Dear Penis...

[KillerMuffin]

Dedicated to the men of the board

Dear Penis
I don't think I like you anymore
You used to watch me shave
Now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh Dear Penis, I don't like you anymore

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel and a dirty magazine
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things have changed
I think that you're the one to blame
Dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore

Now he sings

Dear Rodney
I don't think I like you anymore
Cause when you get to drinking
You put me places I've never been before
Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip
On our man to hand relationship
Come to terms with truly how we feel
If we put our heads together
We'd just stay home forever
Dear Penis, I think I like you after all

Oh, and Rodney, while you're shaving, shave my balls...

The Unknown Artist

 

[Chuckus]

Dedicated to the men of the board

Dear Penis
I don't think I like you anymore
You used to watch me shave
Now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh Dear Penis, I don't like you anymore

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel and a dirty magazine
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things have changed
I think that you're the one to blame
Dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore

Now he sings

Dear Rodney
I don't think I like you anymore
Cause when you get to drinking
You put me places I've never been before
Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip
On our man to hand relationship
Come to terms with truly how we feel
If we put our heads together
We'd just stay home forever
Dear Penis, I think I like you after all

Oh, and Rodney, while you're shaving, shave my balls...

The Unknown Artist

As sung by David Alan Coe, I have the file on my computer somewhere..........LOL ROFLMFAO....I thought no one else had heard that one.....

 

[forgetunome]

OMG!! ROTFLMAO!!

I haven't heard...wish that I had!!!

God that's funny!!!!

 

[Ambrosious]

What we have is an old country classic that's gained a whole new popularity. The song isn't anymore popular, but the penis is doin' real good.

Sorry. I love that line.

 

[forgetunome]

Ambrosious....

Hey...I like your title!!! How the heck are ya'!! Although I understand you penis is doing real good...oh oops....you were generalizing....sorry about that I thought you were talkin' about yours!!! LOL!

 

[Ambrosious]

SALAMI! IT'S A SALAMI! Geeesh, girls!

 

[forgetunome]

O Master...

*bowing to the ground*

Forgive me....Salami...Salami...beat me about the face and mouth with it until I get it right!

 

[Ambrosious]

There are girls...then there are GIRLS. Good morning to you. :x Mmmmmm...sweeter than strawberry wine on a warm summer's morn.

 

[forgetunome]

Good Morning to You...

*forget blows kiss to Ambrosious...Muah*

But...quickly pouts...gotta go to work today...so have a great one...I gotta run jump in the shower and get ready for work!! Shucky darn!!! *kisses*

 

[Nicole]

Please don't kill me, remember that I lost my computer for a while and I don't know if you have seen this or not.

This was on another site I go to and I wanted to share it with you.


I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed
the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

 

[Cheri]

That makes me think of this Monty Python Song:
The Penis Song (aka The Not Noel Coward Song)
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.