Dear Jehova's Witness man

[Bidin~Time]

I am sorry my dogs intimidated you with their fierce barking. I sometimes fail at making them mind their manners; assuming I try to remind them of their manners. But, you, sir, came to my home, unannounced and at an hour which those of us who work odd hours, are barely stirring. So, if it was my dogs, or the fact that i answered my door somewhat scantily clad (in a tank top and short shorts...what? It's not as though I'm a complete floozy) that made you hastily hand me "some interesting reading material" and leave, i can only suggest, your ill-mannered timing was your undoing. Good day, sir, and Merry Christmas!

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

I am sorry my dogs intimidated you with their fierce barking. I sometimes fail at making them mind their manners; assuming I try to remind them of their manners. But, you, sir, came to my home, unannounced and at an hour which those of us who work odd hours, are barely stirring. So, if it was my dogs, or the fact that i answered my door somewhat scantily clad (in a tank top and short shorts...what? It's not as though I'm a complete floozy) that made you hastily hand me "some interesting reading material" and leave, i can only suggest, your ill-mannered timing was your undoing. Good day, sir, and Merry Christmas!

You could have got some of that.

 

[Ishmael]

Why don't you just get a dog that actually bites for a change?

Hmmm, I wonder if JW's have some uniformly identifying characteristics, like smell, appearance, something you could train a dog to attack upon identification. Better yet, something you could breed for. I know for damn certain there's a HUGE market for such a dog out there.

Ishmael

 

[Bidin~Time]

Why don't you just get a dog that actually bites for a change?

Hmmm, I wonder if JW's have some uniformly identifying characteristics, like smell, appearance, something you could train a dog to attack upon identification. Better yet, something you could breed for. I know for damn certain there's a HUGE market for such a dog out there.

Ishmael

The barking is usually just good-natured oh look mom we have visitors barking. Hobes was especially irked by this man's appearance and was baring teeth and lungin at the door. Darn shame he's neutered, i might have had a gold mine there.

 

[Aquagal]

I wear that on purpose when I see the JW's walking the neighborhood. Then since I'm nice and friendly I invite them in because it's so chilly and the nips start getting all poky at the cold door. They scurry off faster that way.

 

[sufisaint]

Why don't you just get a dog that actually bites for a change?

Hmmm, I wonder if JW's have some uniformly identifying characteristics, like smell, appearance, something you could train a dog to attack upon identification. Better yet, something you could breed for. I know for damn certain there's a HUGE market for such a dog out there.

Ishmael

Male german shepherds do just fine...on all unwanted visitors.

 

[Bidin~Time]

You could have got some of that.

There ain't been enough whiskey distilled in the history of the great states of Kentucky and Tennessee combined for that mess to happen.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

There ain't been enough whiskey distilled in the history of the great states of Kentucky and Tennessee combined for that mess to happen.

You never know. It could be like having sex with a guy that just got out of the joint.

 

[cjh]

Heh.

When I finished college, we had a huge party at a friend's house in the county. Hired a band, who set up outside on a hill. Lots of kegs. Lots of loud music. We shut down about 3 am.

Next day a van full of Jehovah's Witnesses pulled up. Bodies and dead kegs strewn everywhere.

The guy who owned the property, my long-time, slightly anti-social friend opened the door to them, took a copy of The Watchtower, and told them to get the fuck off his property.

I figure none of the attendees would have made the cut for the 144,000 souls the JW version of heaven holds anyway.

 

[Bidin~Time]

I wear that on purpose when I see the JW's walking the neighborhood. Then since I'm nice and friendly I invite them in because it's so chilly and the nips start getting all poky at the cold door. They scurry off faster that way.

Confirmation! This will be my standard Saturday morning attire from now on.

Male german shepherds do tjust fine...

Hobes is GS mixed with something; parentage unknown as i found him at the shelter. But he's huge and looks GS, and apparently does not like JWs.

 

[missgreekgeek]

I once had two (young mind you, JW come to my house). I invited them in, also pretty scantily clad myself as I was just changing out of work clothes, and when they asked if I would like to hear the Word of Our Lord, I proceeded to show them pictures off of my phone asking them, "In which of these do you think I found God the most in?" And "Which of these show my devout obligation to our Lord?" and proceeded to flash my most sexiest smile.

They looked at each other, turned red barely muttered "Have a good day!" before tripping over each other, and back to their car.

I think I did the 'hood a favour cause they never came back.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Next time answer the door naked and holding the Necronomicon.

Edited to add: Don't forget the big dildo in the other hand!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I find the easiest and quickest way to get rid of JWs is to be nice to them and act interested.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Ishmael]

Heh.

When I finished college, we had a huge party at a friend's house in the county. Hired a band, who set up outside on a hill. Lots of kegs. Lots of loud music. We shut down about 3 am.

Next day a van full of Jehovah's Witnesses pulled up. Bodies and dead kegs strewn everywhere.

The guy who owned the property, my long-time, slightly anti-social friend opened the door to them, took a copy of The Watchtower, and told them to get the fuck off his property.

I figure none of the attendees would have made the cut for the 144,000 souls the JW version of heaven holds anyway.

LMAO, I had a discussion with one JW about that. I asked that if heaven filled up but someone that was a lot holier died, would God kick someone out?

I think I may have spoiled his day.

Ishmael

 

[Skiddles2014]

Why don't you just get a dog that actually bites for a change?

Hmmm, I wonder if JW's have some uniformly identifying characteristics, like smell, appearance, something you could train a dog to attack upon identification. Better yet, something you could breed for. I know for damn certain there's a HUGE market for such a dog out there.

Ishmael

Another shining example of right wing tolerance and religious oppression.

 

[about_average]

...the fact that i answered my door somewhat scantily clad (in a tank top and short shorts...what? It's not as though I'm a complete floozy)

Great, I've never thought about joining JW before.

 

[Libsam]

I've always wanted to tell a Jehovah that I don't allow false prophets to enter my home. But I don't have the balls to say that irl.