Deal-breakers: Why the next date never happened

[shereads]

Salon is soliciting true dating deal-breaker stories for a feature called "Match Made in Heaven, Match Made in Hell"

This one made my eyes water:
- - - - - - - - - - - -

"I was at a date's house and she asked me to get some ice from her freezer. Things between us were heating up that night, and altogether it had been a nice evening. While getting the ice, though, I found her dead ferret frozen right next to the ice cube trays. She tried to explain ("I'm from Wisconsin and I want to take it home to bury it") but all I could think of was seeing that little shriveled paw sticking out of the aluminum foil. "

Yes, that would do it.

Poor little Slinky.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

And I thought getting 5 text messages in a 2 hour span after the date ended was a good reason for lack of a 2nd date.

 

[shereads]

"...Then I noticed he had several large swords tucked between the mattress and bedsprings that I was sitting on. He said they were for "home protection," looked me deep in the eyes, and let me in on his "secret": He believed that it was his destiny to be a modern knight and protect the innocent. And he saw me as the first innocent he could dedicate himself to protecting on a full-time basis....Everything gets a little hazy at this point. I know I made it home with some excuse, and after that just nodded hello to his hangdog face at work."

(• •)

 

[Icingsugar]

"...Then I noticed he had several large swords tucked between the mattress and bedsprings that I was sitting on. He said they were for "home protection," looked me deep in the eyes, and let me in on his "secret": He believed that it was his destiny to be a modern knight and protect the innocent. And he saw me as the first innocent he could dedicate himself to protecting on a full-time basis....Everything gets a little hazy at this point. I know I made it home with some excuse, and after that just nodded hello to his hangdog face at work."

(• •)

Awww. A true romantic.

I have one:
She seemed like such a smart, beautiful and charming girl. But the Nazi svastika flag in her bedroom was kind of off-putting...

/Ice

 

[dr_mabeuse]

There are certain danger signs you should always look for when you go into someone’s apartment: any evidence of taxidermy, cigarette lighters made from hand grenades or other army ordnance, inspirational posters on the wall, toilet-paper cosies, engine parts in the kitchen, depilitory creams in the bath room, novel toilet seats, more than three pictures of desolate beaches on the walls, bongs, any sort of weapons displayed on the wall, bookshelves full of paperbacks, evidence of a Garfield fetish, themed sets of refrigerator magnets, a TV in the bedroom bigger than the one in the living room, mirrored tiles on the bedroom ceiling, too many scented candles, etc. etc..

I knew a girl who once went out with this guy, and the date went nicely. They went back to his apartment which seemed to have none of these danger signals until she started looking at the pictures on his walls. The guy was an artist, and all the pictures were of Barbra Streisand, cut from magazines. Then he started pulling his own Barbra Steisand paintings out of his closet and from under his bed. He had scores of them. Finally showed her, in another room, his studio where he had this big 5’X7’ collage of Barbra and her entire life that he was working on.

That did it for her. Out she went.

---dr.M.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

A sure-fire way to make me loose all interest in a second date - hell, in continuing the current one, even! - would be to light a cigarette.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

three's a crowd

For all the fellas out there...it is NOT a good idea to ask your date how old her younger sister is and if she's currently seeing anyone.

But I suppose the reason I didn't get called back was because of my unfortunate knee-jerk reaction that somehow hit him square in the package...oops! Gotta have that checked out.
-E

 

[minsue]

Re: three's a crowd

For all the fellas out there...it is NOT a good idea to ask your date how old her younger sister is and if she's currently seeing anyone.

But I suppose the reason I didn't get called back was because of my unfortunate knee-jerk reaction that somehow hit him square in the package...oops! Gotta have that checked out.
-E

As I posted on a different thread, it's also not a good idea to tell a girl (with a smarmy voice) that she's starting to look a lot like her mom.

One of my other favorite deal breakers was a guy I was hanging all over at a party (I was completely trashed ) until he tried to compliment me by telling me he "likes a girl with a little meat on her bones" while rubbing my stomach. Ick.

- Mindy, looking back with chagrin at the idiots who were attractive to me during the constantly drunk years...

 

[dee1124]

Re: Re: three's a crowd

As I posted on a different thread, it's also not a good idea to tell a girl (with a smarmy voice) that she's starting to look a lot like her mom.

One of my other favorite deal breakers was a guy I was hanging all over at a party (I was completely trashed ) until he tried to compliment me by telling me he "likes a girl with a little meat on her bones" while rubbing my stomach. Ick.

- Mindy, looking back with chagrin at the idiots who were attractive to me during the constantly drunk years...

Ick, indeed, Mindy. It's amazing, the cliche is that you don't remember parties like that, where you were trashed, but you do retain memories of the strangest things, like hearing "a little meat of her bones."

 

[oggbashan]

Lack of books

If I visit her parents' home, her flat or other dwelling and there isn't a book in sight the affair is going nowhere.

If there are books but they are arranged by size and shape not author or type - ditto.

If there are books everywhere then the interest level rises dramatically.

Og

 

[minsue]

Re: Re: Re: three's a crowd

Ick, indeed, Mindy. It's amazing, the cliche is that you don't remember parties like that, where you were trashed, but you do retain memories of the strangest things, like hearing "a little meat of her bones."

Too true, Dee. I couldn't tell you what he looked like or what his name was, but I'll never forget his voice saying those words or the *Run! Run!* alarm going off in my head.

If I visit her parents' home, her flat or other dwelling and there isn't a book in sight the affair is going nowhere.

If there are books but they are arranged by size and shape not author or type - ditto.

If there are books everywhere then the interest level rises dramatically.

Og

I couldn't agree more, Og. You are always so wise.

- Mindy

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Lack of books

If I visit her parents' home, her flat or other dwelling and there isn't a book in sight the affair is going nowhere.

If there are books but they are arranged by size and shape not author or type - ditto.

If there are books everywhere then the interest level rises dramatically.

Og

What about a bookshelf filled to the point of bursting with books of atleast 40 different topics, all sorted after the principal "jam it in wherever it fits"?

 

[pop_54]

Re: three's a crowd

For all the fellas out there...it is NOT a good idea to ask your date how old her younger sister is and if she's currently seeing anyone.

But I suppose the reason I didn't get called back was because of my unfortunate knee-jerk reaction that somehow hit him square in the package...oops! Gotta have that checked out.
-E

You never told me you had a younger sister, how old is she by the way? And is she attached??

PS: I don't mind a bit of pain

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmmmm

I once dated a girl who always wore gloves when out in the streets, I rather panicked a little when we got back to her home and she took her gloves off to reveal she had six fingers on each hand.

The decider was when she picked up her Banjo and began playing country music while her brother leered at her with his tongue out and his hand on his dick.

I thought Hmm, something odd here and left.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: three's a crowd

You never told me you had a younger sister, how old is she by the way? And is she attached??

PS: I don't mind a bit of pain

You kinky old coot. Go right ahead and show interest in her...but I'm warning you...she's a serious prude and you'd have a lot more fun taking a knee from me than you'd ever have with her.

-E

p.s. I can't be sure exactly, but I don't recall the boy's description of our encounter as 'a bit of pain'. But this was long ago and my memory is sometimes fuzzy.

 

[pixiesjuice]

Sex for the first time at his place (he lives with his mother, but you can overlook that because you've been dying to have sex since you first laid eyes on him); you've made it past his mother's bedroom, and as he throws you onto his bed with every intention of ravishing you to within an inch of your life you feel something sloshing underneath you... no it's not a waterbed... its the hotwater bottle that his mother has thoughtfully wrapped his pjs around!

It's not a good sign, especially since he was over 30 at the time.

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Re: three's a crowd

You kinky old coot. Go right ahead and show interest in her...but I'm warning you...she's a serious prude and you'd have a lot more fun taking a knee from me than you'd ever have with her.

-E

p.s. I can't be sure exactly, but I don't recall the boy's description of our encounter as 'a bit of pain'. But this was long ago and my memory is sometimes fuzzy.

Ok you've convinced me, I'll take the knee

 

[angela146]

... bookshelves full of paperbacks, ...

Um... I don't get this one. Is it because they're paperbacks, on shelves or that she (the date) reads too many books?

Gosh, I was thinking of inviting Dr. M. over for an orgy but there's all these paperbacks on my shelves... What to do? ... what to do? ...

I can't imagine that Dr M would be put off by a bookworm, so I have to think it's either the anal rententive thing or perhaps a bit of snobbishness about choice of reading material...

(For those of us who read 120+ books a year, hardcovers can be kind of expensive, not to mention the fact that they take up a lot of space...)

Now if you're suggesting that I should put them in boxes when finished... well... OK... time to get Hubby involved...

Honey? Could you go out and get some boxes? How many? Um... enough to hold maybe 1,000 books or so...

 

[angela146]

Re: Lack of books

If I visit her parents' home, her flat or other dwelling and there isn't a book in sight the affair is going nowhere.

If there are books but they are arranged by size and shape not author or type - ditto.

If there are books everywhere then the interest level rises dramatically.

Og

But is it OK if they're paperbacks?

 

[angela146]

Re: Re: Lack of books

What about a bookshelf filled to the point of bursting with books of atleast 40 different topics, all sorted after the principal "jam it in wherever it fits"?

If the books are organized in an other fashion, I worry... unless he/she's a librarian. That's kind of an occupational hazard (and librarians can be cute).

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I once was schocked into near sobriety by being told that my hips were perfect for "birthing babies"

 

[minsue]

I once was schocked into near sobriety by being told that my hips were perfect for "birthing babies"

ROFL! I was once told I am "built for battle" because there's less than a centimeter between my rib cage and the tops of my hips.

- Mindy

 

[shereads]

Re: Hmmmmmmmmm

... I rather panicked a little when we got back to her home and she took her gloves off to reveal she had six fingers on each hand.

The decider was when she picked up her Banjo and began playing country music while her brother leered at her with his tongue out and his hand on his dick.

Good lord. That deserves to be a story.

It should never have been a date, but it needs to be a story.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Hmmmmmmmmm

It should never have been a date, but it needs to be a story.

Ha ha, ella. You don't know Pops well do you? It is a story.

Perdita

 

[NoJo]

Re: Hmmmmmmmmm

I thought Hmm, something odd here and left.

I completely believed your whole story except for that last part. It just didn't ring true.