Dear Fuckhead: a rant

[cloudy]

Dear Fuckhead,

I know you can see me on the road. I'm the one driving the insanely large four-wheel-drive SUV. Yes, it's a monster, not efficient, and I hate it, but I'm driving it, just the same.

That distance between me and the car in front of me? That's for safety. You see, I cannot stop this behemoth on a dime, and I know I can't, so to be safe, I leave some distance between me and others. This does not mean that you can zip your tiny little Hyundai in there because I left that space for you.

My made-of-steel truck will not only knock your fiberglass go-mobile into the next county if I hit you, it will also crawl OVER yours, a la Monster Trucks. See those steel tow hooks on the front? Wanna see what they'll do to fiberglass like your little car is made of?

Do it again, and I won't slam on the breaks.

Dickhead.

 

[Belegon]

Good to know at least one of the women driving those things is tall enough to see over the steering wheel instead of through it...

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

There are some people who are driving only because its illegal to demolish their cars as they so richly deserve.

 

[cloudy]

I probably wouldn't mind so much if it didn't happen every single fucking time I drive the damn thing. I know how truckers feel, I swear. These little bitty cars zip in front of me, then slam on their brakes, and I'm left hanging on, just knowing I'm going to run right over the top of them.

It's a 4-wheel-drive Suburban. Its fucking HUGE. I know they see it.

 

[Edward Teach]

Dear Fuckhead,

I know you can see me on the road. I'm the one driving the insanely large four-wheel-drive SUV. Yes, it's a monster, not efficient, and I hate it, but I'm driving it, just the same.

That distance between me and the car in front of me? That's for safety. You see, I cannot stop this behemoth on a dime, and I know I can't, so to be safe, I leave some distance between me and others. This does not mean that you can zip your tiny little Hyundai in there because I left that space for you.

My made-of-steel truck will not only knock your fiberglass go-mobile into the next county if I hit you, it will also crawl OVER yours, a la Monster Trucks. See those steel tow hooks on the front? Wanna see what they'll do to fiberglass like your little car is made of?

Do it again, and I won't slam on the breaks.

Dickhead.

Glad to know there's at least one woman on the road driving an SUV who doesn't think it mandatory to ride thirteen inches from my rear bumper.

It really is scary to see them with a car load of kids in a vehicle they have no concept of how hard it is to stop or how easy it is to turn over or what damage it will do to another car or building even. Brrrr. Gives me the willies.

 

[3113]

Good to know at least one of the women driving those things is tall enough to see over the steering wheel instead of through it...

God yes! And it's good to know that at least one of them has some sense of what they're driving and how to drive it, rather than just seeing it as a status symbol. I get so sick of seeing one skinny lady with a toddler and dog in these huge vehicles. I keep wondering: "Do you really need something that big--and capable of going off-road--to go to Starbucks?" My favorite was the woman in a designer outfit who got herself, her bags of newly purchased couture and, yes, a toddler into the white Hummer the valet drove up.

Cloudy, I present you with a gold star for NOT wanting to drive that behemoth, for not having a toddler or a dog, and for actually giving a shit about other people on the road...even if they're unworthy of your very responsible nature

 

[matriarch]

Good to know at least one of the women driving those things is tall enough to see over the steering wheel instead of through it...

Careful..............you're getting close to insulting Queenie.


I agree with Cloudy whole heartedly.
I ALWAYS leave plenty of space between me and the idiots (I always assume the cars in front of me are idiots, it helps) in front of me, and yes, when on the motorways, the idiots in the inside lane do exactly the same. They think the gap is for them.

 

[R. Richard]

I agree with Cloudy whole heartedly.
I ALWAYS leave plenty of space between me and the idiots (I always assume the cars in front of me are idiots, it helps) in front of me, and yes, when on the motorways, the idiots in the inside lane do exactly the same. They think the gap is for them.

Matriarch, the assumption that the cars in front of you are idiots, is not really an asumption. In most cases it is a fact. Alas!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yes, that primal instinct to CLOSE THE GAP-- makes me nuts. When i see a car length or three in front of;

A Chinese driver (in Los Angeles, it's likely they are very new to the country)
An SUV
a Big Rig
That gap is no man's land to me.

I remember a discussion with some mom during the after-school wait;
She; I'm buying an SUV because everyone else has them and I want to be safe in an accident
Me; You'd better have damn good insurance then, because I am NOT getting an SUV, and if you hit me you'll destroy my Taurus station wagon.
She; ...

 

[Trombonus]

Cloudy, I you.

 

[cloudy]

this is what Moby looks like, only make it white, the tires bigger, and add running boards:

http://a332.g.akamai.net/f/332/936/12h/www.edmunds.com//pictures/VEHICLE/1995/Chevrolet/13522/1995.chevrolet.suburban.1891-E.jpg

I don't choose to drive this monster. I hate it. But, considering that it has air conditioning and my other car's isn't working, and it's been over 100 F every day for the last week, I don't have much choice.

 

[Belegon]

Careful..............you're getting close to insulting Queenie.

My Queen, I can't even picture you behind the wheel of an H2. You have far too much common sense.

The first time my daughter saw a yellow one, she pointed out the "school bus" to me. She wasn't far wrong.


BTW, I didn't even know Hobbits were interested in SUV's. Live and learn.
Love you, Mat!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I feel your pain. As you know I have one too.....a few years older and a foot longer.
I don't drive agressivly in that monster because I know I can crush anyone with it, but its frustrating when immortals around me forget that.
I love driving my big blue boat. I handle it very well, I can park it with ease. I just hate bad drivers in general.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I can count 4 times last week when my Highlander Hybrid narrowly averted hitting one of those zippy bastards by keeping several car lengths' distance between us. The number of zippity doo dahs around here who race around you and then slam on their brakes - with no one in front of them - is on the severe rise.

My wife often rides with me and she catches this shit sometimes on her cell phone. One time we reported it to the cops and the car turned out to be stolen.

 

[Liar]

My Queen, I can't even picture you behind the wheel of an H2. You have far too much common sense.

That, and no stlits. *ducks*

 

[MarshAlien]

Isn't driving while posting on Literotica illegal where you live? I hope at least you have one of those laptops, because even that car doesn't seem big enough for a desktop model...

 

[cloudy]

I feel your pain. As you know I have one too.....a few years older and a foot longer.
I don't drive agressivly in that monster because I know I can crush anyone with it, but its frustrating when immortals around me forget that.
I love driving my big blue boat. I handle it very well, I can park it with ease. I just hate bad drivers in general.

Yep.

We've always had trucks - my personal vehicle was a GMC Sierra Classic for years. We own horses, and I'm quite competent at pulling trailers...even the four-horse gooseneck hitched up to the dually. I know how much these trucks weigh, and how much power they have...and how fucking hard they are to stop quickly, even without a trailer hitched to it.

People in tee-niney cars scare the fuck out of me when I'm driving one of the trucks, because I'm sure that one day, I'm just gonna run right over the top of one when they slam on their brakes in front of me.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

People in tee-niney cars scare the fuck out of me when I'm driving one of the trucks, because I'm sure that one day, I'm just gonna run right over the top of one when they slam on their brakes in front of me.

There is no cure for Stupid.

 

[Belegon]

There is no cure for Stupid.

well, there is...but most places lock you up if you go around using it indiscriminately and you have to stop and buy more ammo on occasion.

I'd use the sword, but the blood spatter stains white dress shirts something awful.

 

[TxRad]

There is no cure for Stupid.

Yes there is but funeral expenses make it prohibitive for most people....

The question I've always had for Houston drivers is;

Does the lobotomy come with the car or do you have to order it separately.....

 

[rgraham666]

And some people wonder why I don't drive.

Clearing away IEDs in Iraq is safer for one thing.

 

[galaxygoddess]

My mom and I are both paranoid about motorcycles. We try to put double a car lenght behind them, just in case they loose control.

It drives us CRAZY for a motorcycle to whip in that space we leave behind vehicles. Usually, we'll have to get in another lane just to not be behind a motorcycle. Those people drive suicidial 9 times out of 10.

 

[3113]

Yes, that primal instinct to CLOSE THE GAP-- makes me nuts. When i see a car length or three in front of;

A Chinese driver (in Los Angeles, it's likely they are very new to the country)
An SUV
a Big Rig
That gap is no man's land to me.

You left out the scariest...old male drivers wearing hats. Not old men...they can be good or bad drivers. But when they're wearing hats...shudder.

 

[Belegon]

You left out the scariest...old male drivers wearing hats. Not old men...they can be good or bad drivers. But when they're wearing hats...shudder.

especially straw hats

 

[S-Des]

I had one a couple of weeks ago where this BMW was on my ass (I couldn't see his headlights in my rearview) while I was on my way to work. Twice, people in front of me turned and I hit the breaks, positive I was going to get rear-ended. Finally a spot opened up beside me, and the guy zipped around me (about 10-15 over the speed limit), so I flipped him the bird . . . actually, flipped is the wrong word, I sort of hung it out the window and left it there. He flipped back, and I figured all was well.

Of course, his daredevil driving managed to get him to a stoplight just in time to stop, where I pulled up next to him. I was amused to see him cursing and screaming at me, so I rolled down my window to see what he wanted to communicate. He let me know that he was unhappy with my gesture, so I mentioned him driving so close I could count his nosehairs. He told me I was lying and I returned his earlier compliment. Then this man (well dressed, 50-60 year old, skinny guy), told me we could pull over and "settle" it. I, being the sort who loves to share with people, agreed. Immediately this guy pulls behind me, and follows me (again very closely), until I turn into the parking lot at work (about 2 blocks). I get out of my car and he turns into the lot, then proceeds to floor it and disappear out of the other end. My best guess is that he wanted to make me think he would actually do something . . . I honestly have no idea. *shrug*