Dazed and Confused

[scheherazade_79]

OK, I'll admit it - I'm having a marijuana holiday at the moment. Three days where I'm not in work, I have no commitments, and all I do is chill out around the house, writing, surfing the net, watching movies, eating and spending quality time with my dogs.

After moving house, a couple of tough days at work and another relationship break-up it feels like heaven.

However, something happened today that thoroughly confused me. I took the dogs for a walk to the local tobacconist and picked up four packets of rolling paper and three packets of roaches (little strips of card that you can use to firm up a home-made smoke).

Somehow, it came to £5!

I am completely and utterly mystified

How can a couple of packets of cigarette paper and a couple of roach books come to £5?

Does that strike anyone else as odd?

Postscript -
When I got back to the house I was glad that I'd taken the dogs with me. Two Jehova's Witnesses were at the door. For the first time ever they accepted that I didn't want saving and hared it over the road. I'm not sure who scared them the most - me or the dogs

 

[china-doll]

OK, I'll admit it - I'm having a marijuana holiday at the moment. Three days where I'm not in work, I have no commitments, and all I do is chill out around the house, writing, surfing the net, watching movies, eating and spending quality time with my dogs.

After moving house, a couple of tough days at work and another relationship break-up it feels like heaven.

However, something happened today that thoroughly confused me. I took the dogs for a walk to the local tobacconist and picked up four packets of rolling paper and three packets of roaches (little strips of card that you can use to firm up a home-made smoke).

Somehow, it came to £5!

I am completely and utterly mystified

How can a couple of packets of cigarette paper and a couple of roach books come to £5?

Does that strike anyone else as odd?

Postscript -
When I got back to the house I was glad that I'd taken the dogs with me. Two Jehova's Witnesses were at the door. For the first time ever they accepted that I didn't want saving and hared it over the road. I'm not sure who scared them the most - me or the dogs

Are you buying those fancy Imported rolling papers again?

Honestly no idea but I'd suspect you just donated a few pounds to the guy running the till.

And Kudos on getting rid of the witnesses, I can never manage to get rid of them without being overtly rude. (My pig just isn't as intimidating as a large dog.)

 

[scheherazade_79]

That's a point - some of the papers were quite fancy. They had pictures of Bob Marley on the front and lines from his songs on the inside, which is why I thought they were groovy. The others are just bog standard Rizlas, although they have nice little catch-phrases on them too, such as "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughs", and another about creativity and music.

I think at the end of the day I've just been ripped off.

I was relieved about the JWs, though. Sometimes they can be a real pain. I once told a pair of extremely persistant ones that I was gay - in an attempt to scare them off - but they just redoubled their efforts to convert me. Why can't those people just live and let live?

 

[china-doll]

That's a point - some of the papers were quite fancy. They had pictures of Bob Marley on the front and lines from his songs on the inside, which is why I thought they were groovy. The others are just bog standard Rizlas, although they have nice little catch-phrases on them too, such as "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughs", and another about creativity and music.

I think at the end of the day I've just been ripped off.

I was relieved about the JWs, though. Sometimes they can be a real pain. I once told a pair of extremely persistant ones that I was gay - in an attempt to scare them off - but they just redoubled their efforts to convert me. Why can't those people just live and let live?

I think you're right, you got ripped off. Sorry. But at least the papers are cool.

Next time tell them that in addition to being a lesbian, you write porn. They'll probablly set up a prayer group in your front yard.

 

[rgraham666]

I'm a pipe smoker so I can't help you there.

As far as Jehovah's witnesses go, I show them my fangs and they get the idea.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I think at the end of the day I've just been ripped off.

I was relieved about the JWs, though. Sometimes they can be a real pain.

Yep.

Yep.

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

Postscript -
When I got back to the house I was glad that I'd taken the dogs with me. Two Jehova's Witnesses were at the door. For the first time ever they accepted that I didn't want saving and hared it over the road. I'm not sure who scared them the most - me or the dogs

I love the Mormons...you know when they leave and they ask you if before they leave they can do anything for you. Well...tey actually have to do whatever you ask for.

I've had a mormon mow my lawn before and it was priceless watching three mormons wash my car on a sultry august afternoon. If their g-d had only known what kind of perverse fantasies that moment would spawn later. I can still see their white shirts clinging to their bodies from the water.

MMMM...young verile 19 year old boys....

~WOK

 

[rgraham666]

You're a sick, twisted and demented person WOK.

I like you a lot.

 

[Guest]

I like you a lot.

Thank thee.

 

[Belegon]

Actually did this one day when I was sick of being interrupted by a particular pair of lady JW's...

saw who was at the door, stripped down, answered the door naked and before they could start their spiel told them,

"I'm sorry, I was just about to masturbate to some really good porn. Perhaps another day?"

...turned and walked away, popped in a tape loud enough that they could hear that it was porn, then walked back and shut the door.

They were already walking away. Never saw them again.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Actually did this one day when I was sick of being interrupted by a particular pair of lady JW's...

saw who was at the door, stripped down, answered the door naked and before they could start their spiel told them,

"I'm sorry, I was just about to masturbate to some really good porn. Perhaps another day?"

...turned and walked away, popped in a tape loud enough that they could hear that it was porn, then walked back and shut the door.

They were already walking away. Never saw them again.

Wow! Belegon! You just entered my heroes list!

 

[scheherazade_79]

I love the Mormons...you know when they leave and they ask you if before they leave they can do anything for you. Well...tey actually have to do whatever you ask for.

I've had a mormon mow my lawn before and it was priceless watching three mormons wash my car on a sultry august afternoon. If their g-d had only known what kind of perverse fantasies that moment would spawn later. I can still see their white shirts clinging to their bodies from the water.

MMMM...young verile 19 year old boys....

~WOK

WOK, seconding what RG said! I hope you at least looked pretended to be interest in what they were saying!

 

[Guest]

Actually did this one day when I was sick of being interrupted by a particular pair of lady JW's...

saw who was at the door, stripped down, answered the door naked and before they could start their spiel told them,

"I'm sorry, I was just about to masturbate to some really good porn. Perhaps another day?"

...turned and walked away, popped in a tape loud enough that they could hear that it was porn, then walked back and shut the door.

They were already walking away. Never saw them again.

Wow! Belegon! You just entered my heroes list!

 

[TheEarl]

I'm too nice. I've never perfected the art of telling people at the door to fuck off. I'm one of those people who nods and smiles along for a while and very politely waits till they've finished.

I'd love to just start giggling at them. Or maybe ask them the question that's been bugging me: "Excuse me, you guys believe that only a limited, fixed number of people get into heaven, right? So why are you trying to convert me? Surely that would damage your own prospects of getting in, as I might be a more deserving person than you?"

The Earl

 

[oggbashan]

Witnesses: I just say 'This is a Muslim household'. It isn't but that statement gets rid of Jehovah's Witnesses faster than anything else.

Og

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I love the Mormons...you know when they leave and they ask you if before they leave they can do anything for you. Well...tey actually have to do whatever you ask for.

I've had a mormon mow my lawn before and it was priceless watching three mormons wash my car on a sultry august afternoon. If their g-d had only known what kind of perverse fantasies that moment would spawn later. I can still see their white shirts clinging to their bodies from the water.

MMMM...young verile 19 year old boys....

~WOK

Sigh, young virile missionaries. Hey, I've got yer mission right here, baby.

 

[cloudy]

Witnesses: I just say 'This is a Muslim household'. It isn't but that statement gets rid of Jehovah's Witnesses faster than anything else.

Og

Smudging them with burning sage before you'll let them cross the threshold gets rid of 'em quick, too.

 

[Guest]

Witnesses: I just say 'This is a Muslim household'. It isn't but that statement gets rid of Jehovah's Witnesses faster than anything else.

Og

LOL

I came to the right place, then.

 

[NoJo]

LOL

I came to the right place, then.

Svet nothings.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Actually did this one day when I was sick of being interrupted by a particular pair of lady JW's...

saw who was at the door, stripped down, answered the door naked and before they could start their spiel told them,

"I'm sorry, I was just about to masturbate to some really good porn. Perhaps another day?"

...turned and walked away, popped in a tape loud enough that they could hear that it was porn, then walked back and shut the door.

They were already walking away. Never saw them again.

I'm a Jahova's Witness- what's your address?

OK, ok, I'm not really a Jahova's Witness- but I'm willing to convert.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I'm too nice. I've never perfected the art of telling people at the door to fuck off. I'm one of those people who nods and smiles along for a while and very politely waits till they've finished.

I'd love to just start giggling at them. Or maybe ask them the question that's been bugging me: "Excuse me, you guys believe that only a limited, fixed number of people get into heaven, right? So why are you trying to convert me? Surely that would damage your own prospects of getting in, as I might be a more deserving person than you?"

The Earl

Well, no- because they can't get in if they don't try to convert you [Sadistic God they serve, 'ey?]

Anyway, they come to my house- a young girl (and I mean probably a teenager) w/ another lady. They both seem a little shy actually. they give me there little books and I often read them- I'm such a word whore, I'll read anything But I always beg off that I'm busy (they see my kid tearing up the house- how can they argue?) They are very sweet and nice and I am nice back. They don't come every day or anything either so that's good.

 

[oggbashan]

Why does this thread make me think of a large lady saying that she'd ski naked with a rose between her teeth?

Og

 

[snooper]

I love the Mormons...you know when they leave and they ask you if before they leave they can do anything for you. Well...they actually have to do whatever you ask for. ...

I didn't know that, but when we had just moved house and they called I said we had just moved and were busy, but come back later (I love teasing them). They said could they help and I had 36 boxes of books, each 20" x 11" x 18" to move from where they had been dumped to where I wanted them. Those f*****s are heavy, especially the last few! I said they could do that and they did it like lambs. They never came back for our little chat though.

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

WOK, seconding what RG said! I hope you at least looked pretended to be interest in what they were saying!

Whyever would I do that? I'm Jewish. Don't you know other religions get extra points for converting Jews?

I did however, have a lawn of 3 foot high weeds (things grow fast here in the south...which is good because it gives all the billy-bobs a reason to own a John Deere even if they only have a 4'x4' yard)....and those weeds needed-a-mowin.

Next time my septic needs to be pumped I was thinking about having a spiritual crisis and calling my local mormon temple about it......

~WOK