Damon Runyon's present tense

[Stella_Omega]

Runyon wrote everything in present tense, including the things that happened yesterday, and in a mixture of grandiose and slang usages. I have been enchanted by this technique since the first time I read;

If I have all the tears that are shed on Broadway by guys in love, I will have enough salt water to start an opposition ocean to the Atlantic and Pacific, with enough left over to run the Great Salt Lake out of business. But I wish to say I never shed any of these tears personally, because I am never in love, and furthermore, barring a bad break, I never expect to be in love, for the way I look at it love is strictly the old phedinkus, and I tell the little guy as much.

Wikipedia describes his tense use thusly;

Literary Style

The near total avoidance of past tense (it is used only once, in the short story "The Lily of St Pierre") is not the only oddity of Runyon's use of tense; he also avoided the conditional, using instead the future indicative in situations that would normally require conditional. An example: "Now most any doll on Broadway will be very glad indeed to have Handsome Jack Madigan give her a tumble ..." (Guys and dolls, "Social error").

("Will", not "would")

*sigh* of admiration! I've been able to write a paragraph or two in pastiche, but I've never successfully carried it through an entire story. But if I were to write a comedic erotic story, this would be my comedy vehicle.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Keep tryin'! We will be glad to give it a read while youse is tellin' about tumblin'.

 

[trysail]

"While the race may not always go to the swift nor the battle to the strong— that's the way to bet."
-Damon Runyon


It took me far too long to learn the truth of this quintissential piece of Runyonesque wisdom. It's one of my favorite aphorisms and I think of it whenever I see his name. That doesn't mean I don't occasionally root for the underdog. Nevertheless, when it gets down to serious nut-cuttin' time and it's my money or money for which I have a fiduciary responsibility only a fool would fail to heed Runyon's advice.

 

[Stella_Omega]

What the fuck, Trysail!

I'm talking about writing comedy-- and sex -- not finances.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Yeah, when we're talkin' about money we has no sense of humor!

 

[trysail]

What the fuck, Trysail!

I'm talking about writing comedy-- and sex -- not finances.

Sorry, Stella. Would it help if I told you I've got some near-Pavlovian responses when it comes to Runyon?

"Can do, can do—
man says the horse
can do."

-Damon Runyon
Guys And Dolls

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sorry, Stella. Would it help if I told you I've got some near-Pavlovian responses when it comes to Runyon?
"Can do, can do—
man says the horse
can do."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

-Damon Runyon
Guys And Dolls
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I like that little bit in 'Sue me, Sue me' when Frank Sinatra slides off the chair onto his knees-- that's something you don't see every day

If you have never actually read Runyon, you have a fine time ahead of you!