Damsels in Distress

[Ferrumitzal]

New to the forum, but not the lit. I think I'm gonna like it here.

I just finished reading the Damsels in Distress stories over on [Web site name removed per Forum Rules.] and it got me thinking. I'm not a good writer, but I've always been interested in giving it a try. The DiD universe is appealing because I have a strong background in primitive technologies and fighting. An odd combination, but there it is.

I'd like to get some ideas on how you'd go about breaking the will of a Damsel and turning her into a willing slave.

Keeping with what we know about the DiD universe:

1) the damsels are very sexual and exceptionally beautiful compared to the native women, but because of their genetic differences, the bodily fluids of the damsels causes an intense burning sensation in the penis of the native population. Literally, look but don't fuck.... unless you like a dick that feels like it's been boiled.

Known colloquially as 'cockburners', the damsels are highly prized as slaves because of their looks, but a way to prevent the burning would make them a VERY lucrative commodity on the local slave market.

2) slavery is an accepted practice on the planet, and all women are considered second-class citizens. Even wives don't usually own property or have any wealth - if the husband dies, they could be taken as slaves regardless of their former standing.

3) technology and science is at a level similar to Europe circa 1400AD. There is knowledge of local plants with medicinal uses and psychotropic properties. Poppies (opiates) are sometimes used to make an anesthetic tea in varying strengths.

4) recently a group of earth-based humans (Brotherhood) have found a way to travel to the planet without going through the usual checkpoint and have introduced some earth-based materials. They are interested in taking over the entire both the primitive world and the world that the damsels originate from.

5) damsels emit a pheromone that can cause aggression and possessiveness in the native male population. Even when it's irrational, the natives can't resist.

6) while there is satellite surveillance of the planet and the damsels' locations, it isn't continuous and damsels have been known to remain in captivity for years before rescue. Often, the damsels endure ungodly conditions, including torture, during their time on the planet. Death is a common result of their captivity.

If that's the basic premise of the universe, the rules, I can see how a lot of the stories on this forum could be used as stepping stones or guides. What I'm seeing is a villain that is interested in finding a way of training the Damsels to be obedient by playing on their strong sexual nature, but also using the local plants to find or attempt to find a way of stopping the burning. Considering the value of the slave market, there is ample financial incentive for someone to find a way to make these top-tier slaves more pliable and safe to use.

With the Brotherhood now in the mix and interested in conquering both worlds, again there's ample motivation to find a way of controlling the damsels.

The whole story could begin simply as an accident. The villain bought the cockburner to use and abuse, as any good villain would, and then found a mixture of local fauna that didn't stop the burning as he'd hoped, but did put the burner into a light hypnotic trance. That's not something too outlandish.

Where I get stuck is with the training regimen as a whole. I've read a few of the BDSM stories here and I like the ones physical and psychological techniques to reshape a person's way of thinking. Mostly non-con, to be sure, but light hypnotic trance does not mean you can make a willing slave in a quick jump.

I'd love to hear some ideas on how to better develop the story idea. Feel free to use the idea to create your own story.

DiD Universe: [Link to "competitor story site" removed per Forum Rules.] ]

 

[GorgeousGeekGirl]

Sounds like Helsinke syndrome in space. If you research it, you'll get lots of long boring psychobabble about brainwashing, but it all comes down to the carrot and the stick. She does as she's told, she gets the carrot. When she doesn't, she gets the stick. The problem with most torture ideas is that it goes only with the stick, then bigger sticks. This does not make someone a willing slave, but more desperate, and therefore more dangerous and unpredictable. To make someone a willing slave, they need to know forgiveness can be earned, and effort will be rewarded.

Example, you want damsel to wear an Elvira dress. You bring in the dress and her food. The food is the same flat tofu crap. You show her the dress and give her a bite of cookie. You tell her if she wears the dress, she will get the rest of the cookie. She refuses, so you let her get halfway done with the tofu, then take the meal away. Next meal, you have the cookie and tofu. You ask if she will wear the dress now. If yes, she gets cookie after putting it on. If no, leave the dress and take away cookie, so she's looking at it whilst eating tofu. Next meal walk in with tofu and cookie. If she still hasn't put on the dress, tear off the dress she is wearing, then leave with cookie, but leave dress. Next time, if she still isn't wearing dress, take it away. Now skip a meal, no one comes with tofu. After that, come with tofu. By then, because she's naked, she asks for clothes, give her the dress. When she puts it on, she's going to feel bad. You want her to feel good about obeying and order, so you give her 2 cookies and tell her how pretty she is. Over next few days, include cookie with meals. Then, find a new hoochie dress. Come in with hoochie dress and ugly dress. Make her take off Elvira dress, then tell her you'll be back in an hour with lunch. She needs to decide which dress. If ugly, repeat above steps. If hoochie, she gets yummies. See, training

 

[Sean Renaud]

Sounds like Gor but with a needlessly complex add on.

I'm not against the story by the way it just sounds like so much of what's there is extra stuff that just complicats things and Gor has more than enough bullshit added just for fun (Don't get me wrong, I want a fucking Tarn) but it's still a bunch of stuff that's just there to get in the way of a perfectly good swords and sandals story.

 

[Ferrumitzal]

3G, I wasn't aware of Helsinke Syndrome and will have to look it up.

You're basic premise, however, is spot on the money. I like stories where the psychology of the transformation is explained as we watch the character go from hating the experience to relishing in it. This dictates that the story take a long while. I would use Slut Mommie or Summer training as an example of how a character gets used to her condition over a prolonged period and is exposed to more and more debauchery. Both use the carrot and the stick, but both deal a good bit with the mental aspect.

SR, I always found the Gor series to be poorly written and less than erotic. The DiD universe doesn't seem to be centered around eroticism, though. In fact, other than a few sex scenes in some tales, it's more about the hero's training and adventure.

I think that's why I would like to see something written from the damsel's perspective. The points that I brought up in the OP are from a dozen different stories by a handful of authors, and no one story has combined all of these little details. Certainly no story has been written from the slave's viewpoint.

It might be rather boring from the slave's perspective if there isn't a lot of detail about the training or what the hero is going through.

The crux of the issue, however, is how one might compile the story. It would be nice to create a universe inside the universe where a hero is set up for multiple stories in the future. Said hero then goes on a mission to rescue the damsel only to find out that she's been seriously brainwashed over the last year or two and is now a willing, happy, compliant slave with no desires other than her master's pleasure. What kinks would that throw into the works? That's where I'm stuck at.

I can see the details of her training being discovered in the villain's journal. The rest of the story is a typical hero-based tale with vignettes of the slave's experience used to detail and explain what has happened to her.

Good to bounce this stuff off of the walls and see what new ideas pop up.

 

[Sean Renaud]

The Gor books are not particularly well written. The author is a psychologist first and an author third or fourth. He's better than Ayn Rand but that's not exactly a compliment. They are less erotic because that's just the motivation for the main characters. It's like how Lord of the Rings doesn't really go into the politics of why everybody acts the way that they do. It's important that you understand that these various races and kingdoms have these relationships but the how and why aren't. Anyway I was just throwing that out there.

DiD sounds like a fine universe and it's not like Gor is exactly mainstream. I was just thinking that unless you're working on a REALLY long story that all those things about how these women are basically poisonous is just one more hurdle to worry about and it wouldn't be much of a story if our hero didn't have a solution pretty early on.

 

[lovecraft68]

I used to think the Gor books were poorly written.

Then I read the first few chapters of 50 shade.

Gor is Pulitzer prize winning material in comparison.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I used to think the Gor books were poorly written.

Then I read the first few chapters of 50 shade.

Gor is Pulitzer prize winning material in comparison.

I haven't read 50 shades but again, that's like saying Gor are well written when compared to Atlas Shrugged or that Batman and Robin is a good movie because Battleship exists.

If those are the scores we're working with I submit that no bad movie has been made since Manos Hand of Fate was filmed.

I just did a quick glance of the DiD world (Wow, I keep seeing that and thinking DnD even as I'm typing it.) and. . .like Gor there is a LOT there. We'd probably be wise to start narrowing this a little.

Is there a particular culture you'd like to see explored? I assume that like Gor (and for that matter Hyboria and most fantasy settings) there is a place that's roughly Asian, Middle East, Native American, Viking, British, Roman and African? (What? That is fairly standard for fantasy!) That might help give a little flavor.

 

[Ferrumitzal]

Sean, to date I have not seen anything to indicate cultures other than 1400AD Europe. There is one story that mentions a desert region and "swarthy" skin that could indicate an arabic background, but that's as non-white as it gets.

I've not seen a damsel described in a manner that would lead me to believe that they are other than european in appearance.

Because there's no fixed time-line, you could put the characters in an urban setting that's nothing more than a trumped up village surrounding a castle or large trading center on the river. Those still wouldn't be thriving centers of technological innovation, though. The wealth of the villain is easily established by trading in various goods and stealing from others.

The desire for control of the damsels is easy as they've already been established as a valuable commodity by both the indigenous people and the Brotherhood. While their motivations might be different, there's plenty of motivation to go around.

The length of the story isn't a problem for me: I detest simple two-paragraph stories and have no problem reading something that's 50000 words or better.

If you take the time to establish the hero so that you can use that character for multiple stories, you could actually use one or two short stories to accomplish that before going after the damaged damsel. In most stories, the new hero is given easy rescues because the danger is too great when they are new to the world. I could see the hero establishing himself, and I have a few ideas for the character of the hero, and go on an easy save. Then have the damaged damsel literally fall into his hands on the way out with the intended damsel, and the story really picks up as the hero and caretaker try to figure out what happened to the damaged damsel.

A lot of different ways you could run with the tale, and I like the idea of snippets from the villain's journal explaining what she went through rather than following her experiences as they happen. That might be boring.