Dealing with submissive frenzy

[AmethystMelange]

I'm a sub in a monogamous LTR with a partner whom I enjoy bedroom D/s (not 24/7) with. Occasionally, I get periods when I have an almost unquenchable and all-consuming desire for BDSM. As in, I could have had an intense scene the day before, and the next day despite aching all over from the previous scene, I start to crave it again to the point where it takes a huge effort to concentrate on other areas of life. It's as if I'm somewhat addicted to the euphoria of subspace, I guess, although I also feel an intense desire for bondage, nipple play and submission specifically.

When this coincides with a good time for my partner to play, that's all well and good. We go at it like bunnies for a week or so and then the frenzy subsides. But real life happens and we have other responsibilities. So sometimes it coincides with a bad time for my partner - a difficult time at work where he has to work long hours and put most of his focus there. Evidently, responsibilities need to come before play, so while we still make time for kink every few days or so, in between the sessions I need to handle it myself.

I get that there are plenty of articles written about how to cope with sub frenzy, but most of them seem to be directed at single subs or subs in open relationships (like "get a safe and trusted Dom in the community to play with you"). Obviously, those are out of the question in my case. I have already taken on board the relevant suggestions from those articles like educating oneself, etc.

What I currently do otherwise:
- Try and find satisfaction in offering service-based, non-sexual submission when he's at home. Everyone likes to be brought a beverage and be given a massage, even if they have no energy or time to actively Dom.
- Do a bit of self-play when he is putting in long hours at work - not anywhere near as good as the real thing, but better than nothing
- Just try and focus on work and hobbies and tide it over - from experience, the crazy urge subsides with time to a much more reasonable simmer, plus his work obligations will get better soon

Any other tips from subs who've been there - either in a LTR where it wasn't a good time for their partner, or long distance when they couldn't see their partner, or just didn't have a Dom available at that time? How did you cope?

 

[SissySalina]

You may be able to find some light self BDSM which could hold you over for a short term.

 

[LibraStud]

I'm a sub in a monogamous LTR with a partner whom I enjoy bedroom D/s (not 24/7) with. Occasionally, I get periods when I have an almost unquenchable and all-consuming desire for BDSM. As in, I could have had an intense scene the day before, and the next day despite aching all over from the previous scene, I start to crave it again to the point where it takes a huge effort to concentrate on other areas of life. It's as if I'm somewhat addicted to the euphoria of subspace, I guess, although I also feel an intense desire for bondage, nipple play and submission specifically.

When this coincides with a good time for my partner to play, that's all well and good. We go at it like bunnies for a week or so and then the frenzy subsides. But real life happens and we have other responsibilities. So sometimes it coincides with a bad time for my partner - a difficult time at work where he has to work long hours and put most of his focus there. Evidently, responsibilities need to come before play, so while we still make time for kink every few days or so, in between the sessions I need to handle it myself.

I get that there are plenty of articles written about how to cope with sub frenzy, but most of them seem to be directed at single subs or subs in open relationships (like "get a safe and trusted Dom in the community to play with you"). Obviously, those are out of the question in my case. I have already taken on board the relevant suggestions from those articles like educating oneself, etc.

What I currently do otherwise:
- Try and find satisfaction in offering service-based, non-sexual submission when he's at home. Everyone likes to be brought a beverage and be given a massage, even if they have no energy or time to actively Dom.
- Do a bit of self-play when he is putting in long hours at work - not anywhere near as good as the real thing, but better than nothing
- Just try and focus on work and hobbies and tide it over - from experience, the crazy urge subsides with time to a much more reasonable simmer, plus his work obligations will get better soon

Any other tips from subs who've been there - either in a LTR where it wasn't a good time for their partner, or long distance when they couldn't see their partner, or just didn't have a Dom available at that time? How did you cope?

I have a suggestion for you to deal with your submissive frenzy. If you turn on your PM's, I will send it to you privately. Otherwise, update your biography to include your email address and I will message you there (you cannot publish your email in a post). I prefer to share my thoughts with you privately.

 

[cascadiabound]

Excerpted from the advice to newcomers thread...
Tryn2Bgood reflects a rather more generous spirit and less cynicism than is typical on this board about people who make comments on threads and suggest they only want to talk to you privately. I would suggest that the more typical wisdom on the board is that if advice cannot be given publicly you probably do not want it. But - both perspectives are worth while, which is why I quoted her here.
I added Bold below for emphasis.
cb

.... I disagree with the outlook that PMs from people are less credible than public posts. It certainly does help to be able to read previous posts from someone to get an idea of their personality, viewpoints, or intentions on this site, but not everyone is comfortable putting their voice out there to be judged or criticized by others. That doesn't mean they don't have a valid opinion or helpful advice from a similar experience. You can usually tell the BS PM's from the sincere ones. It's easy to delete the ones you don't want to respond to, but okay to consider the ones that seem genuine.

The last advice I would give is to use common sense when you can. Don't give out personal information. Don't be too quick to trust someone. Think before you post anything you might regret. Read through the boards and other resources to gain some perspective. Take all advice given with a grain of salt. No one is an expert...almost all comments are only opinions. Sometimes there is no clear cut answers or easy solutions to advice you seek. And mostly, try to enjoy your time here...interact when you feel comfortable or sit on the sidelines and watch the show. It can be entertaining! ☺