Dealing with the Neighbors...

[sheath]

Not a sexual question, sorry.

Okay. I have been dealing with some really ridiculous problems on many levels lately, but this time it comes from the neighbors. I am reaching the end of my rope when it comes to how to handle this. I'm looking for some advice.

I live in a small subdivision. The neighbors have, in the past, been generally kind and tolerant of one another, which is part of the reason I have enjoyed living here. My home is the one at the end, so it is basically in view of everyone in this little community. I know most of my neighbors and have enjoyed our friendships for quite some time.

In March, a woman moved into the house next door. She was nice enough at first, but then something changed drastically. She suddenly refused to talk with me or even acknowledge my presence. About this same time, for various reasons (none of them bad reasons!) I began dealing with quite a bit of media and journalist attention. During a conversation with another neighbor, it became clear that the 'new' neighbor...I will call her Debbie...had a problem with me because we were now, and I quote, "Different from them."



Okay. That's the background. The problem? This hatred/distrust/anger/whatever has escalated from her. A short list of problems:

*Her children riding bikes past my house, yelling obscene names at my kids, and yelling threats. Debbie refuses to acknowledge the problem or discipline her children for it.
*Complaints made to the police department that were found to be baseless, such as "harrassment" and "improper care of property", things like that.
*Complaints made to the neighborhood commission...again, baseless.
*A phone call made to Child Protective Services. I had an interview, mandatory of course, during which the worker called the allegations 'laughable' and assured me there was no basis for the interview in the first place.
*Other neighbors bluntly asking me to move because I am 'causing trouble'...even though I have lived here far longer than Debbie has...
*Being told to my face: "We don't want your kind here." (in direct reference to the fact that I write erotica for a living, and date a musician...I was told this later during that same conversation).

***

Okay...so this is harrassment, plain and simple. I admit that my life has changed quite a bit over the last several months, and I can understand that the neighbors might be uncomfortable with the sudden changes, such as dealing with media and such. But does that mean I should be asked to move? I don't think so...

I'm not sure how to handle this any longer. Thus far, I have cooperated with the authorities on every allegation, and at this point THEY are tired of Debbie's attempts to make anything stick. I have called the authorities more than once to report her children making blatant threats against mine, since Debbie will not talk with me to try and resolve the problem. (I am completely ignored...when she is not glaring at me, that is.) I have registered complaints with my neighborhood commission, during which I was advised that the neighbors would be 'much happier' if I moved on to another community! My complaints were not logged until I pushed it a second time, then the recording of the complaints was grudging at best.

The kicker? I don't want to move right now. And frankly...I have so much money invested here in this place, moving would be a seriously BAD financial move. I'm not stupid, and I'm not going to throw away a huge chunk of money over the fact that my neighbors are annoyed with me.

What can I do here? Is there any recourse? I do not want to get my attorney involved unless I absolutely have to, but I'm not sure when it is warranted in this case. All my previous neighbors were kind, and we formed respectful friendships during the time I lived there. The truth is, I have NEVER had a problem like this before...ever.

Any ideas? Anybody dealing with something similiar? When it is time to seriously get the attorneys involved? When is it appropriate to call the police, and when it is just childhood annoyances? How can I handle the fact that the neighborhood commission is tending to take sides in this issue?

Thanks for any and all advice. I appreciate it.

S.

 

[firefighter02]

I don't remember who it was that once said that "fences make the best neighbors" ..

I think that is your best advice in this situation. That and buy a camcorder and record the little bastards actually doing the yelling.

IF that doesn't work..think paintball gun

FF

 

[MystiqDrgn]

Greetings:

First: You say you live in a small subdivision. Is there a Homeowners Association. They have regulations and laws prohibiting such things. (I know because I used to write Homeowner Association Bylaws).

If the answer is yes....read the bylaws, etc and make a complaint with the President of the association.

If the answer is no, putting tacks on the pavement isnt illegal. Just make sure you don't drive over them. ~impish smile~

Second: It is harrassment and you can get a TRO. (Temporary Restraining Order). That is the first step and shows you mean business.

Third: If you are different, (aren't we all) then you have protection under the Civil Liberities Act. Build a case. Journal everything that happens. Times, dates, circumstances, etc. You have 90 days to file a complaint after the LAST act of discriminiation. So you have time Love.

Fourth: Have they threatened you in any way shape or form? Have they vandalized your property? If so, call the police and KEEP making reports.

Maliciousness and downright bigotry isnt a crime in this country. However, Harrassment, slander and Defamation of Character are punishible by Law.

If the worse case scenario happens and you feel compelled to move, if you have all the documentation you can sue for the moving expenses, etc etc etc etc.......


If you need any more advice please feel free to contact me or ask here.


Wishing you Joie,

~A~

 

[cecelia]

Unless actual physical threats are made, a victim usually has little recourse and such situations are often viewed as 'he said/she said' petty personality squabbles. I don't understand people who get their panties in a knot over something that doesn't concern them in any way but there are plenty of them out there and the stress they cause can affect your life in every way.
What about the neighbors who knew you before this bitch moved in? Have they come to support you? What about the people on this neighborhood lynch mob...whoops - I mean 'commitee'? Is she related to them or something? Obviously, she's a miserable soul with no life of her own so she's making it a point to involve herself in yours.
I would definitely keep notes as to events, dates, etc. and, if she can't let it be, consult an attorney. If she's harrassing you and your family because you are 'different' then you might have a human/civil rights claim.
I would be willing to bet that her moral judgement about 'what you do' has not prevented her from reading every word you've ever written (and probably highlighting the steamy portions). As far as the media descending on you, maybe she should complain to THEM.
My advice for the moment: Dig you heels in and consult an attorney. If it gets to the point where it's not worth it, you'll know. And if you reach the point where you feel like you have to leave, be sure to sell your house to the most unsavory type you can find.
You can always do what my uncle did to a troublemaking neighbor and stick a "Bloodworms and Live Bait For Sale" sign in her yard.
This kind of shit really pisses me off.

 

[mystic_maiden32]

they sound like a bunch of bored, petty housewives that are jealous. I have the same problems.....just document everything. If things get to extremes then contact the authorities.
And there is revenge.com!

 

[assister49]

Sounds as though her biggest problem is sex. Apparently she found out that you write erotica, and things have been going down hill from there (only thing I saw in your description that was an actual "event"). Perhaps she spied you making love your your bf through an open drape and got offended. We had a similar experience. Resulted in the guy cutting down a bunch of our trees (now that really doesn't make sense...).
Who knows - nosy, creepy neighbors go to great lengths to 'find things wrong'. Talking to them in a rational way rarely works. Most importantly is the affect this may be having on your kids. Not knowing how old/mature they are, they may blame themselves for the harrassment. Be sure they understand the situation and what you are trying to remedy it. Let them see you take the high road, as opposed to stooping to her level.
It really is her, not you, that should move - but if you come to find out that ALL of your neighbors feel the same way as she does (and just never told you before) you might be happier in a more tolerant area.
Sorry for your troubles - I feel for you. Good luck.

 

[Jezebelle1458]

i feel for you.cant give you much advise except to say hang in there...there will always be petty little people with closed sterile minds who think the world should be just like them....bitter.

 

[ChromeCollar]

Sheath, how about slapping a restraining order on them? If you have documentation via police reports that they have been hounding you, it should be no problem for you to get one.

And if they choose to break that, I am sure after a few appearances in the courthouse, she'll put a muzzle on her kids and herself. Sounds like you need to just wait it out. People like that enjoy making others as miserable as they are. Once she sees that you arent going to give in, maybe she'll up and move on.

You've been there a while, its your home. Dont let anyone try to tell you different. The law should be on your side in this. Check with a clerk of courts in your local courthouse or something about the district rules of a Restraining Order. The temp ones can last up to a year, and then you can file again for a new one if the problem is persistant.

I am so sorry you are enduring this. You are to sweet and wonderful a person to have such agression directed towards you. May it go away soon.

 

[Jezebelle1458]

ChromeC is right Sheath.it is your home,dont let her closed little mind change who you are.and dont let her chase you from your home.try what she suggested and let us know how it goes.

 

[Mary Hall]

They don`t like you cuz you write erotic stories? Some people need to get fucking lives and stop acting like cunts to people for no reason

 

[intrigued]

What you are going through, I couldn't handle for more than a week or two. I'm an extremely private, secluded type person when it comes to my home, I would've been long gone by now. I'm for living as secluded as possible, because I can't stand people being privy to what I do in my own yard or home, much less being a sideshow.

Sometimes, you just have to decide that "whether it's right or wrong" just isn't worth it. You and your childrens mental/emotional well being is far more important than being right.
Is it really that special a place for you to live, since I sense things are gonna get worse before they get better? Is it worth it?

Find peace, sweets.

 

[Wizard]

Not a sexual question, sorry.

About this same time, for various reasons (none of them bad reasons!) I began dealing with quite a bit of media and journalist attention.




*Being told to my face: "We don't want your kind here." (in direct reference to the fact that I write erotica for a living, and date a musician...I was told this later during that same conversation).

***





How did the media find out? where they there becuse of your writing and why? Did she call them?

 

[Zonny]

They don`t like you cuz you write erotic stories? Some people need to get fucking lives and stop acting like cunts to people for no reason

The poster lives in Nashville. It may be a trendy showbiz city, but it's still in the Bible belt. The behavior of the people involved doesn't surprise me at all. It's even worse where I live.

Still, you shouldn't have to take it.

 

[sheath]

Thank you for all the replies! Let me try to answer the questions...if I miss one, let me know.

*Is there a Homeowner's Association?* Yes, there is an Association. When I complained to them, I was told it was entirely a "legal matter" and I should contact the police. I was also threatened by the director of the association, telling me that one more complaint from the neighbors would result in 'authorites being involved' and 'child protective services getting a call' and the fact that she would 'drive through there myself and see that you aren't doing anything wrong' (yeah, I know, insane)...though MY complaints were overlooked and I was told it was a legal matter???

*Have you been threatened in any way?* I have been threatened, yes. The neighbor and the neighbor's children have informed me more than once that "We will do whatever it takes to get your kids taken away from you", and the result of that was the phone call they placed to Child Protective Services...which of course, the worker found charges 'laughable' and the case has since been closed. My children hear threats from HER children all the time, things like, "I'm going to hurt you", "I'm going to steal your toys", "You will live with strangers because your mommy is a horrible person"...*sigh* Things like that. There has been NO vandalism or destruction of property.

I have considered a restraining order, but it would mean filing it against not only my neighbor, but her children (she has seven of them) and possibly others. I didn't consider the ACLU as a route of defense until I read it here in a post. I guess I don't see "Being a writer" as being different, no matter what the content of the books I write, you know? But I suppose in the "Bible Belt", as zonny mentioned, it just might be different enough to warrant a discrimination suit.

*Have the neighbors supported you?* At first, the neighbors were very kind and friendly. Then she moved in and started her shit, and I think rather than get in the middle of it, the neighbors have just hunkered down and become quiet. Once the media attention began, many of the neighbors treated me differently anyway, so I'm not surprised to get little support from that quarter. Although, there are a few who have said, "You have done nothing wrong, what the hell is she thinking?"

*Is it worth it to go after the right/wrong question?* Wow. Well...Yes. My children are well aware of what I do and they are also aware that what I do can cause friction between us and those who don't agree with it. I have always taught them to hold onto what they believe is right and NOT back down, under any circumstances. If I back down and move out, that is going against everything I believe in. There is something to be said for choosing your battles wisely...but in this case, the battle is not being fought over a location or a problem I have caused, but over an attitude of moral superiority. In my opinion, that deserves one hell of a good fight.

*How did the media find out?* Good question. No, the neighbors had nothing to do with it. I considered not mentioning that part but since it is the only thing in my life that has changed drastically recently, I thought it might be pertinent to the situation.

I've always written about the Nashville music industry, and so whenever a new book is released I've been interviewed, on television, things like that. So that part of it isn't a big deal, and my neighbors knew I was a writer, so that wasn't a big deal either. Lately, it has been worse than before...I've been dating a musician who has seen a measure of popularity as of late, and the media/fan attention stemming from that simple fact has been enormous. It has thrown a spotlight on me and my work and my relationships that has brought the usual tabloid hell...the photographers, reporters, etc. It isn't as though my home is swamped with them, but they are present at times, and that is unusual for this neighborhood.

***

I agree, it isn't about anything I have done wrong, because I did NOTHING to spark this kind of anger from them. I agree it is probably due to what I do for a living. Like I said earlier, I have never had to deal with this before, so this hits me out of the blue, really. I don't understand how the neighbors can treat me different NOW than they did earlier. Surely they aren't like herd animals, just following the outspoken leader? Or maybe I give them too much credit...?

Okay...more questions...

If her calls to the police continue, and they continue to find the complaints baseless, doesn't that throw suspicion on HER, and possibly get her into trouble for filing false reports?

Are those repeated calls to Child Protective Services and the police department considered defamation of character? Slander? Harrassment?

Is being ignored by the Homeowner's Association, while other complaints are filed, a basis for a suit?

I do intend to consult an attorney about this first thing Monday morning, and I also intend to contact Child Protective Services regarding the fact that the neighbor's children have no discipline concerning this, despite the fact that the police have told her more than once to keep them under control. I am journaling everything, and keeping all complaints in writing, with copies to a witness, my attorney and to the association.

I also intend to contact the ACLU first thing in the morning.

Thank you so much for your help thus far.

S.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

Are those repeated calls to Child Protective Services and the police department considered defamation of character? Slander? Harrassment?

I know for a fact that slander is "an oral defamation of one's reputation or good name."

I'm going to quote from my Business Law textbook:

Defamation of character involves wrongfully hurting a person's good reputation. The law has imposed a general duty on all persons to refrain from making false, defamatory statements about others. Breaching this duty orally involves the tort of slander... ["tort" means "you're at fault"]

The common law defines four types of false utterances that are considered torts per se (meaning no proof of injury or harm is required for these false utterances to be actionable):

1. A statement that another has a loathsome communicable disease.
2. A statement that another has commited improprieties while engaging in a professional trade.
3. A statement that another has committed or has been imprisoned for a serious crime.
4. A statement that an unmarried woman in unchaste.

In order for slander to occur, someone has to hear it. I don't think proving that will be a problem. Debbie's been very vocal.

#4 may apply to your case depending on what Debbie told Child Protective Services.

If Debbie is repeatedly calling CPS and the police, then I think that constitutes "making false, defamatory statements about others." Proof of injury (in the event of a lawsuit) can include, but isn't limited to, emotional distress for you and your children, time expended to clear the charges, and the strain this has placed on your relationships with your neighbors and your HOA.

I hope that helps.

 

[sheath]

#4 may apply to your case depending on what Debbie told Child Protective Services.

If Debbie is repeatedly calling CPS and the police, then I think that constitutes "making false, defamatory statements about others." Proof of injury (in the event of a lawsuit) can include, but isn't limited to, emotional distress for you and your children, time expended to clear the charges, and the strain this has placed on your relationships with your neighbors and your HOA.

I hope that helps.

Okay...wow. Thanks for that list!

The first three do not apply, at all. The fourth one might. Debbie reported to the CPS many things that were utterly ridiculous, such as "her children are allowed to play outside at night, unsupervised". Ridiculous accusations, and determined to be completely baseless. However, she did also complain that "The children are being brought up in a very un-Christian home by a mother who refuses to attend church of any kind and who writes about sex for money."

I have also recently discovered that the director of the HOA sent similar complaints to the CPS in regard to my profession, as if writing about sex questions my ability to raise my children, and as if writing about sex automatically makes me the slut of the county.

I'm wondering if those complaints would qualify. After doing some research today, I'm sure the ACLU would be quite interested in them, however.

Thanks for the advice. Every little bit helps!

S.

 

[MystiqDrgn]

I know for a fact that slander is "an oral defamation of one's reputation or good name."

I'm going to quote from my Business Law textbook:



In order for slander to occur, someone has to hear it. I don't think proving that will be a problem. Debbie's been very vocal.

#4 may apply to your case depending on what Debbie told Child Protective Services.

If Debbie is repeatedly calling CPS and the police, then I think that constitutes "making false, defamatory statements about others." Proof of injury (in the event of a lawsuit) can include, but isn't limited to, emotional distress for you and your children, time expended to clear the charges, and the strain this has placed on your relationships with your neighbors and your HOA.

I hope that helps.

You also have to look at case law. While the accurate definition is there, some courts will throw it out because....they have a golf date. Or because they have ruled differently. Each case has its merrits. Just food for thought.

joie to all

~A~

 

[warrior queen]

sheath darling....

i went through something very similar, as did my children

i lived in the street from HELL - the neighbours were all nice and lovey if they needed help, but the second they didn't they became monsters (and worse, they involved their children in the name-calling and destructive behaviours).

my house was in the end corner of the cul-de-sac, and i had a sort of private driveway access.... my nasty neighbours would park cars in front of it, so that i couldn't get out and my kids would be late for school and we'd be late for work.

my kids were threatened constantly by the older ones in the street, and a few times were injured.

there were many, many instances of shouting, yelling and namecalling at us adults and at the kids, but like you, I refused to become involved at any level close to theirs.
did it stop?
no, it escalated - when they got no response, they lifted the whole thing another notch!

why was it happening?
because the family who lived there hated the fact that i had 2 boys. (she had tried 5 times and only had daughters!)
that was it - the sole reason.
not once did they ever go after my daughter - because she was a girl.
they'd rather terrorise my 4 year old younger son, and their girls used to beat up my 8 year old on the way to and from school (it got so i couldn't let him out into our front yard without sitting there with him.)

i could not leave for a few years, because here in Oz, we have a thingy that says you HAVE to live in your new house for a certain time frame before you can rent it out or sell it, or you get penalised BIG TIME financially.

and we were broke.

the second that time frame was up, our house went on the market, and we left 3 days after it sold.
sure, we still lost out a bit on the price, but it has been sooooooo worth it!
my kids are no longer afraid or traumatised, and i live in peace.

but when i moved, i moved clear accross the country!
3 and a half thousand km's away!

and it has been worth it - my kids are happy here, and more importantly, they feel safe.

sometimes, these things do not settle down, no matter what you do, and then it's time to just cut and leave.
life is way too short to spend it putting up with other peoples shit.

be safe

 

[Jezebelle1458]

petty little people have petty little minds. best of luck to you Sheath

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

have you considered writing a long letter to your neighbors, something heartfelt, and I would recomend a touch of what being a "Good Christian" constitutes.. including why you have enjoyed living there in the past, and what life is like today for you and your children.. making this your last attempt to play fair..

could reach a few of the senseless mindless hearts envolved, I would as well send a copy to the association.

a nice letter letting them know, where you stand and how you feel about whats happing to your once friendly neighborhood, making sure that they understand what instilling prejudice in our children could be harmful to them in the long run...

and in the mean time I would contact whatever athorities I need to just to be sure iam keeping all my ducks in a row... with any amount of luck you won't need them, since usually shallow minded people dont do well with confontration of there own faults.

Good luck to you, I know how hard this is to deal with on a daily basis, I doubt I could handle it as tactfully as you seem to be!

 

[sheath]

sheath darling....

i went through something very similar, as did my children

i lived in the street from HELL - the neighbours were all nice and lovey if they needed help, but the second they didn't they became monsters (and worse, they involved their children in the name-calling and destructive behaviours).

my house was in the end corner of the cul-de-sac, and i had a sort of private driveway access.... my nasty neighbours would park cars in front of it, so that i couldn't get out and my kids would be late for school and we'd be late for work.

my kids were threatened constantly by the older ones in the street, and a few times were injured.

there were many, many instances of shouting, yelling and namecalling at us adults and at the kids, but like you, I refused to become involved at any level close to theirs.
did it stop?
no, it escalated - when they got no response, they lifted the whole thing another notch!

why was it happening?
because the family who lived there hated the fact that i had 2 boys. (she had tried 5 times and only had daughters!)
that was it - the sole reason.
not once did they ever go after my daughter - because she was a girl.
they'd rather terrorise my 4 year old younger son, and their girls used to beat up my 8 year old on the way to and from school (it got so i couldn't let him out into our front yard without sitting there with him.)

i could not leave for a few years, because here in Oz, we have a thingy that says you HAVE to live in your new house for a certain time frame before you can rent it out or sell it, or you get penalised BIG TIME financially.

and we were broke.

the second that time frame was up, our house went on the market, and we left 3 days after it sold.
sure, we still lost out a bit on the price, but it has been sooooooo worth it!
my kids are no longer afraid or traumatised, and i live in peace.

but when i moved, i moved clear accross the country!
3 and a half thousand km's away!

and it has been worth it - my kids are happy here, and more importantly, they feel safe.

sometimes, these things do not settle down, no matter what you do, and then it's time to just cut and leave.
life is way too short to spend it putting up with other peoples shit.

be safe

This sounds amazingly like what is happening here. Even the position of your house and the 'parking' shit they have pulled.

There are reasons why I hate to move. Just a few: My son is in an Academy here that was very difficult to get him into, and he loves it. I live just far enough outside of Nashville that I get to avoid the major industry hassles, yet I live in an area that is rampant with professional studios...so I can still work on songs and books, yet not deal with the hard-core Nashville mentality. This is the same town my ex-husband lives in, and I like that he has such unlimited access to the children that way. Most people in this town are used to having 'high profile' residents, so someone who simply writes books doesn't even warrant a raised eyebrow...usually. In five years, I haven't had a single problem until now. There are so many reasons this place is perfect for us...with the exception of the witch and her little harem down the street.

That is beside the point, I know...but I think it illustrates that I love living here, and why in the world would I do anything that would annoy a neighbor and possibly jeopardize that happiness? It's like your case, warrior queen...you did nothing wrong, but the neighbors hated you regardless, just because they were...what...jealous? It just BURNS me up to watch this happen, simply because someone doesn't agree with what I do for a living. I WRITE, for fuck's sake! I'm a writer! It's a pretty benign job, is it not???

What in the world would she do to me if I were, say, a stripper? I hate to even consider what life would be like then...

*sigh* I guess I'm saying that the benefits outweigh the negatives, but damned if those negatives aren't driving me up the ever-lovin' wall!

The children do get a break from it quite often. I have been sending them on vacations lately, far away from here, and when the school year begins we will be spending weekends at another property I own in another county, so the problem will surely taper off during the school season?

Shit. I'm rambling, because the more I think about this, the more absolutely ridiculous it seems. And warrior queen, you post just drove home how absolutely CHILDISH people can be!

I'm glad you are happy where you are now.

S.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Sheath, I can't really give you any advice but I wanted you to know how sorry I am you are dealing with stupid crap like this. To be honest, it's one of the main reasons I haven't pursued trying to get published. I too live in TN, in a more rural area, and worry about what would happen if it got out that I wrote erotica (my parents would likely disown me.)

I hope you get some good answers from your attorney and the ACLU.

 

[sheath]

Sheath, I can't really give you any advice but I wanted you to know how sorry I am you are dealing with stupid crap like this. To be honest, it's one of the main reasons I haven't pursued trying to get published. I too live in TN, in a more rural area, and worry about what would happen if it got out that I wrote erotica (my parents would likely disown me.)

I hope you get some good answers from your attorney and the ACLU.

Thanks. Good to see a fellow Tennessean here!

You know...it's worth it. Being published, writing those books? It is worth every bit of it. Sometimes it does feel as though the whole world just wishes I would go away, and especially here in Tennessee, I get the feeling that many equate 'erotica writer' with 'most immoral person on the planet'.

But...at the end of the day, the fans of my work make it worthwhile. Knowing there is one life out there being touched by my writing is worth every last minute, no matter how hard it gets sometimes.

Now, if the neighbors would just drop off the face of the earth (cause don't you know, the world IS flat!), then life would be rosy.

S.

 

[Felt Tip]

"The children are being brought up in a very un-Christian home by a mother who refuses to attend church of any kind..."

Jesus! (Heh. Pun not intended) I just struggle to understand how people can be so... I can't find the words.

Surely that at least has to make the basis for some sort of discrimination action ?
The law seems limited in what it can do in such cases, but it seems more protective against such forms of class discrimination.
I took a law degree in the UK, so the specifics I've learned won't be too relevant, but I'm sure that gives you a foundation to build some kind of legal action, even if the law is weaker regarding more harmful mistreatment.


When people do things like this it really reinforces my longing to just get away from everyone. I have to keep reminding myself that they're in a minority.

I know it's not anything remotely on the same scale, but so often here you go out in an evening just for a few drinks, a dance, just a good-natured time, and there are people basically out looking for a fight, who'll insult and abuse you, make you soak up so much crap if you're not willing to be dragged to their level. It's utterly disspiriting, seeing your self-respect erroded as you just take it.



I con't offer you much advice, but:

Keep a record of *all* incidents - dates, times and actions. If you make complaints about general mistreatment it'll be hard for whoever to know how serious it is, and this may go dismissed as a pettie squabble. If you have a list of everything that's happened, they'll understand your situation better, and give it the attention it deserves.

Don't stoop to their level - if you're going to take legal action (or similar) you'll need the moral high ground. If you're drawn into her game, then the authorities will see both sides as bad as each other.
If they're to offer you a remedy, you need to clearly be the one in the right.

Talk to your other neighbours, they're likely to be more reasonable than this woman (and you got on well with them before..) - explain to them what this is like for you, they should soon see sense and be on your side.
I'd wager this woman is a judgemental, bullying coward. Such people 'need' to feel the support of others - they see it as giving them credibility in their judgements and actions. If that is taken away, while she may still hate you with vitriol, she'll at least be less likely to do anything about it. And maybe even become shamed into doing something about her kids.


Also, you don't want to give up your property, but perhaps you could lease it, and take another property in the general area, but a comfortable distance from this woman.



Whatever happens I hope it works out for you. Good luck.
Don't give up on the human race - a few under-evolved assholes don't represent the lot of us

 

[TXappeal]

Sheath

"I have considered a restraining order, but it would mean filing it against not only my neighbor..."

like above you are going nowhere.

one: try to document what is going on: audio video recording outside your house to get what their children and her are doing, all the documentation from police, homeowner's association, CPS, etc.

two: get a good lawer

three: take no prisoners