Dealing with homophobic females

[Samuelx]

Yesterday, I went to Boston to hang. I was there with my buddies Danny and Nick. We had some fun. As it got dark, I took the train home.




As I sat there, I saw a bunch of high school-age black and Hispanic girls come in. They started making fun of two white boys who sat together opposite from me. They were calling them "fags" and stuff. I got mad. So mad I felt like I could hurt somebody. I stared at them intently, wishing one of them would say something to me, and I would have let them have it. Nope. They made fun of the boys until the boys left the train. After that, things got quieter. I felt so mad at these little bitches. I found myself wishing they'd have a disfiguring accident or something. I HATE homophobes. I don't care if they got a dick or a pussy.



When I told the story to my pal James, he advised me to calm down. Acting on my angry impulses last night would probably have gotten me in trouble but I almost feel like it would have been worth it to shut those bitches up. Some people just piss me off, man.


As for the boys, they looked alright. One was blond, the other had dark hair. I felt so bad for them. I also felt a bit ashamed of myself. I'm always raging on campus about men's rights yet this thing took place right in front of me and I wasn't sure what to do. I keep running it through my head. I've had to get physical with violent women before, so it's not the gender of the homophobes that stopped me. Is it their color ? Nope. I don't know what did.





Had they attacked the boys physically ( as I almost wished they did, it would have given me an excuse to take them down), things would have gone different. I don't care what gender you are, attacking gay people just for being gay is considered a Hate Crime. Gee, in a case involving females attacking gay males, I wonder whom the pro-feminist justice system of Massachusetts would side with. Anyway, I'm glad nobody got hurt. These things tend to escalate sometimes.



This is not the first time I've ran into stupid homophobes. Some dark part of me wishes they would say something stupid and anti-gay in an alley, with no cops around, then I would MESS them up. Seriously, man.
They piss me off.


Anyhow, I just thought I'd share this.

 

[silverwhisper]

depending on the number, you could cut 'em down to size w/ a sufficiently sharply-barbed observation. if that's a bit too assertive, you and your friends could have silently gone to sit with them.

ed

 

[Samuelx]

Uh, I was alone on the train with them and the two boys. My friends were still in the city and I was headed home.

 

[silverwhisper]

beg pardon: i obviously misread.

how many of 'em were there? do you recall offhand?

ed

 

[Samuelx]

about 5 or 6. why ?

 

[Xelebes]

A sharp, barbed observation would have sufficed with a menacing glare.

 

[Samuelx]

I'll remember that next time. I wish to become a police officer someday soon. If I see any dumb guy or stupid girl harassing a gay person, I'll cuff them and haul them away in my squad car. Yeah, bisexual Black male police officer on the loose, homophobes better watch out, hurrah !!!!!!!

 

[Wolfman1982]

I'll remember that next time. I wish to become a police officer someday soon. If I see any dumb guy or stupid girl harassing a gay person, I'll cuff them and haul them away in my squad car. Yeah, bisexual Black male police officer on the loose, homophobes better watch out, hurrah !!!!!!!

Well, you aren´t the only one who hates homophobes for a good word,
I have a TS female friend who I was close getting into martialarts training, and some fucker was first lieing about he was a homo and transphobe, he said didn´t mind them. Second time I read his body language completely and he looked like he was going to puke .

That pissed me off so much. That today and everyday, I get VERY angry when I hear the homophobic crowd trashtalk to people I care about , and I don´t what colour they have and what sexuality they have and what ever !

SamuelX: you got a mate in Denmark(the country) who really have the deepest respect for you. Thumps up man !

Peace

 

[pinkpunani]

While I understand the anger, the talk of violence concerns me. I don't know any of you, and I don't presume to say anything one way or another about you. I do know that homophobia is bred from fear and ignorance. I know that those girls being highshool aged were probably just regurgitating something someone told them. In this situation, I would say you did the right thing. If these two men are grown enough to be out late at night on thier own, then they can probably take care of themselves. If it became physical, I would have intervened, but otherwise perhaps just glaring at the girls, or moving away from them, closer to the males would have been all I would do. Of course these things may encourage the group to target you, in which case I would encourage you to defend yourself and the other men. Physical violence would only serve to hurt yourself, and you have to accept at some point that you have to let other people fight for themselves.

 

[LoboBoy]

Sometimes it's not cowardly to avoid conflict; especially conflict which could easily escalate at the next stop (where the girls' boy friends could well be waiting for them ...6 girls may have 6 BF's waiting. Now what do two gay boys do against a dozen homophobes?).

The guys chose at that point to say nothing at let it ride. Doesn't mean they took it willingly....just means they assessed the situation at it was better to take the name calling at that point than risk the situation becoming a whole lot worse.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

How is the race of the girls relevant to the story?

If they were white, would you have noted it in your post?

 

[LoboBoy]

How is the race of the girls relevant to the story?

If they were white, would you have noted it in your post?

The original poster is a black man. I didn't take his referring to the girls as black or Hispanic to be racist. I think it helped paint a picture we have all seen on a train at 3am ...two white gay boys being harassed...sometimes by a minority group, who in the not to distant past, were subject to the same prejudicial treatment and hateful comments.

I think his point, and the relevance of his mentioning race, was that if these guys had chosen to stand up for themselves and a physical problem ensued, regardless of being gay ...it would read: "Two white men violently assault black women on train".

The situation is that they would have been seen as violent misogynists and the race card would have been thrown in there for the final knockout punch.

That’s why I said they did the right thing. Sometimes it’s just better to walk away than fan the flames of hatred…even if you feel justified in doing so.
Just my opinion.
(I would like to add, I would find it extremely difficult to hit a woman. Even in defence)

 

[bimori]

I think if we all stop looking at Black , White , Gay , Strait , Bi or what ever we would all be better of . It only matters that we are all good people . The girl were out of line . But maybe they knew the guy's and were just being teen's . Anyway it's never right to treat someone bad .

The original poster is a black man. I didn't take his referring to the girls as black or Hispanic to be racist. I think it helped paint a picture we have all seen on a train at 3am ...two white gay boys being harassed...sometimes by a minority group, who in the not to distant past, were subject to the same prejudicial treatment and hateful comments.

I think his point, and the relevance of his mentioning race, was that if these guys had chosen to stand up for themselves and a physical problem ensued, regardless of being gay ...it would read: "Two white men violently assault black women on train".

The situation is that they would have been seen as violent misogynists and the race card would have been thrown in there for the final knockout punch.

That’s why I said they did the right thing. Sometimes it’s just better to walk away than fan the flames of hatred…even if you feel justified in doing so.
Just my opinion.
(I would like to add, I would find it extremely difficult to hit a woman. Even in defence)

 

[Flight420]

I understand the anger that you must have felt and am sorry that it happened to you. Many years ago (1989-1990ish) I had a somewhat similar experience happen to me and my (then) BF at Miami International Airport in the gate lounge waiting for our flight. This woman who I would estimate to be in her late 20's in age (race is unimportant but for the record she was as white as a wedding cake!) approached the two of us from clear accross the room and proceeded to call us "disease carrying queers", "butt-ranger boys" but mostly she seemed to really stick to the term "fudge-packers" and was saying all of this crap out loud so that everyone in the gate area would hear! Her husband seemed to be a little embarrassed by her behavior but did or said nothing to stop it.. at first we just basically laughed at her and told her to sit the **** down and to shut the **** up! she did neither and actually anything that we said to her just seemed to entertain her all the more! Finally I approached the gate agents who even though they were checking other people in could not have missed any of what was taking place and I asked if they were going to do anything about this? To our surprise they did NOTHING and even acted preturbed that I was interrupting them. Oddly enough, up until now it was my BF that was really seething with anger yet I was oddly calm and dismissive for the most part until later on. We boarded the flight and we were seated not too far behind this woman (her and hubby were at row 10 and we were probably at row 15 or 18ish) and through the entire flight she would stand up, turn around and like a child would do, turn around facing toward us and point at us and flip us off. At this point my BF had taken a dismissive stance and I began to boil!!!! I even summoned the head F/A and made a complaint which was dismissed without so much as one word said to her by any of the crew members!!! Her antics would continue throughout the entire duration of our 2 1/2 hour flight with no one or nothing done to stop her! At this point I did get up and walk towards their row, kneeled down and spoke into her hubby's ear that once we land that I was going to deal with him and do so very violently. I could tell you exactly what the threat was but it would not go over well I don't think so let's just say that it was quite psychotically violent. Once we parked at the gate they literally ran off of the plane and I did my best to try and catch up with them but they were gone! I couldn't believe that no one with the airline did a thing to quell her down at all! I never expected to have her change her point of view, didn't really care what she thought.. I just wanted her to shut the **** up (oh, and to die). If this had not actually happened to me I don't think I would have believed this story coming from anyone else. Probably should have written a letter to the AAirline (not-so-subtle hint as to which carrier it was) but back then I guess I had no reason to expect that anything good would have come from that since nothing had been done from any other representitive.

 

[DarkAurora]

I think it's the stereotype that only men are the big homophobes but trust me, women can be plenty homophobic. At work, I had a male co-worker say to a girl something about me being gay(I don't know if it was bad or not) and she said to me right before she left, "Have fun sucking dick." I said "Bitch" really loud just as she was leaving to make sure she heard me. I usually would never ever curse out a customer, let alone be rude at all to them but there was no reason at all for her to say something like that to me. I had barely said two words to this girl. I even told my boss about it and she didn't even get mad at me because she knew there was no reason for her to say that. Also, a girl called a gay co-worker of mine a "queer" for no reason at all.

To be fair, there's been a few incidents with men too.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

The original poster is a black man. I didn't take his referring to the girls as black or Hispanic to be racist. I think it helped paint a picture we have all seen on a train at 3am ...two white gay boys being harassed...sometimes by a minority group, who in the not to distant past, were subject to the same prejudicial treatment and hateful comments.

I think his point, and the relevance of his mentioning race, was that if these guys had chosen to stand up for themselves and a physical problem ensued, regardless of being gay ...it would read: "Two white men violently assault black women on train".

The situation is that they would have been seen as violent misogynists and the race card would have been thrown in there for the final knockout punch.

That’s why I said they did the right thing. Sometimes it’s just better to walk away than fan the flames of hatred…even if you feel justified in doing so.
Just my opinion.
(I would like to add, I would find it extremely difficult to hit a woman. Even in defence)

I still don't see the relevance.

Also, if he is an adult and they are teens, what is worng with simply telling the girls to knock it off? Teenagers often say and do things they shouldn't, and if people don't say something about their bad behaviour teens assume you are endorsing it. There is no guarantee they will listen of course, but it is worth a shot.

"Staring" and "wishing" you could say something is useless.

 

[glamorilla]

How is the race of the girls relevant to the story?

If they were white, would you have noted it in your post?

if you can excuse racist behavior and comments in people who enjoy tossing words like "fag" and "nigger" and proudly whats the problem with excusing it here?

enjoy the day hun.

 

[ima6uldv8]

I would have said something to the bitches. I am very outspoken (female by the way) I don't understand why you didn't speak up. Also, I wouldn't suggest becoming a police officer. Sounds like you'd be using the job as a "legal" way to get rid of your rage. I suggest you find other, healthier venues for this.

 

[senses11]

I don't know how your hatred of those people is significantly different from their hatred of homosexuals. In fact, it sounds like you were closer to being disposed to actually harming someone for their beliefs than they were. What makes their behavior so egregious but yours so justified? They were somehow morally reprehensible but you were somehow on the moral high ground? I don't want to suggest that I agree with their position on homosexuality. But, I'm much more of a live and let live person, provided no one gets hurt. So, to me, you present more of a threat to society than they do. They are critical. You are threatening. We're all in this together. Who's the more troubling to a community - someone who threatens someone's safety, or someone who finds a lot of people's behavior distasteful? I'd suggest the former. That's you.

 

[CharleyH]

Yesterday, I went to Boston to hang. I was there with my buddies Danny and Nick. We had some fun. As it got dark, I took the train home.




As I sat there, I saw a bunch of high school-age black and Hispanic girls come in. They started making fun of two white boys who sat together opposite from me. They were calling them "fags" and stuff. I got mad. So mad I felt like I could hurt somebody. I stared at them intently, wishing one of them would say something to me, and I would have let them have it. Nope. They made fun of the boys until the boys left the train. After that, things got quieter. I felt so mad at these little bitches. I found myself wishing they'd have a disfiguring accident or something. I HATE homophobes. I don't care if they got a dick or a pussy.



When I told the story to my pal James, he advised me to calm down. Acting on my angry impulses last night would probably have gotten me in trouble but I almost feel like it would have been worth it to shut those bitches up. Some people just piss me off, man.


As for the boys, they looked alright. One was blond, the other had dark hair. I felt so bad for them. I also felt a bit ashamed of myself. I'm always raging on campus about men's rights yet this thing took place right in front of me and I wasn't sure what to do. I keep running it through my head. I've had to get physical with violent women before, so it's not the gender of the homophobes that stopped me. Is it their color ? Nope. I don't know what did.





Had they attacked the boys physically ( as I almost wished they did, it would have given me an excuse to take them down), things would have gone different. I don't care what gender you are, attacking gay people just for being gay is considered a Hate Crime. Gee, in a case involving females attacking gay males, I wonder whom the pro-feminist justice system of Massachusetts would side with. Anyway, I'm glad nobody got hurt. These things tend to escalate sometimes.



This is not the first time I've ran into stupid homophobes. Some dark part of me wishes they would say something stupid and anti-gay in an alley, with no cops around, then I would MESS them up. Seriously, man.
They piss me off.


Anyhow, I just thought I'd share this.

Great thing you did nothing to the little girls in your anger. Some - or most, I am not sure which - people are just ignorant and its sadder for them than you or I. My theory is set them straight with a smile, right before you get off the train - that way - they are left with their own shame and you feel good upon leaving.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

if you can excuse racist behavior and comments in people who enjoy tossing words like "fag" and "nigger" and proudly whats the problem with excusing it here?

enjoy the day hun.

Who says I do?

 

[Samuelx]

Oh, well. I just dont like homophobes. I have two sides to myself. One side is the gentle, kind, good-natured guy who gives directions to tourists, gives money to the poor, gives good advice to those in need and likes to write poetry and short stories. That's my "good" side. My other, darker side of mine has a deep mistrust of both men and women. I bring the blame where it lies. If a woman is bugging me, I'm not taking it to her man. I take it to her. When a girl stalked me at school, I took it to her and then to the authorities. When my sister assaulted me, you bet your ass I defended myself ! Basically, I'm nice but......I have it in me to cause serious harm to those who threaten me. I dont like being pushed around, even though 99 percent of the people who know will swear on their mother's grave that I'm a perfect gentleman who wouldn't hurt a fly. Most of the people in my life dont know me. Online, I'm more honest. I hate homophobes. I hate misandrists. I often wish serious harm would befall them. That's what happens at my darkest moments. I'm not violent......but if need be, I have it in me and I can let it out.
Comprende ?

 

[glamorilla]

Who says I do?

you do.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

you do.

Quotes?