Dear Penthouse...or No NO NO! This is what happens!

[Thumper]

OK...here's the story.

This coulda went just like a letter to Penthouse..

About an hour ago I got a call from a friend of ours(A rather attractive single female that I have entertained a few ideas about) that lives in our condo complex. She needed some help moving a dresser and some other furniture to a pickup truck.

So far so good...sounds like a classic letter scenario..

Well I get there and she is not wearing the standard fare (Tight shorts and mans button down and no bra) She's wearinga sweatshirt and jeans...Ok I can deal with it..

We get the stuff moved and then she says "Thanks, I really appreciate it. I can get the rest."

That's it!

No bending over in front of me and noticing me looking down her shirt in admiration. No surreptitious glances at the stiffening in my jeans. No.."Come in and have a Coke." where she stands across the room from me after having undone another button on her shirt.

No "I don't have any money to pay you but maybe there is some other way I can make you glad you came over" as she walks towards me begins undressing me and leads me to the bedroom and ravishes me...

Isn't that the way it is supposed to go?? Doesn't she know this?

I am....miffed..yeah that's a good way to put it..miffed I tell you!

DEAR PENTHOUSE,
YEAH RIGHT!
signed,
SCWEWY WABBIT!

[Edited by Thumper on 11-28-2000 at 02:57 PM]

 

[Temptress_1960]

Hard to believe

Seems like it should have gone the way you wanted LOL.

Reality - what a concept. I just wouldn't want to live there.

 

[forgetunome]

Poor wittle wabbit

It's okay...she's probably an android or something!

Or frigid.....

Or those things written in the Penthouse aren't really true...SHOCK!!



So....Scwewy Wabbit....are you still UP for moving some furniture for me?? *wink* *just a sec...gotta undo my blouse* *there blouse is undone....OOPS...I'm such a clutz spilled water on my blouse now you can see my nipples...*

Here help me move this sofa.....please!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

We get letters ... We get letters ... Stacks and Stacks of Letters

oh yea Penthouse Letters ... I love it .... but you know what? ... i really don't believe those letters ... they are definitely for the most part fantasies ... or maybe exaggerations in some instances ...

anyways ... that's what i love about fantasies, dear ... cause i am certain you have already fucked her a hundred times in your mind ....

and i love writing fantasies, too ... and reading wonderful fantasies like yours, baby ...

 

[Countess DeWinter]

On no!! Don't look in our minds! I've managed to keep everyone blissfully unaware that I undress them with my eyes (or my mind, since on the BB, I only have pics to look at rather than the real deal).

*panting* When you get through with forgetunome, Thumper sweetie, I've got some heavy lifting to do too... I promise to play good head banging music if you'll bang...oh my! Did I say that?

 

[Thumper]

Yowsa! She got it!

HI Isabella!!!!

Maybe not a hundred times...once or twice...I doubt she would even think of me that way...

It does seem that every letter writer in Penthouse is hung like a horse and looks like Brad Pitt and every apartment building is just filled with young nubile super horny women.. I prefer my fantasy with a touch of realism..like this lady I helped today...real. Not built like a brick outhouse but not in any way unattractive..very edible..as you are Miss Isabella

Some do have a Penthouse lifestyle..right Mr. Expertise!!!
HMMMM? LOL

 

[Thumper]

WABBIT VAN LINES

This could be the premise for a cheesy but Oh so hot porno flick...LOL

Drive my truck to all these different houses and never move so much as a lamp..hehehehehehe

Countess...I would love to help you move...what we move we can negotiate
*whispers* I saw your ass....very nice!

forget...hmmmm what shall we do about this...here let me help you out of that wet shirt..careful don't spill it on Countess...watch out! Uh Oh now her shirt is wet too...

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Life is just a fantasy...

Oh my! Well, Thumper, you seem to be over dressed. Let's fix that...

oooohhhhh! much better!! And who's playing that corny porn-flick music?

BTW, I gave your amihotornot pic a 10

 

[Lil-Brandi]

...total definition of mental deceipt!

So when you heard she had furniture to move...your mind played the scenario of a bed recently bounced to a 45 degree angle from the wall, a dislodged headboard, a bedside lamp knocked over, and pictures on the wall leading to the bedroom, laying on the carpeted hallway floor. LOL

I cannot believe how bad she deceived you!!! Some neighbor that is!!!!

 

[SimplySouthern]

Yanno...I was just thinking about that the other day myself.

Penthous letters that is.

How come strapping young men never come to my office to discuss any myriad of legal problems befalling them and then offer to pay the consultation fees in trade *if you know what I mean * (wink, wink, nudge nudge)??

Never...not one time. The closest I have come to even discussing sex is when we represented the man who had "relations" with his goat. His defense? It was MY goat.

Oh well, in that case, Sir....you are free to go.

Damn reality....damn it to hell. Why can't I live in my little Penthous Forum dream world?

 

[Thumper]

"IIIII've gotta follow that dream, wherever that dream may leeeead!"

Never...not one time. The closest I have come to even discussing sex is when we represented the man who had "relations" with his goat. His defense? It was MY goat.

Oh well, in that case, Sir....you are free to go.

Damn reality....damn it to hell. Why can't I live in my little Penthous Forum dream world?

I've got the truck....let's go ladies...Penthouse dreamworld it is....

*wonder if they have goats there?*

 

[forgetunome]

Drive that truck on over!

*forget is ready and waiting...bending over arm of couch...with legs spread..* *Sure hope he can read my mind*

 

[Sammyjo]

Thumper...that never would have happened if you helped me. I think I'd give you a most gracious reward.

On the other hand, I've had some rather wild sexual experiences, very worthy of a letter...I'm just afraid my dad would see it.

 

[MADDOG]

How come strapping young men never come to my office to discuss any myriad of legal problems befalling them and then offer to pay the consultation fees in trade *if you know what I mean * (wink, wink, nudge nudge)??

Never...not one time. The closest I have come to even discussing sex is when we represented the man who had "relations" with his goat. His defense? It was MY goat.

If I thought for a second that you'd say yes to being paid in trade, I'd never open my wallet again!

Oh, and I would never have sex with a goat, either. (Did you get him off by the way? Um... off the charges I mean? )

MADDOG

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Here he cums ... driving down your street ...

This could be the premise for a cheesy but Oh so hot porno flick...

oh yea darling ... you can be like the Night Rider ... only you would be driving a truck instead ...

travelling from town to town selflessly assisting ladies in dire need and distress ...
_____________________
Wabbit Van Lines
"No job is too big or too small
Once Thumper has heard your call."