Deal or No Deal

[ManoBlue]

Husband has poker night inviting Family and Friends.One friend brings an invited guest. It's clear while playing the guest who is not a friend (who is arrogant and a bully) manipulates the husband who is losing badly to bet his Wife... Furious and desperate the wife demands a timeout.


Which leads to her calling her Son and have him taking over for his father. The guest who doesn't care believing he's gonna win gets himself manipulated in betting his own wife.

 

[Hypoxia]

Do wives have any say in being wagered by their gambling hubbies? Here in LIT fantasyland, of COURSE not. But you'd still want a gimmick, some vulnerability, that forces them to submit. If set in USA, the wives could be foreign "mail-order brides" who aren't yet citizens and fear deportation. I have seen exactly that situation. Any trouble from the woman and she's shipped back home to poverty.

Fun in the story arises from just who is manipulating whom, and how. You likely want the asshole guest to be humiliated in the end, so work back from there. What is the story's final image? Who makes it happen?

 

[ManoBlue]

Do wives have any say in being wagered by their gambling hubbies? Here in LIT fantasyland, of COURSE not. But you'd still want a gimmick, some vulnerability, that forces them to submit. If set in USA, the wives could be foreign "mail-order brides" who aren't yet citizens and fear deportation. I have seen exactly that situation. Any trouble from the woman and she's shipped back home to poverty.

Fun in the story arises from just who is manipulating whom, and how. You likely want the asshole guest to be humiliated in the end, so work back from there. What is the story's final image? Who makes it happen?

What do you mean final image

 

[jaF0]

Personally, I'd just throw the asshole out the back door. Literally if necessary.

And the asshole that brought it.

 

[Hypoxia]

What do you mean final image

What does your mind's eye see at the conclusion? Sex, violence, laughter, escape, anticipation, or what? That's the final image, what you take away at The End.

 

[Charmolypi]

So the wives are both brain dead in hospital beds and that’s why they have no say in who fucks them?

C’mon. Give your female characters more thought.

 

[ManoBlue]

So the wives are both brain dead in hospital beds and that’s why they have no say in who fucks them?

C’mon. Give your female characters more thought.

This isn't about the female characters but about the husbands being out of bounds

 

[ManoBlue]

What does your mind's eye see at the conclusion? Sex, violence, laughter, escape, anticipation, or what? That's the final image, what you take away at The End.

Sex, laughter, amusement, being outsmarted, bullying the bully

 

[ManoBlue]

Personally, I'd just throw the asshole out the back door. Literally if necessary.

And the asshole that brought it.

It can come to that conclusion,after they're be humiliated