmoils and I swore the smell of lemons and jasmine.

“Is it possible you being “bothered” is another calling from the Holy Spirit to draw you closer to the help you seek? It may be a quiet message to you that the path you have chosen is the direction you need to follow.”

I could hear a calming to her breath even through the phone. That reassurance that a hand was being held out to her.

“Debbie, my child in Christ, you and atonement seek one another. I suggest after services tomorrow, we have a relaxing brunch where you can speak freely without any judgement...what do you think?”

I chased away so any images of her actions....

 

[debbiev]

Panic Over Meeting and The Urge To Cum

I sit down and take deep breaths as instructed by Father Harrison and it does help calm me down.

"I suppose that could be the reason why I'm bothered. I suppose the Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways. I was afraid to call you but I'm not so glad I did.
Thank you Father for trying to guide me through this. I'm beginning to feel like I can tell you anything. Thank you for being here for me."

When you suggest a relaxing brunch tomorrow I hesitate. Oh god he is gonna see my face and get to know who I am. That is mortifying. But I know I have to do it, Father Harrison is helping me, I can feel it. I know I can get past this and stop my excessive masturbating. "Um, yes I think that might help me. Thank you Father Harrison. I really appreciate you going out of your way to solve this for me. I will see you tomorrow."

I hang up and then blurt out, "Oh my god, what the fuck did I just get myself in to?" I mean I have to be face to face with the priest I confessed my masturbation addiction to? Oh shit. But maybe he will help me. Yes, he will. He said he doesn't judge. I can do this. I can.

The night goes by and the next morning I get up and get ready to go to church and then brunch with Father Harrison. I'm seriously nervous as I shower and get dressed, unsure what to wear. I don't wanna be too dressed up and I don't wanna be too dressed down. I certainly don't want to dress like a slut. Hmm, decisions.

I decide on...
A white button top with frills down the buttons and on the cuffs. A gray skirt, about 3 inches above my knees. It fits me kinda tight but then again all my skirts, dresses and pants do, it's comes with my bubble butt territory. I mean between that and my 36d's they aren't the easiest things to cover without my clothes being stretched out. Well unless I wear a tent. I shake my head and giggle a bit at that thought, picturing myself having brunch with Father while wearing a tent. Underneath I put on a white bra and white low cut bikini panties.

A bit of makeup along with some lavender perfume. I brush my curly hair and head to my car. While sitting in my car, I think about touching myself, I mean I have easy access with a skirt on. Should I? No, I can't, I'm going to church and meeting with Father Harrison, I can't go there smelling like sex. God what am I thinking. I start the car and drive to church, feeling proud I resisted the temptation to masturbate in my car.

I park my car and walk into the church, then sit in the back and wait for Father to come out onto the altar.

 

[georgerb]

Seeing the Sinner face to face...

I was glad she decided to meet for brunch, and more so her confirmation to attend services. Surely this was a big step forward for her after years of being absent from services and from her admitted constant self pleasure. Maybe with my encouragement she can find ways to alleviate her urges.

The sermon went well, today's topic was on I Corinthians 7:5. Scanning the pews, I noticed the lone figure towards the back in her white blouse. This had to be Debbie, the child in dire need of guidance.

As i greeted folks on their way out, I was pleasantly surprised she remained seated. A good sign that she didn't flee before our meting. I did have thoughts of that happening last evening after our call. Thoughts of that and other things involving her.

I walked back up the aisle and placed a hand softly on her shoulder.

"I am pleased you came, Debbie. Shall we walk to a nearby spot to break bread and build strength for your challenges?"

From this position behind her, I glimpsed the tight gray skirt and her legs crossed, and the frilly top. And the images I had last night that were not appropriate.

 

[debbiev]

The Face to Face Meeting

I watch as Father Harrison as he performs the mass rituals and then gives the sermon. The sermon seems to be directed at me as it discusses sexual relations, intimacy and being tempted due to lack of self control. It's like this passage in the Bible was written for me and Father knows it.

As soon as the mass is over, I have the urge to bolt out of the church. But I don't. Almost feeling glued to my seat. Not sure why, but I think it's because I have gone this far and I need to follow through to solve my excessive masturbation problem.

As Father stands at the back of the church and greets the parishioners I know I'm trapped. I just sit there frozen as I feel myself nervously sweating. Then I feel hands on my shoulders and Father Harrison's comforting words.

Almost afraid to look back at him as I feel my face flushing. I stand up, trying to be composed despite being a nervous wreck I shake Father's hand. "Nice to meet you Father Harrison. Thank you for helping me. I have to say, this is quite embarrassing, I mean actually meeting you face to face and you knowing what you now know about me." I lower my head down still feeling like I wanna bolt out of the church. But at this point I suppose I'm deep in and have to follow through no matter how embarrassing it is.

 

[georgerb]

I sense her shivering from nerves and the courage it took for her to greet me face to face. Definitely a sign of a child needing my assistance. As I hold her hand, my other one softly places a finger under her youthful chin and guides her head up towards mine so our eyes can meet.

"I am privileged to know what God and you have decided to share with me Debbie. Your prayers are about to be answered as you have requested so openly. The challenges may seem to be insurmountable, but the Holy Spirit and I can help you achieve those."

Her face seems to brighten a bit, as I slide a hand around her back.

"Let's head out for some brunch and a deeper understanding of your issues."

As we walked out, she never noticed the nun watching from the side...

 

[debbiev]

Father Comforting Me

Your finger under my chin as you lift my head up and I look into your green eyes. God you are handsome. But you're a priest and you are gonna help me. Dammit, focus Debbie. I hear you saying something about the Holy Spirit and my courage, but either I'm too nervous to listen or your green eyes are hypnotizing me.

I smile a bit at you as I feel your hand around my lower back. Knowing you are trying to comfort me as we walk out and head out of the church to have brunch.

"Father Harrison I really appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to help me. I will try to overcome my embarrassment and know that you are my connection to the Holy Spirit and that is what will help me. I thank you for treating me like I'm not crazy or oversexed and for sincerely trying to help me cure my excessive behavior when it comes to this."