Dealing with prejudice?

[Pellias]

One of those days, one of those idiots.

Got the flu, and left work early. Now some guy followed me from the trainstation and almost to my apartment, yelling all kind of names - some of them I can´t even translate to english, regarding my sexuality.

I don´t really think this has happend to me before. I wish I could say that I stood up in any way, but I just wanted to get home and not get beaten up/ or just puke becuase of the flu. Not really filled with gay pride right now. Just tired.

I wish I had wit. Or a baseballbat.

How do you deal with things like this - prejudice that is - not the flu. The latter I´ll just sleep off.

 

[sexy-girl]

i think you mostly have to sleep it off too and try and not let it ruin your night

i haven't had to deal with it quite like that but we've been shouted at sometimes


these people aren't worth it though ... you can't educate them or teach them a lesson ... just be happy in the knowledge that their lives are so sad, pointless and devoid of happiness that they waste their time yelling abuse and must get some kind of satisfaction out of it that they can't get elsewhere



be careful though these things can turn violent

 

[ravenmx]

Most of the time it isn't worth it to say anything and just keep walking or leave the situation.

I have seen many of these situations escalate to violence as sexy-girl pointed out. Mostly outside gay bars with drinking involved but all the same.

I am at the point where I am happy with my sexuality and don't really care what people say, think or do and when it happens I usually just smile and walk away and don't give it another thought. This has kept me happy and violent free.

 

[glamorilla]

i dunno. i've been in just about every kind of cliche situation you can think of. it would take pages to relate some of these experiences. sometimes i use humor, sometimes i try to look the other way,if i'm physically threatened i defend myself.

i never really realized how much is still out there lately. i just moved out of east greenwhich village where ive lived for the past 17 years. i'm in a much straighter neighborhood now and if i had a buck everytime i heard someone use the word fag as an insult i'd have free rent.

once on my way home to visit my parents..it was years ago and they were still alive i used to take a commuter bus to jersey. it was late and only one other man was waiting on the platform speaking to whom i assume was his wife. i was leaning up against the wall reading with my walkman on when as the song was fading i distinctly heard him say "no its just me and some other fag here". i just jerked my head to his direction,our eyes met and he obviously understood i heard what he said and rather than be at least apologetic he copped an attitude with me which continued after he hung the phone up and began to start with me. he was obviously kind of buzzed. i tried to keep things copacetic and as he began to swing at me the only thing running through my mind as i proceeded to very easily hand him his ass right back to him was "why the hell would you pick on a 235 pound greek man in black leather?".

i don't condone violence~but it was a liberating experience for me.

something like that will never happen again.

 

[Never]

I've had my ass handed to me a few times. I hate the world for a long time but I always get over it.

 

[kbate]

Assuming that Gunplay is frowned upon in your neighborhood, and additionally assuming you are not a 225 pound greek male in black leather capable of pounding gay bashers back into the primal shitpile they spawned from, there is little you can actually do in such a situation.

I reach for my cell phone when I feel threatened, the mere possibility of a police confrontation usually prevents any escalation.

 

[Queersetti]

One of those days, one of those idiots.

Got the flu, and left work early. Now some guy followed me from the trainstation and almost to my apartment, yelling all kind of names - some of them I can´t even translate to english, regarding my sexuality.

I don´t really think this has happend to me before. I wish I could say that I stood up in any way, but I just wanted to get home and not get beaten up/ or just puke becuase of the flu. Not really filled with gay pride right now. Just tired.

I wish I had wit. Or a baseballbat.

How do you deal with things like this - prejudice that is - not the flu. The latter I´ll just sleep off.

It's nice to imagine doing something to deal with a person like that, but the important thing is that you arrived home safely.

 

[College_geek]

I've had my share of insults placed on me before, but I don't think that they would even come close to something of that caliber. I would probably go with everyone else and try to keep calm and collected. I would be afraid that it would get out of hand; I hate reading articles on people getting injured or even killed by such hate. It's a shame.

 

[Pellias]

Thank you all. You really are the best.

Do not worry. I´m not violent. I´m just feeling stupid because I let it get under my skin like that. He wanted me to be afraid , and I was.

As soon as the flu has passed, I´ll go drinking and get laid.

 

[Netzach]

i dunno. i've been in just about every kind of cliche situation you can think of. it would take pages to relate some of these experiences. sometimes i use humor, sometimes i try to look the other way,if i'm physically threatened i defend myself.

i never really realized how much is still out there lately. i just moved out of east greenwhich village where ive lived for the past 17 years. i'm in a much straighter neighborhood now and if i had a buck everytime i heard someone use the word fag as an insult i'd have free rent.

once on my way home to visit my parents..it was years ago and they were still alive i used to take a commuter bus to jersey. it was late and only one other man was waiting on the platform speaking to whom i assume was his wife. i was leaning up against the wall reading with my walkman on when as the song was fading i distinctly heard him say "no its just me and some other fag here". i just jerked my head to his direction,our eyes met and he obviously understood i heard what he said and rather than be at least apologetic he copped an attitude with me which continued after he hung the phone up and began to start with me. he was obviously kind of buzzed. i tried to keep things copacetic and as he began to swing at me the only thing running through my mind as i proceeded to very easily hand him his ass right back to him was "why the hell would you pick on a 235 pound greek man in black leather?".

i don't condone violence~but it was a liberating experience for me.

something like that will never happen again.

I don't condone violence either, but I've seen this in action myself, and I think it's critical that we use self defense when warranted.

Some drunk guy at stonewall 25 started taking swings at these 3 guys on 57th street. They may have been wearing hot pants, but these guys were really buff--and they were happy to swing back. Do straight men really think every gay guy is some passive casper limp wrist who's going to just throw up his hands or fake bitchslap? Probably a lot do.

My adrenaline was up and I came very close to tripping the would-be basher as the three buff guys had him on the run. I still think I should have.

 

[glamorilla]

who am i kidding?

i LOVED it!

theres a couple of old guys i pass by when i get off the subway every day. i consider them urban equivalents of porch monkeys. theyre always in the same spot rain or shine everyday drinking thier coffee gossiping like a couple of old queens when one day walking past them on my way home one of them had the nerve to say to the other "theres a faggot" in spanish so now everyday on my walk home when i pass them by i stare them right in the eye, i wink and i blow them a kiss.

 

[Regis2001]

Maybe I have a very polite breed of homophobe in my neck of the woods, but I can't say I've ever been threatened with violence. I have been accosted before, but I generally just answer their questions politely, acknowledge any insults (while I don't like the word 'queer' when used in that way, it's better not letting it bug you) and if all else fails, flirt until they go away. With all except the real hard cases, just being confident and non-provocative often works wonders.

Or you could just pretend not to hear them and keep on walking. I've had some success with that method before.

 

[glamorilla]

when i was in high school at a keg party a select group of friends i had grown up with decided that i was indeed a homosexual. one guy came up behind me and crouched down behind my legs so another could push me over easily and when they did about aq half a dozen guys proceeded to kick me in the face and guts for a few hours.

 

[Regis2001]

when i was in high school at a keg party a select group of friends i had grown up with decided that i was indeed a homosexual. one guy came up behind me and crouched down behind my legs so another could push me over easily and when they did about aq half a dozen guys proceeded to kick me in the face and guts for a few hours.

Woah.

That's... bad.

I'd say more, but I can't think of words to do it justice. A few hours? I hope you're exaggerating. If you aren't, I hope the hospital treated you well and the police were helpful.

 

[glamorilla]

no.

they all got away with it and what this did was open the door for more crap. i was getting routinely attacked, my parents house was vandelized,both my school and gym locker were vandelized as well,my mother was getting nasty crank calls in the middle of thie night and finally mom and pop got fed up with it,packed me up and sent me off to live with my sister.

 

[Regis2001]

no.

they all got away with it and what this did was open the door for more crap. i was getting routinely attacked, my parents house was vandelized,both my school and gym locker were vandelized as well,my mother was getting nasty crank calls in the middle of thie night and finally mom and pop got fed up with it,packed me up and sent me off to live with my sister.

Shit.

I think that about sums it up.

 

[glamorilla]

i got even by running away to new york city to become one of the youngest persons to ever work in american haute couture.

 

[Regis2001]

i got even by running away to new york city to become one of the youngest persons to ever work in american haute couture.

Well, at least there was a happy... not ending. A happy middle, perhaps.

 

[glamorilla]

i wouldn't change a thing.

 

[Regis2001]

Adversity is crappy while it's happening, but if it doesn't break us down it just makes us stronger.

This, incidentally, is one of very few times when that saying is valid.

 

[glamorilla]

well that and once i broke free of an antagonistic homophobic enviroment i totally blossomed, discovered i was sexy and could pretty much get any man to do anything i want by making puppy dog eyes.

 

[Regis2001]

It's a wonderful realisation, the puppy eyes thing. With so many useful applications!

 

[glamorilla]

plus the sex!

 

[Regis2001]

Gah! Always with the sex, man! Do you have a one-track mind? It is possible to go for more than ten seconds without thinking about sex, y'know! Listen: one, two, three, four, cock, six, seven...

Dammit!

 

[glamorilla]

i spent 16 hours this week alone sucking cock so far.